Molly found his green and brown gaze mesmerising. ‘No, not at all,’ she said. ‘Does it embarrass you?’
His eyes moved over her face, as if he was committing her features to memory. The silence throbbed with a backbeat of electric tension. She felt it echoing in her blood and wondered if he could feel it too. His eyes dropped to her mouth, pausing there for an infinitesimal moment. ‘In another life I would’ve kissed you the other night,’ he said in a gravel-rough tone. ‘I probably would’ve taken you to bed as well.’
Molly looked at his mouth. She could see the tiny vertical lines of his lower lip and the slight dryness that she knew would cling to her softer one like sandpaper does to silk. ‘Why not in this life?’ she asked softly.
He reached out and brushed her lower lip with the pad of his index finger. His touch was as light as a moth’s wing but it set off a thousand bubbly, tingly sensations beneath her skin. ‘I think you know why not,’ he said, and stepped back from her.
Molly felt like the floor of her stomach had dropped right out of her as he turned and left the room. She put her hand to her mouth, touching where his finger had so briefly been...
CHAPTER FIVE
LUCAS LOOKED AT the bedside clock and groaned. Another hour had gone by and he still couldn’t sleep. His body felt restless, too wired to relax enough to drift off. He wondered if Molly was faring any better. But of course that was his problem’thinking about Molly.
He couldn’t stop thinking about her. About how soft her plump lower lip had felt against the soft press of his fingertip. How luminous her grey-blue eyes had been when she had looked at him. How husky and sexy her voice had sounded. How he had wanted to pull her into his arms and kiss her, to taste her, to feel her respond to him.
He groaned again and threw off the bedcovers. Having her under the same roof was a form of self-torture. What had he been thinking, inviting her to stay with him? The house had changed since she’d moved in. And it wasn’t just her little cat, who right at this moment was curled up on the foot of his bed, purring like an engine.
Molly made his big empty house seem warm and inviting. It was subtle things, like the way she had brought a bunch of flowers home and put them on the kitchen table in a jam jar because he hadn’t ever thought to buy a vase. It was the fragrance of her perfume that lingered in the rooms she had wandered into. It was seeing the little array of girly things in the guest bathroom she was using’the lotions and potions, the hairdryer and straightening iron. And it was the not-so-subtle things, like her sexy black wisp of lace knickers hanging to dry over the clotheshorse in the laundry.
It wasn’t just the house that had changed since she’d moved in. He had changed. He no longer came home wanting to be alone. He came home and looked forward to seeing her, hearing her, being with her. It wasn’t enough to see her at work. He wanted more. He wanted to talk to her and to have her talk to him. He wanted to see her smile, hear her laugh.
He wanted her.
But he couldn’t have her without the past overshadowing everything. How long before her parents’either singularly or jointly’expressed their misgivings? Such antagonism would poison any alliance between them as a couple. But it wasn’t just the family stuff that gave him pause. How could he make her happy when he had nothing to offer her? He was used to being alone. He didn’t know how to live any other way. He would end up hurting her, just like he hurt everyone who dared to care about him.
Molly was out of his league, out of bounds, forbidden.
But he still wanted her.
* * *
Molly woke to the sound of mewing outside her door. She threw off the bedcovers and padded over to let Mittens in. ‘So now you want to sleep in my room, do you, you traitorous feline?’ she said.
The little cat blinked up at her guilelessly and mewed again.
‘Don’t just sit there looking at me like that,’ Molly said. ‘Are you coming in or not?’
Mittens wound his body around her ankles and then padded off towards the stairs, stopping every now and again to look back at her as if to tell her to follow him.
Molly shook her head in defeat and reached for a wrap. She followed the cat to the kitchen downstairs, where she poured some cat biscuits into the dish on the floor and watched as he munched and crunched his way through them. ‘You’d better not make a habit of this,’ she muttered. ‘I can’t see Lucas waiting on you whisker and paw for nocturnal top-ups.’
There was a sound behind her and Molly turned and saw Lucas standing there dressed in nothing but a pair of long black silk pyjama trousers that were loose around his lean hips. Her eyes drank in the sight of his broad muscular chest. The satin skin with its natural tan, the carved pectoral muscles, the tiny pebbles of his flat male nipples, the ripped line of his abdomen and the dark hair that trailed beyond the waistband of the trousers. ‘Um...I was just feeding Mittens,’ she said, waving a hand at the cat, who was now licking his paws and wiping them over his face in a grooming session.
‘So I see,’ Lucas said.
‘I hope I didn’t wake you, nattering away to him,’ Molly said.
‘I wasn’t asleep.’
She looked at his drawn features’the bloodshot eyes, the deep grooves that ran each side of his mouth. Don’t stare at his mouth! She brought her gaze back up to his eyes and felt a tremor of want roll through her. He was so arrantly sexy with his dark stubbly regrowth and his hair all tousled.
‘Can I make you a hot drink or something?’ she asked, and started bustling about the kitchen to stop herself from reaching for him. ‘I bought some chocolate buttons the other day. They’re my weakness. That’s why I put them on the top shelf, so they’re not in my face and tempting me all the time.’ She reached up on tiptoe in the pantry but she couldn’t quite reach the packet in her bare feet.
Lucas’s arm reached past her and took the packet of chocolate buttons off the shelf. ‘Here you go,’ he said.
He was incredibly close in the tight space. Molly could smell his warm male smell. She could see the individual points of his raspy regrowth along his jaw. She could see the dark flare of his pupils as he held her gaze in a lock that had distinctly erotic undertones. Her fingers touched his as she went to take the packet from him but he didn’t release it. She gave it a little tug but still he held firm. She nervously sent the tip of her tongue out over her lips and gave the packet another little tug.
She felt the faintest loosening of his hold, but just as she was about to claim victory, his fingers wrapped around hers. The electricity of his touch sent a shockwave through her senses.
He gently tugged her towards her him until she was flush against his pelvis, her stomach doing a complete flip turn when she encountered the ridge of his growing erection. She lowered her lashes as his mouth came down, down, down as if in slow motion.
As soon as Molly felt the imprint of his mouth on hers, a rush of sensation spiralled through her. His kiss was light at first, experimental almost, a slow, measured discovery of the landscape of her lips. He gradually increased the pressure but he didn’t deepen the kiss. But somehow it was all the more intimate for that.
He cupped her face in his hands, his lean, long fingers gentle on her cheeks. It was a tender gesture that made her insides melt. She felt the rasp of his unshaven jaw against her chin as he shifted position. It was a spine-tingling reminder of all the essential differences between them: smooth and rough, hard and soft, male and female.
He gently stroked his tongue along the seam of her mouth. It wasn’t a command for entry but a tempting lure to make her come in search of him. She pushed the tip of her tongue forward, her whole body quivering when it came into contact with his’male against female. It made fireworks explode inside her body. It unleashed something needy and urgent inside her. She gave a little whimper as his tongue touched hers again, a stab and retreat that had
an unmistakably sexual intent about it.
Molly pressed herself closer, her insides clenching with desire as she felt his erection so hot and hard against her belly. His tongue glided against hers, calling it into a circling, whirling dance that made her senses spin like a top.
Had she ever been kissed like this?
Not in this lifetime.
He increased the pressure of his mouth on hers, interspersed with gentle but sexy thrusts and glides of his tongue. His hands slid up into her hair, his fingers splaying out over her scalp where every hair shaft was shivering and quaking in delight.
He broke the kiss to pull at her lips with his mouth, teasing little tugs that made her belly flip and then flop. Then he caressed her lips with a slow, drugging sweep of his tongue before covering her mouth again in a kiss that had a hint of desperation to it.
Molly felt her bones turn to liquid as his mouth worked its mesmerising magic on hers. She had never felt so turned on by a kiss. Hot darts of need pierced her. Her breasts felt tight and sensitive where they were pressing against his chest. Her inner core was moist and aching with that hollow feeling of want that nothing but sex could assuage. She moved her lower body against him, loving the feel of him responding to her so powerfully.
He took a deep breath and pulled back, holding her with his hands on her upper arms. ‘We need to stop,’ he said, breathing raggedly. ‘I need to stop.’
‘Right...of course...good idea. We definitely should stop,’ Molly said, suddenly embarrassed at how passionately she had responded to him. Would he think her too easy? Too forward? That was ironic as she was quite possibly the most conservative lover on the planet. But somehow he had unlocked a part of her she hadn’t known existed.
He dropped his hold and rubbed at his face with both of his hands. ‘I knew this was going to happen. I’m sorry. It’s my fault. I was the one who crossed the line. It won’t happen again.’
‘We kissed,’ she said, trying to be all modern and laid back about it. ‘What’s the big deal?’
His expression tightened. ‘This is not just about a kiss and you damn well know it.’ He moved to the other side of the kitchen. ‘I don’t need this right now.’
‘Maybe this is just what you need,’ Molly said. ‘You’re too focussed on work. That’s why you can’t sleep. You haven’t got an off button.’
‘Don’t tell me how to live my life.’
‘You’re not living your life, though, are you?’ she said.
His brows snapped together. ‘What’s that supposed to mean?’
‘You have no life,’ Molly said. ‘You work ninety-to a hundred-hour weeks. You bite people’s heads off. You push people away. You can’t even remember the last time you got close to someone.’
‘I had sex three months ago.’
Molly arched her brow. ‘On your own or with someone?’
He rolled his eyes. ‘With a woman I met at a conference.’
‘Did you see her more than once?’
‘There was no point,’ he said. ‘The chemistry wasn’t right.’
‘So it was a one-night stand.’
‘There’s nothing wrong with a one-night stand as long as it’s safe.’
‘And you like to be safe, don’t you, Lucas?’ Molly said. ‘Safe from feeling anything for anyone. Safe from having anyone feel anything for you.’
She could see the tension in him. It was in every line and contour of his face. It was in the set of his shoulders and the tight clench of his fists. She could even feel it in the air. It made the atmosphere crackle like scrunched-up baking paper. ‘What are you trying to do, Molly?’ he asked. ‘Push me until I lose control?’
She stepped up to within an inch of his body. His nostrils flared like those of a wild stallion as her scent came to him. Her breasts almost touched his chest. He held himself rigid, every muscle on his face set in stone, his body a marble statue. ‘This is what you’re frightened of, isn’t it, Lucas?’ she said as she placed a hand on his chest where his heart was thumping. ‘Wanting someone. Needing them.’
He covered her hand with his and pulled it off his chest, the strength and grip of his fingers making her wince. ‘I want you out of here by the end of the week,’ he said, dropping her hand as if it was poisonous.
‘Why?’ she asked. ‘Because you don’t like letting someone see how incredibly lonely you are when you haven’t got work to distract you?’
His jaw looked like it had been set in concrete. ‘If you’re not careful I’ll throw you out tonight.’
‘I don’t think you mean that,’ Molly said.
‘You want to put it to the test?’ he asked.
She looked at the steely glint in his eyes and backed down. ‘Not particularly.’
‘Wise of you,’ he said.
‘I’m only doing it because of Mittens,’ she said. ‘If it wasn’t for him, I would’ve left before this.’
‘You shouldn’t have come in the first place.’
‘You invited me!’
‘I meant to London,’ he said. ‘You should have known it would cause trouble. But that’s probably why you came. You could destroy my reputation with a word to the right person and you damn well know it.’
Molly frowned as she looked at him. ‘I didn’t realise you had such an appalling opinion of me. Do you really think that’s why I’m here?’
‘I’ve paid for what happened to your brother,’ he said. ‘Every day of my life since I have paid for that error of judgement. I can’t bring him back. I can’t undo what’s done. I just want to be left to get on with my life. Is that too much to ask?’
‘But you’re not getting on with your life,’ Molly said. ‘You’re stuck. Just like I’m stuck. Matt haunts us both. We both feel guilty.’
‘You have no need to feel guilty,’ he said. ‘You weren’t driving the car that killed him.’
‘Why did you go out that night?’
He closed his eyes as if trying to block out the memory. ‘I didn’t want to go,’ he said. ‘Matt was pretty wired. He was in one of those moods he got into from time to time. I didn’t find out until later that he’d been grounded, otherwise I wouldn’t have agreed to go. But he always wanted to push the boundaries. He wanted the adrenalin rush. That’s why I insisted on getting back behind the wheel. I thought he was being reckless. I didn’t mind going for a drive to hang out, but doing tailspins and doughnuts wasn’t my thing. I didn’t see the kangaroo until it was too late. If I’d had more experience or if we’d been in a later model car, I would probably have handled it better. I lost control on the gravel. I didn’t even realise he hadn’t done up his seat belt until I saw him hit the windscreen.’
‘Matt wouldn’t have gone out at all if it hadn’t been for me,’ Molly said.
‘What do you mean?’ he asked.
‘I found his stash of cigarettes and told my parents,’ she said. ‘That’s why they grounded him. He was upset with me about it. I’ve always blamed myself for what happened. I wish I’d kept my mouth shut.’
Lucas frowned. ‘You were just a little kid,’ he said. ‘You did the right thing. Matt shouldn’t have been smoking, especially as he had asthma. He stole those cigarettes from Hagley’s store. I was furious with him about it. But he was always pulling pranks like that.’
Molly let her shoulders drop on a sigh. ‘I can’t help blaming myself. Not just about Matt, but about my parents. Once he was gone...I wasn’t enough for them. I couldn’t make them happy. I couldn’t keep our family together no matter how hard I tried.’
He came over to her and placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. ‘Your parents were having trouble well before Matt’s death,’ he said. ‘He told me about it heaps of times. You might not have noticed, being so much younger. Young kids tend to see what they want to see. Matt was sure your parents wer
e heading for a break-up. His death probably just postponed it for a few years.’
Molly looked up into his face. His eyes were kind, his touch so gentle it made her melt all over again. ‘I’ve never really talked to anyone about this before,’ she said. ‘Everybody always clammed up as soon as I came into the room. It was like the mere mention of Matt’s name would damage me in some way. I guess they thought they were protecting me, but in the long run it made it so much harder. I had no one to talk to about him, about how much I missed him, about how guilty I felt. It must have been like that for you too.’
His expression spasmed in pain as he dropped his hand from her shoulder. ‘It was one of the worst things about the whole tragedy,’ he said. ‘I lost my best mate and then no one would ever talk to me about him. My parents did their best but they didn’t want to upset me. My brothers didn’t know how to handle it. It was as if Matt had never existed.’
‘I don’t think Matt would want us to keep punishing ourselves for what happened,’ Molly said. ‘He would want us to be happy’to get on with our lives. Can’t you see that?’
‘I’m not going to take advantage of you,’ he said, his mouth flattening in resolve. ‘You’re a long way from home. You’re way out of your depth. You’re uncertain about your relationship with Simon whatever his name is. I’m not going to add to your confusion by conducting an affair with you that will only end in tears.’
‘It doesn’t have to end in tears,’ she said. ‘We could have a great relationship. We have a lot in common. We have the same values. We have the same background.’
He gave her a bleak look. ‘How long do you think a relationship between us would last?’ he asked. ‘Your parents would be up in arms about it. It would devastate them. It would devastate my own parents. Do you think they haven’t suffered enough? They’ve paid a high price for my mistake. I won’t have them suffer anything else.’
‘You’re wrong, Lucas,’ Molly said. ‘It wouldn’t devastate them. It might actually help them, and my parents too. Can’t you see that? It would help them to realise life goes on. We could help them heal.’
Their Most Forbidden Fling Page 7