by Amber Heart
“So, what program are you in?” Conversation had always been something that Rosalie hadn’t been that great at, so maybe she could practice more with Vanessa, then be able to make new friends in her classes, too.
“I’ve been bouncing around a lot, not really sure what I want to do, so I’m just taking the general education classes right now.” Vanessa didn’t seem to be too worried about it, and it struck Rosalie as odd. How could you go to school without some kind of clue as to what you wanted to do there? College wasn’t cheap. You couldn’t just stay there for an indeterminate length and enjoy the ride. Someone was paying for it. She wanted to say something to that effect, but she knew she’d been seen as the geek and the nerd in high school, so she didn’t want to chance ruining this new friendship. “What about you? Any idea what you want to be when you grow up?” Vanessa laughed good naturedly.
“Yeah, I’m going premed. I’m not really a social butterfly or anything, so I figured that I should go for a career path where that wasn’t really important.” Rosalie had meant it to be a joke, even though it had a painfully true undertone to it, but Vanessa just stared at her.
“Are you afraid to stand out?” It was a question that took her by surprise, because she’d never thought about it, but she wasn’t sure that she could answer that right now, because she didn’t know.
“I’m not sure. I’ve never really thought about it. Do I look like it?” Vanessa gave her a warm smile to take the sting out of her next words.
“Well, you kind of look like an old fashioned version of Florence Nightingale. The clothes that you wear are beyond out of style, and you have such a beautiful face that you should really show it instead of hiding it behind your long hair.” Rosalie was a little stung. She loved her long, thick, brunette hair. It was her best feature, in her eyes. But she could definitely agree with the clothes. It wasn’t like she would see anything that she was wearing in a fashion magazine any time soon.
“I’m paying for school myself, so I don’t really pay too much attention to style. I just get cheap, comfortable clothes.” She could feel her cheeks heating up painfully, and she hoped that Vanessa wouldn’t look down on her for it. It was nice having a girlfriend to hang out with.
“Well, if you were really serious about trying something new, then I could help you out. I have a friend who does hair, and I know some places to go shopping that would fit your budget but would still change your look. Just an idea.” Rosalie was silent for a moment. They were nearing the end of the movie where Sandy went to Frenchie and had her make over her entire image to fit in with Danny. She’d always wanted to shock people in high school like that, coming back one summer looking like a knockout, but she’d never had the guts. Now, she was in college, and she needed to stop being afraid of everything.
“Ok, let’s do it. I’ve been a mouse all my life, I could use a bit of a change. Just nothing too drastic, ok?” Vanessa laughed.
“No problem. I’ll break you in easy.” She snatched her cell phone off the arm of the couch and started to text furiously. She paused, looking up at Rosalie. “You want color, or just a cut and style?” Not quite knowing what Vanessa would have her looking like if she gave her a free hand, she decided to play it safe.
“Just cut and style. I like my mousy brown.” The girls shared a laugh and went back to the movie.
The next morning, a loud knock on her door woke Rosalie a minute before her door was flung open and Vanessa came dancing in. She went over to Rosalie’s window and tore open the curtains, whistling to herself as she went.
“Wake up, sleepyhead! Time to start your makeover!” She was in a much better mood than the first time that Rosalie had seen her, and part of her wanted to ask if she was ok, after what she’d seen and heard from Rob, but she didn’t want to say the wrong thing this early in the friendship.
“Vanessa, it’s only eight thirty!” She threw a pillow at the girl, missing by a mile. Vanessa grabbed it and deftly threw it back at her, hitting Rosalie in the face.
“Exactly! We’re wasting daylight! We have a lot to do before school starts tomorrow. Get up! Get up! Get up!” Laughing at her antics, Rosalie managed to slide out of bed and get herself dressed.
“I’ll be right back. Just gonna go brush my teeth.” Vanessa shooed her out of the door and Rosalie grinned the whole way to the bathroom. If this was going to be her new life, then she was ready for it. She’d never realized just how much she’d wanted it until it had happened. It was easy not to miss what you hadn’t experienced. She took care of her morning hygiene routine, then came back through the door.
“Vanessa, I’m--” She broke off when she saw the girl with the blue hair sitting in the living room. They locked eyes on each other, and both of them froze. Vanessa came bouncing out of her room. She saw the frigid glare between the two girls and sobered up.
“What’s going on out here?” The girl with the blue hair glared at Rosalie as if she’d done something wrong. For her part, Rosalie couldn’t think of anything she’d done to this girl, so she just blushed and tried to get away as quickly as she could. She went back to her room to put away her toothbrush, hairbrush, etc. When she came out, Vanessa was looking at her, too.
“This is your friend whose hair I’m supposed to do?” Vanessa nodded. “Fine. Let’s get this over and done with.” The girl had complete animosity towards her, and Rosalie was starting to think that this was a bad idea. She didn’t know if she should trust the girl with scissors anywhere near her face. It was quick, and that was something that made Rosalie happy. It only took about thirty minutes before the girl finished up and walked out the door. Rosalie sat there, in the kitchen chair, frozen in place until she heard the door slam behind her.
“Whew. What did you do to Blaze?” Vanessa looked at Rosalie with her arms crossed over her chest.
“I don’t even know her! I’ve seen her once!” Rosalie had her hands up in surrender, getting ready to spill the whole story about the coffee shop. The more she talked, the harder it was for Vanessa to keep a straight face. When she ended the story with the boy with the blue eyes bringing back her book, Vanessa burst out laughing. “What’s so funny?” Rosalie demanded, trying to figure it out for herself.
“Well, Blaze is head over heels for Eric, and she must have been sitting their when he grabbed your book and brought it up.” That dumbfounded Rosalie. Blue eyes had a name. It was Eric. And he’d taken time away from his friends just to bring her back a book? Did that mean something? Rosalie was the last person to know anything about dating or romance or courtship, and she would admit that freely. Maybe Vanessa could be an insight into the boy. Mentally pumping the brakes, Rosalie chided herself for even starting to think that way. No. She wouldn’t try to get closer to Eric. It wasn’t worth it. She had school to focus on, and he was just that arrogant punk that wasn’t her type anyway. Not that she really had a type, because she’d never dated, but if she did, he wouldn’t be it. She pushed him out of her mind and focused on something else.
“So, is her name really Blaze?” This earned her another laugh from Vanessa.
“No, it’s actually Stacey, but she didn’t think that would work in our group. It was too…innocent. So she dyed her hair and changed her name. It helped her change her image. Kind of what we’re doing with you, but without the color. Oh yeah, come look at your cut!” Vanessa had a full length mirror in her room, and she grabbed Rosalie’s hand, pulling her in front of it. Rosalie was dumbstruck. Whatever Blaze had done to her hair was beautiful. Before it was all one length, flat, almost lifeless. Now, she had bangs that framed her face, her hair was in layers, and she had a side part that would let her flip her hair in or out of her face whenever she wanted. It gave her a boost of confidence that she’d never felt before.
“Wow! She did an amazing job! I love it! I’d like to tell her that, but I don’t think that would be too smart.” Vanessa shook her head, validating that idea right away. “To be honest, with the look she’d given me, I thought
she was going to sheer me like a sheep.”
“No, she’s not like that. She’ll get back at you some other way, if she wants to get even, but it’ll be subtle, and only something you’ll know. Almost like blackmail rather than blatant sabotage. I’ve known her for a couple of years, so I can promise you that much. Are you ready to go shopping?” Vanessa’s bubbly personality spilled over and infected Rosalie.
“Sure. Don’t get mad at me if we don’t find anything to make me look like less of a mouse, though. My mom used to tell me that I could only be what I was, and I’m a mouse.” Vanessa rolled her eyes.
“Your mom never met me. Let’s go! I’m driving.” Rosalie patted her hair a couple more times, loving the way it felt when it slipped through her fingers. She smiled at her reflection, thinking that maybe, just maybe, things were looking up. She went and grabbed her purse, following Vanessa out of the room and down to the parking lot. Vanessa’s car was a blue sedan, not the newest, but not exactly a clunker, either. Gallantly, Vanessa opened the passenger door and bowed her into the seat. Rosalie was doubled over with laughter as Vanessa scooted into the driver’s seat. The girls were singing at the top of their lungs to the cheesiest hits on the radio, laughing and having a good time. Vanessa pulled up in front of a shop that Rosalie had never seen before. Grabbing her purse, Rosalie followed Vanessa in. The shop was dark, and there was some heavy metal blaring from the speakers. Rosalie expected to see ripped leather clothes with safety pins as decorations everywhere, but it really wasn’t all bad.
“Hey, Marissa. I brought a friend with me, and we need a makeover. Can you hook us up with a dressing room?” Vanessa was talking to a girl behind the counter with at least a dozen piercings in her face. It made Rosalie a little squeamish, but she soldiered on, following both girls to the row of dressing rooms against the back wall. Marissa unlocked one, then Vanessa shoved her in, closing the door behind her. “Ok, get naked! I’m gonna go grab some things for you to try on. We’re going to find the new Rosalie!”
Chapter 4
Rosalie was down to her bra and panties in the dressing room, with Vanessa handing her things over the door. She was embarrassed that she had someone with her when she was clothes shopping, because she’d never had anyone besides her mother with her until now. Some of the outfit choices Rosalie couldn’t even bring herself to try on. She just picked them up between a thumb and a forefinger and moved them over to the discard pile that was rapidly growing on the chair. Some of those skirts barely covered her butt, and there was no way that she could walk around with her cheeks hanging out under her hemline. Maybe a change in wardrobe could help her, but this was not the way to go.
“Um, Vanessa? Can we get something a little more…” She broke off, not quite knowing how to phrase it. “Just with more material?” There was a silence on the other side of the door, and Rosalie winced. Had she already pushed her new friend away?
“Yeah, you got it. Hang on.” Vanessa’s voice sounded more than a little disappointed, and it made Rosalie want to leave. A bundle of clothes came over the top of the door again, and she sighed. Hopefully this batch had something in it that she would actually wear. A black leather skirt caught her attention instantly. Judging by the other skirts Vanessa had offered her, this one was actually of a decent length. Excited for the first time since they got into the store, she put it on. It went to mid-thigh, and she could actually pull it to almost her knees. She smiled. There. A compromise. Now for a shirt. A turquoise blob caught her attention, and she picked it up. It was a halter top, but it didn’t have too much cut out of it, just bare shoulders. Feeling better about her choices, she walked out of the dressing room with a confidence that she hadn’t felt before. Vanessa’s eyes lit up and she grinned, happily clapping her hands.
“That’s perfect! Wow! What a total transformation! I love it!” The praise made Rosalie blush, and she looked down at herself.
“I wouldn’t say it was perfect. She looks like a prostitute who hasn’t been out in the sun very often.” Rosalie’s head snapped up in anger. It was Eric. Mr. Blue Eyes himself. What the hell was he doing here? It was bad enough that Rosalie was showing off these new clothes in front of someone she hardly knew, but him? Rosalie ran back into the dressing room, almost slamming the door behind her. Her cheeks were red and burning with embarrassment. She heard a thud, and could only assume that Vanessa had punched him in the shoulder.
“What is wrong with you? She looked cute!” Rosalie maneuvered herself so she could peek out through the crack between the door and the wall. She had to balance precariously over the chair and massive pile of discards, doing her best not to press her face against the door so it wouldn’t make a noise and move. Eric rolled his eyes at her and shrugged off the blow.
“You can’t dress up a mouse and expect it to be anything more than a mouse. Sorry, that’s the truth.” His attitude was cold and nonchalant. Rosalie’s cheeks were still pink, but it was no longer with embarrassment, now it was with anger. How dare he put her down when he was friends with girls who wore less! She was just trying to find a happy medium between mouse and whore. That decided it right then and there. She was going to buy this outfit, and she was going to rock it. Maybe she was a little on the pale side, but she could start studying outside and fix that. Rosalie froze. Was she really going to take advice from this insensitive asshole? She leaned back, intending to change out of the outfit, but she slipped on the pile of clothes and accidentally pushed the door open. Vanessa and Eric froze, staring at her. Rosalie couldn’t do anything but stare back. Eric shrugged and turned on his heel, leaving the store. Vanessa watched him go with a scowl on his face.
“What was he doing here anyway?” hissed Rosalie once he was out of the store. Vanessa tossed her head haughtily.
“Probably here to tell me something else that my ex wanted me to know.” Rob was still trying to get at her, apparently, and she was holding her own ignoring him. Maybe he’d turned to his lieutenant to get the message across. A smile manifested on Rosalie’s face. Well, if that was the case, then he’d failed. He hadn’t said a word about Rob the whole time he was in the store. Was it maybe because of how she looked in that outfit? Or had he maybe been so disgusted that he couldn’t get the words out? Damn! Clothes shopping was an emotional roller coaster. Rosalie colored at the thought of him paying enough attention to her to forget what he was supposed to be doing. Then she got mad at herself. Why would he pay attention to her at all? She was invisible. In a haze, she paid for the skirt and top, mechanically making the rights sounds and movements to make it look like she was paying attention to Vanessa’s conversation. In reality, she was repeating a mantra over and over again in her head. Tomorrow school started. Her premed classes wouldn’t take her anywhere near Eric or Blaze or Rob, or any of that bunch. It was a hope that she held on to, and she started to count down the hours until her day was over. As the girls made it back to their dorm, they found Rob blocking their way. Vanessa froze, glowering at him, expecting him to move. The two of them stood in complete silence, staring at each other. Rosalie took that as her cue and slipped around him to get into the building. She almost felt bad about leaving Vanessa out there with him, but she was sure the other girl could handle it. Besides, she was still reeling herself, and just wanted to be alone.
In her room, Rosalie hung the outfit up in her closet. She stared at it for a few minutes then yanked it off the bar and flung it across the room. She frowned at the pile of blue and black in the corner of the room. It felt like it was alive and had eyes to watch her accusingly with. Stalking across the room, she picked it up and hung it back in the closet…as far back as she could reach. There. It wasn’t anywhere that she could see. She still hadn’t decided if it had been a nice purchase, or if it had just been an impulse buy. She walked over to her desk and looked at the stack of textbooks. What better way to destress than to pack her bag for tomorrow? Yes, it was a bit on the geeky side, but it made her feel better. She grabbed her backpack an
d perused it for a moment. It was one of those heavy duty ones that high school kids used because they usually got slung all over the place. She pulled out her schedule and started to comb through it, separating the books by day. When she had everything she needed for tomorrow, she packed them in her bag, threw in a handful of pens and pencils, a stack of notebooks, and a calculator. She didn’t have a laptop, she was still saving up for that, but she was proud of being able to pay for her things herself, so the more things she could get for school, the more self-sufficient she saw herself as. For now it was the old fashioned, pen and paper way.
The tiny window gave her a nice view out onto the quad behind their dorm. She went over to it in order to catch the last few rays of the sun as they played across the grass. Her eye caught Vanessa and Rob, locked in a heated embrace, and she turned away embarrassed. She was embarrassed that she would never have the courage to have such a blatant public display of affection. Then she realized, you actually had to have someone first. That was the first hurdle, and she didn’t believe she would get there. Standing in front of the mirror, she gave herself a once over. She wasn’t completely unfortunate looking. The new hair cut framed her face and made it look fuller, almost pretty. The makeup gave her face a soft glow, and to her, she looked more alive than she had in years. Her eye caught the reflection of the closet, and she wondered what she would really look like in the style of clothes that Vanessa and her friends seemed to like. It would certainly catch Eric’s attention if she dressed that way, and she’d even feel a little like Sandy at the end of Grease. But was she really willing to lose herself in order to catch a guy? No. She couldn’t justify it. Maybe that would be something she’d put on her bucket list. A boyfriend. Why did that little thing seem to be so far out of her reach? Sighing, she grabbed her robe from the hook on the back of her door and grabbed her bathroom bag. Might as well wash all her worries away in the shower.