“Hope is thirsty,” she says, holding out a bottle.
I take hold of it, turning around and making the water come out to fill it up.
“Is that why you’re able to do what they can?”
“Is what why?” I ask, turning around and holding out the bottle to her.
She takes it back from me without making a move to leave. “Is that why you love him? Is it because you think you have to?”
“What are you talking about?” I frown at her.
“You’re pregnant.”
“What?” I gasp, my hand automatically moving over my stomach again.
I’ve only told Hannah the truth since Lisa has still been expressing her disdain towards Marduke. Although, to be honest, it was only a matter of time before she’d piece it together, seeing as I have to do everything for them because nothing works for humans. Without Riley, I’d be as helpless as they all are.
“I think I understand things now. You were a virgin before all this, and Marduke tricked you into having sex with him. I absolutely suggested you should do it, given it was the end of the world. Obviously, neither one of us realised what Marduke was. Then it was too late because you were knocked up.
“That baby growing inside you is wrong. You have to end it, just like you have to end this weird attachment you have towards Marduke. You don’t owe him anything.”
I’m too shocked by her words to speak for several minutes. She’s telling me that I’m only with Marduke because of Riley, and that I should have an abortion? Seriously?
“Lisa, that isn’t what happened at all. Marduke told me who he really was before anything happened between us. He didn’t take advantage of me.”
She shakes her head, not believing me. “No, he made you think he had already told you, but you have gotten your times mixed up. You have to have. How could you still want to sleep with him after he told you he was an alien? After you saw what his machines were doing to us? How could you want to have sex with something as evil as what his species is? You’re confused.”
I’m speechless again. Lisa is trying to justify to herself why I can’t be a traitor to my own people. She refuses to believe I’d betray humans like I have. I can’t even really be mad at her because I did betray my own people and planet by accepting Marduke. I know things aren’t exactly all black and white, especially not now that Jeprow and his creatures are on the scene, but back on Earth, there was just us against them. And I still chose Marduke.
“I know you can’t understand this, but just remember who Marduke is. He saved my life countless times. He cares—”
“He was the reason your life was even in danger! Come on, Mattie, really think about this.”
I shake my head. “His father was the one who ordered the attack, not Marduke. He loves me and I love him. He’s a good man, regardless of where he comes from.”
“He’s brainwashed you. Even if he does care about you, what happens if we all survive this? You’ll live forever on this planet with aliens? You’ll be a slave to his race? You’ll have children who won’t be accepted by your own people?”
“Lisa, please stop.”
“Why? Because you don’t want to think about the repercussions of your actions? Because you don’t want to consider that, while you were betraying us by sleeping with our enemy, humans were having their homes destroyed, were being slaughtered and herded onto spaceships so our planet could be stolen from us? Do you not want to consider the abomination that is growing in your stomach? Don’t want to think about how ashamed your parents would be of you right now? Because I sure as hell am ashamed of you!”
As a shocked silence rings in the air, Lisa’s hands are shaking and the water spills out of the sides of the bottle. She slowly looks down at it then steadies her grip and leaves me behind, feeling sick and dizzy from her words. I feel like every word she spoke was a stab to my heart, and even though I know she has it all wrong about Marduke, part of me knows she’s a little bit right, too.
I was selfish to have fallen in love with Marduke. It was self-centred to indulge in my attraction to him and embrace my growing feelings of love. It might have felt right at the time, but Lisa is right now. My friends, family, and fellow human beings were suffering while I was having sex and falling in love.
What type of person does that make me? Am I partly responsible for what has happened to Earth and humans during and since because I blurred the line between Marduke and me?
“Are you all right?” Hannah asks, tentatively stepping into the room.
I nod, a tear escaping and giving me away that I’m not really okay.
“That was out of line—what she said.” She watches me glance at her in shock. “I heard the last part of it. She’s upset, and I get that. I’m sure you understand that, too. But she doesn’t speak for us all. I can see how much you and Marduke care about each other, and I see that he isn’t a bad person. If Lisa didn’t know he was an alien, then she’d be singing his praises right now.”
I nod, knowing she’s right while also knowing it won’t really make me feel better.
“Riley is innocent in this, and because Marduke and I couldn’t keep our hands to ourselves, now our baby will grow up with this hate surrounding it, and he or she won’t even have a side to be on. Humans won’t accept it, and neither will Marduke’s people.”
“Well, luckily we all look similar, so unless you’re about to tell me that Marduke glows green or something, then I think Riley will be all right with us. Besides, we’ll love and protect Riley no matter what. Your baby will have the love of its family, and that is pretty amazing.”
I whimper, more tears flooding my eyes as I let Hannah give me a hug.
“Now, let’s go exploring. I found a room that looks interesting. Best part, it doesn’t have an invisible door so I was able to get in there without your help.”
Needing a change of scenery and some distance from Lisa, I am ready to agree until I see that she is alone. “Where is Logan?”
“He’s with Hope. I love that kid, but he is a bit full on about not giving you a second to yourself. Let’s go before he realises we’re not around.”
She shuffles me out of the room and I follow her down the hallway, heading away from our rooms.
I still feel upset, yet Hannah starts blathering on about a boy that was in her class who everyone thought was having an affair with her English teacher, Ms. Wreath, which is completely false since I recall her as being well into her eighties. I don’t even know why she was still teaching and hadn’t retired. I also remember her having an elderly lady coming to visit her most days, and I’m pretty certain they were an item.
Regardless of the details, I try to lose myself in her story, one which gets even more ridiculous when she adds in a car chase. She keeps the story going, not slowing down once until we reach the room she wants me to see.
Inside looks like a junk room except all the junk looks brand new. There are machines and contraptions piled up high, and I have no idea what we’re looking at.
“What do you think all this is?”
“I don’t know. We’ll have to ask Marduke,” I say distractedly, stepping into the room and reaching out to take hold of a round metal ball as big as my hand. When I try to grab it, it feels solid and far heavier than its small size suggests. I only manage to knock it over and it falls down onto another machine, smashing through it until it rests on the ground.
“Oops, I hope that wasn’t important.” Hannah giggles, and I give her a wide-eyed look.
“Let’s just say this is how we found it,” I suggest, imagining that whatever I just broke was probably expensive, and no doubt, one of a kind.
When I step farther into the room, something catches my attention out of the corner of my eye. It’s a control panel much like what the doctor had back at the camp on Roth. The one she used to scan over me.
I pick it up, watching it come alive under my touch. I scan over the mess in front of me, just in case it’s not what I think and
it’s about to shoot out lasers or something. It brings forth an image of the mess, but nothing attacks it or tries to melt anything. Next, I point it at my feet and see the bones in my feet. I move it to be over my stomach and hold it there, watching Hannah’s expression as she stares intently over the tablet that, from my angle, I can’t see.
“I didn’t know you were having three babies,” she gasps.
My eyes nearly pop out of my head. I quickly pull the tablet to my own eyes and see the image has frozen on the last image.
There is one small, tiny infant there. I see its head, which is bigger than I expect, two waving arms resting over its head, and three legs.
Wait, what?
“Why does it have three legs?” I gasp, panicking. Marduke never said anything about his kind having extra limbs. Everyone I’ve seen of his people has two legs and two arms. How is that possible?
“Let me see.” Hannah takes the tablet back off me why I hyperventilate in the corner.
“How am I supposed to hide that from humans? It has three legs. What if our DNA mixing caused this? What if it isn’t even healthy? What if something is seriously wrong?” I panic.
“Yeah, or what if he’s a boy and you’re panicking over a penis.” Hannah rolls her eyes at me.
“A what?”
“You know, a penis. That thing that dangles between Marduke’s legs that sort of started this whole thing and got you guys into trouble in the first place? Please don’t tell me I have to keep explaining this.”
“You think it’s a penis? Riley is a boy?” I feel faint, but in a good way now. Can you feel faint in a good way?
“Yes, you idiot.” She rolls her eyes again at me. “Seriously, how did Mum and Dad think you were the smart one?”
I ignore her retort, knowing she is actually as excited as I am. It’s proven when she starts jumping up and down.
“A boy! You’re having a boy, Mattie!” She dances in circles around me, and I laugh at her antics, feeling excitement drum up inside me, too. She’s obviously willing to ignore the fact that she told me earlier she wanted us to be having a girl.
Riley is a boy. I’m going to have a son. I stare down at the image that hasn’t changed. I want to treasure this image forever, and I want desperately to tell Marduke that we’re having a boy.
“I have to find Marduke,” I state, rushing out of the room and moving farther down the tunnel, the image still gripped tightly in my hand.
I have to go a long distance down before I hear their voices, and unfortunately, they’re not speaking in English.
I love Marduke, but I do not love him speaking in his own language. A foreign language should probably feel exotic, and I know a lot of people would have drooled over a man who spoke to them in a different language, but to me, this just sounds harsh and ugly. I would be happy to never have to hear it again.
I step into the doorway, raising my hand to knock on the wall, when Ival catches my eye. He touches his finger to his lips, signalling me to be quiet.
Marduke isn’t looking at him, but from this angle, he can’t see me, either.
“I do not know why you are hesitant to agree to this. It is our best chance at survival, and your best chance to keep your little human safe,” Ival says in English, and I know he has done it deliberately so I can understand. What are they talking about?
“She won’t agree to it,” Marduke says, slipping back into English easily. I think he’s so used to speaking it now that he doesn’t really notice when he shifts between the two.
“She doesn’t have to agree. You don’t ever have to tell her.”
I have no idea what they are talking about, but I know I am at the centre of it. I’m curious and also hesitant to find out.
“It’s mass-murder,” he states sadly.
“It’s a necessary consequence if we are to defeat Jeprow. We need the humans to make a distraction. We need to sacrifice them so we can find what is hacking into our defences and preventing us from winning this war.”
“How sure are you about this information? What does this thing look like? How will we know when we find it? What does it do exactly that it can disable our defences?”
“One of our scientists saw it in Jeprow’s possession as he moved one from his spaceship and into our home after he took our father hostage. He said there are several small black boxes throughout all the cities on Oden, blocking our power, but the one we need to get to is on his spaceship. It is emitting data to the strategically placed black boxes, which makes them work, and it is overriding our own defences. It is the one that is powerful enough to kill our spaceships. It is the same type of one that dropped your ship out of the sky on Roth.”
“Then we destroy the black boxes here. If we damage enough, then perhaps their hold won’t encompass our entire planet. We could have a window of space where we can fight back,” Marduke tries to reason.
“But only within that window. The one that will be just as hard to get to as the one on Jeprow’s spaceship is in our home. Without our home, our people will know we have been defeated. We cannot allow him to rule there. Furthermore, don’t forget we can’t get any of our spaceships close enough to his ship to attack it. It means he will always be able to move over us and control us. He can attack whenever and wherever he wants.”
“Fine, I hear you. But maybe we can do that without sacrificing the humans.” Marduke sounds anything other than hopeful.
What are they talking about? What do they mean sacrificing the humans?
“How exactly? Are you willing to put our own women and men’s lives in the firing range instead? Are you willing to watch them all die? The humans have more experience dealing with evil. They are used to murder and war. This will be no different for them.”
Marduke shakes his head, but he doesn’t verbally contradict Ival. Why isn’t he defending us? We might have not had a completely innocent past, but that doesn’t mean we are all soldiers. It doesn’t give them the right to throw us into a war that has nothing to do with us so we can die for them.
“The question now is, are you willing to lie to your human to ensure you can all get out of here alive, even if it means the death of many of her species?”
“I will do anything to protect Mattie,” Marduke states seriously, his words sending a chill down my spine instead of warmth.
He’s willing to potentially murder hundreds of thousands of humans just to ensure my life? Even then, there is another alternative that he’s not willing to have happen, which would be to put his people in the firing range and leave my people out of it.
“You’re willing to kill innocent humans over a war that was started because of your people’s actions?” I growl, giving away the fact that I’ve been listening in.
“Mattie!” Marduke gapes, swinging around to face me. “I didn’t know you were here—”
“Obviously, since when you speak to me, you don’t voice your true intentions towards humans. You pretend like we matter and we deserve to be given Earth back, but you’d rather they just all die?”
“No, that isn’t it at all.” He takes a step towards me, but I counter it with a step backwards.
“So which will it be, use humans as a distraction, or your own people?” I snap at him.
“You don’t need to hear this—”
“Actually, I do. Answer me,” I demand.
The fact that he doesn’t answer me straight away tells me what he’s going to say. I still need to hear the words come out of his mouth, though.
He grinds his jaw, his eyes glaring over at Ival for a moment before they soften as they touch on me. “We don’t know that humans would lose their lives, they’re fighters. I’ve seen it in you. I’ve seen it in Hank and in a lot of humans. You will fight, and you know how to survive. We might only need a small amount of time to find what we need and destroy it. As soon as we do, we’ll protect the humans and destroy the Claws.”
“And your people just hide away, safe and sound, while our blood is spilled
on their behalf?”
“I took an oath to defend my people; my father’s last words were for us to protect them.”
“Yeah, and I took a personal oath to end this fucking war and get my planet back. So I guess we both have to do what we have to do,” I snap, throwing the tablet at him when he attempts to take another step forward. He catches it, only just avoiding dropping it onto the floor. He stares at it in confusion.
“I came in here to tell you that you’re going to have a son, but I realise now that you’ll never be a father to Riley. You’ve chosen a side, and it is not the same one where I stand. I don’t want to see you again, Marduke.” My heart breaks saying those words, but deep down, I know I’m doing the right thing.
How can I be with someone who is willing to sacrifice my race just for a chance at finding some stupid black boxes which will only help them get spaceships into the air? Meanwhile, humans are being slaughtered and tormented by those horrible creatures! Haven’t we all been through enough? Haven’t we all seen enough?
I storm down the hallway, bypassing Lisa and Hannah along the way. Lisa is staring at me in shock. Her eyes are wide, mouth open, and her cheeks are wet from tears. I know she’s heard everything. Hannah looks furious, and as I pass her, she steps in line with me, following me back to the end of the tunnel where our rooms are.
For a long time, I haven’t felt the dark place that lives inside me. The one created after the invasion, the one that I was almost consumed by when I first got to Roth. There was one thing that kept me from sinking into it before, which was my mission with Hank. I wanted revenge and let it fuel me.
After Marduke arrived on Roth, he was enough to keep me afloat. But I can no longer rely on him. Instead of allowing myself to sink into my heartbreak and the darkness inside of me wanting to swallow me whole, however, I tap into my anger and let it fuel me again.
I fume and rage inside. I clench my hands and then unclench. I huff and growl and let it out. I really want to punch someone right now, and I imagine the pain I wish I could inflict on Ival and Marduke. I then add in Jeprow. In my imagination, I cause them all a world of pain, exactly as they deserve.
Oden Page 11