by Joey W. Hill
Debra flushed and shook her head at him before returning to what she was doing. Brian looked at Rand. “So, do you wish the mark removed?” He lifted a generous vial of blood. “Cai left this to facilitate things. We’ve made improvements to the process recently where we create a profile from his blood and your physiology to determine how to tailor the separation serum more closely to your bond. I just need to know if you want us to begin, since that procedure is fairly labor-intensive.”
Rand knew the smart thing to do. What did it matter? Cai could always mark him again, right? If their paths crossed in the future, and things were different, and they both wanted… Though that time it would stay permanent, because it was clear this procedure was a rare and by Council-approval type thing. They didn’t do it like returns at Walmart.
He’d thought about it ever since reading Cai’s note. Waffled on the way here. Thought about all the variables, even during Brian’s explanation. But when it came down to it, Rand trusted his wolf more than he trusted his human side. So he asked that part of his heart, and the wolf’s answer came without hesitation.
“Thanks,” he said. “But I want to keep the marks. Um…can I have the blood, if you’re not going to use it?”
With a neutral look, Brian handed it over. “Thanks.” Rand nodded. “I’ll be leaving shortly. Is there anything…do I need to sign out?”
Brian’s lips twitched. “No. If your Master has already departed, then your business here is concluded. Do you have transportation to where you’re going?”
“Yes.” He’d probably take the offered limo ride to get back to the national park in West Virginia. Convenience and all. If he didn’t decide to track Cai down, damn it all. “Thanks.”
Rand held out a hand, before he realized that vampires and servants might not shake hands. But Brian took his hand in an easy, strong grip.
“Good luck, Rand. And thank you for answering my earlier questions about shifters. I have plenty more, so if you ever feel like it, I’d like the opportunity to continue our discussion.”
He’d answered some of Brian’s high-level questions, but hadn’t gone more in-depth. Until he’d shown up, vampires had thought wolf-shifters were myth. Lyssa had mentioned an improvement in Fae relations. There were Fae, deep forest dwellers, who walked between earth and their own world and knew of the small enclaves of shifters. But knowing the suspicion and dislike the Fae had felt toward vampires until apparently recently, Rand doubted they’d be volunteering that awareness. Maybe it was best to keep it that way for now. He didn’t feel comfortable taking it upon himself to enlighten the vampire race about his own.
“Okay.” Rand nodded courteously to Debra and headed for the door. However, he paused at the threshold. “If it’s okay to ask, what did you have for him? Lyssa said you needed to give Cai something.”
“The prosthetic fang,” Brian responded. “It had a permanent adhesive to hold it in place, almost as securely as a rooted fang. I offered to install it, since it’s easier to have someone else do it, but he declined. He took it with him, however.”
“The fang was designed by a dentist who works with our kind,” Debra said, an intriguing twinkle in her eyes. “He’s an artist, of sorts. Kibler personalized the fang with an emblem very appropriate to your Master’s…personality.”
“There’s a skull-and-crossbones etching on the widest part,” Brian offered.
Despite the heavy weight in his chest and gut that hadn’t abated, Rand felt a slow smile cross his face. “Cai will like that. I’m sure he appreciated the fang…even if he didn’t say so.”
Brian’s expression sobered, his intelligent gaze suggesting he understood a lot more about the situation Rand was facing than he was saying. Debra’s even more so, and with enough sympathy to tell Rand he needed to take off before he embarrassed himself. He gave them one more nod and took his leave.
His intent was to get back to the room, collect his small bundle of belongings and go…somewhere. He wanted to go after Cai, wanted to make the hard pounding in his heart, head and loins stop. But every word of Cai’s note had been as subtle as a sledgehammer on a railroad spike.
Rand needed to think, even if his wolf didn’t want to think at all. Just wanted to track. He’d find where Cai had gone to earth, because they weren’t too far off from dawn. He’d lay on top of that mound of earth, until…
Back in their room, Rand sighed and laid down on the bed, on Cai’s spot. There was no one to see, anyway, and he couldn’t feel Cai in his mind. Which didn’t mean he wasn’t, but he knew Cai well enough to believe the vampire had closed himself off, at least for now. Emotionally suppressed asshole.
Rand uncapped the vial and closed his eyes at the scent of the blood. Until Cai, blood had been what he associated with prey. But Cai’s blood was different. It was an offering, a reminder of the bond between them. Rand put it to his lips and downed the few meager swallows. His fist clutched the vial as he savored the taste.
Cai had said it before. They really hadn’t known one another long, and there was a hell of a lot of things they still didn’t know about one another. But for wolves, relationships were built differently. Non-shifter wolves only lived ten to fifteen years in the wild, on average. So when they mated, that connection had to happen far more immediately than was required by a longer expected lifespan.
While shifters lived to a human old age, they had that same trait. Usually the first impression was all that was needed to figure out the shape of another’s heart and soul. From what he’d learned during his short time at Fane’s, Sangra and Idris had been married within a month of meeting one another. Todd had known upon his first meet with Zelda, though Zelda, being human, had needed longer to make up her mind. He and Dylef, Sheba and Sylvan, Lynn and Fane…they all had similar courtship stories.
Rand had had a lot of his own shit to deal with when he and Cai met. It had interfered with what he really thought of the vampire, that first key scent-and-soul impression, but his instincts had won out. Every time his human side had suggested he needed to get rid of the vampire’s company as soon as possible, his wolf had stuck. Even followed him into hell.
So why wasn’t he following him now? Rand turned his face into the pillow, inhaling deep. Maybe because he couldn’t give straight answers to the questions Cai’s note raised. Even if he had bonded with Cai, could Rand handle being without other shifters, not part of their pack and what they gave to his soul?
He sighed. Time to go. He’d figure out the answers along the way.
As he put the nice clothes Jacob had said he could keep in a backpack Lyssa’s servant had provided, Rand’s gaze kept returning to the pillow. Maybe Cai had been a bad influence on him, but hell with it. Rand stripped the case, folded it up and tucked it into the pack with the rest of his clothes. He had the secondhand jeans and shirt Cai had worn but left behind. However, Fane’s scent was too strong upon them, interfering with Cai’s.
The actual pillow would hold Cai’s scent even longer, but Rand couldn’t fit that in the pack, and he was pretty sure walking out with it might be frowned upon. Add that pillow to Mr. Rand’s bill…did we get a credit card from him at check-in? No? Just take a few extra pints from him as payment, then.
His weak sense of humor was even picking up Cai’s cadence. It made the aching worse.
Rand read the letter again, then slid it into the folds of the pillow case. He dialed command central for the house servants, wherever that was, and learned the limo and driver were standing by and could be ready to go in a few minutes. Good. And bad. It was too much like a sign.
Shouldering the pack, Rand looked around the room, took one last deep breath and left it. He nodded courteously to the few staff members he encountered as he reached the top of the stairs and moved through the house. He stopped himself from assigning meaning to their speculative looks. A servant whose vampire had left without him…
But he had that third mark bond. He was keeping it, God knew why. Maybe he’d regret it in a few
days, but he had plenty of regrets. He had room for one more.
As he stepped out the front door, he saw Jacob leaning against the limo, a large brown paper sack sitting next to him on the back trunk. Bran, the Irish wolfhound, lay nearby. At the sight of Rand, his lip curled, but Jacob spoke a word and he subsided, his head thumping down on his paws in belligerent acquiescence.
Rand came down the steps. Jacob handed him the bag.
“Some food for the road. From the weight of it, you made quite an impression on the house staff. You’re welcome to reach out to us again if you have need of us.” Jacob’s eyes showed amusement as he glanced toward Bran. “You’ll be welcomed by my Mistress, even if the dogs don’t agree. As you probably picked up last night, good relations between different species has recently become a higher priority to the Council.”
With dwindling numbers, their allies were few in a dangerous world. Rand got that. Having a pack brought a sense of safety, of balance.
“My brother respects you and would feel the same, if you cross paths again,” Jacob added. “I know he’s sorry he killed Cai’s friend. Things have changed a lot for him since he bonded with Daegan and Anwyn.”
Life was like that. Made up of love and loss, and wisdom often so hard-earned it rode hand-in-hand with guilt, regret and nightmares.
“Rand.” Jacob had put a hand on his shoulder. The contact was welcome. Too welcome.
“He just left. Left me a goddamn note.”
Rand bit back the words too late. But the servant merely nodded, more understanding in his face than Rand could handle. Just like Debra.
“Vampires aren’t different from any other humanoid species when it comes to relationships. They think they’re above it all, but they aren’t. They’re just blessed with an overabundance of the control freak gene. Which means when they care, they’re not only overprotective. They think they know every damn thing that’s best for you. You have to push back sometime. And push back hard.”
The personal note of resolve in Jacob’s voice told Rand he’d had to do that with his own Mistress. A formidable challenge Rand was sure had been volatile and intriguing to watch.
“I’m not sure if that’s what was driving him.” Rand sighed. “And he may be right about some of it. I have to think.”
“Did you keep the mark?”
Rand nodded. “I did.”
Satisfaction flared in Jacob’s gaze. “I was pretty sure you would. So go think. You’ll be able to find him if you want him. But if you need help, my brother and Daegan won’t mind taking a break to track his ass down. They’re the best trackers there are.”
Rand felt an easing in his chest. It didn’t eliminate all the stuff churning in him, but it did give him some breathing room.
“Not the best trackers,” he corrected. “But decent for a vampire and a human servant.”
Jacob grinned and opened the limo door for him. Rand got in, taking the food and his pack.
When the driver pulled out, Rand dropped his head back on the seat and closed his eyes. He didn’t want to think about how every mile passing under the wheels was taking him farther from Cai.
You’ll be able to find him if you want him.
Want wasn’t the problem. All the emptiness inside of him was filled with raw, aching want.
Returning to the present, Rand glanced over his shoulder as Fane joined him. The male was back in human form, which was curious, since they often didn’t do that until they were close to the house. Fane took a seat next to him, joining Rand in watching the younger shifters feed.
“What do you think you’re waiting for?” Fane asked at last.
Rand shot him a surprised look, and Fane shook his head. “Losing Sheba, Dylef and your children that way, it hurt something deep inside. Broke it. No wolf stays alone as long as you did when the hurt isn’t grievous. You’re a noble male, a strong leader. I don’t claim to understand your attachment to the vampire, but maybe…there are so few wolves like you, preferring your same gender…”
Fane shifted uncomfortably. Rand offered a panting grin and sidled closer to him. Fane snorted and shoved at him. “Yeah, yeah. Make fun of the straight guy awkwardness. Have pity.” He sobered. “What I’m saying is maybe the two of you were meant to be. You seem to fit together, in some hard-to-explain way. I think…he needs you.”
Fane firmed his lips and nodded to himself, reflecting his certainty that he’d chosen the right words. “And you need him. You said he left without saying good-bye in person. That’s what someone does when saying good-bye is going to be too hard. Doesn’t sound like a guy who doesn’t want to be with you, does it?”
Rand huffed a sigh and laid down, putting his head on Fane’s thigh. Fane stroked his ruff, wrapping his arms over him and giving him a light bite on the nape. “We are brothers always. Go and find him. No bullshit about him being gone. You’re blood-linked, which I know you told me he can shut down to make it harder to find him, but you’re not human. You’ve got a nose and you’re the best tracker I’ve ever met.”
Rand said nothing and Fane heaved a sigh. “Fine. Cilya networks with pretty much every female shifter, coast to coast. You wait much longer to deal with this, I’ll tell her to send out a blast that you’re on the market. With pictures. They’ll arrive in droves, bringing their best meat pies and fried chicken. I won’t have to worry about feeding my own brood for weeks. Plus, I get to watch you squirm under their attentions and try to be polite.”
Fane laughed when Rand wriggled free and tackled him. As they rolled, Fane shifted back to his gray and brown wolf. Rand pinned him then jumped back, letting Fane spring up and pounce, with an impressively ferocious sound that was all show. They continued to wrestle, tumbling down the hill toward the younglings. Having finished their meal, they were more than ready to join in the fun when they saw it happening.
Rand participated in the play, but Fane’s thoughts had watered what was already well on its way to being a firmly planted tree. Or, since it was caused by Cai, a weed-like, invasive species. Rand felt a spurt of wry humor.
Either way…Fane was right. And because Rand realized that, the urgency that Brian said could be chemical, and Debra’s smile said could be something else, seemed to triple inside of him. It wasn’t long before Rand broke off from the play and headed back to the house at a lope. It was time to go find his other pack.
He gathered some things together, hiked back out to civilization, and hitched a ride on the rural highway. It would lead to one of the towns where he kept a cache of human necessities in a storage facility. Riding in the back of the rattling pickup truck gave him time to think about the best strategy for finding Cai.
He’d kept the vial, even after he’d emptied it, so he had that scent. He also still had the pillow case. Slept with it under his own pillow. Since Lynn could ferret out any hidden laundry, Rand had had to tell her to leave it unwashed, and suffer the unmanly flush summoned by her knowing look.
Did Cai know he slept with it? He’d wondered how much of his mind Cai had tapped. Unlike Rand, who could only wonder what the vampire was doing, Cai could check in anytime, until he was a few thousand miles away.
Rand had a bad moment, thinking of that possibility. For two weeks, there’d been nothing but silence in his head. He’d expected Cai to eventually speak to him, just a deceptively casual reaching out, but nothing. Not even a random flash of emotion. Cai had done the vampire equivalent of shutting off his cell phone.
Rand had attempted more than once to reach out himself.
I want to come see you, talk to you.
You promised me a trip to the desert.
Where are you? Are you really going to make me track you?
If you really meant that “we can still be friends” bullshit, you wouldn’t be acting like this.
Asshole.
Nothing.
Cai would know Rand hadn’t had the mark removed. What had he thought of that?
Yeah, Rand could track him. It would take time. Th
ere were about a million acres of forestland where he might be. Like Rand, Cai preferred the wild spaces. Or maybe Cai had planted himself in the middle of a human population somewhere, the way he’d distanced himself from the Trads when he left their ranks. It irritated Rand to think that Cai would use the same tactics to avoid him he’d used to avoid Goddard.
But there were other reasons Cai would do it. He would need human blood. He might go with the camper or hiker routine, but Rand had a feeling—hopefully not wishful thinking—that Cai might not revert to killing on a routine basis again, particularly if he was staying in more populated areas. Which meant he’d need wider and more frequent access to humans, to secure that “milk cow” approach to feeding.
He’d said his compulsion skills weren’t highly developed, but with his looks, he wouldn’t need magic to attract prey. That thought brought a snarl to Rand’s lips, unfortunately timed, since at that point he was in a mini-mart and startled the clerk.
But that was when another idea hit him. Which would work, as long as Cai truly wasn’t out of range. A good hunter knew when to track prey, and when to bait a trap. Thinking of all the things he knew about vampires in general, and this specific vampire, one sprang to mind in front of all the others.
Cai had vulnerable moments when he’d let Rand take the upper hand. But his core was vampire, which could make itself known in sudden, dangerous and pleasing ways. Dominance was an integral part of him. Possessiveness. And Rand was his servant. No matter that Cai had presumably let him go, Rand thought the emotions provoked by that bond weren’t easily set aside.
A gay bar for a casual-hook up wouldn’t be enough. He knew exactly where he was going to go. To a BDSM club. And not just any club. He would head for Atlanta. If he let his mind drift into some interesting areas, revealing some of his plans, though not the underlying strategy… If he could keep his thoughts high level and somewhat vampire proof, he maybe could draw Cai to him. Even if Cai was geographically far off, maybe that would get him headed in Rand’s direction. So Rand wouldn’t actually have to go all the way through with the plan he was concocting.