“You’re crazy!” she giggled. He was lightly kissing her neck now, and she was loving it. “James?”
“Hmm?”
“I can’t believe that this time next month I’m supposed to be leaving for college.” That stopped him. They put their heads together and looked into each other’s eyes. “How am I supposed to live that far away from you?”
“You’re not,” he said and placed a quick kiss on her lips before sitting up. “You’re going to stay here, marry me, and we’ll live happily ever after. There. All settled.” He tried to go back to kissing her neck from their new position, but she pulled back.
“So I have something to tell you,” she began nervously as she reclined against James’s chest and watched the waves rolling in.
He gently turned her toward him. He knew that tone of voice, and yet he was afraid of what she was going to say. “What is it?” Dread and fear filled him.
“I’m late.”
“For what?”
She could have killed him for being so obtuse. “My period is late!”
James let out a whoop of delight and pulled Selena in close and kissed her soundly on the lips. “Don’t you see, Selena? It’s perfect! Now you don’t have to leave and go to school. You can stay here, take some classes at the community college if you want, and we can get married! Say yes; marry me, Selena!”
Her eyes filled with tears as she nodded her head. “I will! I will marry you, James!” They kissed again and when they broke apart, the look of sheer joy on his face was her undoing. “I love you so much.”
“I love you too. It’s going to be perfect, like everything we planned. Only better.”
He drove her home a little later with promises of seeing each other the next day. It was a girls’ night out, and while James wanted to keep Selena with him, especially now that he knew she was carrying his child, he also knew how much her friends meant to her.
Selena left her house a little after eight and wished her parents a good night. The drive to Jen’s was done on autopilot; her car knew the way on its own after so many trips back and forth. She was stopped at a traffic light, waiting for it to turn green. “What will our baby look like?” she said out loud to no one. The light turned green. With her foot on the gas, she started moving, completely unaware that the driver heading toward her driver’s side wasn’t paying attention to his red light.
There was a moment when time seemed to stop; she could see the oncoming car’s headlights, heard the beep of his horn, but no one seemed to be moving. Then there was the enormous impact of the crash, and Selena cried out. Glass seemed to be everywhere, and she felt the car spinning out of control before it slammed into a telephone pole. Her head was resting on the steering wheel, and she did her best to look up, but everything started to go black. “Oh God,” she whispered. “James? Somebody, please.”
Her world blurred and faded to black.
* * *
Tapping? Knocking? Somewhere in the fogginess of her mind, Selena was hearing noises. Banging? Voices? She didn’t want to open her eyes; she didn’t want to acknowledge anything. Sleep. She wanted to sleep, but the noise persisted.
“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” she sighed and tossed the sheets off. “What time is it?” A quick glance at the clock on the nightstand told her it was just barely after three a.m. “Who would be at my door at this hour?” she mumbled.
Crazy thoughts went through her head as she reached for her robe and headed for the door. What if something had happened to Jen? Still the banging on the door continued. “Just a minute!” she yelled, just barely. “You better have the right room,” she mumbled under her breath as she peered through the peephole.
James.
“Oh my God,” she said as she yanked open the door. “James! Is it Jen? Is she all right?” Grabbing the front of his shirt, Selena pulled him inside and slammed the door.
“Jen? What…? I… Why is your phone off?” he demanded, his breathing ragged. His eyes scanned over her as if to verify she was okay.
“What? You came here at three in the morning because my phone is off?”
“Yes!”
“Why? Is everything okay? Seriously, did something happen to Jen?” she asked.
“Jen’s fine. We checked on her earlier, and she said she was staying at her own place tonight.” Suddenly they both realized they were still standing very close together and that her hands were still gripping his shirt. Selena’s eyes met his, and she instantly released her grip on him and turned to walk into the living room.
“So then what’s the problem, James? Why are you here?”
“I don’t know,” he whispered. Minutes ticked by as they stood and stared at one another. “I felt bad about this afternoon. I was called in on a case, and there just wasn’t time to contact you before. I’ve been calling since about eight, but the phone was off, and then I tried reaching you at Jen’s and…I thought…I thought that something…” He began walking toward her slowly. “I guess it’s just my cop instincts, but I thought something had happened to you.” Now he was next to her, breathing in her sweet scent and taking in the beautiful picture she made standing there in her robe and T-shirt, still half-asleep.
“I’m fine,” she whispered. “When I got back here, I went right to sleep. I just didn’t want to be disturbed.”
“I’m sorry to have woken you.” Reaching up, his hand caressed the side of her face and Selena leaned into him. “I don’t know what I was thinking.” Now his hand was on her slender neck and curling around to the back. “I just needed to see you.”
And then he was kissing her—soft, feathery kisses on her lips. He wanted to take it slow after the way he had behaved the other night and in the utility closet, but then Selena leaned into him even more, and James knew that he was lost.
Pulling back slightly, Selena looked up at his face. “You look exhausted,” she whispered as he started placing kisses on her cheek and neck.
“I haven’t slept in years,” he admitted hoarsely.
With that, she took his hand and led him toward her bedroom. Once inside, she closed the door and removed her robe. She never said a word. Climbing into the bed, still clad in her T-shirt, she pulled back the covers on the opposite side indicating where she wanted him.
“Ah, Selena,” he said on a sigh, “I want nothing more than to just be near you.” He removed his shirt, then shoes and socks. “It’s been so long, sweetheart, since I’ve held you.” He removed his jeans, but left on his briefs and then climbed in beside her. “Selena…”
“Shh,” she said softly. “Sleep. We’ll talk in the morning.” He lay down and pulled her close. She snuggled into his warmth, and together they relaxed and fell into a deep sleep.
* * *
James woke to a feeling of moisture on his chest. Opening his eyes and looking down, he found Selena’s head on his shoulder and tears streaming down her face. He tucked a finger under her chin, forcing her to look up at him. “Selena? What’s wrong?”
She sniffled delicately and tried to wipe at the tears, but James stroked a finger down her cheek, doing it for her. “I thought I was dreaming. I woke up in your arms and…I thought I had imagined you coming here last night. I was afraid to believe…”
“Shh,” he said, placing a finger gently over her lips. “Don’t cry.”
“I can’t help it. You have no idea how many times I dreamed of this, and I still can’t believe it’s really happening, that you’re really here. I’ve missed you so much.”
James studied her face, completely at a loss for something to say. In his wildest dreams, he had never imagined Selena saying she’d missed him; hell, he hadn’t been sure she ever even thought about him anymore. Her brutal honesty proved otherwise, and it completely destroyed him. “I’ve missed you too,” he said hoarsely. “You’re not alone in this; I still can’t believe I’m waking up beside yo
u, either.”
He continued to watch her as the small smile played at her lips even as indecision warred in her eyes. There were so many things he wanted to say and imagined that Selena felt the same. Coming here and being here with her like this probably wasn’t wise, and yet he didn’t have the strength to change a thing.
Leaning up on one elbow, she glanced at the bedside clock. “It’s almost eight. Do you need to be at work this morning?”
He shook his head. “Not until noon. Trying to get rid of me already?” He was only partially joking; deep down, he was afraid that was exactly what she was trying to do.
Placing a hand over his heart, Selena looked deep into his eyes. “No. No, I’m not trying to get rid of you. I just don’t want to make you late for work.” After yesterday, she probably was being too kind, too forgiving, but now that he was here with her, lying beside her, she lost the battle within herself to hold a grudge.
“Don’t worry; we have plenty of time.” The way her eyes widened had James smiling with male appreciation. With their being intimately tangled together, what they could do with their time was obvious. However, he would be a gentleman, finally, and he was going to take his cues from her on how their time was going to play out.
The small smile she’d been wearing turned a bit sexy as her eyes held his. He watched as she opened her mouth to say something but immediately closed it. James arched a brow at her. “What? Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I know that the right thing to do is to get up, order some breakfast, and talk…” she began hesitantly.
“But…” he prompted.
“But,” she said, averting her eyes, “I’m not ready to let this moment go yet.”
It wasn’t quite what he was hoping she’d say, and yet he understood completely. “Me either,” he admitted softly. Once again, he tucked a finger under her chin to get her to look at him. “I have no right to be here with you like this, and yet I can’t seem to make myself regret it. If it were up to me, we’d be making love right now.”
One of the many things that Selena had loved about James all those years ago was that he was honest. The fact that he said exactly what was on his mind, and if she were honest, on hers too, showed they were still somewhat in sync with one another.
Tired of playing it safe, tired of wondering what might have been, Selena did the most brazen thing she could ever remember doing. “Then why aren’t we?”
A wicked grin crossed James’s face. One large hand gently caressed her cheek and the slender column of her throat before inching around to the nape of her neck. In the blink of an eye, as it had been each time they’d been together recently, past and present collided. Slowly, he drew her face closer to his. He watched as Selena’s eyes began to drift closed. “Sweetheart, all you had to do was ask.”
Self-control was always something James had prided himself on, but at this moment it completely escaped him. The taste and feel of her lips was familiar, the way her body pressed against his was like coming home, and yet the need to possess her, right here, right now, was so overwhelming that he was trembling.
Without warning, he changed their positions so he was the one on top, looking down into her beautiful green eyes. His hands began to wander, reacquainting himself with her body as his eyes scanned her face. “You were always so beautiful,” he said huskily. “It doesn’t seem possible that you’ve grown even more so.” He brought a hand back up to caress her face and watched her eyes drift closed once again. “So damn beautiful.”
He kissed her eyelids, her cheeks, and then returned to her lips, which sighed out his name. He was beyond aroused; Selena’s legs slid up to wrap around his waist. It would be so easy to just shove what little they wore aside and take and give what they both seemed to desperately want—what they had always wanted.
James took a fortifying breath. “I want you to know that I didn’t come here for this.” There was a hint of defensiveness in his voice, but he wanted her to know that no matter how they had gotten to this moment, it was not premeditated.
Selena opened her eyes and reached up to caress his roughened jaw and smiled. “I know that. I know that we have a lot to—”
“Shh…” He placed a finger over her lips. “No more talking. What I was getting at was that…I didn’t come prepared for this.”
She instantly knew what he was referring to and breathed a sigh of relief. “No worries. I’m good.”
“So you’re on—”
Now it was her turn to place a finger over his lips. “No more talking.”
It was a long time before either of them could utter a coherent word.
Chapter 6
It was a little after eleven when James reluctantly rose from the bed. Ten years ago, he had known they were sexually compatible, and the last three hours proved that time hadn’t changed that one bit. If anything, it was better. He hadn’t thought that was even humanly possible.
The sight of Selena sprawled out on the bed with a sheet tangled around her had him wanting to say to hell with work. His heart was telling him to stay, but the rational side of him knew they both needed a little time to let what had just happened sink in. Plus, as much as he would have liked to put it off forever, there was a lot about their past that they had to talk about.
Just the thought of their past made his gut clench. Looking down at her now, however, James had a hard time reconciling the girl who had all but destroyed him with the woman who had completely rocked his world for the last several hours. It was hard to put the two together, and he knew if he was going to remain sane throughout the day, he was going to have to temporarily let it go.
Selena stretched, and James grinned as the sheet slipped just enough to bare one breast. God, she is breathtaking. His fingers twitched with the need to reach out and touch her again, but he forced himself to begin getting dressed.
“What time is it?” she asked sleepily.
James took a minute to put his belt back on before he answered. Even her voice was sexy, and it tied him in knots. “About eleven. I need to go home and shower and change before heading to work.” Doing his best to keep a little bit of distance between them, he sat down on the bed. “What are you doing today?”
She sat up and pushed her hair away from her face before letting out a big yawn. “I am hoping to go see my grandmother today. She doesn’t know I’m in town, so she’s going to be surprised.”
“Do you think that’s a good idea? She’s kind of old, isn’t she?”
“What is it with you and Jen? I don’t plan on waking her up with a marching band and scaring the life out of her,” she said with a laugh. “I’m going to call her when I’m on my way and hopefully have lunch with her.”
“I hate to break it to you, but she probably is having lunch right now. You’ll do better having an early dinner with her. You know, around four o’clock.”
Selena playfully punched him in the arm. “I know it’s true, but it just sounds mean! We’ll see how the day goes.” She stretched. “Jen’s supposed to call me when she gets done with work. I’m really worried about her. Any chance of finding this guy soon?”
James shook his head. “I have no idea. We’re looking for him, and eventually, he’ll have to come home.” Unable to help himself, he reached over and took one of her hands in his. “Will you be checking out of here today and going back to Jen’s?” He hated that there was a desperate edge to his voice. He felt needy and vulnerable, and it scared him.
“I’m not sure. I was hoping that…maybe…” she began uncertainly. “Maybe you’d come back after work, and we can sit down and…talk.”
There were at least a dozen different things James would want to do if he came back here later, but he knew she was right. It was time. He turned her hand in his. “I think that’s a good idea.” Somewhere deep inside, he knew there was a really good chance that their finally having to deal with t
he past would ruin any hope of a future for them.
Was that what he wanted? A future with Selena? A few weeks ago he would have said no, that he needed to confront her and that would finally get her out of his system. That whole concept had flown out the window the moment he’d seen her again.
He shook his head; he was getting way ahead of himself. They needed to have this time together tonight to talk, to clear the air, and then he could think about where they could go from here. “I probably won’t get here until nine.”
“That’s fine. Maybe if I have that early dinner with my grandmother, I can meet Jen for some dessert and make sure she’s doing all right. I wish she would have stayed here with me, but I think being away from her house was causing her even more stress. I can’t imagine what she must be feeling.”
“She’s been looking over her shoulder for a long time now,” James said wearily. “I wish this guy would make a mistake so that we could end this for her. Hopefully it won’t be too much longer. I sent Mike over to check on her last night.” He looked up and saw the sly smile on her face. “What? What was that smile about?”
What the heck? she thought to herself, throwing caution to the wind. “Actually, she’s kinda got a crush on Mike.”
“Seriously?”
Selena nodded.
“Because I think he’s kind of into her too,” James said.
“No!”
Now it was James’s turn to nod. “I’m afraid to think about what went on there if he actually knocked on her door or just did a couple of drive-bys. I would hope he’d be professional and remember he’s on the job.”
“Damn. Now I’ll have to wait all day to find out!” She flopped back on the pillows. “Which do you think he would’ve done? The drive-by or actually stopping in?”
He shrugged. “I have no idea. I mentioned it to him, about her being back at the house, and he said he’d go by. He didn’t elaborate.”
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