“They’re going to ask questions. Want to know when we fell in love and how I proposed and what our first kiss was like—I know how your sisters are.”
“We’ve loved each other forever, and I asked you to marry me, and . . . we’ll have to see how the first kiss goes.” The accidental one didn’t count. The heat in her ears flared again. She hoped they weren’t the color of tomatoes. She was conscious of his knee against hers, of her hand clasped in his. His touch made her skin hum.
“When will we tell them?” he asked.
She bit the inside of her mouth. At the barbecue? It was four days away, but maybe time was good. Give Daniel a chance to think things through, be certain. She wanted him to be sure.
“Friday? PJ will be home, so we could tell them all at once.”
He nodded, his eyes inscrutable. “They’re going to ask when.”
“A wedding date? What do you think?”
“I assumed you’d want to marry before the babies come?”
Did she? She hadn’t given it much thought, had thought it was a moot point. She was seven and a half months.
She shook her head. “I don’t think so. I don’t want to rush. And I’d really like to fit in a dress that doesn’t resemble a tent.”
He smiled warmly. “Whatever you want.”
He was so good to her. He’d be a wonderful husband and father. She was going to be the best wife he could ask for. She was going to spoil him like he deserved. But first she was going to be sure.
“Daniel, if you . . . if over the next several days you change your mind . . . I just want you to know it’s okay. I do love you, and that’s never going to change.”
He lifted the hand still held in his and kissed the tender flesh of her inner wrist. Gooseflesh skated down her arms.
“I won’t change my mind.” His words were a pact, the look in his eyes a signature on the dotted line.
She couldn’t tear hers away from his. They were so blue, so mesmerizing.
He leaned forward an inch. “Seal the deal?” he whispered.
Her pulse kicked up as her eyes darted to his beautiful lips, so full and nicely shaped. Would they be as soft as they looked? Would it be weird, kissing Daniel for real? Her thoughts flashed back to the accidental kiss, back to their night in the closet. She didn’t think so.
She shrugged. “My sisters will ask.” She leaned in, meeting him halfway. She was entering territory that could never be taken back. It should scare her senseless. But somehow the thought of not kissing him was worse.
Their lips met tentatively. The lightest of brushes. And yes. Yes, his lips were as soft as they looked. Pliable and warm as they caressed hers in a touch too delicate to make her shiver. Too gentle to shake her all the way to her core. And yet it did.
He made another pass as his scent filled her nostrils. Daniel. Familiar. She wondered if his hair was soft too, how the day’s stubble on his jaw would feel against the sensitive flesh of her palm. She fisted her hands in her lap, quaking with restraint.
He pulled away too soon. Could he hear her heart pounding in the quiet? See the flush of her cheeks?
His eyes questioned her.
She worked hard to school her features. “Not bad, Dawson. I think I can give a satisfactory report.” Somehow her voice was smooth and calm, not a hint of the desire that flared inside.
Satisfactory. Less than Daniel hoped for, more than he deserved.
He wished he could step inside Jade’s mind. It had been all he could do to pull away when he’d only wanted to deepen the kiss. When his fingers had ached to thread into her hair, skim the smooth planes of her face. He deserved a flipping trophy.
He had to go slow. There was too much at stake. He couldn’t scare her away. Already he was afraid his feelings were apparent in the reverence of the kiss, in the way he couldn’t tear his eyes from her beautiful face.
He cleared his throat. “You might want to sell it a little harder with your sisters.”
“I’ll take care of them, don’t you worry.”
But he did worry. He’d done little else today, this weekend. There was plenty to worry about.
She yawned, covering her mouth, then gave him a sheepish look. Her eyes looked sleepy, her skin pale. Was she getting enough rest?
He patted her pajama-clad leg, needing to touch her again. He could get used to this. “I should let you get to bed.”
Someone had to sleep. It wasn’t going to be him. He had so much adrenaline pumping through him, he didn’t know if he’d ever need sleep again.
She walked him to the door in her cute fuzzy slippers, her purple toenails sticking out. He turned at the door and pulled her into a careful hug, smiling at the way her belly pressed into him. He felt her breath against the curve of his neck and suppressed a shiver.
Voices sounded through the thin walls, someone shouting, an argument. She couldn’t feel very safe here. Not after what she’d been through. He didn’t want to leave her here alone. His arms tightened.
Soon, Dawson.
He dropped a kiss on her head and made himself let her go. “See you in the morning. Lock up behind me.”
“I will. Night.”
On the way home, his heart pounded. He could still feel Jade’s lips on his, still feel her pressed against him. He’d dreamed of that kiss for years. Tonight it had happened. Better yet, she was going to marry him. She was going to share a life with him.
She was going to be his.
The thought filled an aching hole inside, made his throat dry.
His.
His to touch. His to hold. His to make love to. Is this really happening, God? It seemed too good to be true.
She doesn’t feel the same as you.
The unwanted thought surfaced, but he pushed it firmly down. He didn’t want to think about that. She did love him. Maybe it wasn’t quite the same, but it was close enough. The closest he’d ever dreamed of having, and he was going to take it. He’d be a fool not to.
CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR
DANIEL PARKED BEHIND RYAN’S TRUCK AT THE MCKINLEY home. He and Jade had come directly from work.
He looked across the car at her. He didn’t know which of them he was more nervous for. “You ready for this?”
“Are you?” Jade asked.
“Asked you first.”
“They’ll be happy for us, you’ll see. If maybe a bit confused? We haven’t even dated. Maybe we should’ve dated.”
“We work together. We’ve known each other forever, which is kind of the purpose of dating.”
“True.” Her head swung to him, her beautiful green eyes widening. “A ring. I don’t have a ring.”
“We’ll tell them we’re shopping for one tomorrow. I want you to have what you want, anyway.”
“Okay. Okay, that’s good.”
He reached for the door handle. “Ready?”
She gave him a nod and got out.
Leaves crunched under their feet as they strolled toward the backyard, following the sounds of laughter, the smack of the basketball on the concrete pad. It wouldn’t be long and they’d be moving the party indoors for the winter. They’d replace basketball with board games and grilled burgers with roast beef or lasagna. And Daniel would be a part of the family. A real part.
Jade pulled her sweater against the cool October air. Daniel resisted the urge to wrap his arm around her. How quickly he’d begun thinking of her as his. He’d touched her frequently in the office this week. Because she needed to get used to it and because he couldn’t help himself.
They were the last to arrive. Ryan and his dad were playing two-on-two with Madison and Beckett on the court. Mama Jo lounged at the picnic table with Grandpa, chatting.
PJ stood on the sidelines cheering Madison on. She made a phantom shot as her sister put up a basket. “Girl power! Oh, yeah!”
Beckett high-fived Madison while Ryan grumbled about a foul.
These people were his family. How were they going to react to the news? He k
new they loved him. But Jade was blood. What if they didn’t think he was good enough for her?
“Hey, you two!” Mama Jo stepped out from the picnic table and embraced them. “Good week?”
Daniel met Jade’s gaze briefly as they nodded. They caught up with Grandpa and Mama Jo until Thomas proclaimed the burgers ready.
All at once, the table was full and tilting to the heavier side. Food was being passed, the conversation turning loud and erratic. Jade’s thigh pressed against his, and Daniel couldn’t focus on much else.
Would she bring it up? And when? They hadn’t discussed it, but surely she’d want to make the announcement.
At the other end of the table, Ryan and his dad talked about this year’s crop and the lack of rain, pulling Grandpa and Beckett into the conversation. The girls chatted about a reality TV show. He’d thought Jade was caught up in the conversation until her hand reached for his under the table.
His eyes met hers, an expectant expression on her face: Ready?
He tried for a confident smile, gave a slight nod.
Madison and Mama Jo burst out laughing at something PJ had said.
Daniel gave Jade’s hand a squeeze, then she released it, grabbing her fork. She clinked it loudly against her glass, cutting through the clamor.
“All right, everyone, I have an announcement to make.”
PJ leaned forward. “Oh, goodie, I love announcements.” She gasped, her eyes widening. “You’re having triplets.”
Madison gave PJ a look, elbowing her.
“Sheesh, PJ,” Ryan said.
PJ shrugged. “What?”
“For heaven’s sake.” Mama Jo turned to Jade. “Let the girl talk.”
“What’s this about, honey?” her dad asked.
“Well . . .” Jade looked at Daniel from the corner of her eye.
In the unnatural quiet he heard her rings click under the table as she fidgeted with them. He took her hand and held it tightly.
“Actually . . . uh, what I mean to say is . . . This is probably going to come as a . . . I know that . . . but this is . . .”
Jade turned to him, panic in her eyes.
“What she means to say,” Daniel said, still looking into Jade’s eyes, “is that we’re getting married.” He broke into a grin. He couldn’t help it. He was stoked, and he couldn’t care less right now who knew it.
The fear in Jade’s eyes cleared. Her shoulders relaxed.
Daniel’s gaze drifted around the table. Thomas’s brows creased as he looked between his daughter and Daniel. Mama Jo’s lips lifted, her hands coming to clasp against her heart. Ryan looked like he thought they were being punked. Grandpa helped himself to another ear of corn. Beckett stared at his plate, and Madison—was she giving Jade the stink eye?
“Huh?” PJ said.
Jade cleared her throat. “I know this might seem sudden—”
“Oh, honey, we’re so happy for you two. Aren’t we, Thomas?”
Jade’s dad opened his mouth, closed it again. Oh boy. Not good.
“Wait,” Ryan said. “What? When did this happen?”
Jade’s hand had grown cold and clammy. Daniel pulled it into both of his, warming it against his thigh. “We’ve been together a lot, obviously, with work.” He met Jade’s eyes. “One thing led to another and here we are.”
PJ looked between them, frowning. “So you guys are, like, a couple.”
“You’re quick on the uptake, sis,” Ryan said.
“Why didn’t someone tell me? You go away to college, and no one tells you anything.”
“None of us knew,” Ryan said.
Beckett nodded his chin toward them. “Congratulations, guys.”
“You’re getting married.” Her dad finally found his tongue.
“I think you make a beautiful couple. Just beautiful.” Mama Jo’s blue eyes went liquid. “You’ve always been like a son to us, Daniel. Now you’ll be our son-in-law. We couldn’t be happier, could we, honey?”
Thomas still had that glazed look. “Of course. Congratulations, you two.”
“Have you set a date yet?” PJ asked.
Jade looked at Daniel. “Uh, no, not yet.”
“But after the babies are born,” Daniel said.
“I prefer not to waddle down the aisle.”
“Well, wait at least six weeks after,” Mama Jo said. “Otherwise it won’t be much of a honeymoon.”
“Mom!” Jade’s cheeks flushed, going adorably pink.
Daniel, conscious of Thomas’s gaze, turned his eyes to his empty plate even as his mind went there.
“Let’s see the ring,” PJ said. “I hope you did us proud, Daniel.”
“No ring yet,” Daniel said. “We’re going shopping for one tomorrow.”
“He wanted me to pick it out.”
Talk turned to wedding plans. They wanted to keep it small and simple. A church ceremony, close friends and family.
Mama Jo went on about a wedding dress she’d seen in the window at a boutique in town. Daniel’s eyes swung to Madison. She wore a tight smile as she listened to Mama Jo. Her eyes flicked to Jade, her jaw clenching. What was with her? Why was she upset with Jade?
Madison’s eyes slid to Daniel. They softened momentarily before she looked down. Did this have to do with his feelings for Jade? Madison and Mama Jo were the only ones who knew.
And what if that came up? Right here, in front of everyone? In front of Jade?
An uneasy feeling swelled in his gut. He had to make them promise not to tell Jade. Madison had already promised, but that was before they were engaged. She’d assume Jade knew now that they were a couple.
There was no way he could let Jade find out. He’d become another Cody. There’d be no wedding, no marriage. Jade would never be his. Suddenly he had so much to lose.
He half listened to the conversation, his heart hammering. Why hadn’t he warned them in advance? One misplaced word and that was it.
The conversation dragged on. What was it with women and weddings? Endless talk of flowers and invitations ensued, Jade constantly reining them in. Small and simple, remember?
Madison slipped away from the table, disappearing into the house with a stack of empty plates. The other women were leaning in, deep in discussion about the wedding party. The men, bored with wedding talk, had resumed their conversation about seed and tractors.
Daniel squeezed Jade’s hand. “Be right back.”
He found Madison in the kitchen loading the dishwasher.
He set his plate in the sink. “Hey.”
She ran a glass under the faucet. “Hey. I guess I didn’t get to say congratulations.” She spared him a smile.
He leaned on the counter beside her. He didn’t have much time. Someone could come in any minute. “Jade doesn’t know how I feel.”
She set the glass in the dishwasher, pausing to glance over her shoulder at him.
“And you can’t tell her.”
“You should tell her, Daniel.”
“She doesn’t want me to love her.”
“Then why are you getting married?”
He looked her in the eye, his heart beating up in his throat. “Because it’s the only way I can have her.”
Madison’s eyes tightened. The brown in them went soft like melted chocolate. “This is crazy.”
“You’re missing all the fun.” Mama Jo appeared with a stack of plates.
Daniel moved aside as she set them in the sink.
“PJ’s trying to talk your fiancée into a four-course reception dinner—she’ll cook, of course.” Mama Jo seemed to pick up on the tension between them. “What’s going on?”
Madison scrubbed a plate, set it in the dishwasher, avoiding their gazes.
“She already knows,” Daniel told Madison.
“Knows what?” Mama Jo asked.
Daniel didn’t like the stubborn look on Madison’s face. “How I feel about Jade.”
Mama Jo laughed. “Of course I do. We all do—you’re getting
married, silly.”
Madison shut off the water, crossed her arms. “Jade doesn’t know Daniel’s in love with her. She’s marrying him for—practical reasons.”
Mama Jo’s face fell. “What?”
“He doesn’t want her to know how he feels,” Madison said.
“But . . . but why?”
He hated the disappointment on Mama Jo’s face, hated that he’d burst her bubble. Daniel took her hand. He had to convince her. This would never work otherwise. “I want to be with her. I want it more than anything. You know I love her.”
“Then tell her,” Mama Jo said.
Daniel shook his head. “She doesn’t want to be loved. Between losing Aaron and—” He caught himself just in time. Jade hadn’t told them about being raped. “Jade doesn’t want that. She wants a husband, a father for her babies. That’s all.”
Mama Jo’s eyes turned down at the corners. “But that’s no marriage.”
“We’ve known each other forever. She loves me. I love her. It’ll be enough.”
Mama Jo’s eyes glossed over. “Will it, Daniel?”
“Of course it won’t,” Madison said. “You have to be honest with her. Tell him, Mom.”
“You don’t understand,” Daniel said. He had to make them see. “She was going out with Cody, right? Did she tell you why she broke it off with him?”
Mama Jo shook her head.
“He told her he loved her. That’s all. That’s all it took. She told me she can’t handle being in love again, that she won’t. That’s why she asked me to marry her. Because I’m safe. Because—” He clenched his jaw. “Because she knows she’ll never feel that way about me.”
He swallowed against the hard knot in his throat, fought the sting behind his eyes. He found the familiar linoleum pattern in the floor, tracing the squares with his eyes.
“Oh, Daniel.” Mama Jo’s voice was filled with heartbreak.
He had to do something. He tightened his hold on her hand as his eyes found hers. “I’ll be good to her, Mama Jo. I’ll make her happy, I swear it. I’ll be the best flipping husband there ever was.”
Madison tossed the wet rag in the sink. It slapped against the porcelain. “This is a mistake.”
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