Carlisle’s face was very smooth as he nodded. “We split up, too.”
Jane half-smiled. “I can’t deny that I’m impressed.” The big shadows behind her murmured in agreement. “I’ve never seen a coven escape this magnitude of offensive intact. Do you know what was behind it? It seems like extreme behavior, considering the way you live here. And why was the girl the key?” Her eyes rested unwilling on me for one short second.
I shivered.
“Victoria held a grudge against Bella,” Edward told her, his voice impassive.
Jane laughed — the sound was golden, the bubbling laugh of a happy child. “This one seems to bring out bizarrely strong reactions in our kind,” she observed, smiling directly at me, her face beatific.
Edward stiffened. I looked at him in time to see his face turning away, back to Jane.
“Would you please not do that?” he asked in a tight voice.
Jane laughed again lightly. “Just checking. No harm done, apparently.”
I shivered, deeply grateful that the strange glitch in my system — which had protected me from Jane the last time we’d met — was still in effect. Edward’s arm tightened around me.
“Well, it appears that there’s not much left for us to do. Odd,” Jane said, apathy creeping back into her voice. “We’re not used to being rendered unnecessary. It’s too bad we missed the fight. It sounds like it would have been entertaining to watch.”
“Yes,” Edward answered her quickly, his voice sharp. “And you were so close. It’s a shame you didn’t arrive just a half hour earlier. Perhaps then you could have fulfilled your purpose here.”
Jane met Edward’s glare with unwavering eyes. “Yes. Quite a pity how things turned out, isn’t it?”
Edward nodded once to himself, his suspicions confirmed.
Jane turned to look at the newborn Bree again, her face completely bored. “Felix?” she drawled.
“Wait,” Edward interjected.
Jane raised one eyebrow, but Edward was staring at Carlisle while he spoke in an urgent voice. “We could explain the rules to the young one. She doesn’t seem unwilling to learn. She didn’t know what she was doing.”
“Of course,” Carlisle answered. “We would certainly be prepared to take responsibility for Bree.”
Jane’s expression was torn between amusement and disbelief.
“We don’t make exceptions,” she said. “And we don’t give second chances. It’s bad for our reputation. Which reminds me . . .” Suddenly, her eyes were on me again, and her cherubic face dimpled. “Caius will be so interested to hear that you’re still human, Bella. Perhaps he’ll decide to visit.”
“The date is set,” Alice told Jane, speaking for the first time. “Perhaps we’ll come to visit you in a few months.”
Jane’s smile faded, and she shrugged indifferently, never looking at Alice. She turned to face Carlisle. “It was nice to meet you, Carlisle — I’d thought Aro was exaggerating. Well, until we meet again . . .”
Carlisle nodded, his expression pained.
“Take care of that, Felix,” Jane said, nodding toward Bree, her voice dripping boredom. “I want to go home.”
“Don’t watch,” Edward whispered in my ear.
I was only too eager to follow his instruction. I’d seen more than enough for one day — more than enough for one lifetime. I squeezed my eyes tightly together and turned my face into Edward’s chest.
But I could still hear.
There was a deep, rumbling growl, and then a high-pitched keen that was horribly familiar. That sound cut off quickly, and then the only sound was a sickening crunching and snapping.
Edward’s hand rubbed anxiously against my shoulders.
“Come,” Jane said, and I looked up in time to see the backs of the tall gray cloaks drifting away toward the curling smoke. The incense smell was strong again — fresh.
The gray cloaks disappeared into the thick mist.
26. ETHICS
THE COUNTER IN ALICE’S BATHROOM WAS COVERED WITH a thousand different products, all claiming to beautify a person’s surface. Since everyone in this house was both perfect and impermeable, I could only assume that she’d bought most of these things with me in mind. I read the labels numbly, struck by the waste.
I was careful never to look in the long mirror.
Alice combed through my hair with a slow, rhythmic motion.
“That’s enough, Alice,” I said tonelessly. “I want to go back to La Push.”
How many hours had I waited for Charlie to finally leave Billy’s house so that I could see Jacob? Each minute, not knowing if Jacob was still breathing or not, had seemed like ten lifetimes. And then, when at last I’d been allowed to go, to see for myself that Jacob was alive, the time had gone so quickly. I felt like I’d barely caught my breath before Alice was calling Edward, insisting that I keep up this ridiculous sleepover façade. It seemed so insignificant. . . .
“Jacob’s still unconscious,” Alice answered. “Carlisle or Edward will call when he’s awake. Anyway, you need to go see Charlie. He was there at Billy’s house, he saw that Carlisle and Edward are back in from their trip, and he’s bound to be suspicious when you get home.”
I already had my story memorized and corroborated. “I don’t care. I want to be there when Jacob wakes up.”
“You need to think of Charlie now. You’ve had a long day — sorry, I know that doesn’t begin to cover it — but that doesn’t mean that you can shirk your responsibilities.” Her voice was serious, almost chiding. “It’s more important now than ever that Charlie stays safely in the dark. Play your role first, Bella, and then you can do what you want second. Part of being a Cullen is being meticulously responsible.”
Of course she was right. And if not for this same reason — a reason that was more powerful than all my fear and pain and guilt — Carlisle would never have been able to talk me into leaving Jacob’s side, unconscious or not.
“Go home,” Alice ordered. “Talk to Charlie. Flesh out your alibi. Keep him safe.”
I stood, and the blood flowed down to my feet, stinging like the pricks of a thousand needles. I’d been sitting still for a long time.
“That dress is adorable on you,” Alice cooed.
“Huh? Oh. Er — thanks again for the clothes,” I mumbled out of courtesy rather than real gratitude.
“You need the evidence,” Alice said, her eyes innocent and wide. “What’s a shopping trip without a new outfit? It’s very flattering, if I do say so myself.”
I blinked, unable to remember what she’d dressed me in. I couldn’t keep my thoughts from skittering away every few seconds, insects running from the light. . . .
“Jacob is fine, Bella,” Alice said, easily interpreting my preoccupation. “There’s no hurry. If you realized how much extra morphine Carlisle had to give him — what with his temperature burning it off so quickly — you would know that he’s going to be out for a while.”
At least he wasn’t in any pain. Not yet.
“Is there anything you want to talk about before you leave?” Alice asked sympathetically. “You must be more than a little traumatized.”
I knew what she was curious about. But I had other questions.
“Will I be like that?” I asked her, my voice subdued. “Like that girl Bree in the meadow?”
There were many things I needed to think of, but I couldn’t seem to get her out of my head, the newborn whose other life was now — abruptly — over. Her face, twisted with desire for my blood, lingered behind my eyelids.
Alice stroked my arm. “Everyone is different. But something like that, yes.”
I was very still, trying to imagine.
“It passes,” she promised.
“How soon?”
She shrugged. “A few years, maybe less. It might be different for you. I’ve never seen anyone go through this who’s chosen it beforehand. It should be interesting to see how that affects you.”
“Interesting,” I
repeated.
“We’ll keep you out of trouble.”
“I know that. I trust you.” My voice was monotone, dead.
Alice’s forehead puckered. “If you’re worried about Carlisle and Edward, I’m sure they’ll be fine. I believe Sam is beginning to trust us . . . well, to trust Carlisle, at least. It’s a good thing, too. I imagine the atmosphere got a little tense when Carlisle had to rebreak the fractures —”
“Please, Alice.”
“Sorry.”
I took a deep breath to steady myself. Jacob had begun healing too quickly, and some of his bones had set wrong. He’d been out cold for the process, but it was still hard to think about.
“Alice, can I ask you a question? About the future?”
She was suddenly wary. “You know I don’t see everything.”
“It’s not that, exactly. But you do see my future, sometimes. Why is that, do you think, when nothing else works on me? Not what Jane can do, or Edward or Aro . . .” My sentence trailed off with my interest level. My curiosity on this point was fleeting, heavily overshadowed by more pressing emotions.
Alice, however, found the question very interesting. “Jasper, too, Bella — his talent works on your body just as well as it does on anyone else’s. That’s the difference, do you see it? Jasper’s abilities affect the body physically. He really does calm your system down, or excite it. It’s not an illusion. And I see visions of outcomes, not the reasons and thoughts behind the decisions that create them. It’s outside the mind, not an illusion, either; reality, or at least one version of it. But Jane and Edward and Aro and Demetri — they work inside the mind. Jane only creates an illusion of pain. She doesn’t really hurt your body, you only think you feel it. You see, Bella? You are safe inside your mind. No one can reach you there. It’s no wonder that Aro was so curious about your future abilities.”
She watched my face to see if I was following her logic. In truth, her words had all started to run together, the syllables and sounds losing their meaning. I couldn’t concentrate on them. Still, I nodded. Trying to look like I got it.
She wasn’t fooled. She stroked my cheek and murmured, “He’s going to be okay, Bella. I don’t need a vision to know that. Are you ready to go?”
“One more thing. Can I ask you another question about the future? I don’t want specifics, just an overview.”
“I’ll do my best,” she said, doubtful again.
“Can you still see me becoming a vampire?”
“Oh, that’s easy. Sure, I do.”
I nodded slowly.
She examined my face, her eyes unfathomable. “Don’t you know your own mind, Bella?”
“I do. I just wanted to be sure.”
“I’m only as sure as you are, Bella. You know that. If you were to change your mind, what I see would change . . . or disappear, in your case.”
I sighed. “That isn’t going to happen, though.”
She put her arms around me. “I’m sorry. I can’t really empathize. My first memory is of seeing Jasper’s face in my future; I always knew that he was where my life was headed. But I can sympathize. I’m so sorry you have to choose between two good things.”
I shook off her arms. “Don’t feel sorry for me.” There were people who deserved sympathy. I wasn’t one of them. And there wasn’t any choice to make — there was just breaking a good heart to attend to now. “I’ll go deal with Charlie.”
I drove my truck home, where Charlie was waiting just as suspiciously as Alice had expected.
“Hey, Bella. How was your shopping trip?” he greeted me when I walked into the kitchen. He had his arms folded over his chest, his eyes on my face.
“Long,” I said dully. “We just got back.”
Charlie assessed my mood. “I guess you already heard about Jake, then?”
“Yes. The rest of the Cullens beat us home. Esme told us where Carlisle and Edward were.”
“Are you okay?”
“Worried about Jake. As soon as I make dinner, I’m going down to La Push.”
“I told you those motorcycles were dangerous. I hope this makes you realize that I wasn’t kidding around.”
I nodded as I started pulling things out of the fridge. Charlie settled himself in at the table. He seemed to be in a more talkative mood than usual.
“I don’t think you need to worry about Jake too much. Anyone who can cuss with that kind of energy is going to recover.”
“Jake was awake when you saw him?” I asked, spinning to look at him.
“Oh, yeah, he was awake. You should have heard him — actually, it’s better you didn’t. I don’t think there was anyone in La Push who couldn’t hear him. I don’t know where he picked up that vocabulary, but I hope he hasn’t been using that kind of language around you.”
“He had a pretty good excuse today. How did he look?”
“Messed up. His friends carried him in. Good thing they’re big boys, ’cause that kid’s an armful. Carlisle said his right leg is broken, and his right arm. Pretty much the whole right side of his body got crushed when he wrecked that damn bike.” Charlie shook his head. “If I ever hear of you riding again, Bella —”
“No problem there, Dad. You won’t. Do you really think Jake’s okay?”
“Sure, Bella, don’t worry. He was himself enough to tease me.”
“Tease you?” I echoed in shock.
“Yeah — in between insulting somebody’s mother and taking the Lord’s name in vain, he said, ‘Bet you’re glad she loves Cullen instead of me today, huh, Charlie?’”
I turned back to the fridge so that he couldn’t see my face.
“And I couldn’t argue. Edward’s more mature than Jacob when it comes to your safety, I’ll give him that much.”
“Jacob’s plenty mature,” I muttered defensively. “I’m sure this wasn’t his fault.”
“Weird day today,” Charlie mused after a minute. “You know, I don’t put much stock in that superstitious crap, but it was odd. . . . It was like Billy knew something bad was going to happen to Jake. He was nervous as a turkey on Thanksgiving all morning. I don’t think he heard anything I said to him.
“And then, weirder than that — remember back in February and March when we had all that trouble with the wolves?”
I bent down to get a frying pan out of the cupboard, and hid there an extra second or two.
“Yeah,” I mumbled.
“I hope we’re not going to have a problem with that again. This morning, we were out in the boat, and Billy wasn’t paying any attention to me or the fish, when all of a sudden, you could hear wolves yowling in the woods. More than one, and, boy, was it loud. Sounded like they were right there in the village. Weirdest part was, Billy turned the boat around and headed straight back to the harbor like they were calling to him personally. Didn’t even hear me ask what he was doing.
“The noise stopped before we got the boat docked. But all of a sudden Billy was in the biggest hurry not to miss the game, though we had hours still. He was mumbling some nonsense about an earlier showing . . . of a live game? I tell you, Bella, it was odd.
“Well, he found some game he said he wanted to watch, but then he just ignored it. He was on the phone the whole time, calling Sue, and Emily, and your friend Quil’s grandpa. Couldn’t quite make out what he was looking for — he just chatted real casual with them.
“Then the howling started again right outside the house. I’ve never heard anything like it — I had goose bumps on my arms. I asked Billy — had to shout over the noise — if he’d been setting traps in his yard. It sounded like the animal was in serious pain.”
I winced, but Charlie was so caught up in his story that he didn’t notice.
“’Course I forgot all about that till just this minute, ’cause that’s when Jake made it home. One minute it was that wolf yowling, and then you couldn’t hear it anymore — Jake’s cussing drowned it right out. Got a set of lungs on him, that boy does.”
Charlie paus
ed for a minute, his face thoughtful. “Funny that some good should come out of this mess. I didn’t think they were ever going to get over that fool prejudice they have against the Cullens down there. But somebody called Carlisle, and Billy was real grateful when he showed up. I thought we should get Jake up to the hospital, but Billy wanted to keep him home, and Carlisle agreed. I guess Carlisle knows what’s best. Generous of him to sign up for such a long stretch of house calls.”
“And . . .” he paused, as if unwilling to say something. He sighed, and then continued. “And Edward was really . . . nice. He seemed as worried about Jacob as you are — like that was his brother lying there. The look in his eyes . . .” Charlie shook his head. “He’s a decent guy, Bella. I’ll try to remember that. No promises, though.” He grinned at me.
“I won’t hold you to it,” I mumbled.
Charlie stretched his legs and groaned. “It’s nice to be home. You wouldn’t believe how crowded Billy’s little place gets. Seven of Jake’s friends all squished themselves into that little front room — I could hardly breathe. Have you ever noticed how big those Quileute kids all are?”
“Yeah, I have.”
Charlie stared at me, his eyes abruptly more focused. “Really, Bella, Carlisle said Jake will be up and around in no time. Said it looked a lot worse than it was. He’s going to be fine.”
I just nodded.
Jacob had looked so . . . strangely fragile when I’d hurried down to see him as soon as Charlie had left. He’d had braces everywhere — Carlisle said there was no point in plaster, as fast as he was healing. His face had been pale and drawn, deeply unconscious though he was at the time. Breakable. Huge as he was, he’d looked very breakable. Maybe that had just been my imagination, coupled with the knowledge that I was going to have to break him.
If only I could be struck by lightning and be split in two. Preferably painfully. For the first time, giving up being human felt like a true sacrifice. Like it might be too much to lose.
I put Charlie’s dinner on the table next to his elbow and headed for the door.
“Er, Bella? Could you wait just a second?”
The Twilight Saga Collection Page 126