Now, most nights before she went to sleep, she rang his number and whispered, “I love you Daniel,” as his recorded voice faded away.
She put her hand over Lisa’s and squeezed gently.
“Have you told Paul about the baby?”
Lisa shook her head.
“I can’t yet. I don’t want to make him have to ask me over. I don’t want to feel like I’m a burden, forcing him to have me there.”
Carrie sighed.
“I think you should tell him right away. He’s going to have to face up to his responsibilities sometime soon and support you both anyway, so he might as well get used to the idea. It will make him focus on this Atlanta trial if he has an incentive and a baby is a pretty big incentive.”
Lisa gave a dismissive shrug.
“Depends on if you want one or not. If he doesn’t want me or this baby, he may not try very hard at all. I want him to ask me over before I tell him.”
Carrie laughed at her friend.
“Well, I should tell him before it shows too much. You may give him a heart attack if you waddle out of the airport in five months’ time with a massive baby belly that he’s not expecting.”
Lisa laughed back at her as she rubbed her hand gently over her still flat stomach.
“I guess you’re right. That’s probably not the best way to find out that you’re going to become a dad. I’ll just have to be brave and tell him the next time he rings.” Then she suddenly jumped up off the wall and wrung her hands in panic. “But what if he really doesn’t want it or me? What if it was just a one night stand and he says he doesn’t want me to go out there?”
Carrie laughed even louder.
“You idiot Lisa. You know he loves you. He rings you two or three times a day. I think he blows his whole spending budget calling you all the time. You both knew what you were doing when you were at that hotel, and he must have wondered if he’d made you pregnant, especially as you didn’t use any protection. I expect he was waiting for you to say something last month.”
Lisa smiled wistfully.
“He did keep asking me if I was okay.” She yawned widely. “I’m going to have to tell Antonio soon as well. There’s no way I’ll be dancing for the New Year concerts, I can barely keep up now. He’ll want to find someone to take my place.”
Carrie turned sideways to her.
“How do you feel about giving it all up?”
Lisa shrugged.
“Right at this moment, I’m so knackered and my boobs are so sore with all that bouncing around, I couldn’t care less about it all. We’ll just have to see if I can keep fit enough to go back to it afterwards, but if Paul is okay with everything, I won’t be worrying about that anyway.”
Carrie smiled at her again and then looked back to where she could see the others whirling about inside the studio. She couldn’t look at Lisa as she asked the question that had been playing on her mind for weeks.
“Does Paul ever say anything about Daniel?”
Lisa grinned.
“I thought you’d never ask! All the time. They are best friends Carrie. They do practically everything together. They’re even working in the same bar in the evenings and Daniel’s trial for the Raiders is the day before Paul’s. You know, I think if only one of them gets a place on the team, I’m sure the other won’t do it without them. They’re more like brothers than friends.” She patted Carrie’s hand. “I’m pretty sure you don’t have anything to worry about Carrie. Paul says that Daniel keeps himself really quiet. He’s not like the rest of the students. He doesn’t go out with any of the girls that hang around them all the time.”
Carrie sighed again. It wasn’t much comfort. Rather than reassure her it just made her certain that he preferred men to women. She stood up and turned back to the studio as Lisa’s phone suddenly rang.
Her trembling hand moved to her pocket and then hesitated. Carried waited for a second and then encouraged her.
“I bet that’s Paul now. Go on, answer it. For goodness sake tell him before it’s too late. I’m going back in before Antonio blows a fuse. I’ll speak to you afterwards okay?”
Lisa nodded and bent her head to her phone. Carrie heard a few quiet words of their conversation.
“Paul, I need to tell you something, please don’t be mad…No! You idiot, stop shouting! I haven’t found another boyfriend! Just listen a moment will you…”
The doors shut behind Carrie and she joined in with the routine on the edge of the dance floor. She went through the moves as if on automatic pilot, wishing with all her heart that it was her who had had the most wonderful night of her life with the man she loved and that it was she who was pregnant.
She could almost feel Daniel’s massive, muscled body clasping her tightly as she danced. She closed her eyes, wondering what their first time together would have been like. She had felt his chest and arms often enough, but the rest of him…She gave a thrilling shiver as she danced, the thoughts spinning around and around in her head, building and then peaking, almost reaching a climax…Then she came back down to earth and opened her eyes as the music suddenly stopped and she heard Antonio’s furious yell.
“What the hell do you mean? Pregnant! You have a contract here and you cannot be pregnant Lisa! I forbid it!” His face was purple with rage.
Lisa lifted her chin defiantly.
“It’s too late I’m afraid. I’m leaving Antonio. I don’t care about the contract. I’m going to America. I was just on the phone with Paul and told him about the baby. He says I’m to take the next flight out. If I don’t arrive in Atlanta by tomorrow night, he’s coming to get me.” She was beaming with happiness as she walked to the back of the studio and picked up her duffel bag, then she skipped straight back to Carrie and hugged her hard. “I’ll call you as soon as I get there okay. Paul’s thrilled. He’s going to find somewhere for us today. He says he’s just being lazy and not looking hard enough. Life’s pretty easy on campus, but he reckons if he and Daniel pool their rent money, they can find somewhere a little out of town with two or even three bedrooms that they can afford between them. We’re going to all be living together.” Her eyes were shining brightly.
Carrie hugged Lisa back. She was thrilled for her friend, but also as envious of her as she had been of anyone in her entire life. For just one second she thought that she knew exactly how Jennifer Crane had felt when Carrie had won the first dancing audition. But Carrie at least wasn’t going to be spiteful about it.
“Thank goodness, I told you it would all be okay. Now go and book a flight. You have all my numbers and my email. Let me know how you’re getting on as soon as you can.” She let Lisa go and turned back to the still purple Antonio. “Come on Antonio. We’ll be fine without her. You still have the rest of us.”
Antonio gave a great snort and spoke bitterly.
“Yes, but for how long? As soon as you girls become interested in men, all sense of responsibility goes out of the window. I’ve seen it happen before. It’s an absolute nightmare. You are the best team I have ever had. How am I meant to keep you all together if you all run off and get yourselves pregnant all the time?” He ranted on, sounding close to tears.
James grinned widely and spoke up loudly.
“I don’t intend getting pregnant anytime soon Antonio and I’m pretty sure Callum, Joe, Toby and Pete feel the same.” Howls of laughter rang round the hall.
Antonio flapped his hands.
“Oh, you lot can mock! It’s not funny. I think I’m going to write it into your contracts that you are forbidden to have sex.” He ignored the boys as they fell about, laughing hysterically. “Okay Lisa, what’s done is done and I wish you well. If you keep the dancing up and ever come back to England, look us up. I’m sure we will be able to find something for someone as talented as you.” He held out his hand to her, but she ignored it as she threw her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek.
“Thanks Antonio.” She stepped back. “I won’t forget you. We’ll be back in l
ess than three years. It won’t seem like five minutes, so keep me updated on everything you are doing.” She gave another quick wave to Carrie and walked out of the doors.
Antonio gave a huge sigh.
“This leaves us with hole in our line up and it’s going to be too difficult to introduce someone new at this late stage. I think we should alter our positioning and have a look round for a replacement after Christmas.” He glanced around at each of them as they all nodded and spaced out again. “Right, Carrie, with one less girl in the crew I’m moving you up a line. Don’t forget to go backwards three paces more when you come to the transition. Okay, let’s go again. On Four.” He started the music up again and Carrie put everything she could into it. It must have been okay as Antonio didn’t moan and only corrected her positioning once. Everyone else fitted in around her and the rehearsal came to a close with everyone hitting high fives and promising to do even better the next time.
That night Carrie rang Daniel’s phone and said.
“I expect you’ve heard the news. I’m going to miss her but I’m really happy for Lisa and Paul. She’ll be with you tomorrow evening…” She hesitated for a moment and then added quietly. “I wish it was me coming to meet you Daniel. I love you.”
Chapter Eight
June 2008
Carrie looped her hair up behind her ear as she bent over her desk, checking her final exam paper. She felt a strange sense of de-ja-vu creep over her and she looked up at the clock. There were only a few minutes to go of their morning exam. She sat up straight and looked over to the person next to her.
Craig Bellamy was swinging on the back two legs of his chair. His pens were lying beside his closed paper. He gave a quick grin and then winked when he saw Carrie looking at him. She rolled her eyes and he thumped the two front legs of the chair down again. The girl at the desk in front of him jumped violently and knocked her pens off the table. They clattered noisily to the floor and the invigilator came rushing up to sort out the commotion.
Carrie stuck her hand over her mouth to stop herself from laughing and Craig gave her another huge grin. Then the bell sounded and the man at the end of the hall spoke loudly, his voice echoing around the hall.
“Pens down everybody. Please remain seated and silent until all the papers have been collected.”
There was a great scraping of chairs as the door was opened and the A level students filed out, beginning to talk and compare notes on questions they had answered.
Craig caught hold of Carrie’s arm as they walked through the doors.
“Hey Carrie, how did it go?” His voice was open and friendly, smile firmly in place.
She smiled back.
“Okay, I think. I’m pretty good with history so I should be alright. What about you?”
He grimaced slightly.
“Probably scraped it. I always get the different treaties mixed up, but anyway all over now until our finals next year. What are you doing tonight? As that was the last exam until next year, we should go and celebrate.”
Carrie smiled at him, but shook her head.
“I can’t tonight Craig. I’m waiting in to hear news of my friend Lisa. She’s having a baby. She went to America with her boyfriend Paul, so there’s no way I can visit her. You probably remember him. He was in the rugby team here last year. Paul Edmonds?” She waited until he nodded. “He won a placement in Atlanta. Lisa’s one of my old dancing friends but she’s obviously given it all up while having Paul’s baby. It’s due any day now and I want to be there when she rings me. We’ve set up a web-cam link so she can show me her baby as soon as it’s born. Paul is over the moon about it.”
Craig looked a little revolted, but more disappointed.
“Blimey! He’s young to be a father! Oh well, he must have known what he was doing. I suppose it’s really nice for you and your friend, but won’t having babies have an effect on a dancing career? Is she getting back into it afterwards?”
Carrie shrugged.
“I don’t know if it’s that easy. She said that she might try some teaching, or maybe choreography but then there’s all the hassle of child care. I’m not sure I’d want to leave my baby with anyone else.” She thought about this for a moment and then looked back up at Craig. He had said something to her.
“…What about another time then?” He was steering her towards the entrance doors, but he caught hold of her arm again before they went any further and pulled her over to a long bank of lockers. He looked up quickly to see if there was anyone around and then spoke quickly.
“Look Carrie, I’ve been meaning to ask you for a while. I want you to come out with me. You know, not just on a date, but really go out together. I’ve liked you for ages.” He puffed out a great breath of pent up air.
Carrie looked into his hopeful blue eyes. He was lovely looking, but she just couldn’t feel that flipping sensation. She willed it to start, furious with herself when it didn’t. It was nine months since she had seen Daniel.
She should go out with Craig! She told herself. He is a really nice guy. Caring and clever. And here! She hesitated for a moment and saw Craig’s face fall a little. He was waiting for her response. She spoke quietly.
“Maybe just for a coffee. I don’t really date. I’m far too busy with the dancing.”
Craig’s worried expression brightened immediately as he realized that she wasn’t giving him the complete brush off.
“Great! A coffee is great. I don’t mind that, who knows, you may just enjoy it and want to come out with me some more.” His enthusiasm was infectious.
She laughed.
“You never know, but seriously Craig, I really don’t date. I’m on tour again this summer, and going by last year’s schedule I won’t have time to see you at all.”
He turned away from her for a moment and fished a key out of his jeans pocket. He stuck it in one of the lockers.
“That’s okay, having a coffee with you before you go will be nice. Perhaps we can pick up again in September.”
Carrie was about to nod when he opened the locker door. He rooted around for something and then pulled a book out from right at the bottom. A cloud of bright pink dust spilled out with the book and Craig shook it, sending pink dust motes everywhere.
“Sorry.” He said as she brushed the colour from her arm. “It’s a damn nuisance. There’s been something in here all year that just won’t go away. I didn’t notice it at first, but now it’s falling off the inside of the locker walls. It’s obviously dried on and flaking away when my books brush against it. I’ve asked to change lockers but there aren’t any other ones available.” He put another book into his bag and shut the locker door.
Carrie noticed the number on the outside. It was her old locker from the previous year. She had given it up herself when she had become fed up with the dried out pink foam still lingering in the locker’s metal seams.
For a moment she thought she was going to laugh, but then she remembered how Daniel had helped her with the mess, how his fingers had tangled in her hair and how his lips had smiled when he told her about his hopes. Her heart began to beat faster and she suddenly found it hard to breathe.
Craig looked down at her as she gasped in a gulp of air. Carrie’s eyes wandered up to his face. He was tall and good looking but nowhere near the size of Daniel or as handsome. His hair was dark but it wasn’t dark like Daniel’s, his eyes were blue but not as intense as Daniel’s, his voice wasn’t deep like Daniel’s. She began to choke. Craig wasn’t Daniel. There was no comparison, no stuttering heart, no flushing skin. Nothing at all.
Craig looked at her quizzically.
“Are you okay? You don’t think that stuff has given you some kind of asthma attack do you?”
Carrie shook her head.
“No.” She coughed to cover the strangled tone of her voice. She was thinking of Daniel the year before, as he had helped her with the goo. His beautiful dark hair, still damp from the shower, his straight, white teeth, his deep blue eyes and
soft voice. She remembered his huge hands mopping out the pink foam and the waft of aftershave as he had leaned over her, trying and failing to pull the silly string from her hair. She sighed deeply.
“This used to be my locker, Craig. Some idiot nicked my key and sprayed silly foam inside it half way through the term last year. It was everywhere. Daniel Lewis helped me clear it up. Obviously we made a terrible job of it. Sorry.” She felt a strange jolt in her stomach as she realized that she had been the one to suggest going out for a coffee with Craig. She looked back at his still hopeful face. Now she had thought of Daniel, it seemed a ridiculous thing to do. She didn’t want to go out with Craig. She didn’t want to go out with anyone but Daniel, however hopeless it was.
Craig brushed more pink powder from his books. He looked sideways at her.
“You mean that great lump of a bloke who now plays football out in America with that Paul? It was funny about him. I always thought he had an eye for you, and at one point I thought it was him doing all that bullying stuff just to get himself noticed by you. I don’t suppose he needs to now though. You can’t help noticing him or his mate. They must be raking it in with that massive Atlanta contract. Ten million dollars for his first year! Incredible!”
Carrie opened her eyes wide at the two new bits of information.
She had never suspected Daniel of sabotaging her at school. He had been the one who was always around to clear up afterwards. Craig must have made a mistake. And Lisa had certainly failed to mention ten million dollars in their last phone call. If Daniel was earning that much, then Paul probably was too. No wonder she hadn’t said anything about going back to dancing. She obviously didn’t need to. Carrie turned away from Craig suddenly. She was going to have to go home and email Lisa immediately. She had to know what was going on.
“I’ll see you around Craig. I’ll let you know when Lisa has had her baby, and then I’ll see if I have time for that drink when I’m back from the tour, okay?” Carrie jogged out of the door feeling a little bit bad. There was no way she was going to go out with Craig, but at least she had bought herself some time. Maybe he wouldn’t be quite so interested in her by the end of the summer.
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