by DiAnn Mills
Irritation replaced Alex’s surprise. He’d been wrong about a woman before, but his heart told him Danika Morales was trustworthy. “I barely know her, but from all outward appearances, she seems dedicated to the Border Patrol and the agents.”
“I think so too. Just contact me if anything unusual occurs.”
Toby had never indicated that Danika agreed with his immigration views. “The girl asked to speak to Agent Morales.”
Ed cleared his throat. “I’ll have Morales pick her up in the morning. Let me know if you see or hear anything unusual about the agent, who she talks to and the like.”
“I suppose.”
“By the way, did your patient ever talk about who abused her?”
“She said it was the guide.”
Ed swore. “Goes right with my day.”
Alex sympathized with the burden of a heavy workload. “Has he already been released?”
“Worse. He’s underage. First offense.”
This time Alex wanted to swear. Instead, he swallowed his curses and dug for more information. “Nothing you can do?”
“I’ll add the charges to his data and hope he’s picked up again.”
Furious by the news, Alex snapped his pencil in two. “I’m heading out of here in a few minutes. Want to meet for dinner?”
“Are you sure you want me for company?”
“I asked, didn’t I?”
“The wife and kids are out of town visiting her mother. I’d planned to go home to the dog and TV, but I’d take a steak.”
Whose mood would be worse? “Our favorite spot?”
“I’ll be there in thirty minutes.”
Alex dropped his cell into his jean pocket. Whatever was bothering Ed must have been a doozy. Normally he left work problems at the station, and even in their accountability times, Ed kept his emotions intact. Tonight Alex would encourage him to talk. The man carried twenty extra pounds in the middle—with all his stress, not a good recipe for health.
He lingered for a moment on the prospect of seeing Danika in the morning. He’d spend all night thinking up something clever to say, then forget it the moment she strolled into the hospital. Ah, those women in uniform.
* * *
Danika’s patience had stretched to the snapping point. She had nearly given up trying to figure out what had happened to put Tiana in such a foul mood. Her daughter’s behavior reminded Danika of what the preschool teachers had reported last spring—uncontrollable anger. Tiana had refused dinner and thrown toys, and now she balked at her bath.
“What’s wrong?” Danika signed.
“Why do Harper and Asher have a daddy and I don’t?” Tiana wore her disappointment on her face and in her fingers.
“We saw them at the grocery with their dad,” Sandra said, standing in the bathroom doorway. “She’s been like this ever since.” She patted Danika on the shoulder and left mother and daughter alone.
This was not the day to discuss Tiana’s lack of a father, but Danika had no choice. Her daughter had never asked about Toby before, and Danika had thought that when the day ever came, she would somehow find the appropriate words. Now she wasn’t so sure.
“Your daddy is in heaven with Jesus.”
“Why?”
The question Danika had been pondering for the past two years. She turned the faucet to warm and added more water while she formed her words. “I don’t know. I wish I did. Sometimes Mommy gets sad and misses Daddy too. But when I feel this way, I start to remember all the wonderful things about him that made me happy. Then I feel better.”
Tiana stuck out her lower lip and began to sign. “Doesn’t Jesus know I need my daddy?”
Danika reached into the warm bathwater and gathered up the little girl and pulled her into her arms. Wrapped in a towel, Tiana sat in her lap while Danika signed. “Jesus knows you miss your daddy, but he won’t be back. He can’t come back to us after going to live in heaven. We can only do what Daddy would want for us to do, and that is to be happy.”
Tiana began to sob. “Can we go there?”
Danika kissed her forehead. “That’s for Jesus to decide. Until then we do the best we can to make sure Daddy is proud of us. But it’s okay for us to cry when we miss Daddy because we only cry for those we love.”
“Is he mad because I can’t hear or talk like other kids? Is that why he went away?”
A lump formed in Danika’s throat. This was the most progress ever made in getting to the source of Tiana’s bottled anger. “Oh no, honey. Daddy loved you just the way you are. You were his joy.”
“Are you mad because I can’t hear or talk?”
“Of course not. We talk in a special way.”
“Are you going to heaven with Jesus and Daddy?”
“Someday, when Jesus decides it’s time.” Danika rocked her precious baby girl and continued to sign. “No one is mad at you. I love you. You are my precious little girl, a gift from God.”
“And you won’t leave me?”
She thought about Toby’s murder and the problems at the station. “I’m doing my best to stay right here with you. I love being your mommy.”
Tiana leaned against Danika’s chest and relaxed. A breakthrough had been made, and for that Danika was pleased. But the agony in Tiana’s eyes spoke volumes. Her daughter’s anger had been unveiled—the issue of not understanding and blaming herself for her daddy’s death. Danika learned a lot tonight. She and Tiana shared the same heartache.
Chapter 15
If God did not exist, it would be necessary to invent Him.
Voltaire
For the first time in months, Danika slept through to her six o’clock alarm. She woke refreshed, feeling more positive than she’d been in a long time. Tiana was still sleeping when the clock read seven thirty and it was time for Danika to get to work. She’d miss her early morning workout, but her body would survive.
She grabbed her coffee in a to-go mug and brushed a kiss on Sandra’s cheek. Her friend appeared preoccupied. “Are you okay?”
“Oh yes. Everything’s fine. I’m thinking of what Tiana said to you last night.”
Danika nodded, a mixture of bittersweet emotions looming over her. “I think we’re on the right track to solving her behavior problems. At last, my baby is telling us how she feels. I’m going to talk to Shannon about how to proceed.”
“Sounds like a good idea. I’ll make sure Tiana knows she’s special. I read that in one of your parent magazines, and I see her VeggieTales movies reinforce it too.”
Danika set her coffee down on the counter to give Sandra a hug. “I love you, dear one. No amount of money could ever be placed on all you do for us, especially the love.”
Sandra’s lips quivered. “We are like sisters in our hearts.”
“Mexico lost when you became a U.S. citizen. I look forward to the two of us being friends when our hair is gray and our teeth are gone.”
Sandra smiled through tear-filled eyes. “Not me. I’ll use Clairol, and I brush my teeth.”
Danika laughed and hugged her. “Okay, Sandra. I’m off. You hold down the fort while I go fight the Indians.”
“I thought you said the Indians were treated badly.”
“I did. It’s a saying.”
Sandra waved her away. “You confuse me.”
Once at the station and through muster, Danika was told she needed to pick up Rita at McAllen Medical Center. Odd, since the agent who spent the night with the patient could have provided the transportation. But after Danika’s conversation with Jimenez yesterday afternoon, she wasn’t questioning a single order. The confrontation had her biting her tongue and swallowing the cynicism. Being suspected as a rogue agent did make her angry enough to consider quitting, but why give Jimenez the pleasure?
Then a delicious thought shoved her superior from her mind: she might see Alex.
At the medical center, she replaced the agent in Rita’s room and learned Rita had spent a restless night with the thought of returning home. After greeting
the girl, Danika waited for Alex or the nurse to bring the discharge papers.
She took Rita’s hand—a child who hadn’t been ready for an adult world. “You look healthy and pretty.”
“Dr. Price took good care of me.” She smiled, her large nut-brown eyes sparkling like Danika had often seen Tiana’s do.
“I see that. Are you in pain?”
“A little. Just worried about going home. My parents were afraid for me to make the trip, but they wanted a better future for me than in Mexico.” A wistful look passed over the girl’s face. “I did want to come here to work. I told them I could send them money so their life wouldn’t be so hard.”
Danika’s emotions plummeted. But the laws protecting the border were in place for a reason. “You had a worthy goal, but the U.S. has laws concerning how to gain access into our country.”
“But it takes so many years.”
“Wouldn’t it be better to come here boldly and full of confidence than to go through the dangers of crossing the border illegally? I’d love to see you march across the bridge at Hidalgo with your visa in one hand and your suitcase in the other.”
“It does sound good. Hiding from the Border Patrol was scary.”
At least Danika had accomplished something. “Look at the amount of money it cost you and your family.”
Rita propped herself on one elbow. “It was only half for me. I planned to work for a lady for free until the rest of my fee was paid.”
Danika had choice words to describe that type of arrangement. Many young girls ended up as work-worn maids or prostitutes and were never able to repay the money owed. “What kind of work would you have been doing?”
“Cleaning houses.”
“I see. Who would you be working for?”
Rita tilted her head. She reminded Danika of a younger Nadine. “I don’t know her name. The guide was supposed to take me and two others to meet her.” She frowned. “I hope a rattlesnake got him. But I’m afraid he might find me and kill me. Besides, he did lead some good men across.”
“Were there any drug smugglers with you?”
Rita shook her head. “I cannot say. Many work with gangs, and I’d be killed as well as my family. It is very dangerous at home.”
“I’m sorry.”
Danika saw a shadow in the doorway. A young man with blue scrubs and auburn hair pushed a cart of medication into the room. “Agent Morales, Dr. Price would like to see you. He’s at the nurse’s station.”
Danika released Rita’s hand with a promise to quickly return. She ventured down the hall and around the corner, anticipating Alex to be standing there. If her life wasn’t in such shambles, she’d accept a date. Right now her insides were doing flips at the thought of simply seeing him.
The nurses buzzed around the station like bees on honey. Maybe Alex sat in the middle. She nearly laughed at her own joke. When she didn’t see him, she lingered in the hallway thinking he must be with a patient. Ten more minutes passed.
Danika glanced at her watch. “Excuse me, I was told to meet Dr. Price here,” she said to a nurse behind the circular enclosure. “I’m to pick up discharge papers for a young woman.”
The nurse shook her head. “Dr. Price is in emergency. He hasn’t been up here for rounds this morning. However, I do have the papers.”
Apprehension clutched Danika’s chest. She raced back down the hall to Rita’s room with one hand on her weapon. She flung open the partially closed door.
Blood stained the white sheets and puddled on the floor. Rita had been stabbed in the chest.
* * *
Jacob’s stomach hadn’t been this sore since he’d gotten over food poisoning at a crawfish festival. He patted his shirt pocket for his doctor’s slip to give to his supe and walked toward the station’s employee entrance. He was dreading today, actually despising the day. Everyone knew what happened. When disciplinary measures had been meted out, the news spread through the agents faster than rising water in a hurricane. They’d ignore him. Of course, he’d been avoided for quite some time, much the way Barbara and his kids treated him. The other agents used to look up to him—an icon of the McAllen Border Patrol sector. Those days faded into oblivion when Toby died. Everyone seemed to have forgotten his brother’s murder. But not Jacob. He’d not give up until justice was served.
Inside the station, he changed into his uniform, minus his weapon, which had been confiscated when he’d been brought in for the abuse charges. He trailed down the hall to the field operations supervisor, Agent Oden Herrera, and presented the doctor’s slip.
“You need to schedule your counseling appointment,” Herrera said.
“Now? I just walked in.” Jacob clenched, then unclenched, his fist. “It’s Saturday. No one’s open today.”
“Jimenez’s orders. The call’s been made, and I have three appointments available.” He pulled a folded piece of paper from his pocket. “Pick one.”
Jacob looked at his options. All three interfered with other things. “Can’t do any of those.”
“You’re not scheduled to work then.”
“I have a life,” Jacob snapped.
“That attitude is why you’re seeing a counselor and why your job is on the line.”
Jacob started to say he didn’t need the job, but he did. He could agree to this counseling and still lose his job with the BP. He stiffened. “Is there an appointment available thirty minutes prior to the second one listed?”
“I’ll look into it. Get back with me after your shift.”
“All right.”
Herrera leaned back in his chair. “Morales, we’re on your side. Something is eating at you, and we’re all in this together.”
“Yeah. I’ve heard that.”
Herrera stared at him. Disgust—or was it pity?—clouded his eyes.
Chapter 16
Only the brave know how to forgive.
Laurence Sterne
Danika clasped Tiana’s hand firmly in hers and walked into the sanctuary of McAllen Community Church. The Saturday night service didn’t draw near the worshipers Sunday morning did, but this uniquely scheduled time allowed people like her who worked on Sundays to honor God.
Tiana released Danika’s hand. “Mommy, why are you shaking?”
Danika willed her body to relax and put aside the memory of Rita’s limp and crimson form. Murdered. And for what purpose? Would the word why be permanently engraved in her heart for the deaths stalking her? She’d seen dead bodies before; it often came with the job. Except this time, Danika had formed a bond with a young woman who had trusted her. And Danika had failed her.
“I feel sad, and I need God to help me feel better.”
“I’m sorry, Mommy. When I ask Jesus for a daddy, I’ll ask Him to make you happy.”
“Thank you.” Right now she needed a few crimes solved, not another man in her life.
Danika’s mind focused on this morning at the hospital. Fortunately a volunteer had seen the young man pushing the medicine cart down the hall—the same cart that was found abandoned in the hallway.
The police did not blame Danika. Neither did Jimenez find fault in the way Danika had followed directions to meet Dr. Price at the nurses’ station. Danika, however, believed she should have been able to detect the killer. He ran loose while a family in Mexico no longer had a daughter. Danika remembered the young man’s features, and an artist at the McAllen police station did a sketch from her description. Then a call came in to the McAllen Border Patrol station claiming Danika Morales would be next.
At least she wasn’t under suspicion as a sold-out agent, but there wasn’t much comfort in that knowledge. She refused to crouch and hide like a scared rabbit. If someone wanted her bad enough, they’d find her anywhere. Trusting God came to the forefront of her mind, which was why she and Tiana sought peace and refuge in His house.
Danika and Tiana slid into a pew beside Becca, and she hugged them both.
“I’m so sorry about today,” she whispered.
“And I’m glad you’re here.”
“About time I trusted God. My own way isn’t working very well.” Danika chose not to mention the threat on her life. No point in alarming her friend or anyone else. She’d faced the risks of her job before and held her ground.
Tiana stood with the praise songs and hymns, her tiny hand tapping the back of the pew in time with the vibrations. Once the pastor began his sermon, she opened her coloring book and crayons. The Sunday service had a college student who signed the Sunday school lesson for the hearing-impaired, but nothing was available for Saturday evening. Danika hoped her daughter kept her word to behave. Since the outburst about not having a daddy, she appeared to be much happier.
The back of Danika’s neck chilled. Her desire to have Tiana with her tonight might not have been wise with someone out there seeking vengeance. Danika shook off the eerie sensation and concentrated on the pastor’s words.
Thirty minutes later, tears streamed down her face. She was back where she belonged. Home. And the revelation came not in the sermon or in the Scripture reading but in a nudging in her spirit during an updated arrangement of the old hymn “It Is Well with My Soul.” The confusion about Rita, Jacob and Barbara, Nadine, Toby, and her job had not disappeared, but the restlessness had ended, and in its wake was blissful peace. The stubbornness and bitterness plaguing her life for the past two years would still erupt, but she had the means to fight those moments of despair.
Danika closed her eyes and prayed for the road ahead to be an easier walk. Yet she understood life’s challenges and the stalwart faith required to survive. Forgive she must, but that didn’t mean she’d stop searching for Toby’s killer or leave Jacob and Barbara alone to fight their own insurmountable problems.
“Have you had dinner?” Becca asked when the service was over.
“Not yet. Want to grab some chiles rellenos?”
Becca grimaced. “You’ve been working with men far too long.”