James was saying something, but she couldn’t focus. She became aware of the smells in the dimly lit hall. The garlicky Caesar salad, the cloying scent of flowers, the rich smell of James’s cologne, all mingling into one noxious odor. Her stomach spasmed.
The band played the last notes of the song, and before they struck up another, Jade stepped back. “I think I need a breather.” She smiled, trying for casual despite the desperation that clawed at her. “Be right back.”
She started for the hallway, her feet picking up the pace as the clock ticked down. She wove past dancing couples, her aching feet long forgotten. Maybe the restroom would be empty. Please, God.
She turned into the hall in time to see a flash of ivory disappear into the ladies’ room. Her mom. She couldn’t go in there. She continued down the hall and spied the back door, propped open with a wooden wedge. She swallowed hard against the urge to vomit and pushed the metal bar.
Before it fell shut, she ran to a five-gallon container by the Dumpster and emptied her stomach. She tucked her dress between her legs and hoped for the best. How could one little baby cause so much upheaval? Sweat beaded on her forehead and back, making the dress cling to her skin.
When she was finished, she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, wishing desperately for a hankie. She set her trembling hands on her knees, catching her breath.
The door behind her swung open, the light from the hall intruding. Jade turned, straightening.
Daniel came out, letting the door fall behind him. “Jade? You okay?”
She tried for a smile. “I’m fine.”
He advanced. “I saw you rush out. What happened—” His eyes found the bucket. Lit by the buzzing fluorescent light over their heads, there was no hiding the contents. Or his reaction.
“You’re sick.” He tipped over an empty box and guided her to it. “Sit down.”
“I must’ve eaten something . . .” How many lies was that now?
He removed his jacket and set it around her shoulders. “Stay here. I’ll be right back.”
The music grew louder as he disappeared through the door. Great. Just great. What if he brought back PJ or her mom? She should’ve stopped him. The wedding was over, but this wasn’t the way she wanted the announcement to go.
A minute later Daniel returned alone with a damp paper towel and a cup of water. She stood, rinsing her mouth, careful of her dress while Daniel pitched the five-gallon bucket into the Dumpster.
“Better?” he asked when she’d finished wiping her mouth.
She nodded. “Thanks.”
“I can get your mom . . .”
“No! I mean, I’m fine now. I don’t want to spoil the fun. Besides, I’m supposed to help put the hall back to rights when this shindig’s over.”
“You should go home and lie down.”
“I’m fine. Really.” She smiled for good measure. “Whatever I—ate—is gone now.” True enough. She turned back to the building. “I should get back to James.”
“How’s that going?”
“So far so good. You have great taste in men.”
He held the door open for her. “Thanks. I think.”
One-and-a-half long hours later, James opened the passenger door of his Buick for her. She got in, setting her purse on her lap. Her feet killed her, her throat stung with acid, and she felt like she could sleep for a week straight. But at least her date had gone well. James was the kind of man she was looking for. And bonus: his left-brained wiring meant he was less given to romantic whims and emotional overtures.
They’d seen Madison and Beckett off, the truck decked out with enough flowers and tulle to make Beckett scowl playfully. They were on their way to Louisville where they’d spend the night before flying to the Outer Banks.
“So how are your parents feeling about marrying off their first child?” James asked as he turned the ignition.
Ryan had actually been the first. But things with Abby had ended badly, had ended in their family’s first divorce.
“They’re thrilled. Mom’s already hinting about grandbabies.” Little did she know Jade had jumped the gun. Would they be disappointed in her?
“I’ve already warned my parents not to expect any from me. They haven’t given me too much flak about it.”
Caught up in her own thoughts, she almost missed it. But the words rewound in her head and played back.
“You don’t want kids?” She strove for a casual tone.
“Never have. It might sound crazy, being a schoolteacher and everything, but I can’t imagine being a dad. I like having kids during the day and coming home to peace and quiet. There’s not much of that with parenthood, from what I hear.”
He tossed her a smile. Her own felt stiff. So much for James being her perfect match. Her baby deserved a willing father. And okay, James deserved to get what he wanted out of life too. And that obviously wasn’t a kid—much less someone else’s.
They made conversation on the short ride to the house, Jade’s thoughts drifting. Madison had paid rent through the middle of the month. After that Jade was moving into a studio apartment on the edge of town. She had between now and then to come up with the deposit. It wasn’t her dream home, but it was a step in the right direction. Someday she’d have a real home with a fenced-in yard where her little one could toddle around safely.
As they walked to her door, Jade thought of what she’d say. Might as well end it now. She wouldn’t do either of them any favors by stringing him along.
She turned on her porch, glad they had only the moonlight to see by.
“I had a nice time.”
“Listen, James.”
They spoke at the same time.
He gave a wry grin. “Uh-oh. That didn’t sound good.”
She hated this. He seemed like a nice guy. It was too bad.
“It’s the D my dad gave you, isn’t it?” he said.
She smiled at his attempt to lighten the mood. “I’m sorry. You’re really terrific. I was totally planning on going out with you again if you asked, but—”
“The kid thing’s a deal breaker, right?”
“I’m sorry.” He had no idea how sorry.
“I understand.”
After an awkward good-bye hug, Jade let herself in. She let Lulu out back and got ready for bed. The house was quiet—too quiet with Madison gone. She was hungry after losing her meal, but too tired to eat. Besides, there was no guarantee it would stay down.
Daniel settled back on his pillow. It had been hard watching Jade and James all night. The guy had cleaned up better than he’d expected, and Jade looked too comfortable in his arms. Honestly, Daniel hadn’t thought they’d connect. Had thought Jade would find him boring.
He remembered her all those years ago, spinning in the yard with the fireflies, skirt twirling around her legs. That girl would’ve found James boring. Daniel wasn’t sure where that girl, the one dancing with fireflies, had gone. He missed her.
He closed his eyes, picturing the way she’d looked tonight. Beautiful. Long hair falling in waves past her bare shoulders, her green eyes sparkling under the dim lights. The silver dress had hugged her curves and swirled around her calves. He’d hardly been able to take his eyes off her.
He’d argued with himself half the night about whether or not to claim a dance. It would be the sweetest kind of torture, having her in his arms. But when she’d smiled at something James had said during the middle of a fast song, he’d made up his mind. Daniel wanted to be the one making her smile.
He’d been right about the sweet torture, though. She felt good in his arms, her delicate hands resting on his shoulders. Her hair smelled like oranges, blending with the exotic, spicy scent she always wore. It teased his senses. The dance had ended too soon.
Later when she’d dashed from the room, frowning, he’d known something was wrong. If James had said or done something to upset her, the man was going to find himself on the wrong end of Daniel’s fist.
His phone b
uzzed with an incoming text.
MUCH BETTER. HOME AND IN BED. WEDDING WENT GREAT, DIDN’T IT? HAPPY FOR SIS.
Daniel punched in a response. YES, GOOD DAY. HOW’D DATE END UP?
HE DOESN’T WANT KIDS—DEAL BREAKER!!!
Relief swelled inside. Daniel chided himself. He should want what was best for Jade. Would he have her go through life alone just because he couldn’t have her?
He tapped in a response. WHAT? HE’S A TEACHER.
APPARENTLY 8 HRS A DAY IS ENOUGH.
SORRY! JUST ASSUMED . . .
LIKE YOU SAID, NOT LIKE YOU CAN INTERROGATE THEM. THINK YOU CAN FIND SOMEONE ELSE?
He scowled. Nothing like getting right back in the saddle. NO PROBLEM—WHO WOULDN’T WANT TO DATE YOU? He reread the text and deleted it. He wanted to tell her the man who was perfect for her was right here, texting her. SURE. WILL GET BACK WITH YOU SOON, K?
He should have been over her by now. She’d been gone a year—how long could a guy carry a torch for someone oblivious to him? Not oblivious. She was aware he existed. Unfortunately he was in the friend zone. No, worse. The brother zone.
He checked his screen. Nothing.
JADE?
He was tired of hiding his feelings. Sometimes he wished he could change them back. Sometimes he wished that he’d just said it on that day all those years ago. Just put it out there and let the chips fall where they may.
She’d been eighteen, and he’d been teaching her to drive a clutch. All the McKinleys had put her off, and Aaron didn’t know how. She’d gotten the vehicle for a song, never mind that she couldn’t drive it.
The car had stalled again as Jade released the clutch too quickly.
She sighed. “I’m never going to get this.”
“Yes, you will. Push the clutch in and turn the key. Okay, now shift into first and ease off the clutch as you press the gas. Good. Easy . . . find the sweet spot.”
The car shuddered, then stalled. She hit the steering wheel with her palm. Her jaw twitched as she clenched her teeth and tried again.
This time she made it into first gear, into second, stalling as she tried to shift into third.
“Much better. You’re getting it.”
“Thanks for doing this,” she said as she started the car. “Dad makes me a nervous wreck. I’m surprised there aren’t holes in the dashboard from his fingers.”
Daniel laughed. “Still does that, huh? Okay, try again. Let’s see if we can make it all the way to the end of the street.”
Jade shot him a look. She’d recently added a green streak to her hair that matched her eyes perfectly. It was threaded in and out of the braid that fell past her shoulder.
She did make it to the stop sign and only stalled again when she was turning. After that she drove flawlessly around the country block, passing her dad’s cornfields and long gravel lanes before arriving back at the McKinleys’ place.
At the house she hopped out of the car and pulled him into an embrace. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”
Daniel put his arms around her. He was suddenly aware of her body. Of the way she fit against him. Of the way she smelled, sweet and spicy, the way his hands fit into the curve of her waist.
Not only aware, he thought, as something flared inside of him.
Come on, man. This is Jade. Little Jade. Squirt.
But as she waved good-bye, tossing a smile over her slender shoulder, she didn’t look like little Jade anymore. She looked like a beautiful young woman. And in the weeks to follow, he couldn’t seem to take his eyes off her. Couldn’t seem to stop thinking about her. Until it seemed she consumed his every thought.
It was pointless, he knew that. He was too old for her. She was in love with Aaron. Even if that wasn’t the case, Daniel’s parents would never approve. They put up with his association with the McKinleys—guilty for not being there to raise him, he’d always figured. But they had his future all planned out, and it didn’t include a small-town life or a girl like Jade.
Not to mention the fact that she’d drop over in horror if she knew his thoughts. If she knew he pictured her when he closed his eyes at night and dreamed of a world where he was more than just her honorary brother.
So he looked the other way when Aaron held her hand, when he drew her into an embrace. He took solace in his semesters at college and held his breath when he came home again only to find the couple still madly in love.
As graduation neared, Daniel had thought twice about settling in Chapel Springs, running for mayor, watching Jade start a life with someone else.
Then Aaron had died and all Daniel could do was offer comfort. But after months she didn’t bounce back, and Daniel was concerned. The sparkle was gone from her eyes. She was quiet and withdrawn. She stopped playing guitar at the coffee shop, stopped teaching, and moved in with Madison. He rarely saw her unless he sought her out.
After a while she seemed to step back into her life, but something was missing. That’s when he’d started sending the notes. It was only going to be one note, just a little encouragement to remind her how special she was. But then he’d left another and another. Her family began teasing her about her secret admirer. He was terrified of being caught. But he’d been careful, disguising his handwriting and leaving the notes only when he was certain he could get away with it.
He missed leaving her those notes and flowers, he realized now. He tried to be an honest guy, and everything about hiding his feelings seemed wrong. The notes had corrected that.
When Jade left town, they’d lost touch. Then last fall Madison had put two and two together and realized Daniel was Jade’s secret admirer. She’d promised not to give him away, and with Jade gone, it didn’t seem to matter anymore.
But now she was back, and he prayed Madison would continue to keep her word.
He checked his phone, but no new messages appeared. It appeared Jade had drifted off right in the middle of their conversation.
CHAPTER EIGHT
“JADE, PHONE CALL,” SIDNEY SAID. “IT’S YOUR BROTHER, said it’s an emergency. You can take it in my office.”
Jade handed the empty cup to her coworker. “Americano, three shots, heavy cream.” She left the counter, trying to quell the unease in the pit of her belly. Madison and Beckett were flying home from their honeymoon today. Surely nothing had happened to them.
She shrugged off the dark thought. Ryan’s car probably gave out or something. Tonight was their weekly barbecue, the night she’d been waiting for since she’d returned. Finally she could tell them about the baby.
The thought of coming clean now far outweighed the dread of her parents’ disappointment. She was weary of hiding her illness, her fatigue, her growing belly.
She found the phone on her boss’s cluttered desk and took it to the doorway. “Hey. What’s up?”
“Sorry to bother you at work. It’s Mom. Dad brought her into the ER a little while ago. She had a backache and was sick to her stomach. They think it might be her heart.”
Jade pressed her palm against her own heart. “Oh, no.”
“I’m at the hospital now. They’re running some tests—”
“I’ll be right there.”
“Dad’s with her, and they’re not letting anyone else back there.”
“I don’t care, I’m coming. Have you called Grandpa and PJ and Daniel? Oh, no, what about Madison?”
“Grandpa knows. I’ll call PJ and Daniel next. I think we should wait until Madison and Beckett land in Louisville. They can’t get here any faster anyway.”
Twenty minutes later Jade entered the ER. She wasn’t the only one who’d insisted on coming. Daniel was already sitting beside Ryan. They stood as she approached.
“Any news?”
Ryan shook his head. “PJ will be here soon.”
Jade sat between the men, toying with the cloth strap of her purse. Time dragged, the minutes on the utilitarian wall clock ticking by in slow motion. In the corner, Sesame Street played on the wall-mounted TV.
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Ryan’s eyes were closed. Probably deep in prayer. Jade stopped to whisper one of her own, memories of her last trip here heavy on her heart.
PJ entered an eternity later, sitting on the other side of Ryan. She kept up a constant stream of babble. Jade’s sister cooked when she was anxious. In lieu of rolling pins and whisks, talking sufficed. Jade couldn’t focus on the words, so Ryan became the sounding board by default.
Jade couldn’t imagine her mom having a heart attack. Her cholesterol was high, but she was otherwise healthy. She was the one who never got sick.
Daniel set his hand on Jade’s, stilling it. “She’s going to be fine.”
“You don’t know that.”
“She’s a strong woman.”
Jade drew strength from his steady blue gaze. He looked so sure. Please, God. I know it’s been awhile, but You have to let her be all right. She couldn’t imagine it any other way. Mom was the heart of their family. Do You hear me, God?
Remembering something, Jade sucked in a breath, looking at Daniel. “She had a backache last month, at the house. And fatigue, remember? I sent her to bed.”
Daniel squeezed her hand. “Jade.”
“Those were early signs. Why didn’t I—”
“Stop it. Even if it was related, Mama Jo wouldn’t have come to the ER. Even this morning your dad had to insist, and she was ready to pass out.”
What nobody had mentioned was Grandma. She’d had a heart attack in her fifties. The second one had taken her life.
The ER door opened, and Dad came through. The group met him in front of the vending machines. He looked tired and older under the harsh fluorescent lights. PJ curled against his side, resting her head on his shoulder.
“Any news?” Ryan asked.
“It was a heart attack for sure. We’re still waiting for some tests to come back to find out the extent of it.”
Daniel’s hand settled on Jade’s shoulder. “What are they doing for her?”
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