This pissed me off and, as I nursed my snit, it came to me that if Frey was going to be this cautious with me while I was expecting, then there was no way he was going to let me find a witch, send a message to Valentine, communicate with her what was happening and that I had to go home, talk to Sjofn, sort out my life back home, say good-bye to friends and come back.
No way.
And I had to do this. My return journey was scheduled to happen in less than six months time. I was guessing I was maybe a month pregnant, perhaps a bit more. That would mean I’d be in my third trimester and no way Frey would let me journey back then and I wasn’t keen to do it then either. But if I didn’t get a message to Valentine, he wouldn’t have a choice and nor would I.
So my husband and I needed to have a discussion.
But I was avoiding that discussion because although my anger had cooled to worry, Frey’s had disappeared completely. He was back to my sweet, gentle Frey and held no grudges (then again, he didn’t need to since he got his way). But when we were fighting, I found it upset me (tremendously) when he was angry. We got along so well, fighting with him was no fun, it didn’t feel good at all in so far as it didn’t even feel right and I wasn’t all fired up to get in another argument with him then or, ever, really.
So I needed to find a way to discuss this with my husband without either of us getting upset and with Frey agreeing to let me go home.
Something I thought would be impossible.
I was thinking of all this as I was wandering along the upper balcony, taking in the lake, the sea of pine trees rising up all around, the snow-capped mountains rising behind the trees, the pretty village of Kellshorn some ways away and all of this reflected in the calm, clear waters of the lake. And I was doing this hoping for those calm waters to calm me when I saw Bess, Alyssa and Esther at the end of the balcony looking down and whispering to each other.
As I approached, Bess heard me, turned, put her finger to her lips and then she lifted her hand and waved it toward herself urgently, her face smiling.
I smiled back and moved toward them, glad to have something to take me away from my thoughts. When I arrived at their huddle, I got close to Bess on the end and looked over the railing to see what held their attention. I scanned the somewhat cleared area around the house, saw nothing then I caught it.
Thad had Jocelyn pinned against the side of the stable, her arms were around his shoulders, his hands were at her ass and they were going at it, hot and heavy.
Whoa.
When did this happen?
“When did this happen?” I whispered to Bess.
“He took her last night,” Bess whispered back. “Her room’s next to mine. They were noisy.” After she imparted this information, she giggled and tried (unsuccessfully) to stifle it as I heard Alyssa giggle and unsuccessfully try to stifle hers too.
“I heard it as well so I went to Bess’s room to listen,” Alyssa whispered like Jocelyn and Thad were five feet away rather than yards away and my eyes went around them to look at Esther at the other end who was looking at me and rolling her eyes. As for me, I couldn’t help it, I was smiling. “He has stamina too,” Alyssa finished and my smile got bigger.
“Lots of it,” Bess added on a huge grin.
I turned my smile on them both before I teased, “You two need to get yourselves some so you won’t be up in Jocelyn’s business.”
Alyssa’s eyes wandered to where Max and Stephan were standing chatting to each other some ways away from the goings on with Thad and Jocelyn and she said wistfully, “You’re indeed right about that, Finnie.”
“So right,” Bess added, also wistfully, her eyes had wandered to where Orion was dismounting from his horse close to the lake.
I looked around them again to Esther who was not looking at me, Bess, Alyssa or any of Frey’s hot guys but at Thad and Jocelyn and I saw her face was thoughtful.
My head tilted to the side before I looked back at the couple only to see Thad had Jocelyn by the hand and he was leading her into the stables.
“Someone’s going to get their skirts tossed up in the hayloft,” Alyssa muttered then giggled again.
Bess giggled with her then stated, eyes still on Orion, “My turn next,” and she moved away from the balcony with a quick wave, a big smile and a, “Farewell, ladies.”
Hmm. It seemed Orion was about to get lucky.
“Not a bad idea,” Alyssa murmured, gave me a wicked grin and both Esther and I a wave as she also moved away, saying to me, “Please don’t need anything for, say… a few hours,” her wicked grin got more wicked when I nodded to her request then she sashayed down the balcony and disappeared inside.
Now Max or Stephan was going to get lucky.
Or whichever of Frey’s men Alyssa ran into first for I didn’t think Alyssa was all that picky. Then again, all of Frey’s guys were hot and nice.
I grinned to myself even as I wondered if this was all a good idea, for Frey’s men were Frey’s men, my girls were my girls, it was likely this would always be the way and we didn’t need a soap opera unfolding around us. I moved to Esther who, I was thinking as she still looked deep in thought and her eyes were still directed at the stables, agreed.
“You okay?” I asked when we were close, she started, her eyes came to me and I watched her force a smile.
“I am fine, Finnie,” she answered.
“You don’t look fine,” I observed, her fake smile faltered and her eyes slid back to the stables so I got closer and enquired gently, “Is this going to be bad, you girls having dalliances with Frey’s men?”
Esther’s eyes came quickly to me, her brows drawn then her face relaxed and she shook her head. “No. It is usually fun and games, the heart isn’t involved. Dalliances occur often and those involved move on with no ill-will, even to friends of the men or women involved.” She explained this but hesitated, her eyes drifting back to the stables and she muttered, “But…” and then she trailed off.
“But what?” I prompted and she looked back at me.
Then she got closer and took my hand before saying softly, “But our Jocelyn, she admires The Drakkar’s Thad and not just because he is a tall, hearty lad with broad shoulders and pleasing eyes. But because he has a quick wit, an easy smile and, she’s noted on more than one occasion, a soft heart. And I fear,” her eyes went back to the stables, “hers is involved but his,” her eyes came back to me, “is not.”
I bit my lip for this might be true. While we were in Hawkvale, I wrote to my girls and they wrote to me. Mail took for freaking ever to get where it was going so there wasn’t a lot of communication but we’d managed to exchange a few letters and Jocelyn’s contributions asked after Thad. Her tone was casual but a forced casual that I thought, at the time, was kind of cute.
Now, thinking about it, all the time my girls had been amongst Frey’s boys and they switched favorites nearly daily, Jocelyn’s attention had always been taken by Thad and never strayed. Thad, on the other hand, I knew, unlike Ruben, did not have a steady woman and, indeed, like all of Frey’s other men, had a steady stream of women.
Ho boy.
I let my lip go and squeezed Esther’s hand, promising, “I’ll have a word with Frey and see if he’ll have a word with Thad to, um… assess the situation. If he won’t or if he will and the news is not good, then I’ll have a word with Jocelyn just to see where she is and give her a little, um… guidance.”
Esther’s eyes went soft and she nodded, “This would be good, my princess.” I nodded back, she squeezed my hand, her eyes going intense, she paused as if uncertain and I waited until she said quietly, “We all, well…” she hesitated. “We miss Sjofn.”
We hadn’t talked of it but all my girls knew I was expecting (though they were surprised I was for they said the powder was usually very reliable) and all of them knew what that meant which was the fact that their friend wasn’t coming back. And I knew all of them were sad about this but I also knew they were all trying to hide it from
me.
I held her hand tight and whispered, “I know, honey.”
“But, we’re all also glad you are so sweet.”
I smiled at her and, still whispering, said, “Thank you, Esther. That means a lot.”
She returned my smile before her eyes wandered back to the landscape, stopped on something and she muttered, “I best move, I don’t want to left out,” then she squeezed my hand again, let it go and hurried away.
I watched her a second then looked out to see Oleg striding toward the house while scowling at an Orion who was now smiling down at Bess then he swung his scowl to Max and Stephan who both appeared to be flirting with Alyssa and I had to admit, I was a little surprised at Esther’s choice. Oleg wasn’t hard on the eyes but he also wasn’t easygoing and quick to laugh or smile like all of Frey’s other men. In fact, he so wasn’t any of these, he seemed grumpy a lot of the time.
I waited then watched Esther approach him and then watched him stop and scowl at her, something which I thought was kind of scary but didn’t affect her in the slightest. She said something to him, his brows shot together then he jerked up his chin then jerked his whole head to the house. She turned toward it, he followed her and I wondered what she’d said to him. As she moved, her eyes came up to me and she smiled.
I smiled back.
Oleg, if her smile was anything to go by and he could quit being grumpy long enough to catch a pass, was about to get lucky too.
I left the balcony and in so doing left my girls to it and headed to Frey and my bedroom to get my book and Penelope.
Instead of thinking about how I was going to get my husband to agree to let me return home for a little while to say good-bye to my old life, I wanted to lose myself in a book while reclining on one of the comfortable, wooden lounge chairs on the deck. These had a big, iron fire pit next to them that put off so much heat, what with that and the summer thaw Frey told me about that was warming the air, making the days longer and the snow melt and the icicles drip, you didn’t have to wear a cloak. I knew this because I’d tested it last night, cuddling with Frey in one of those chairs with a big fire blazing beside us and making out until Frey was done making out and carried me to our bedroom to do a lot more than make out. But considering the activities of my girls and Frey’s men, and the fact that he only had a housekeeper at his lodge, no other servants, and further he likely wouldn’t be fired up about me building my own fire considering he thought pregnancy required severely limited physical activity (as in, none at all except to walk, sit, eat and have sex), I decided I’d curl up by the fire in the living room. There were super-soft, comfy couches in there, so comfy, they were a very good second best.
Or, at least they would be until Frey returned from whatever he was doing and I could ask him to build me a fire.
I entered our bedroom through the wooden doors that led to the balcony, closed them behind me and started to the nightstand on my side of the bed where my book was when the hairs at the back of my neck stood up.
I stopped, my breath stopped and I turned slowly then stopped again, going completely still at what I saw.
In the armchair in the corner by the windows sat Valentine wearing a fabulous, jade green, wool knit, wraparound dress, equally fabulous, spike-heeled, charcoal gray boots and her tremendously fabulous red hair was framing the classic features of her alabaster face.
Penelope was curled in her lap purring as Valentine’s blood-red fingernails moved through her thick, ginger fur.
Holy moly.
“Valentine?” I whispered.
“Hello, my goddess of love,” she replied quietly, my eyes got big and I felt a smile hit my face as I rushed to her.
“Valentine! It is so cool you’re here!” I cried, her head tipped to the side, her lips tipped up slightly and her eyes flashed in a way that made my excitement at what I thought was a very surprising but also very fortunate turn of events fade to hesitant concern.
Then she solidified that concern when she said softly, “I fear, my Seoafin, after I say what I’ve come to say, you will not feel this same way.”
I felt my heart squeeze and a million thoughts raced through my head, primarily Sjofn wanting to come back and wanting to do that early.
Okay. Shit. First things first.
I needed to go get Frey.
“Please sit,” Valentine invited, regardless that it was actually my bedroom, and she did this by gracefully throwing out her pale hand to indicate the bed.
“I…” I started, didn’t know how to go on then I went on anyway. “A lot has happened Valentine, you can’t imagine. A lot. Huge. I need to go get someone so you can meet him and then we need to talk.”
“Please, Seoafin, sit,” she semi-repeated and I blinked at her.
“Seriously, I have to –” I started but she interrupted me.
“Tell me you are married to Frey Drakkar and you are pregnant with his child. This, ma cherie, I know,” she stated, I sucked in a surprised breath and she went on. “Now, please, considering you are, indeed, expecting, I would very much prefer it if you were seated when I say what I’ve come to say.”
I stared at her thinking this did not sound good.
Then I moved to the bed and sat.
What I wanted to do, watching her face, was move to the door and run.
Penelope, shockingly, didn’t leave Valentine’s lap but stayed purring right where she was and while doing it didn’t even twitch.
My cat, by the way, was still holding her grudge.
Once I was down, I unhooked my light wool cloak, pulled it off my shoulders and it fell to the bed as I kept my eyes on her.
Then I asked, “How do you know about Frey and me?”
She tilted her head slightly before answering, “I told you I am not a seer and this is true, I am not. I do not have visions and I cannot call up scenes from the future. This does not mean I cannot tune into people of our world, or this one, and see what has past. And this I have been doing with you since you left.”
“You’ve been keeping an eye on me?” I asked, not upset about this, exactly, just surprised.
“It was not by choice. You call to me, Seoafin, I do not know why. But you do. So, yes, since you do, I have been keeping an eye on you.”
It was interesting, this “calling to her” business, but I decided for now that we needed to keep on target.
“So you know when I got here that I –” I started.
“I know everything,” she interrupted me, took in a delicate breath, her eyes narrowing slightly on me and then she went on, speaking softly but even so, the words she spoke rocked my world.
“I know that your emotion runs deep for your husband and his for you. However, I feel it is important that you know all so the happiness you are experiencing will be true and rich rather than shadowed by misunderstanding. So, I’ve been watching and waiting for your husband to clear those shadows. Alas, he has not so, unusually, I feel compelled to do so.”
I didn’t have anything to say to that and since I was concentrating on keeping my tightening neck muscles from snapping, I didn’t make a peep.
Valentine carried on. “Therefore, I must inform you that I also know that before you felt this emotion for him, and he was aware of his depth of feeling for you, in order to bind you to this land and to him for the future of this country and for his own ends as he held extreme distaste for your twin, he ordered the elves of this world to bind you here for the rest of your days at the same time he ordered that the other Sjofn be bound to your world… and your life… for the rest of hers.”
I blinked but said nothing mostly because I had no air in my lungs and my throat suddenly felt parched.
Valentine kept speaking. “The power held by these creatures is immense, unbreakable. It is so powerful I have never felt the like of it. Still, I have searched for magic or some means of thwarting it but my search was fruitless and I fear this kind of magic does not exist.” She paused, held my gaze and delivered the killing blow, �
�You are never to go home, Seoafin, ever. And your twin will never come back, ever.”
I stared at her, now unblinking, she held my stare and continued.
“Your husband made this decision without consulting you and he did this on the night you first learned of the existence of elves.”
I kept staring as my mind reeled.
That night… that night…
Oh my God. We barely knew each other back then. He’d just come back from being away with his men. Although he told me he fell in love with me while I was mixing pancake batter, and maybe when he looked back this was the true, but at the time he didn’t trust me and I wasn’t even certain he liked me. He didn’t even know who I was until the elves told him. In fact, he wouldn’t start being really sweet and gentle, becoming my Frey, until after that night.
After he’d cut me off from my world – completely and forever.
And he cut me off because the elves had told him who I was. He cut me off because Sjofn was a lesbian and I was not. He cut me off because he could get from me for the rest of his life what he wouldn’t get from her.
And he did all of this without asking me.
He irrevocably changed my life and imprisoned me in this world, cutting me off from people I loved and the world I knew without asking and at a time when I had no intention of staying.
Oh… my… God.
“And when,” Valentine continued and my dazed, wounded attention shot back to her, “I sent a message through the witch of this world, Agnes, to inform you this happened, your husband intercepted it, lied to me through Agnes about your desires to remain, saying you were aware of this situation and had agreed to stay. He then disallowed Agnes any communication with you even though much was happening in this world and your own.”
Oh my God.
“And now, ma cherie,” she kept going, her voice gentling, indicating she was not done delivering her death blows, “even though I do sense you are pleased that you are bound to this world and further bound to it through the child you carry, you must know that your husband orchestrated that as well. He did this without your knowledge and, until it came about and you decided to be pleased mostly because the deed was done and you had no choice, he also did it against your will.”
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