He clenched his teeth together, swallowed hard. He had to get a grip. Maybe he felt like busting a hole in his living room wall, but Jade didn’t need that right now. He drew in a deep breath, then another.
She shuddered on a cry, and his heart cracked in two. How could You let this happen, God? She didn’t deserve this. No one does. I don’t know how to help her. I don’t have a single clue.
He tightened his embrace. She felt so small in his arms. So tiny and helpless. He wanted to protect her, but it was too late for that, wasn’t it? He hadn’t been there when she needed him. It was irrational, but a seed of guilt wedged in anyway, sprouting roots.
Focus, Dawson. Think.
She’d faced that nightmare alone. Discovered she was pregnant. No wonder she’d come home. She needed her family. She needed him. She was carrying that monster’s baby.
Babies.
How had she come to grips with that? How had she carried this secret for almost five months without a whimper of complaint?
No wonder she hadn’t wanted to talk about the father. No wonder she hadn’t been eager to tell her family.
And yet he recalled the way she stroked her belly when she thought no one was watching. The way her eyes lit when she heard the heartbeats. The way she’d frozen in joy when she’d felt them move the first time. Somehow she’d worked through the pain and decided to give them life, to raise them on her own. She’d found a way to love those babies despite the circumstances. Was it any wonder he loved her?
When her sobs turned to sniffles, he stroked his thumb along her cheek, wiping the remnants of tears. He set his chin on her head and sighed.
“Can you talk about it?” he said softly. “Did you report it?”
She shook her head, to which question he wasn’t sure.
“I was so stupid,” she whispered. “I invited him over. Izzy was supposed to be there, but she was called into work. I should’ve cancelled or met him somewhere, but I didn’t. And like an idiot, I let him refill my drink. He must’ve slipped something in it and—”
He framed her face, holding her gaze firmly. “This was not your fault.”
“I was so stupid.”
“Not. Your. Fault.”
A tear slipped out and ran under his thumb. Her lower lip trembled.
“There’s only one person to blame. Understand?”
She gave a little nod, stilling her lip with her teeth.
“Who was he? What’s his name?” He worked for a neutral tone even as he swore he was going to hunt him down and make him pay.
She shook her head. Had she read his intent?
“Nick something.” Her face crumpled. “I didn’t even know his last name. So stupid!”
“Don’t.” He wished he could laser the truth into her heart.
Her fingers curled into his shirt at his waist. “When I found out I was pregnant . . .”
She must’ve been devastated. He hated that she’d been so alone. “Did you tell Izzy?”
She nodded. “I couldn’t keep it from her. She really held me together. I was a mess for a while.”
Of course she was. She’d been raped. A lot of women would’ve had an abortion. Or she could’ve given the babies up for adoption and never told anyone.
“You’re so strong, Jade. You’re amazing.”
She shook her head. “I was so afraid. I still am.”
“And you’ve gotten through it anyway. That’s called courage.”
“I lie awake at night, scared he’s going to come back.” Her voice quivered. “I know that’s stupid. He doesn’t even know where I am. That’s why I freaked about that note in my mailbox.”
The note. Daniel gritted his teeth. He wanted her to know it was harmless. That the sender would sooner cut off his own arm than harm her. But he couldn’t do that without telling her the truth. And she had enough on her plate without adding to it.
“I know the notes started a long time ago,” she said. “And it’s absurd to think he’s been sending them all along. But these days, I’m feeling a little crazy.”
“You’re not crazy. You suffered a trauma. You need to talk about it, maybe even to a professional.”
She jerked back, looking up at him, fear in her eyes. “You can’t tell anyone, Daniel.”
She was carrying too much. “Secrets lose their power when they’re shared, Jade. You need to—”
“No, Daniel. Mom’ll have enough stress dealing with the pregnancy, twins no less. I’m afraid the rest of it would be too much for her right now.”
“It’s so like you to worry about others.” He sighed. “I don’t like it. But it’s your decision. I won’t tell.”
“Promise.”
“I promise.”
Her shoulders relaxed, her face softened.
“But you’re going to have to deal with it eventually. These things have a way of creeping back up. You can always talk to me. Or Izzy.”
He brushed the remaining tears from her face. Even with her eyes swollen and her wet lashes clumped together, she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen.
She smoothed his dampened T-shirt, her eyes following her hand.
He felt the touch down to his toes. His muscles clenched.
“I’m carrying his babies, keeping them.” She met his eyes, and he thought for the millionth time that God had invented that shade of green just for her.
“Is that crazy? What if every time I look at them, I see his face? What if I can’t love them?”
He touched her cheek. “You already do.”
Her brow smoothed, her lips softened. “Yeah, I do. I know that sounds impossible.”
“It sounds amazing, just like you.”
She pulled back with a little smile. “You’re sweet, and I slobbered all over your shirt.”
“What’s a little snot?”
She gave a wobbly smile, wiping the remnants of makeup from under her eyes. It only smeared. “I should let you go. It’s getting late, and it’s a long drive to Indianapolis.”
He didn’t want her driving when she was upset. Hated that she had to go back to that cavernous store and worry herself to sleep. Or did she?
“Stay here tonight.”
She looked at him.
The thought grew on him. “The bed’s comfy, I have a TV, and God knows it’s secure enough.” Grandma had insisted he arm the place like Fort Knox once he’d become mayor. Because Chapel Springs’ politicians had to worry about being assassinated and such.
“Really?”
He shrugged. “Why not? Bed’s just going to go empty all night. I have a top-of-the-line mattress, and there are bacon and eggs in the fridge. You need a good night’s rest—big day tomorrow.”
“That it is.” Her eyes drifted across the room as if weighing her options.
He suddenly wanted her to stay more than he could say. Wanted to know she was safe and secure tonight. Wanted to lie in his hotel bed imagining her curled up in his bed, his scent on the sheets.
When he returned, his pillow would smell of her. Bonus.
“All right,” she said. “I’ll stay. Thanks.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“YOU GONNA EAT THAT?” PJ EYED JADE’S PLATE FROM ACROSS the picnic table. She looked gorgeous in the golden light of the sunset. Of course, PJ always looked gorgeous.
Jade handed over the burger. “Have at it.” Though her morning sickness was long gone, her stomach had been churning since she arrived at her parents’ house.
“Must be nice,” Mom said.
“No kidding.” Madison forked a bite of salad. “I’ll have to run five miles tomorrow to work this off.”
“Wait’ll you’re our age.” Dad patted his almost flat belly. “You’ll have to run ten.”
Beside Jade, Madison groaned.
Beckett whispered something in Madison’s ear, making her giggle.
“It starts after the first pregnancy and gets worse from there,” Mom said.
“Thank you, Debbie Downer,” M
adison said.
Mom shrugged. “Just saying.”
“And we’re eagerly anticipating that first pregnancy,” Dad said, eyeing Madison and Beckett.
“Thomas!”
“Well, we are. Not trying to rush you, but grandchildren are the only thing left on my bucket list.”
Jade’s eyes bounced off Daniel’s beside her. Little did Dad know she’d be the one helping him reach that goal. She should say it now, while they were on the subject. Her heart rate accelerated, her tongue dried. She tried to draw strength from Daniel, from the warmth of his arm, the solid length of his leg against hers. She opened her mouth, the words on her tongue.
“A bucket list is supposed to include things you can achieve on your own,” Ryan said.
“What do you think the hints are for?”
PJ scooped a forkful of corn. “Smooth, Dad.”
“Where’s Grandpa?” Ryan asked.
“Went fishing with his friends.”
“So you’re headed back to work on Monday, Mom?” Madison asked.
“Doctor gave her the go-ahead this week,” Dad said.
“I am so ready. I miss my antiques.”
Her moment was gone. Jade closed her mouth. She met Daniel’s gaze, and he gave her a reassuring wink.
She’d slept so soundly in his bed last night. It was soft, and the smell of him had comforted her. She didn’t even remember falling asleep and had slept through her alarm. This morning she’d made a hearty breakfast, frying the bacon to extra crispy just the way she liked, and washed it down with a large glass of Tropicana.
Beckett scraped the last of the baked beans from the Pyrex bowl. Supper was winding down. She needed to tell them soon. She’d popped out so much this week, there was no missing the bump under her loose top. She’d been hiding behind the picnic table since her arrival. She didn’t dare get up or her body would make the announcement for her.
“Jade?” Mom said.
She blinked. Everyone was staring. “What?”
“PJ was saying you’ll be working for Daniel?” Mom said.
“When did that happen?” Dad asked.
Daniel pushed his plate back. “Just Monday when Betty Jean gave notice.”
Mom gave a sad smile. “I was sorry to hear about her daughter.”
Madison nudged Jade’s shoulder. “You even know how to type?”
“As a matter of fact, I do. This job is perfect for me.”
“Except for the whole tyrant boss thing.” PJ stuck her tongue out at Daniel.
“You’re a fast learner,” Madison said. “And you’re neat and tidy. You’ll hardly know she’s there, Daniel.”
Something flickered in Daniel’s eyes. His lips parted and closed. Jade wondered if he regretted offering her the job.
What offer, Jade? You begged for the job.
Under the table, Daniel nudged her leg. “I was surprised by Betty Jean’s announcement, but it’ll be okay. Sometimes what initially seems like bad news can be a gift in disguise.”
Perfect segue. All she had to say was, speaking of announcements . . . Then Dad’s face would fall, Mom’s forehead would furrow, and chaos would break loose.
“Betty Jean has to pare down her belongings,” Mom said. “She’s giving the church a ton of things for the rummage sale.”
PJ kicked Jade under the table. “You should come. There’ll be a lot of furniture.”
“Your apartment must be half-empty,” Dad said.
Completely empty was more like.
Mom tilted her head. “I’m sorry we haven’t been by to see it yet.”
“It’s fine,” Jade said around a mouthful of beans. She felt Madison’s eyes on her.
Thankfully, the conversation moved on to the play Madison was rehearsing for. The historical theater had burned to the ground last year and wasn’t yet rebuilt, so they were using the church. The conversation shifted to the River Sail Regatta. Madison and Beckett were entering again, but after winning last year, the bar was high.
Mom set her napkin on her plate and rested her elbows on the table. Almost everyone had finished eating. Jade was running out of time. In seconds Mom would stand, and everyone would follow her into the house with plates and empty bowls. Then most of them would meet on the court for a competitive game of HORSE.
Except Jade. She couldn’t go anywhere until she told them.
She felt Daniel’s eyes on her.
I know, I know.
Mom stood, gathering the dishes, and Dad joined her.
Jade’s heart beat up into her throat, throbbing. “Wait!”
Her parents looked at her expectantly. Everyone stilled at her tone, looking her way.
Jade swallowed hard. “Mom, Dad, could you sit back down? I—I have something I need to tell you.”
Oh, God, give me words. I don’t want to do this. Look at them. They’re going to be so disappointed.
Under the table, Daniel found her hand, grounding her.
Madison’s gaze dipped down, catching the gesture.
“I don’t know how else to say it, so I’m just going to say it.” She pulled in a breath and let it out. One of her babies chose that moment to do a little flip. “I—I’m pregnant.”
Daniel’s hand tightened around hers.
She couldn’t stop her eyes from drifting around the table. Mom first, for signs of stress. Her brow was furrowed. Was she okay? Was she flipping out? Not that Mom ever flipped out. She kept it inside, but that was even worse, right?
Dad’s arm settled around Mom’s shoulders. Jade avoided his gaze.
PJ’s lips had parted. Ryan’s expression went unchanged. Beckett stared at his empty plate.
Beside her, Madison’s eyes met hers, softening. Her gaze darted over Jade’s shoulder to Daniel, her lips pressing together, then back to Jade. What was that about?
“Well.” Mom tucked her short blonde hair behind her ear and tried valiantly for a smile. “Honey, this is . . .”
“A surprise,” Dad said.
PJ twisted her napkin. “I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone.”
“Congratulations.” Madison squeezed her other hand.
Jade clung tight to Daniel. She wondered if he knew how heavily she was leaning on him right now.
“I know it’s a shock. But I’m okay, and everything’s going to be fine. I have a good job now, and everything’s on track.”
“What about the father?” Dad said.
“Thomas.”
“Well, he has some responsibility here.”
She leaned into Daniel, needing his solid strength. Madison shot him a look that he missed.
“The father’s out of the picture. I’m doing this on my own.”
“Well, that’s not fair,” PJ said.
Mom gave PJ a look. “Let’s save that for later.”
“How far along are you?” Madison asked.
“Five months.” Jade smoothed her hand over her rounded stomach, wondering at Madison’s frown.
“My goodness!” Mom said. “So far! I thought I noticed a little weight gain, but I thought—why didn’t you tell us?”
“I was going to after the wedding, then you had the heart attack and . . .”
“Oh, honey. You were worried about my stress? I wish you’d told us. I hate the thought of you going through those months alone.”
“Daniel figured it out early on. And Izzy knows. I haven’t been alone.”
Mom gave Daniel a smile and stretched her arm over the table, clasping Jade’s hand. “We love you, and we’re behind you all the way.”
“I’ll babysit when I’m home from school,” PJ said.
Madison gave her a smile. “We all will.”
Dad looked at Mom. “We’re going to be grandparents,” he said as if it just dawned on him. “We’re having a grandbaby.”
“Um . . .” Jade glanced around the table, wishing she could brace them for the next news. Then again, she’d had no warning either. “Actually . . . I’m having twins.”
Someone gasped, then all movement, all sound stopped. The crickets ceased their chirping, the breeze stilled, and the evening clouds seemed to freeze in the sky.
“Did you just say—?”
She winced. “Yep.”
Everyone started talking at once, asking questions, making comments, and the chaos was officially underway.
Daniel plugged in his cell and flopped into bed. He’d been nervous for Jade all day, and he’d only been more nervous when he’d shown up at the McKinleys’ and seen her pale face and trembling hands.
She’d done it, though. The secret was out. He’d wanted to talk alone afterward, maybe follow her to the store, but her sisters and mom kept her until the moon had risen high in the sky.
She had other people to lean on now. It was what he’d wanted. Right?
He flipped over on his pillow and caught a whiff of Jade’s spicy perfume. He nuzzled into the pillow and inhaled again, filling his lungs with her.
Was she really okay? Her family seemed to take the news well, but he’d been on the court with the guys after supper, so he’d missed some of the conversation.
He grabbed his phone and punched in a text. YOU OKAY? I THOUGHT IT WENT WELL.
He sent the text and waited. Maybe she was asleep already. He remembered what she’d said about her difficulty sleeping, her fear. Was she staring into the darkened shadows of the store, afraid?
A text dinged in. ME TOO. THANKS FOR BEING THERE.
WELCOME. MAMA JO SEEMED TO HANDLE IT WELL.
HARD TO TELL. WOULDN’T LET ME KNOW IF SHE WAS STRESSED.
YOU WORRY TOO MUCH. SHE’LL BE FINE. WHAT WERE YOU GIRLS TALKING ABOUT AFTER SUPPER?
WOULDN’T YOU LIKE TO KNOW.
YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT HOW HOT I LOOK IN MY NEW ARMANI SHIRT, WEREN’T YOU?
THOUGHT YOU DIDN’T CARE ABOUT DESIGNER LABELS, MR. MONEYBAGS . . .
GIFT FROM MOM. GOTTA KEEP UP THE IMAGE.
VERY IMPORTANT FOR A FUTURE CONGRESSMAN.
DON’T THINK IT ESCAPED MY NOTICE THAT YOU DIDN’T DENY IT.
DENY WHAT?
THAT I LOOKED HOT.
OH, BROTHER. FINE, YOU WERE HOT. HAPPY?
ECSTATIC.
IS THERE AN EYE-ROLLING EMOTICON? :) HOW’D THE INDY THING GO?
Dancing with Fireflies Page 11