Babe, I am confused
I don't know which way to go,
If your heart is so complicated.
I always tell you I love you, care for you
Maybe I don’t show,
Maybe you don’t know.
You tell me to love another,
And that you’re leaving;
And this is your decision
And there’s nothing I can do.
Have it your way, Babe
For there’s nothing I can do:
If you want to go alone,
And you love it away from me,
My love will still remain
‘Coz even though your love is complicated
I have learnt how to love a complicated heart
Here wit’ me you have a home.
She Left
The more I think of her
It’s the more I want her
Yet I can’t get
What she said outta my mind,
That she’s taking leave
And she wants to depart
Take some time alone;
I let go, let go of her.
I pray this is a dream,
Of course it’s a dream
And I know I’ll wake up
From this sleep, stop dreaming
When I see no more of her.
True Love
Time was passing away
Desire consuming me by the day,
Yearning for warmth
Longing for love to come along;
Longing for love to come along
where could I have gotten this love?
Who could’ve given me this love?
Who else except you, my love—
You gave my life a brand new beginning, a meaning.
You gave my life a brand new beginning, a meaning
Love is no longer the bubble-gum myth
existing only in movies and novels
‘Cause it happened to me
True love I mean.
True love I mean
I gave my heart to you
That day of our meeting, and
You gave me your heart
That day for cherishing
For it happened to us
Love I mean, the true one
When I found you my love.
Deceptions
I try not to remember
Yet I watch the smouldering embers
Of what used to be the fire
Of my desire for you
And I guess I’ll never be fooled again;
Every little thing I ever did
It was because of love
The love I believed was from above
The love that made me believe in love.
Wit’ the clouds I kissed the heavens
Wit’ the fog I hugged the oceans
only to realize too late I was part of the story,
the treacherous story of your deception.
Everything I did was for love
and now I know it’s over
I’ll never be fooled again.
Babe, you should’ve told me
When you’re taken
When you didn’t need me there
Now the pain is so excruciating
Hating the memories;
You lied and called me babe
I should’ve known I wasn’t part of you
And now that it’s over
I’ll never be fooled again.
To Love Again
I’m standing in the front yard
watching distant road
wishing I could see you from a distance
Drive through the gate, and
Walk up the front steps
and hug me the way you used to.
I’m sitting at the balcony
Wishing you were by my side
To watch the sunset together,
Hoping to see but just your ghost
To tell me that you’d be coming back
I want you to come back
I’m the one who wants to love you again.
I’m the one who wants to love you again
This lonely loneliness barters to maim,
I can’t watch a thousand sunsets alone
Or with someone else
My eyes will dry up forever.
Since you walked out the door
I haven’t been able to help the pain
I just realized I threw it all
Nothing can stop this emotion
Come, I want to love you again.
Come, I want to love you again
From distrust I shall refrain
I know what I have to gain
Nothing more I can’t contain
Nothing more I can’t obtain
Come for love so plain
The love you once craved
This love can’t be graved.
This love can’t be graved
Come, touch me once again
Crawl back to the darkest recesses of my heart
In there light that lamp
Never to be doused
Sorry, I’m the one to blame.
I’m so rich of very many things but shame
I would not stop till that moment you come
back to the arms you love
to the arms where you belong
Come, I want you to love me again.
Never Ever
Never ever had I an illusion than that of love
Never ever had I a feeling than that of love
Never ever had I been worried than for love
Never ever had I lied than ‘cause of love
Never ever had I been an al desko than for love
Never ever had I cried than because of love
Never ever had I been stupid than when in love
Never ever had I been a recessionista than for love
Never ever had I been an infomania than for love.
Never ever had I wined than when I was in love
Never ever had I wanted to forget than how to love
Never ever had I been heartbroken than by love
Never ever had I vowed than never ever to love.
Missing You
You said that in a few days
I would barely remember your name
It’s now over five years since then
And I can’t get over wit’ it.
Every time I want to pick up the phone
and talk to you till the sun comes up
tell you how I miss you
I’m missing you so...
Before my eyes
you fade away like smoke wisps.
Since you said it’s over between us
Time has been measured in bitter chapters
In the night I hear the whistles and laughter
Of your voice as when we opened the chapter
Of that book we were to write
Our happily thereafter;
I miss you so.
Babe, what happened to the vow you made
to be there in the turf for the long haul?
You know I want to be there to huddle and cuddle
I want to come but time gets away from me
Perhaps I should quit this job,
But I can’t just do it my love
That’s what I am
I miss you so.
Hope
Babe,
The passion
The affection
The liaison
The situation
Of our union
Surely babe
This drives me crazy;
I revere, and dream
Hope all along
You are mine.
The Sonnet
In mine heart is love I do cherish
The kind of love never meant to perish;
The kind of love that will never be graved
In mine heart it shall thrive;
Never before had I had such grace
Until you came along pretty G
race;
Since that day, Love, it has been you
As I walk daily to cross the stream
To be with you twenty-four seven
Everything in my life has evened out;
I want to tell you the story of my life
And dance wit’ you to the tunes of love;
Find repose in your bosom and you in my arms
And forever thrive in the charm.
(14th June, 2009)
The Crime
What more a crime
than the love you killed?
What more a delusion
than the illusion of love?
The love I had for you
and so bloodily killed.
Cold Love
It’s years since I met you.
I began by counting days
then months, now it’s years
I care of nothing anymore
Except hoping against hope
One day you’ll come back to me.
Since the very first day I saw you
Life has been a fight
to change you beyond all reckoning
and make you see I really do love you.
I think of the transient moments between us
Reminisce of the stolen times
Moments restricted only to the phone
And wish I could repair them,
Wish I said the right things.
I hate my delusional heart
the things I said
when I came with my naive heart
to you, my favourite winter love;
What’s gonna thaw that ice
Packed around thy heart
If my love won’t?
Holy Emotions
I was afraid and guilty of sin
I was corrupting an innocent mind
that day I met you.
That day I met you
my heart leapt with divine joy
that a soul as gentle as you was created
for I was to escape
from the stinging slum of hypocrites.
If it were enough to sit without words
what do you think I wouldn’t have told you?
How I wished you would just go away
Never to come back again!
I should’ve listened to your plea then
I should have known right from the start
mine were just holy emotions.
Since that day
I just feel,
I count on the words we shared
Deep down they burn like fire
Knowing that I love you
Yet you can’t
I ought not to feel that way
Men of the cloth don’t
Theirs are holy emotions.
War of Love
I am a fighter but I don’t fight
I’m besieged,
I wasn’t prepared for this war
Yet I realise I must fight
Be in the battlefield
And risk losing
Than those who lurk behind.
When you were about to lose
I thought I was about to win
But yours was deception;
You ensnared me
And I lost the war,
Yet I’m in the battlefield
Won by those who lurked behind.
Now I find myself alone
At the end of my wits
I can’t fight any more
I’ve lost the war
Yet I’m in the battlefield
Won by those who lurked behind;
You’ve shattered my will to fight
Lost you to another lover
Lost this war of love
But I promised;
Now I wait as I promised
Yet I know I lost the war a long time ago.
Lost in Love
I used to think
I was in love
But now I know
Love never came my way
It’s one big illusion.
I’m not in love
Yet I want to fly like a dove
I feel I am in love
Yet I know I’m not in love
Only to realize I do love
There’s no need to run from love.
I thought I had met her
the only girl I ever knew
but now I know
Girls never ever came my way
It’s an illusion
I was lost in love
But can’t run from love.
The Quest
Seven years now since then
I have lived in pain
Seven years before you walked out
I couldn’t believe you would
Seven years I have tried my best
To make this work
Seven years of loneliness
I couldn’t stay without you
Seven years in a quest
To look for one like you
Seven years I’ve found none
Getting those who can’t afford to be seen.
Seven years later I’m back
this my humble request
please, bury the past.
My last thread of hope: I put my faith in you
If you’re fighting with yourself, stop fighting
I must accept maybe you’ll not return
But I want to end this quest
Maybe I should learn how to live on my own
But with love that I’ve kept for you
It’s true from my fruitless quest
You are one in a million.
Crazy About You
Just a touch and there’s no way back
Can hardly believe it
I could feel this way
For anyone;
Just a kiss and there’s no way back
There’s a feeling inside me
Making me go crazy.
This feeling is real
When I lie on your bosom
I feel more than at home;
You open up my heart
To love you more and more
It’s all I want to do.
Every time you touch me I melt away
Oh babe, can hardly believe it yeah
I could feel this way for a lifetime
Every time you touch me
It’s all I want to do
Every time you kiss me
I feel melting away
Burning my heart
Going crazy about you.
(For Liebichen)
First Kiss
With no hope of reaching you I write to you
I hope you will hear my silent voice,
I want to break that ice packed around your heart;
I am a victim of overwhelming nostalgia,
I want to go back to that day, my dear
That day all hell broke loose;
Apologize for whatever happened
‘Coz of my desire for the desire of my lips
The longing and desire for that first kiss
That kiss so brusque yet lasts forever,
That kiss I madly craved for but never got
That kiss that made you walk out the door.
How was I to know, you never told me?
Every day I had been waiting, longing
every day I had desired, yearning
Languishing to taste the lips of my desire
if you could see my inside that day...
If I had any goodness I lost it that day
I desired the first kiss, the kiss I never got.
Lonely
Sitting up in my room
Wondering what’s gonna become of me
Bobby Womack’s on the radio
Singing to me
“If you think you’re lonely now”
I think of “We Belong Together”
Wait a minute this is different
Akon picks up saying...
“Can’t believe I had a girl like you
And I just let you
walk out of ma’ life…”
I must say it, babe
I’ve never been so lonely in my life;
Everything I look at
everything I touch
the air around
where you used to do your hair
Reminds me of what used to be
The emptiness of everything
Reminds me of how lonely I am
Tells me that I threw it all
And that’s why I am lonely.
Sitting up in my room
Hoping against all hope
That I’m not lonely but alone
Yet I know it’s not true;
What then? I threw it all
and there’s nothing I can do.
I know you said it’s over
All I want you to know is
you truly loved me babe
and I just let you walk out
I’m so lonely...
In Love
It just happens
Once in a lifetime, or so they say,
That feeling we all desire
When the scent of romance smells
And the glory of beauty on you shines
Something as intense and joyous
Yet sorrowful as love is aroused
It seems proof like no other
That nothing exists but the joy of love
You are not living but are alive
You become a singer of rhythm of love
You believe you fly with wings of a dove
That’s when you know you are not in love
But you’re in love, and you love it.
Crime of Love
A mastermind you are my love
the most wanted for crime of love;
You robbed me of my heart
And so far away you ran my love.
Efforts so futile are mine
to take you down
I keep on missing you
despite my marksmanship…
I miss and love you, my love.
As long as the world goes round
I long to live not to be astound
to find you no longer lust for my love to gorge
my love for you is as hot as blacksmith’s forge.
I Love You
In a strange world full of strangers;
Love couldn’t be found from any other
Oh darlin’
Verily from the deepest of my heart
Entrenched like no other
You’ve to hear it all, I Love You
Oh thou who’s sent from above
Unscathed shall it in me live this love.
I Watched Her Leave
I listened to her recede from our love nest.
When she’d given me the Miss Dump treatment
A heart’s fruit of a holy love rejected
That love I have always had it dejected
Christ, my soul has never been so dark
Heartbroken, into the silver love sea sun sank
Everything within me came to a standstill
Death of a love I’d thought it never will.
Hours later her silent voice in me echoed
Ethereal reality of it overwhelmed mine heart
Realms of once sweet life seemed so cruel.
Like an artillery salvo she had startled me
Especially by her cold silence
And then I watched her figure shimmer away;
Vexed since I’d done nothing wrong
Everything now has turned to mere nonentity.
At Last We Met
Past to me was that fateful day
when I watched her walk away
and could do nothing to make her stay
not that I did not do my best
to make her come back
Holy Emotions Page 2