by L. A. Witt
“Maybe.”
We locked eyes, and both of our smiles faded. Yeah, we’d definitely gotten closer than we should have, and we were almost that close again.
I freed myself from his embrace and cleared my throat. “So, um. Considering the dogs scared the guy off, Fowler’s even checking into bringing in a K9 presence to patrol outside.”
A playful but hesitant smile materialized on his lips. “You must love that, having another dog around.”
“I can handle those. They’re on leashes.” I glanced at Talos, who was lying by the foot of the bed.
“He still makes you nervous?”
“Uh, yeah.”
He cocked his head. “You guys were practically cuddling last night.”
“Yeah, I know.” I glanced at Talos. “Seemed like I kind of owed him one.”
“But you’re still afraid of him.”
My cheeks burned, and I nodded. “He’s a dog. Yes, I’m afraid of him.”
“He really is harmless unless you give him a reason not to be.”
I arched an eyebrow. “And what qualifies as a reason not to be?”
“Well, you might not want to put me in a headlock or anything.”
“I, uh…good to know? I guess?”
“Promise. As long as you’re not hurting me, and you’re not a duck or a squirrel, you’re good.”
“A duck?”
“God yes.” Troy chuckled. “He loves chasing ducks.
I laughed. “Poor ducks…”
“Seriously, he’s just a big teddy bear.” He knelt beside Talos and gestured for me to do the same. When I did, he said, “Put your hand out. Palm up.”
“Why?”
“Just do it.”
I hesitated, but then did as he said.
Talos leaned forward and sniffed it.
“See? He doesn’t bite.” Troy smiled. “Talos, shake.”
Talos shifted slightly, picked up one of his giant paws, and put it in my hand.
“Good God. His paws weigh a ton.”
“They have to.” Troy tousled Talos’s ears. “He’s built like a tank.”
“True.”
Talos watched me, head cocked slightly as if to say are you done with my paw yet, dumbass?
I set his paw down.
Then Troy and I both got up and moved toward the chairs where we’d been studying in last night before things had gotten out of hand, but neither of us sat. I was too damned restless. Judging by the way he couldn’t quite stand still, I guessed he was too.
“So, um.” I gestured at him. “That’s a different look for you.”
“I do take the makeup off once in a while.”
“I like it like that.”
Troy smiled, and he actually blushed a little. “The other look, it’s not me. I mean, it kind of is.” He laughed shyly. “I didn’t wear the eyeliner before, but I kind of like it now.”
I slipped my hand into his. “Why do you wear all of it?”
“Because it makes me feel…” He lowered his gaze. “Okay, it sounds kind of stupid, but when I’m dressed like that, people expect me to be antisocial. So when I keep everyone at arm’s length, they’re not surprised. Nobody asks questions, and nobody tries to get closer.”
“That sounds incredibly…”
“Stupid?”
“Lonely.”
Troy winced. “Yeah, it is. But it’s safe too.”
“Is it?”
He held my gaze for a moment, then lowered his. “I’ve spent my entire life moving every few years. I don’t get close to people because they’ll be gone soon.” He exhaled. “Then Ben came along, and I…” He pushed a few strings of wet hair out of his face. “God, I was so stupid.”
I squeezed his hand. “What happened?”
“He just seemed like a really good guy, you know? And for the first time, I had a choice. If things were going well with him the next time my dad transferred, I could stay if I wanted to. So I thought, what the hell? Why not see how it went?” He rubbed the back of his neck and looked anywhere but right at me. “It was the first time I ever really connected to someone. And now I can’t get away from him.”
“Psychos are the most charming sometimes.”
“That, or I’m a gullible idiot.”
“Troy.” I touched his face. “None of this is on you. All you did was fall in love with somebody. You couldn’t have known he’d turn out to be a psycho.” Tracing his sharp cheekbone with my thumb, I added, “We’ve all fallen for those guys. They’re really, really good at hiding their crazy.”
His eyes flicked up and met mine. “You’ve been with a guy like that before?”
“I’ve…dated my share of assholes, let’s put it that way.”
“Kind of makes you wonder if there are any nice guys out there.” We were moving closer. “Do you think there are?”
“I do.” I didn’t know who was initiating it, controlling it, but we were definitely inching closer. “They’re definitely out there.”
“Yeah?” His palm warmed my cheek. “Where?”
“Don’t know.” I gulped. “Maybe the…” God, he was so close. “Maybe…”
“Hmm?”
“Maybe the good guys are the ones who’ve…” I slid my hand into his hair, cradling the back of his head. “They’re the ones who’ve been burned and know how much it hurts.”
“So guys like…” He tilted his head slightly and leaned in even closer. “Us?”
“Maybe.” I tilted mine. Let myself be drawn in. Could barely breathe. “What’re the odds we’ve both been fucked over, and just want to fuck someone else over?”
“Hmm, good point.” His gaze flicked toward my lips, then back to my eyes. “What are the odds of two guys meeting who don’t want to fuck each other over?”
“Seem pretty good to me. Question is…” Fuck, his lips were so tempting. “What are the odds they both want the same thing?”
“Who the fuck knows? But we—” Troy drew back. “What about your lip? The—”
“It’s fine.” I curved my hand around the back of his neck, the ends of his hair tickling the side of my finger. “Just don’t…”
He’d moved closer again. “Don’t what?”
“D-don’t…” I pulled in a breath. “Don’t stop.”
“Wasn’t planning to.” His lower lip brushed mine. Again. The third time, I leaned in and crossed the line from almost there to kissing completely, and the whole world just…disappeared. He’d been an amazing kisser the first time, but this time? Jesus.
With nothing interrupting us, we didn’t hold back. His hands slid beneath my shirt. Mine curved over his hips. He was rock hard against me, just a few layers of clothes separating our fully erect cocks, and the longer and deeper we kissed, the faster my head spun.
I broke the kiss, breathing hard against his lips. “We should be…we…” God, it was impossible to stop kissing him long enough to tell him we should stop kissing. There was absolutely no reason in the universe why I should know how this felt, or how it felt to have Troy’s hard-on pressing against mine, or why I’d been seconds away from suggesting we do more than grind together. Maybe it was a good thing that damned dog had lost his shit when he had the other night, or we’d have probably gotten in way over our heads.
Just like we were doing now.
“Shit.” Troy put his hands on my chest and nudged me back. “We shouldn’t.”
Well, at least one of us still had some control.
“I know.” I sighed. “Damn it.”
“Right?”
I met his eyes. He held my gaze.
I slowly ran the tip of my tongue across my lip. “If we keep this up, we’re going to be at it all night.”
Troy nodded. “I know. Part of me says fuck it. Part of me says
…” He smirked. “Part of me really wants to pass that exam tomorrow.”
I laughed. “Yeah, same here.”
“And…” He cringed. “What if my dad finds out about this?”
Oh fuck. “You have to live with him.”
“But he’s your boss.”
“Yeah. He is.” I ran my hand through Troy’s hair. “And yeah, there’s all kinds of regs he could throw at me. But…” I watched my fingertips drift down the side of his neck to his collarbone. “Part of me thinks this is going to compromise my ability to do my job,” I whispered. “But part of me thinks it’s the exact opposite.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean the whole reason I’m here is to protect you. And the closer I get to you, the more I want to do whatever it takes to keep you safe.”
He held my gaze. “Really?”
I nodded. “I don’t want anything to—”
He kissed me.
Whatever I’d been saying faded away into the back of my mind, and a million red flags sprang up, reminding me I had no business doing this, but Troy’s lips were so soft and gentle, and his hair was cool between my fingers, and his body was just perfect and hot against mine.
“Fuck it,” he said against my lips. “I know we shouldn’t, but I want to.”
“So do I. But…I should probably go,” I whispered. “Because if we keep doing this, I think we’re going to get carried away and go too far.”
“We haven’t yet.”
“Doesn’t mean we won’t.”
“So why keep fighting it?”
“Because we shouldn’t…” Oh, to hell with it. I pulled him closer and kissed him hard, and he rewarded me with a whimper.
Then he pulled back and grabbed the front of my shirt. “What we shouldn’t be doing is standing here when there’s a perfectly good bed right over there.”
“I do love the way you think,” I said, and let myself be led across the room to his bed. He sank onto the mattress and pulled me down with him.
“I thought you liked your guys older,” he murmured between kisses. “With more experience.”
“I’m willing to make exceptions.” I ran my nails down his sides, grinning when he gasped. “Especially for someone who kisses the way you do.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Mmhmm.”
“Good to know. More?”
“Please.”
I slid my hand down his smooth abs, and he gripped the back of my neck, kissing me hard. I teased just above his waistband, and he gasped. Then I cupped his erection, stroking him slowly through the thin, warm fabric of his boxers.
“Oh my God,” he groaned. “That feels so…”
“Like that?”
“Uh-huh.” He grabbed my wrist and guided my hand to his waistband.
I grinned against his lips. “You want something?”
“Mmhmm.”
I let my fingertips slide past the elastic, and he whimpered before claiming my mouth in another kiss. I slid my hand over his ass, and he gasped.
I paused.
That gasp hadn’t been one of pleasure or excitement. His whole body tensed against mine.
“You okay?”
“I…”
I freed my hand and wrapped my arms around him. “Talk to me.”
“I’m…” His cheeks darkened, and he looked away. “It’s not you.”
“It’s him, isn’t it? Your ex?”
The shudder said it all.
I drew him in closer. “What did he do to you?”
He flinched and still avoided my eyes.
“Troy?”
“I don’t want to think about him right now.” He looked at me again and ran his fingers through my short hair. “I only want to think about you.”
“I know.” I cupped his face, running my thumb along his cheekbone. “But if he’s hurt you, I don’t want to screw up and hurt you too.”
He winced, and I vowed then and there to break his ex-boyfriend’s neck if I ever had half a fucking chance.
“I want to keep going,” he whispered. “I liked what you were doing.”
“You sure?”
He nodded.
I slid my hand down again, hesitating before the waistband. He pressed up against me, grinding his cock against mine but also encouraging my hand to move lower. I worked my hand under the elastic, and we both gasped as my fingers wrapped around his hard cock.
He gasped again.
And I froze.
Lifting my head, I whispered, “You okay?”
“Yeah.” He nodded and swept his tongue across his lips. “It’s just, uh, been a while.”
“But, are you okay? Do you want me to stop?”
“I, uh…” He avoided my eyes. “I want this. I want…I want you.” Meeting my gaze, he whispered, “But one thing at a time.”
“Okay…?”
He swallowed. “I don’t want to stop, but I don’t want to fuck tonight.”
“We don’t have to.” I trailed the backs of my fingers along his cheek. “There’s plenty we can do. As long as I’m in bed with you, I couldn’t care less how far we go.”
“Are you sure?”
“I’m not in any hurry.” I combed my fingers through his disheveled black hair. “If you’re not ready for more, we don’t have to.”
He held my gaze, and a small smile played at his lips. “No, I want more. Just…” The smile faltered. “Maybe not tonight.”
I kissed his cheek. “Whenever you’re ready, just say the word.”
“I will.”
“Good. And in the meantime…” I propped myself up on my arm and rested my hand on his chest. “We don’t have to do anything.” I trailed my fingers down his cheek. “You won’t hear me complaining if we just lie here and make out.”
His smile turned to a devilish grin. “Well, I’m not going to object to doing that.”
“Aren’t you?”
“Not a chance.”
I kissed him and didn’t pull away. As the seconds ticked by, and I realized this wasn’t going to end as the light peck it was intended to be, I came down a little more and parted his lips with my tongue.
Troy’s fingers ran across the side of my head and down to my neck. I leaned over him, resting my arm beside him on the bed as he wrapped his arms around me.
I rolled over, lying back across the mattress, and brought him with me. He paused, though, and got up long enough for both of us to strip off our clothes.
“Much better,” he said as he sat over me, straddling me. “Now I can really feel you.”
“Uh-huh.” I curved my hands over his ass and pulled him down against me. Without any clothing in the way, feeling his dick against mine was mind-blowing.
He leaned down. I let my hands roam his body, exploring and memorizing every inch of his hot skin as we made out and pressed together.
His thumb brushed the cut on my forehead, and I flinched.
“Sorry, I—”
“It’s okay.”
And then he started to move. Slowly but deliberately letting the underside of his cock rub against mine.
“Holy fuck,” I whispered against his lips. “That’s…”
“Like that?”
“Oh my God, yes.”
He moved faster. Pressed harder. How long he did it, I had no idea, but I was in heaven, making out with him and rubbing against him and letting him have total control over everything.
He groaned, and shifted a little, and he found a new rhythm that was just…holy fuck. The speed, the friction—everything was perfect.
“Troy…fuck…” I gasped for breath, my eyes rolling back as he kept thrusting against me and the friction drove me crazy. “Just…like…”
He kissed me, and that was the only thi
ng that kept me from crying out as my orgasm tore through me, turning my entire body to liquid electricity as Troy kept fucking against me, kept kissing me, kept driving me completely out of my fucking mind.
As my climax tapered off, I relaxed against the mattress again, and held on to him for dear life. “Holy crap.”
He laughed. “That good, eh?”
“That good.”
He handed me some tissues from the nightstand, and we both wiped away the semen.
Then I gathered him into my arms and kissed him. “I owe you one. Good God.”
Troy laughed again, but it faded as he drew back and met my eyes. “You really don’t care if this is all we do tonight?”
I grinned cautiously. “Did I sound like I cared?”
“You know what I mean.”
“I do, and no, I don’t mind at all.” I licked my lips. “I’ve got you naked in bed with me. Everything else is just a bonus.”
“Do you want more than this?”
“Of course I do.” I kissed him lightly and ran my fingers through his hair. “But it doesn’t have to be tonight.” I pressed another kiss onto his lips and added, “All you have to do is say the word, and I’ll do just about anything that turns you on.”
Troy shivered and held me tighter, drawing me into another long, deep kiss. A kiss that got even longer and deeper and more breathless, as we pulled each other closer. Even that postcoital fatigue that was trying to set in couldn’t stop me from aching to do something about the very prominent erection pressed against my hip, so I slid my hand down his side and nudged us apart.
When he lifted his hips, I wrapped my hand around his still-hard cock and started stroking slowly.
Troy gasped. “God, that’s amazing.”
“Good.” I dragged my lips across his and tightened my grasp on his dick. “And just for the record, I don’t care if we’re fucking, or if we’re just lying here, or making out. Whatever.” I added the slightest twist to my strokes, just to make him whimper. “I just want you, Troy. Anything you want, say the word.” I kissed him and murmured, “Anything.”
“Fuck,” he breathed. “I’m not…” He gasped, shuddering and arching. “Not ready yet. I need some…some time.” His fingers dug into my shoulder, and his hips damn near levitated off the bed as he fucked into my hand. “But, holy shit, I want us to fuck.”