“So. I’ll call you later.”
Lily didn’t reply, nod, or even smile.
Jake took one step away from her door, and it closed firmly behind him. He heard several locks being put in place. And by the time he got to the stairwell, he was almost positive that Lily wasn’t thinking about him at all.
His driver was right in front of the building when he stepped out of the lobby. He slipped into the back seat and watched the street as the car sped away.
“Stop at the first liquor store you see,” said Jake.
The driver nodded and pulled over a few blocks later. By the time he got back home, Jake was comfortably smashed. Ian had to come down to the garage to help him up to the penthouse. He drank off and on for the rest of the day, skipping work and several meetings. That night, he called Lily. There was no answer. He called her several times throughout the night. She never picked up or called back.
The only sound in the hospital room was baby Reina babbling. Ras was slumped in an uncomfortable chair closest to the door, as if he wanted to be able to dash out at any moment. His legs were outstretched and crossed at the ankle. His eyes were shut and he looked like he was fast asleep, although he was far from it.
Josephine refused to sit, no matter how many times Ras told her she was making him nervous. She stood up, her back to Ras, playing soundlessly with the baby in her crib. She covered her eyes and then mouthed the words peek-a-boo over and over as the baby giggled. Next to the crib, Alex sat, her eyes on the ceiling. Ras had no idea why she insisted on coming to the hospital, but he hadn’t been able to stop her. He was so grateful that she had helped him find Amelia and David that he didn’t put up any kind of fight. Ras opened his eyes and took a quick look at Amelia. She sat facing the window, her back toward everyone in the room. The doctor had told her she could wait in another room until the blood test was completed. But she insisted on meeting Ras, Josephine, and the baby. Ras had been petrified. What if she took one look at Reina and decided she wanted her baby back? Even though it would be legally impossible, Ras didn’t want Josephine to deal with any kind of drama. She’d been through enough. Alex cleared her throat and everyone turned around and looked at her.
“Sickle cell is not a death sentence,” Alex said. “I have a cousin who was diagnosed at about this age.”
Josephine nodded. Ras and Amelia were silent.
“The doctor said as long as she can get regular transfusions with the right blood type, she’ll be fine.”
Josephine kept her eyes on the baby but turned her head slightly to speak.
“Hopefully, Amelia will be willing to donate . . .” she whispered.
The young woman turned from the window and looked first at Josephine and then the baby.
“If I’m a match, I’ll donate every day if I have to!” the young woman said, her voice strained and high-pitched.
Josephine put her hand to her mouth and moved across the room. She hugged the woman tight. Josephine pulled back and then put her arms on the young woman’s shoulders.
“I want you to be a part of Reina’s life.”
The young girl shook her head.
“No,” said Josephine. “I mean it. When Reina first came to me, I wanted to pretend I gave birth to her and I never wanted to acknowledge your existence. But I feel differently now.”
Josephine stole a quick look at Ras and then turned back to Amelia.
“I’m going to be a single mother,” she said. “I want Reina to have as much support in her life as possible.”
“Don’t start this, Josephine,” Ras said. “Not right now.”
Josephine didn’t respond to Ras. She kissed Amelia on the cheek and went back to playing with the baby. Ras leaned back and closed his eyes again. First, he had to get Reina well, then he would work on getting his wife back. Ras thought about what Amelia said. If I’m a match . . .
“You have to be a match,” Ras said out loud. “They already tested David. He wasn’t AB negative. The doctor said it was a rare type and that one of her parents has to have it.”
Josephine nodded and looked over at Amelia.
“Well, then, that’s it. I’m a match,” she said softly, going back to her seat.
Ras felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up.
“Can I talk to you outside for a moment?” Ras asked. Amelia looked up at him, terrified. He held her gaze and then walked outside the room, holding the door open. Amelia walked out of the room and Ras grabbed her arm.
“That man who came here and got tested. Is he the father or not?”
“Yes!” Amelia said, twisting to get out of Ras’s grasp. “I told you I’ve only been with one man.”
“You’re lying. Who’s the father? And why aren’t we testing him?”
“Get off me!”
Amelia pulled away and walked quickly down the hallway. Ras thought about going after her but he didn’t want to make a scene. Alex poked her head out of the doorway and then came outside, closing the door behind her.
“What’s going on?”
“She’s playing with my daughter’s life,” said Ras, pointing at Amelia. “She knows something and she won’t tell me.”
“Let’s just wait for the results before we flip out,” said Alex. “She said she would help. I believe her.”
Ras paced the hallway, checking the time on his cell phone for no reason and stopping every so often to think. The worst part was that Ras didn’t even know what to obsess about. He just had this nagging, raw feeling that something was very wrong. It was more than just finding out that Reina was sick. She had a diagnosis and there was an encouraging treatment plan. That would work out. He was sure of it. As for his relationship with Josephine, it could very well be over. And though he hadn’t given up yet, Ras wasn’t worried about that either. What he felt was an unnamed dread. Something he knew would affect all of them—Josephine, Ras, and Reina. Nothing specific came to mind. Just the knowledge that it was Not Good. Ras watched a woman in athletic gear and running shoes walk toward him with a bulging folder of paperwork.
“Mr. Bennett?”
Ras nodded.
“I’m Dr. Campbell,” the woman said, holding out a hand to shake. “Excuse my appearance. I was on my way out when I was asked to look over your daughter’s results. Is your wife in the room?”
Ras couldn’t find words to answer. He was completely choked up and fearful about what this doctor was going to tell him. He just opened the door and waved her inside. Alex excused herself as soon as the doctor walked in. Josephine picked up Reina out of the crib and held her close, as if the doctor had come to take her away.
Dr. Campbell spread out papers across the empty bed and picked up one.
“Reina’s biological father is not a match,” said the doctor.
“So Amelia’s a match!” Josephine said. “She’s already promised us that she will donate blood as often as we need her to!”
Ras felt his eye begin to twitch. He walked over to his wife and grabbed her hand. He was certain she would shake him off. But she did not. She smiled, squeezed his hand, and then held it tight. The doctor looked down at the floor.
“We can’t use Amelia’s blood,” said the doctor.
“Why not?” Josephine whispered. “Is she . . . sick?”
“We can’t use it because Amelia is not a match either.”
“That’s not possible!” Josephine said, looking from the doctor to Ras. “What are you talking about?”
Ras wrapped an arm around Josephine’s shoulders.
“Dr. Campbell, can you just please be straight and tell us what you’re trying to say.”
“Amelia is not Reina’s mother.”
A heavy pulsing started spreading across Ras’s forehead. He couldn’t hear anything the doctor was saying, but he saw her lips moving. Ras felt as if he were shrinking, all the way down to a tiny dust speck at his wife’s feet. He tried to focus on breathing in and out. When he felt the blood rushing back throughout his body, he
opened his mouth to speak.
“My grandmother . . .” Ras said, trying to find his voice. “My grandmother told me that Amelia gave birth to my little girl in this very hospital a year ago. And now you’re telling me that’s a lie?”
“She did give birth to Reina here,” said the doctor. “I checked the records.”
Josephine clutched the baby and threw her head back, and screamed: “Then what the hell are you talking about?!”
The doctor jumped and Ras tried to calm Josephine down.
“Mrs. Bennett, I didn’t treat Amelia during her pregnancy. And I didn’t deliver Reina. I called the doctor who delivered your daughter, and we’re waiting to hear back.”
“What do you think is going on?” Josephine asked.
“I think Amelia was inseminated with a fertilized egg. She gave birth to this baby. But she did it for someone else.”
Josephine sat down hard on the closest chair and put her hand to her mouth. She closed her eyes and rocked back and forth for a few seconds and then stopped abruptly. Her eyes popped open and she looked at her husband.
“Find her,” she said to Ras.
Ras grabbed his jacket off the back of the chair and walked out.
Jake sat up in bed, his hands on his mouth to keep from throwing up. It was hot in the room, but he was shivering. He tried to call for Ian, but no words would come. It had been a full day since his last drink and his attempt to detox was not going well.
He tried to swing his legs over the side of the bed, but his hands were shaking so violently that he couldn’t support himself. He dropped back onto his back and stared at the ceiling. The room began to spin and he closed his eyes to stop it. His stomach flip-flopped and he leaned his head over the side of the bed and vomited. He expected to hear it hit the floor but when he looked over he noticed a plastic-lined pail on the floor next to his bed. It obviously wasn’t the first time he’d vomited that day.
He rubbed his hands over his face and then heard the door to his bedroom creak open. For a moment, Jake felt guilty about Ian having to clean up after him. He opened his eyes to apologize to him. But it wasn’t Ian.
The door opened completely and in walked Kipenzi, dressed in a T-shirt and cut-off jeans. She was there as clearly as everything in Jake’s bedroom. Jake blinked. Kipenzi was still there, her hands behind her, clutching the doorknob. Her hair was in a messy ponytail—no weave—and her face was flawless, clean and smooth without a drop of makeup. It was Jake’s favorite look for her—raw, natural, and everyday.
“Baby . . .” Jake croaked.
Kipenzi shook her head.
“What are you doing to yourself?” she asked, as she made her way to the bed. She sat down on the bed gingerly and took Jake’s trembling hand.
“I know you can stop drinking, Jake. I know you can beat this.”
“I don’t know if I want to,” Jake whispered.
“Can you do it for me? Can you just try for me?”
Kipenzi leaned over and kissed her husband’s forehead and then bent down and hugged him tight. Jake drank in her smell, a light blend of soap and baby lotion. That was one thing that had slipped away from him—her smell. He’d almost forgotten how wonderful she always smelled. And here she was, holding him.
“Can you stay with me?” Jake said.
“Of course, I will,” said Kipenzi, kissing him on the cheek and again on his forehead.
For an hour, Jake moaned, his head leaning on his wife’s shoulders. He threw up twice, the last time just bringing up bile and blood. Kipenzi stayed near, humming a song Jake didn’t recognize and holding him tight.
“I missed you so much,” Jake said.
“I know,” said Kipenzi. “I missed you, too.”
Jake’s throat closed up and he held his wife tighter and began to cry uncontrollably.
“How could you leave me, Kipenzi?”
Kipenzi didn’t answer. She continued rocking him and holding him tightly to her chest.
Jake’s stomach suddenly lurched and he pushed Kipenzi over so that he could throw up again. Kipenzi stayed nearby, rubbing his back.
“I’m sorry,” Jake said. “I don’t want you to see me like this.”
“Please,” Kipenzi said. “You think I haven’t seen worse from you?”
Jake smiled weakly.
“You have to shake this off,” Kipenzi said, still rubbing his back. “You can’t destroy yourself like this.”
“If you’re not here,” Jake said, “then I don’t want to be here either.”
“What are you talking about? I am here. And I’m not going anywhere.”
Jake turned away from Kipenzi and stared at the bedroom wall.
“Look at me, Jake.”
Jake shook his head. He couldn’t take the intensity of the feelings that came with Kipenzi sitting right next to him. He’d dreamt nightly about seeing her again. And now here she was, as clear as a bell.
“Are you going to spend the rest of your life like this?” Kipenzi asked.
“Like what?”
“Mourning. Drinking yourself to death. Sleeping with anything that moves.”
Jake fell silent.
“Jake, I didn’t just marry you for who you are. I married you for the man I know you could and would be. What you’re doing right now? You’re not honoring me. You’re disrespecting me. Don’t downplay what we had by invalidating it now that things have changed. We’re not divorced, Jake. I’m just dead.”
Jake opened his mouth to speak and a chill went through his entire body. He closed his eyes. When he opened them up again, Lily sat next to him on the bed, her hands on his hands, replacing Kipenzi’s hands that were there, in the same exact spot, seconds before.
“What happened?” Jake asked.
“I think you were hallucinating. You were talking to me as if I were Kipenzi. I think that happens when you’re detoxing.”
“Lily, you have to get me something to drink. Anything. Immediately. Please.”
“I can’t,” said Lily. “I promised you I would get you out of this. And you’re almost there.”
“I don’t want to be there. I just want you to get me something to drink.”
Lily shook her head vigorously.
“You called me. And I came. And now I’m not going anywhere.”
Jake rolled out of his bed, steadied himself on his feet, and pushed Lily away.
“I’m not responsible for what happens if you don’t go.”
Lily crossed the room, sat down on a loveseat under a window, and crossed her arms over her chest.
“I’m staying and I’m going to help you whether you want me to or not.”
Jake tried to remain standing and found that it was too difficult. He got back in the bed and tried calling out for Ian. He slept off and on, waking up sometimes to vomit and sometimes to scream out his wife’s name. Hours later, he slept. When he woke up, Lily was still there, sitting on the loveseat and reading a magazine. There was a knock on his door and he stood up.
Jake limped over to his bedroom door and opened it. Ian stood on the other side with a breakfast tray.
“Mr. Giles,” Ian said, “I didn’t expect you to be up yet. Good to see you walking.”
“I need a drink, Ian. Now. Bring me whatever we have from the bar.”
Jake turned away and started walking back to his bed.
“There’s nothing here, sir.”
Ian’s eyes darted over to where Lily sat and then he quickly looked back at Jake.
“What’d you do?” he asked Lily.
“There’s no liquor in the house,” said Lily.
Jake summoned all the energy he had—which was not much—and charged across the room, snatching Lily up by her shoulders.
“I’ll stop drinking when I’m good and ready.”
With his hands squeezing Lily’s shoulders, Jake clenched his teeth and stared her down.
“Ian, get me something to drink right now,” said Jake, not taking his eyes off Lily.
>
“Yes, sir,” Ian said. He set the breakfast tray down on Jake’s bed and quickly left the room, closing the door firmly.
Jake let go of Lily’s arms and clutched his side, a stabbing sensation kept him from standing up straight. He limped to the bed and sat down.
“Abdominal cramps are part of the process, too,” said Lily.
Jake tried to keep himself from throwing up again.
“When Ian comes back, I’m getting drunk as fast as I humanly can.”
“Look at your hands,” Lily said, pointing.
Jake looked down.
“They’re not moving,” Jake said, more to himself than to Lily.
“And you haven’t thrown up in over an hour,” said Lily. “You’re almost there.”
“I’m not ready to stop drinking, Lily,” he said. “But thank you for trying.”
“Wash your face,” Lily said, pointing to the bathroom. “You’ll feel better.”
Jake went to the sink while Lily stood behind him in the doorway.
“Ian is going to bring you some alcohol. But you don’t have to drink it. You can beat this.”
Jake focused on brushing his teeth. He rinsed, spit, and then turned to face Lily.
“When I want to see you,” Jake said. “You disappear. I call you. You never call me back. And when I don’t want to see you, you won’t leave. What is that about?”
Lily looked down at the floor and then raised her eyes to meet Jake’s.
“Can we focus on the fact that I’m here now?”
“No,” Jake said. “We can’t.”
Jake threw his toothbrush into a cup on the sink and dried his face with a towel. He moved past Lily and sat down on the edge of his bed. Lily sat down next to him and crossed her legs underneath her.
Jake held out his hand. It was moving, slightly. But it wasn’t shaking violently anymore. Jake took his hand and put it on Lily’s cheek. He bent down and kissed Lily on the mouth, slowly at first.
Lily pushed him away when Jake tried to ease her back onto the bed.
“I don’t want to do this,” she said, shaking her head.
Jake stood up.
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