He’d believed she was going to take Nathaniel up on his offer. How could he possibly think that? After she’d promised to always stay with him? After she’d responded so enthusiastically to his lovemaking?
Shirley chanced a glance at Luke and watched him chew his food. He seemed lost in thought. Either that or he’d vowed not to look directly at her. But his hair fell over his brow and she wanted to push it back, caress his cheek and squeeze his shoulder. Good Lord, she was smitten.
“How was the shop today?” her father asked, barely glancing up from his food.
“Slow,” Luke said. He took a sip of water and pushed his peas around his plate. “Had a few customers.”
Chuck nodded with a sigh. “Seems that mercantile is getting all the good business these days. They got more pull over there. They can import all kinds of exotic things from back east. Not sure how much longer we can hold out.”
For the first time in her life, Shirley looked upon her father as an old man. He’d always been the strong one, the one she’d turned to after her mother’s death. The man no one could beat. Being a retired bounty hunter, no one could pull a fast one on her father.
But his health was declining, almost as quickly as his shop, as if all he had left to live for had been pulled out from underneath his feet.
“We’ll be all right,” Shirley said with a grin. She took her father’s hand. “You’ll see. We’ll pull through. We always do.”
Chuck looked Luke in the eye for a good long time. She didn’t know what passed between them, but Luke seemed to nod slightly. Before she could inquire about it, her father scooted from the table.
“That was delicious, honey. Your mother would be proud.”
“You’ve barely eaten a bite of your beef,” she answered. “Won’t you have another biscuit?”
“No, I think I’ll retire for the evening.”
“A-all right.” Shirley fought hard to ward off her tears. She’d never seen Chuck Bloom beaten so thoroughly. His frailty added a new depth to her own. She’d taken for granted that she’d always have her strong, strapping father in her life. Now, she wasn’t too sure.
Once he left the room, she scooted her chair back with a loud scrape and began to clear the dishes.
“You all right, filly?” Luke’s deep voice shuddered through her. Every emotion she’d felt throughout the day hit her all at once. She dropped the plates on the table and held the back of her hand to her mouth in an effort to stifle her cries.
Luke was out of his seat and holding her in his arms before she even knew he’d moved. She couldn’t fight him. His warmth, his scent surrounded her, comforting her from her own insecurities.
“Hey,” he whispered into her hair. “It’s all right. I got you.”
“Luke…”
His hand pressed her head against his shoulder. “I’m here.”
“I’m so worried.”
“About what?” He kissed the top of her head.
“About my father’s health. This shop.” She paused. “And us.”
He pulled back to look warily into her eyes.
She continued on before he could say a word. “I want you to trust me.”
“I trust you,” Luke said, his voice soft, yet firm.
“No, you don’t. Not yet. I don’t have a way of proving you can trust me. I’m not strong enough to tie you down and make you believe it. But…you’re my husband. You. Not Nathaniel, not Christopher. I do not long for them. I do not even think of them. Not any more. Not since you.”
He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.
“I ran from you once,” she whispered, threading her fingers through his hair. “It was the biggest mistake of my life. You forced your way inside of me and made me realize exactly what I wanted.”
Shirley swallowed hard and held her heart in her hands. “My God, Luke. I think I’m in love with you.”
Nineteen
Her words blindsided him. The room seemed to reel and his stomach fluttered. But the look in her eyes stole his very breath away. He’d never been confronted by a woman’s love before. Her lust, her passion. But never her love. He didn’t know what to say.
“That’s…nice, Shirley. That’s real nice.”
She stopped breathing. Her body tensed and her lovely features played a hundred emotions at once—shock, disbelief, but the greatest was hurt. With a gasp, she tore away from him and hugged her arms around herself.
He gestured toward her, as if to pull her back, but she stepped away. “I-I’m sorry. You caught me by surprise, that’s all.”
Shirley lifted her trembling chin and stared him down.
“I think it’s mighty fine, what you feel for me, filly.”
Dead silence greeted his words. She rounded the table warily, as if he might pounce on her. “When I was a little girl,” she murmured, her voice surprisingly steady with how violently she trembled. “I dreamt of the man I would give my heart to. He was handsome and kind, and loved me more than any other man in the world.”
She took a sharp breath and the tears in her eyes finally spilled over.
“I know now that it was never more than a silly girl’s dream!”
With that, she flounced out of the room. Panic welled inside of him. He followed her, grabbing her in the hall. Taking hold of her elbow, he forced her to face him.
“Now, wait just a damn minute,” he exclaimed, releasing his fear as anger. “You can’t unload that stick of dynamite on a man and expect him to fall at your feet.”
“Can’t I?” she shot right back. “What do you feel for me, Luke? Why did you pursue me so hard? You once told me I wasn’t a conquest to you but I’m beginning to think you’re a goddamn liar.”
“You watch your mouth.”
“I will not!” she cried. “By your own words you confessed you just wanted to sow your oats before you settled down. That’s all I was to you. A chaste virgin for you to deflower.”
“Shirley!” he yelled. “Don’t you dare take that tone with me.”
“Or what?” she taunted. “You’ll tie me up again? Teach me another lesson? Well, here’s a lesson for you, Lucas Roy Austin. I won’t stand for it anymore. I want all or nothing. If you don’t love me, then you can get the hell out!”
His brows shot up. He must have loosened his grasp on her arm in his surprise. She wiggled away from him and made her way to their bedroom door, slamming it behind her. The sound of the bolt sliding into place grated along his skin like a shovel digging a grave.
He stood there for a moment, trying to gain his bearings, before beating his fist on the door. “Let me in, Shirley.”
Silence.
He pounded again, harder this time. “Shirley!”
A warm, gentle hand touched his shoulder. Luke swung around so fast, he almost planted his fist in her father’s cheek.
“Yellin’ at her won’t get you anywhere,” Chuck said, nodding toward the door. “When my daughter’s in a mood, you just gotta back off.”
“But she’s being unreasonable. She won’t give me a chance to explain myself!”
“Back off, son. That’s all you can do for now. She’ll cool off by morning.”
Luke scoffed. “Morning? But that means—”
“It means you’ll likely sleep on the sofa tonight,” Chuck interrupted, nodding. “Shirley’s got an idea of what the world looks like through her rose-colored glasses. And when the truth finally meets her dreams, there’s likely hell to pay. Seems tonight, you’re on the shittin’ end.”
“She told me she loves me. She wanted me to say it back.”
“I’m assuming you didn’t?”
“I…didn’t know what to do. I said the first thing that came to mind.”
Chuck gave him a critical eye. “Do you love her?”
Luke scratched the back of his neck and let his breath out in a puff. “Don’t think I’ve figured that out yet,” he confessed, well aware her father’s threat about breaking her heart still hung between them.
/>
“Come with me, boy.” Chuck led Luke down the hall, out to the tiny sitting room, big enough only for a sofa, a rug, a small bookcase, and a wing-backed chair. He sat in the chair and indicated for Luke to take the sofa. “Man don’t chase a woman the way you chased my Shirley unless he’s over the moon about her. I knew you were makin’ eyes at each other at Lissa’s dinner party. Shocked me, I must say. You don’t seem the sort she usually takes a likin’ to.”
“That was my doing,” Luke said, glancing at his folded hands. “I kissed her a few days before Lissa invited you both over for dinner. She’d challenged me more than once and heaven help me, but she pulled me in like a moth to a flame. I wanted to get as close as I could.”
“Her gumption got ya?”
“I think it must have.”
Chuck grinned widely. “My Betty was just like her. Take you to task if she didn’t get her way. And she loved as fiercely as she made love.” Luke cleared his throat and chuckled, somewhat uncomfortable with Chuck’s reminiscing. “But God A’mighty, I adored that woman. Miss her somethin’ fierce.”
“I’m sorry for your loss,” Luke responded, just to have something to say.
“Thank you, son. Betty’s been gone awhile now. Sometimes I lie in bed and pray for the Good Lord to take me home. I wanna be with my girl again.” With a sniffle, Chuck’s eyes pierced him, refusing to let him go.
“You say you don’t know if you love my daughter. I want you to ask yourself, what would your life be like without her? If she died tomorrow, could you make it through another day? Has she become more important to you than your future? Your possessions? Your own life?”
The soft tick of the clock on the bookcase filled the silence. Luke absorbed Chuck’s words and silently asked himself those questions. An ache filled him, where there hadn’t been one before. Just the thought of losing Shirley sent a bolt of fear through his body that grabbed onto his heart and refused to let go.
Chuck stood and patted his shoulder once again. “I’ll leave you to think on what I’ve told you. But give her time. When she’s calmed, she’ll talk to you. She’ll be reasonable. Right now, she thinks you don’t care about her. You want her to keep on believin’ that?”
Once Chuck left, the room felt empty. Too empty. Luke kicked off his boots and lay back on the sofa, pulling the crocheted blanket that had been draped across it over his large frame. He stared at the ceiling while the clock ticked away, deep in thought.
Twenty
Shirley took a deep breath and opened her bedroom door. The sun had risen not too long before, and she’d spent most of the night crying into her pillow. She hadn’t realized how much she enjoyed sleeping in Luke’s arms until they were gone. Her eyes were puffy and she was exhausted. But chores needed to get done, and she was bound and determined to keep her father’s shop running.
Luke was nowhere to be found as she glanced into the sitting room. He’d slept there—the evidence was in the sloppily folded blanket her mother had stitched while she’d been ill. But at some point before dawn, Luke had roused and left. His absence pained her. As much as she didn’t want to confront her husband right now, Shirley couldn’t deny that she longed to see his bright, beautiful smile.
He didn’t love her. More tears threatened to cloud her vision. She angrily swiped them away. The scent of coffee came to her and she spied her father in the kitchen with a mug in his hand, leaning against the sink.
“Sent Luke on to Cactus,” Chuck said, blowing the hot liquid before taking a sip. “Think I might start sellin’ tack. Plenty of cowboys wander through the Gulch. We need to broaden our horizons to compete against that mercantile. There’s a good man I know out Cactus-way that makes all kinds of bridles and saddles.”
Shirley bit her lip, but nodded, reaching for a biscuit left over from the night before. Cactus was at least a full day’s ride away. She wouldn’t see Luke again for a couple of days.
“Heard your fight last night.” Chuck’s eyes skewered her to the floor. She fidgeted and could hardly swallow the bite she’d taken of her biscuit. “Had to talk that boy down from busting in your door.”
“I-I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“I want to tell you something.” Chuck turned and set his empty mug down on the table. “Your husband cares for you.”
She shook her head. She couldn’t speak. If she did, her pain and sorrow would once again bubble up to the surface.
“Yes, he does. I thought he was a no-good son-of-a-gun when I caught you two wrapped around each other that night I made you marry him. But he’s a good man. An honest, hard-working man. I gotta say, I was worried you’d find yourself a dainty popinjay who’d whisk you away to a life you only thought you wanted. Luke is the kind of man I’d hoped you’d find. A man of his word, who ain’t afraid to fight for you.”
“I told him I loved him last night. He didn’t…he didn’t…”
“Give him time,” her father said, patting her hand. “You two are just starting to learn about each other. You have the rest of your lives together. Hard cowboy like Luke Austin isn’t quite sure what to do with a woman’s love. Believe me, I know. Did the same fool thing when your mama confessed her true feelings.”
That got Shirley’s attention. “Really?”
Chuck nodded. “But she forgave me. I spent the rest of our marriage makin’ up for it.”
“I’m terrified he’ll never love me. We never courted. He never proposed. Maybe Marcus was right. Maybe Luke did saddle himself with a rotten shrew.”
Chuck grabbed her chin. “You are not a shrew. You are a very passionate woman. And you’ve got yourself a passionate man. Your marriage is bound to be one hell of a bumpy ride.”
Shirley smiled and hugged him. “I don’t know how to handle him.”
“Reckon he feels the same way. I sent him off to give you both time to cool down. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Perhaps he’ll have a change of heart when he returns.”
She could only hope so.
~ * ~
Shirley held her head high as she entered the sanctuary. Today was Sunday, and she wasn’t going to let a little thing like a shotgun wedding keep her from worshipping like she had every week for as long as she could remember. Her father didn’t much care for sermons, but Lissa and Marcus were there, and they both smiled at her as they offered her a seat next to them.
She was well aware of the stares and whispers of a few people around her. The bolder ones had the audacity to point. Despite her red-stained cheeks, she was determined to ignore them. She wasn’t a soiled woman. She’d married the man she’d been with. And she loved him more than she ever thought she might.
She spied Christopher across the aisle, sitting with Margaret and fawning over her, making sure her dress folded nicely as she sat and that her hair was neatly tucked into her bun.
His crisp Sunday suit annoyed Shirley today, as did his perfect, slicked-back hair. He was too polite, nodding to passers-by and sitting up straight with his wooden smile and counterfeit sincerity.
Stuffy, indeed.
She’d once thought him handsome, but looking into his eyes, she realized she only ever wanted to gaze into icy blue depths. She only wanted to run her fingers through unruly blond hair. And heaven help her, but she only craved her husband’s hands—all over her body.
“Shirley?” Marcus took her hand and squeezed.
She looked at him and gave him a soft smile. “Yes?”
“I wanted to tell you I’m so sorry. For the way I spoke of you before. I was riled up at what Luke did to you and the words poured from my mouth before I could stop them. I love you like my own sister. I don’t want there to be any bad blood between us.”
She shook her head. “What happened wasn’t all Luke’s fault,” she replied. “That night, when my father made me marry him, I didn’t push him away. I am just to blame as he is. I was…caught up in everything.”
“He should have known better,” Marcus whispered, keeping his voice low. �
��He was seducing you.”
“Perhaps,” she answered. “But I…I am glad that he did. He showed me what I wanted wasn’t anything like I’d thought.”
Marcus grinned at her. “I’ll just bet he did. That man’s been hurtin’ for a woman ever since Caroline snubbed him.”
“What do you mean?” Shirley’s brows knit in confusion.
“You remember that woman he told you about, the one he left behind?”
“The one who was married?”
Marcus nodded. “The very same. He fell in love with her. Told her even. But she laughed at him. Broke his heart. On top of telling him she already had a husband.”
Shirley gasped. Good Lord, the pain he must have felt! No wonder he’d been so distant with her. She glanced at her hands as they fidgeted on her lap. “I…didn’t know that.”
“Ever since then,” Marcus went on, “he’s kept his eye open. Seems you caught it.”
She was relieved when Pastor Richardson walked to the pulpit from his office behind the sanctuary to begin his sermon. This Sunday, he preached about the evils of fornication, no doubt a lesson he chose on purpose. But she was not ashamed of what she’d done with Luke. They’d been properly married before they’d made love.
However, that didn’t seem to help Marcus and Lissa, who squirmed uncomfortably on the pew.
Shirley flipped open her Bible and grinned to herself.
Twenty One
Another night without snuggling with his wife. Luke didn’t like it one bit. His arms were too empty, as was his heart. He missed her, every damn thing about her. Her warmth, her scent, her indignation, her mass of lovely hair…
Rolling over in his bedroll, he sighed and stared at the moon. He could have stayed with Milt, Chuck’s friend in Cactus, but Milt had a daughter that had been batting her eyes at him. A month ago, he might have liked the attention. But now, all he could think about was Shirley and the way she batted her eyes. The way she touched him. And the way she sighed into his ear while he was on top of her.
Scoundrel Page 11