“Why do you ask?”
He shrugged. “I would imagine that if there is any kind of crisis and it’s reunion related, it would be fairly easy to handle. I mean, you’re right here and you could hop in the car and meet with whomever it was that you’d need to. If it’s something with your business back home, then I’d say you’d have a lot more phone calls to make to work it all out.”
“I’m not expecting a crisis of any kind in either place. The committee for the reunion has been amazing, and really, I think if I hadn’t shown up, everything would have gone off without a hitch. There are more people working on this event than are actually needed, and the mystery benefactor who donated the money for the whole thing was beyond generous. I’m not used to having such a lavish budget on an event. I’m really more of a figurehead at this point. Jen just knew exactly how to play it to get me here.”
He reached across the table and took one of her hands in his. “I’m glad she did.” His tone was serious, and he meant it. When Jen had first come to see him at the station and told him that Selena was coming home to chair the reunion committee, James never would have imagined that they’d be sitting together in a hotel restaurant, holding hands and making plans for a day together.
Selena’s delight at his admission brought a smile to her face. “Me too.” They sat like that for several minutes before she finally cleared her throat. “We better finish up so I can make those calls, and we can be on our way.” Her meal was just about finished and her mind was already racing with all the questions she needed to ask and have answered. Getting herself out of work mode now was a near impossibility.
“Care to give me a hint as to where we’re going?”
She shook her head. “It’s a surprise.”
In James’s opinion, not all surprises were good ones. Where he and Selena were concerned, the jury was still out. He hoped that they were done with their bad luck and were on to something that should have been theirs years ago. He did his best to refocus on the moment. “I guess while you’re making your calls, I’ll call the station and get an update on Jen’s case. With any luck, there’ll be some good news.”
“Oh, James, do you really think so?” He wished he could give her a definitive answer to put her mind at ease.
“I don’t want to get your hopes up and then have you call Jen and get her hopes up, but yeah. I think we should have some good news today.” He could see the indecision on Selena’s face, and he reached out once again to take her hand. “You are not allowed to call Jen and say anything yet. Let me get the all-clear and then I’ll let you be the one to call her.”
She sighed dramatically. “You have no idea what you’re asking.”
“I certainly do, and I would appreciate you having some self-control.” His eyes twinkled as he said the words, and when Selena looked up at him, he saw the same emotion reflected there.
“I believe I already told you my point of view on self-control.”
He nodded. “Yes, you did.”
She leaned in toward him. “I may need a little…motivation…to keep me from picking up the phone and calling her.”
“Check please!”
* * *
They made it to the room but never made it to the bed. Even now, as James pulled his shirt back over his head, he was a little stunned. As soon as the door to their room had been closed, Selena had all but destroyed him in the most pleasurable of ways.
He sat down on the couch and watched as she smiled over her shoulder at him with her phone to her ear. She was going to take the call in the bedroom because there was a desk in there that had all of her paperwork on it that he had seen earlier. The door wasn’t closed completely, but he couldn’t really hear what she was saying anyway.
Taking out his own phone, he called the station to get the update on Jen’s case. He spoke briefly to Mike and found out that Todd had possibly been spotted that morning in Jen’s part of town. It wasn’t much, but Mike assured him that he was going to follow up on it himself and get back to him. The call ended way too quickly, and now James had to pass the time until Selena was done with her own calls. With his phone still in his hand, he scrolled through his contacts until he came to Ryder. He didn’t normally initiate calls to any member of his family; he waited for them to call him. But today, for some reason, James felt the need to reach out to his brother.
“Just so you know,” Ryder said as he answered the phone, “I’ve got Casey sitting beside me with her finger poised on the 9-1-1 button.”
James chuckled. “Any particular reason why?”
“You’re calling,” Ryder said simply. “I figure it’s one of three things. One, somebody is dead. Being that I’ve spoken to everyone in our family in the last couple of days, I’m guessing that’s not it. Two, you’ve got a terminal disease and you’re calling to make amends and wax poetic on how much you’ve missed me. Or three, hell is freezing over as we speak.”
“You know,” James said with just a hint of annoyance, “with greetings like that, is it any wonder I don’t call more often?”
Ryder couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay, okay, I’ll tell Casey to put the phone away,” he said lightly. “So what’s up?”
James shrugged even though he knew his brother couldn’t see him. “Nothing. Can’t a guy call his brother without it being such a big deal?”
“Where you’re concerned, no. You never call. I can actually count on one hand the number of times you’ve called me in the last five years. So seriously, what’s going on?”
Standing, James moved across the room to ensure that he wouldn’t disrupt Selena’s business calls. Raking a hand through his hair in frustration, he began to pace. “Remember the girl I told you about at Mac’s wedding? Well, she’s not a girl, really. I mean, she’s a grown woman now but when we dated she was just…”
“Yeah, I got it,” Ryder said lightly. “I remember you talking about her. Selena, right?”
“Well, I’m here with her right now,” James said quietly.
“Really? Dude, that’s great! How is it going? Did you call her? Did she call you? Where are you?”
“I’m at the Marriott hotel, not far from me. Selena’s in the other room making some calls.”
“A hotel, huh? Nice!”
“You are so immature,” James said.
“So you’re telling me that you’re at the Marriott with Selena and you’re just hanging out? As friends. Nothing more.”
“Okay, I didn’t say that, but when you say it, you make it sound seedy and crude. And it’s not. It’s not like that. It’s…it’s just…”
“Wow,” Ryder said as he chuckled. “You really got it bad. I didn’t think it was possible.”
“Shit,” James muttered and sat down on the chair by the window. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this, you know? I thought I’d see her, we’d clear the air about our history with one another, and maybe there’d still be a hint of attraction there.”
“It seems to me like there is, so what’s the problem?”
“The problem is that it’s not just a hint; it’s a full-blown, right-there-in-your-face attraction that has me by the throat.” Laying his head back, James sighed. “I’m not sure what the hell I’m supposed to do here.”
Ryder was silent for a long moment.
“You should take things slow,” he finally said. “Have you guys talked about everything that happened?”
“Yeah, and while it certainly cleared things up a lot, it doesn’t make anything about our present situation any better.”
“What do you mean?”
“She lives in North Carolina now. She has a business there. A life. I have zero interest in doing a long-distance relationship thing. The way I see it, we’ve already lost so much damn time out of our lives together. I’m not looking to waste time flying back and forth every other weekend or whatever to spend time tog
ether.”
“North Carolina, huh? Kind of a coincidence, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, yeah…I knew you’d latch on to that fact.”
“Look, you’ve lived apart from everyone since you were sixteen. Are you telling me that your life on Long Island is so great that you’re willing to possibly lose out on a second chance with the woman you love?”
“Whoa…wait. Slow down. I didn’t say I was in love with her.” Not really.
This time Ryder laughed out loud. “Dude, you didn’t have to. The fact that you’re calling me, combined with everything you’ve just said, said it for you. So answer the question: is your life there worth missing out on the life you claim you wanted?”
James didn’t know how to answer that. He had created a life for himself here. It was a good life and it was all his own. He didn’t have to answer to anyone, and there wasn’t anyone around to tell him he was a disappointment. Could he really go back to that? Was being with Selena worth what he was going to have to risk?
Rather than answer, James asked a question of his own. “Why do I have to be the one to move? Seems to me she was the one who left. Shouldn’t she be the one to come back?”
“You seriously did not just say that,” Ryder said with disbelief. “You’re still so damn stubborn, you know that?”
“Me? What the hell did I do?”
“You were always bucking authority; it had to be your way or no way. How has that worked out for you?” Ryder didn’t wait for a response. “You didn’t like living under Dad’s roof and playing by his rules, so you left. In all the years since then, I’ve hardly heard from you, and when I did, it didn’t seem like your life was all that great. You’re still working for somebody else, having to take their shit and follow their damn rules. You work too much and you have no social life!”
“Now just a minute…”
“Face it, man, you’re no better off than if you’d just stayed and worked for Dad. All you did was replace the person you were reporting to.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it!” James snapped. “I’m my own damn person! I may have a boss, but my life is my own. When I clock out at the end of my shift, no one is standing there telling me how I didn’t do enough or how everything I did was wrong. That’s why I left! I was never good enough for Dad. I’m damn good at my job; what I do makes a difference. Can you say the same about what you do?”
“Okay, okay, I think we’ve gotten off track here—”
“Funny, you were okay as long as you had me under the microscope.”
Ryder sighed. “Look, I didn’t mean for this to turn into a pissing match. The point I was trying to make was that if Selena means that much to you, you could make a life for the two of you back here in North Carolina, doing whatever you want. You’ve proved your point. No one expects you to come to work for the company. All that matters is that you’re happy—that you and Selena are happy together.”
James doubted it was that easy. “I just don’t know, Ryder. Maybe I’m getting too far ahead of myself. We only talked about everything last night.”
* * *
Ryder couldn’t help but grin. Wait until he called his uncle and let him know what was going on. Twenty-four hours in, and James was already thinking about a future with Selena. That may be a Montgomery matchmaking record. “Then slow down and see where things go. Just…don’t be…you know, you.”
“What the hell does that mean?”
“It means that you’re not the only one who gets a say, and you’re not the only one who has a life to consider. You need to be willing to compromise.”
“That’s what I’m afraid of,” James said miserably.
Yup, he has it bad, Ryder thought. “Not all compromises are bad. Promise me that you’ll keep an open mind.”
“Fine, I’ll try to keep an open mind.”
“That’s not what I said,” Ryder teased. “Promise me.”
James growled into the phone. “Okay, fine. I promise to keep an open mind.”
“Good boy. Now, go on and spend some time with Selena and don’t let this be the one and only time you pick up the phone and call me. I miss you, man.”
James rolled his eyes. “Don’t go getting all emotional on me. I think Casey’s pregnancy hormones are wearing off on you.”
Ryder laughed. “I wouldn’t doubt it. But seriously, James, keep in touch.”
It was a simple enough request, but for the first time in a long time, it seemed possible.
“I will.”
* * *
It was much later in the day than Selena had planned when they finally left the hotel. For a while there, she wasn’t sure she’d ever get to making all her calls. Making love with James had only gotten better, and it seemed they were still well matched because not only were their bodies still completely in sync with one another, but their need for one another was also exactly the same.
“Are you going to tell me where we’re going now?” James asked, sitting in the passenger seat of Selena’s rental car and not particularly caring for it. He was all but pouting.
“Don’t be such a baby,” she scolded gently. “I’ve only been there once before myself and I wanted to go again, and I really wanted you to be the one to go with me.”
The more she spoke, the more confused he became. All he could say with any great certainty was that they were going someplace; other than that, he was lost. They drove in silence and headed toward the north side of the island. He was familiar with the area; it was where he lived now. Was that where she was taking him? Had she found out his address and wanted to see his home? Maybe he should have thought of that and invited her over to maybe stay with him while she was here, rather than keeping her reservation at the hotel. He’d have to talk to her about that possibility later.
As the miles flew by and they drove through Smithtown, where he lived, that theory flew out the window. They were on the outskirts of town, heading closer and closer to the water and toward Nissequogue. He glanced over at Selena as she continued to drive in silence. As far as he knew, they had never been over here, nor had she ever mentioned any connection to this area.
She put the turn signal on, and he looked up to see that they were turning into a small Presbyterian church parking lot. When she turned off the car, James noticed she had a white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel even though the car was off. “Are you okay?” he asked quietly. Turning her head, she looked at him, her complexion pale. “We don’t have to be here, you know that, right?”
* * *
It took a moment for her to be able to respond. Nodding silently, Selena felt a wave of panic begin to wash over her. What was she doing here? Why did she think this was a good idea, and why would she bring James here with her? What had seemed like a good idea, part of their healing process, now threatened to choke her. Her body began to tremble, and she suddenly felt as if she couldn’t breathe. “I can’t,” she finally said and went to start the car again. “This was a mistake,” she stammered. “I’m sorry.” James’s hand over hers stopped her.
“What’s going on?” he inquired softly, doing his best to not scare her.
Selena turned to him, her green eyes a little wide and wild. She knew he was curious, and by the look on his face, she also knew that he was doing his best to calm and soothe her. “I thought I could do this. It seemed like the right thing to do, but now I…I’m not sure that I can.”
“Okay, okay,” he said calmly and took the keys from her hands. “Tell me about this place. Did you used to go to church here?” He relaxed against his seat as if he had all the time in the world to talk with her.
“No.” She shook her head. “My grandmother used to. Actually, I think she still comes when she can, and she’s been a member here for most of my life, but our family was never a part of this church.”
“Did you used to come with her oc
casionally—like holidays or something?”
A small smile crept across her face and she seemed to settle a little bit. “When I was a little girl, I used to spend the weekends with my grandmother. My parents would drop me off on Friday nights and take me home after dinner on Sundays. We used to work in her garden and go shopping or whatever it was that we felt like doing on Saturdays, and then on Sundays, she’d take me to church with her.”
“That sounds like a wonderful memory.” James remembered a time when he used to spend holidays and weekends with his family, when he was younger, when life wasn’t so complicated and it wasn’t all about carrying on the Montgomery name. For years, he hadn’t allowed himself to remember the good times they’d had together, instead focusing on the pressure and the arguments about falling in line and doing what was expected of him. Funny how one conversation with Ryder and spending time with Selena made him realize his life hadn’t been all that bad.
“It was. On those weekends together, we would talk and laugh, and we were more like friends than grandmother and granddaughter.”
“You saw her the other day, right?” he asked and Selena nodded. “Did you want to come here because visiting with her reminded you of the times you used to come here together?”
“No,” she said sadly. “I needed to come here because it was time.” Taking a steadying breath, Selena climbed from the car and breathed in the cool air. The property still looked the same, and when she turned, she was surprised to find James already by her side. Wordlessly, he took her hand in his as they began to walk toward the grounds behind the church.
James was expecting a cemetery; maybe there was a family member buried here whom she felt the need to pay her respects to. As they stepped from asphalt to grass, all he could see were large trees, rolling green fields, and a large greenhouse. A sense of longing overtook him as he remembered the time in his life when having his own greenhouse, working with the land, and making something beautiful out of it had been all that he wanted. Was that what this was all about? Was she trying to remind him of the past that he had given up?
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