by Amber Dane
He needed to earn her forgiveness. Whatever it took to gain that he knew he would do it.
He had erred in the worst way imaginable and his beautiful wife deserved nothing but the best from him. He’d done her a grave ill and he could only hope…He would not think it. He would work on it.
Much later, a sigh of relief escaped him when she allowed him to assist her up into the small carriage one of his men had procured in town. She kept her eyes ahead and did not look at him. The slight cut him deeply, but Darc said nothing. With his heart heavy in his chest he mounted his horse and gave the word to ride for home.
CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR
Darc stood next to the bed watching his wife sleep with her arms hugged tight and snug around her son. And Kelbie was her son as surely as if she’d borne the boy herself. Aye and his too. He loved the boy.
He loved her.
She had come back to him but not all of her.
What had he expected? Her immediate forgiveness?
That her profession of undying love for him still remained and beat in the smallest corner of her heart?
Aye, he had.
Darc swallowed hard, his chest ached with what he was feeling for this woman and how was he going to make things right.
Would things ever be right between them? A lump of fear formed within his chest.
A fortnight had passed since they had returned.
The moment the chamber door closed, Caroline opened her eyes. Temptation burned strong in her belly to go after him. But reason stayed her.
In the future she imagined there would be a time she would come to forgive him. This she knew. When and how she knew not and her head ached as did her heart over what had happened.
What had been destroyed.
Working with John and Mary she had had plenty time to think. The first few days she had blocked him out and kept her thoughts fueled with Kelbie.
Then her husband and her feelings she could not bury resurfaced and the pain stayed a long time.
Like now, it wounded her deeply still, the damage pulling hard at her heart and gut. She hurt so badly inside that she wanted to hide away and weep for days. Anguish threatened to tear her asunder with the deep sadness that held her heart prisoner.
Being back here had worsened it somehow. She was still too mad at what she felt and did not feel. Caroline fretted more over her muddled thoughts before sighing heavily and shoving them aside.
Pulling Kelbie closer she stared long into the darkness listening to his little heart beating and wondered what the coming days would bring.
Spring came in cool with a hidden sun and dark days, but Caroline went outside each day to watch Kelbie play. Laur and Mildred surrounded her like protective mother hens whilst the new servants her husband had brought in roused some new life back into the dark castle.
Brighter colors filled the castle rooms and the villiens were lively.
The babe grew heavier and heavier in her belly, the little flutters of the first kicks had woken her late one night and Caroline had wanted to share in the joy of it with Darc. But she didn’t.
Though the brooding man pretended not to look her way when her gaze set upon him, she knew his eyes were on her in turn when she looked away. She was well aware he followed them everywhere.
He’d not kept to his word and left for Normandy.
And she was glad. She wanted him to stay here even if she did not yet know how to approach him or if she was even ready. Aye, she was.
Tears stung her eyes at the sight of his towering frame not too far from where they were in the garden. He and a few serfs stood near the well by the talking women and Caroline almost smiled through her water-filled eyes. If he could stand as he did almost every day within the ward whilst she walked daily, told her he was reaching through her wounded heart just being so near and in her sight.
The beast out of his darkness to trail after her.
Her heart bled for what they once had.
He laughed at something a serf said and her head turned back again at the sound. Oh, how she missed that rare sensual laugh.
His eyes met hers briefly before she turned away. She knew what he wanted. Darc expected her to come to him.
He’d said as much the day he’d come to the inn.
Her anger had lessened and she found she sought out daily where he would perch himself each day.
Whether she was in the garden, the kitchens, the river bank with Kelbie, his large presence was there as strong as her love.
Hearing his laugh only proved she could no longer deny it. Yearning burned in her heart for the man. Caroline turned back to look at him. He was in a hearty conversation it seemed with the serfs, his side profile to her. His dark hair blew over his well-sculpted face and his thighs looked magnificent in his breeches. She swallowed not realizing she stared at him so openly with lust and love in her eyes.
Until he turned his neck and his eyes seared her once more. His fierce countenance hid his pain well. But she knew better.
He still came nightly to her chamber to watch them sleep. Though she had put Kelbie back in his own bed at his request. She smiled at the thought; her little fellow was growing up. Darc had left his mark on him. Kelbie had missed her a great deal.
As more weeks passed Caroline cultivated her garden and kept up her communication with the villagers and helped Kelbie with his education. Being active with him during their playtime together kept her sadness at bay.
Darc was everywhere she looked.
Farming, training soldiers, practicing with his men, laboring alongside his farmers on many occasions, even plowing the fields.
Not many lords worked side by side with their peasants. But her husband did and Caroline looked upon him with more respect, thinking back to how the murders had been difficult for even a hardened warrior like himself. He had worked with these people and they were not only extremely loyal to him, but admired him.
She wondered if he truly had any intentions of going off to Normandy after all or to the manor that was still being built on Halvard’s land.
They barely spoke a greeting to one another in passing, but she was very much aware of his presence and the heat he brought to her veins. How could one want another as badly as she did him? Did he not yearn and lie awake at night tormented by this gulf of anguish between them?
Laur appeared with a kitchen server by her side and another boy in tow and instructed one to spread out a thick covering in a clear spot next to her. The other set a tray with trenchers piled high with wild meats, roasted plums and crusts of bread on the covering.
The delicious aroma reminded Caroline of how little she’d eaten this day since she’d broke her fast at dawn
Caroline opened her mouth to ask Laur what was afoot, but she was momentarily distracted by the delicious aroma of the food as she leaned over to look at it.
Laur was already seating Kelbie next to her as she helped her up and down again to sit her bottom on a thick pillow Mildred had come over as well with a basket brimming over with berries and other colorful round fruits.
‘You ate like a bird, my lady, this morn. You have to eat more. Healthy you need be. Fresh berries Mildred picked just for you.’
Caroline’s eyes swelled with tears. ‘Thank you, both.’
Laur too had hovered in the wings when not next to her as had Mildred in keeping their round the clock watch. The babe was not due for quite some time yet, but one would not know it the way the two women fussed over her. Most times they argued, but Caroline knew better. The two women had become good friends since Mildred had come into the castle. She loved and cherished them both.
‘They right tasty, my lady. There be enough food here for another.’
Caroline did not miss Mildred’s smile and nod in Darc’s direction. Caroline shook her head.
The two women went silent and Caroline glanced through her lowered lashes in her husband’s direction. He’d been close enough to hear, but said nothing and walked away.
&
nbsp; CHAPTER FIFTY-FIVE
‘My lady! You must come quickly.’
Caroline opened her eyes, reluctantly and feeling weary still from another restless night of little sleep and waved Mildred away.
After much harassing and incessant chatter in her ear, dressed and annoyed, Caroline later walked along the landing above the hall with Mildred by her side. Her attention was soon drawn to the noise below.
Darc stood there, Cal in front of him. Caroline froze on the landing.
‘You are my father?’ Cal’s words reached her ears as she and the small crowd waited.
‘Aye, I am.’
Silence. Then Cal reached up and clasped her husband’s hand and smiled up at the man who appeared larger than life. ‘Good. I am glad.’
Caroline’s heart ached at the sight.
She kept her eyes trained on them both as Darc nodded and said. ‘As am I.’
She bit her lip to stop her gasp. Collective noise from those around them rose up to the ceiling yet Darc looked up, his gaze settling on her. With her hand pressed to her throat, Caroline gave a nod before she turned away. She walked back to her chamber, tears burning her throat as overwhelming emotion took hold of her heart.
Darc could take no more of it. His gaze swept over the castle windows till they came to Caroline’s. He could see the flickering of the candlelight within as he made his way from the stables and he grunted over his tormenting thoughts. The last few weeks had torn him apart. Watching her nightly, wanting her nightly, seeing her daily, it was a hell. Seeing her the eve he’d made it known to all Cal was his son had been like a knife being driven deeply into his heart.
Loneliness had followed him it seemed, forever. But having her, Kelbie and Cal in his life had changed all that.
He would not force her, he’d promised her that. But she had not come to him as he thought she would. So tonight he would go to her.
Force her he would not, but he needed the devil off his shoulder and he would have a decision this night. Though her distance said something other, her eyes on him told him she had come to some terms. Tonight would prove if he was right or wrong in what he believed he glimpsed in her eyes and not just his own imaginings and yearnings.
He’d taken measures earlier for Mildred to take Kelbie to his new chamber. The boy had been ready for weeks, but he let Caroline adjust in her own time. She’d let the little man back into his own bed. Darc smiled over the change in the boy under his direction. A good knight he would make one day as would Cal.
He took a deep breath in the dark hallway as he stood in front of her chamber door.
What this woman meant to him he was not sure he could put into words, but he would do his best.
Opening the door, Darc quickly bolted it behind him, locking them in. Her startled gasp drew him to where she sat near the window. She rose from the bench and glared at him.
Dressed only in a long white shift, her nipples perked to attention as her face reddened and her eyes blazed watching him. She opened her mouth, and then closed it. He marched over to her.
She took a step back and opened her mouth again, her words burst from her. ‘What the devil do you th-think you are doing?’
‘I want this madness to end this night, wife.’
His tone, his smoldering gaze, those lush lips were too much for Caroline and she turned her gaze away from his and went to walk around him. He caught her by the wrist, gently. She failed in her attempt to steel herself against the warmth of the contact. The fragile shield she barely kept up against him shattered.
Even so, she jerked out of his grasp and rubbed at her wrist as if it burned. Heat flooded her cheeks. ‘You said you would not force me.’ She reminded him.
‘And I shall not.’
Her brows furrowed and Darc watched her eyes narrow in suspicion. God’s Thunder! The woman enchanted him so.
‘Then why did you lock us in here?’
‘I will not force myself upon you, but I will have an answer of what I must needs do to get you talk to me. ’
Her hands went to her hips and his eyes followed. ‘Am I not talking to you now?’
He gave her a look and she walked back to the window with a toss of her head. Caroline knew what he wanted. She wanted the same thing. Ached in the worst way for it.
She just had not known how to approach him. It had gone on too long. Of that much she was certain.
Heat bathed her skin as she remembered how her body reacted to his touch, his caresses and the wondrous delights of sex he had introduced her to. With her back still to him, she hung her head, overcome. ‘So much has happened. So much…I am so tired, Darc.’
Darc winced and his scar itched as though in agreement. ‘Think you I am not weary of it as well, wife? Of all this conflict between us?’
Years spent in war and growing his vast lands, and wealth had been difficult enough. What he had thought he had with Adelay did not compare to what he felt for her. ‘Verily, what I thought I knew of love, I realized I was wrong. I believed one did not need it. When I was with Adelay, this hole in my chest still burned, yearned for something more. Something she never could fill. After…I buried it, ignored the feeling for years ‘till…’
She turned and faced him, her large hopeful eyes searching his face and Darc wanted to crush her to him, but he did not. Not yet. Her bottom lip trembled when she prodded him with eagerness in her tone. ‘‘Till?’
‘Till you.’ He clasped her hand in his and placed it over his heart. Moisture filled her eyes and he said. ‘The hole is filled. You make me whole, wife.’
She blinked rapidly and tried to tug free. He held her close and reached up to smooth a lock of hair back from her cheek. He bent and kissed her lightly. She stiffened against him a moment, then he felt her relax. Darc pulled back. ‘God knows how much I have missed you, Caroline!’
When she tugged at her hand again he released her and his chest burned in disappointment when she turned her back on him once again. He had to strain to catch her words as she muttered, ‘I am glad you came to me.’
Darc shut his eyes for a brief moment to savor her words. Then he placed his hands on her shoulders. ‘I could no longer stand it with you so near, not being able to touch you…’
She wavered and he saw it. Caroline no longer cared.
Tears pricked her eyes over the love she held for this man. The sharp planes of his face were surprisingly smooth to her touch and despite all his wonderful attributes of his physical body, Caroline found his face her favorite part of him. Sensual in the way he gazed at her, always seemed those blue eyes were seducing her with the slightest hint of darkening or the way he tilted his head, smoldering and blazing a path up her through her limbs which left her with no other thought but to have him inside her.
Blushing at her thoughts, Caroline fidgeted and cleared her throat. The man brought out the most sinful and carnal things in her she’d never imagined herself capable of. She met his gaze and was rewarded with a half-smile.
She turned and pressing her hands against his chest she said with a troubled sigh. ‘I was unsure how much longer I could bear it myself. I must say it did not help seeing you each day wherever I looked. Which I know was no happenstance, husband.’
He was shaking his head with a smile, the hope burning in his eyes as he remarked, ‘Nay, it was no happenstance. I needed, had to be near you. You’re in my blood, Caroline. My heart. My life is nothing without you. Without Kelbie. Without Cal.’
A strangled gasp escaped her lips and she pressed her fingers to his lips.
‘Shhh…Talk to me later. Kiss me. Now.’
Darc chuckled, ‘The woman that loves to talk before being intimate with her husband demands a kiss first? You have changed, wife.’
‘Now,’ she demanded again and parted her lips.
Darc entwined his hands with hers and drew her close against his chest. He lowered his head and took the sweet offering her parted lips offered, delights he needed to taste. And kissed her until all t
hought left her head but the feel and smell of him.
When it came time for him to enter her and join their bodies, Darc hesitated and moved gently. But she protested and took over. He found himself shouting in joy as his wife turned into the aggressor. She was careful of her positioning as she welcomed him into her body and climaxing within seconds after his first few thrusts.
Later, he caressed the curve of her left hip with gentle strokes when she took him into her mouth.
‘Have a care, Caroline. My patience can only be stretched so much.’
When he could take no more he pulled her up and helped her onto her side. ‘Are you comfortable?’
‘Aye.’ She moaned and arched her back against his hardness as he lay next to her. ‘Are you?’
‘Nay,’ Darc teased. She craned her neck around to look back at him. He smiled, his fingers softly cradling her chin as he pressed tight against her. ‘Can you feel me?’
Her answer was a throaty sigh as he slid his burgeoning length inside her hot heat. Her muscles clenched him and with his thighs pressed tightly to hers, he moved. The friction brought deep cries of pleasure from her and Darc was pleased.
“Oh Darc, ’tis wonderful.’
‘Aye, you are indeed. Squeeze your legs together, wife.’
She did and his cry matched her own when the pleasure swiftly washed over them. His hot seed spurted deep inside her as he tilted her head back to kiss her deeply. Darc had felt the depth of her love just as he’d felt that she held back a part of herself.
As she trembled in her release again, he whispered, breathless, near her ear. ‘I love you, Caroline.’
Her sobs mixed with her pleasure and he pressed his head against her back and held her tight, still inside her, while she wept.
Caroline woke to see her husband’s head pressed against her belly. Enthralled, she watched and waited as his tongue flicked out and licked her navel. She giggled from the tickling sensation. When he pressed his warm lips more firmly there, Caroline gasped at the tender gesture.