by Tamie Dearen
“But Josh saved you, right? Now do you believe he loves you?” asked Grace.
Charlie’s attention was drawn to Collin’s laughter.
“Give it back, Collin!” Derek grabbed for something Collin was holding over his head.
“What is this? You’ve got some phone porn here?” asked Collin. “Charlie, did you know your date’s got a picture of some topless woman on his phone?”
“That’s not mine,” said Derek. “Give it here!” He lunged for it, but Collin jumped up and ran around the table.
“Oh, I see. It’s a text message. Someone’s sexting him,” Collin chuckled. “Who is she, Derek?”
“Collin, stop! Give me the phone. It’s a legal matter.”
“Give it back, Collin,” said Grace. “We don’t want to look at that.”
“It’s Josh’s phone,” said Charlie. “That’s Josh’s phone.” She snatched it from Collin and stared at the image on the text. “Who is this? Why is...” Her voice caught in her throat.
“Charlie,” said Derek. “It’s not his fault. She’s stalking him.”
“Then why did he save these pictures?”
“Oh, Charlie. It’s that crazy nurse from Colorado. Josh is just trying to figure out how to stop her.” Olivia reached to take the phone from her hand.
Charlie dropped the phone in Olivia’s hand, retreating from the table. She had to get away from everyone. She needed time to process. It wasn’t the fact some girl was sexting him. The pictures only reminded her of what she already knew. Josh had been with so many women in the past—sexy, curvy, voluptuous women. With her boyish body, she could never compete. She could never satisfy Josh Branson.
Chapter Twenty-One
“WHERE’S CHARLIE?” JOSH arrived at the table, irritated at the necessity of abandoning her right after her traumatic experience.
Olivia’s face was creased with worry. “I don’t know, Josh. She got upset and left. Emily and Grace went looking for her, and they haven’t come back yet.”
“I’m sorry, Josh,” said Derek. “It was Collin who stuck that picture under her nose.”
“What are you talking about? What picture?”
“That sexting picture on your phone. He showed it to Charlie.”
“But that’s not my fault! That nurse is insane. Does Charlie think we have a relationship? Didn’t you tell her?”
“I tried to explain, Josh, but she walked away. And then she just disappeared.” Olivia squeezed his arm. “She’s probably fine. You know, she was upset after the incident with Dr. Arrington. That’s probably all it is.”
But he had a sinking feeling things were not fine with Charlie. Why was it he couldn’t catch a break with her? It was like the universe was conspiring against them. Every time he thought they were going to end up together, something happened to tear them apart.
“She’s not back yet?” Emily returned with Grace in tow. “We can’t find her anywhere. Spencer and Brad struck out, too.”
“If anyone finds her, call me.” Josh snatched his phone from Olivia and bounded for the door.
CHARLIE HAD NEVER FELT so out of control in her life. She had to think logically. After the emotional trauma of the night, she’d jumped on Josh’s promise of love. But the picture on his phone had reminded her of just what Josh would be giving up to be with her. He would soon tire of her boyishly thin body. He would probably remain faithful, despite his discontent. But in her heart she knew he would be disappointed with her.
Still hugging Josh’s coat over her disheveled dress, she wandered aimlessly down the hallway until she finally slipped down the side elevator to the lobby floor. She found her way into the ladies’ room and glimpsed herself in the mirror. With a wet paper towel, she rubbed away the remaining mascara that smeared her face. Her lashes were still wet with tears that seemed to drip in an unending stream from her eyes. Her disheveled hair was beyond repair, so she pulled out the remaining pins allowing her curls to cascade down. She examined her dress, hoping to find a way to make the tape once again hold it in its proper place. But the cause was hopeless, with the dress shifting at the slightest movement. Abandoning the tape, she pulled Josh’s tuxedo jacket more firmly around her front, and sighed at her image. She looked just like she felt. Traumatized. Lost. Hopeless.
Charlie exited the restroom and wandered to the lobby entrance. Perhaps her best move would be to flee for the safety of her apartment. There she could think without Josh’s disturbing presence muddling her mind. She loved him so much it hurt to be near him. His happiness was the most important thing, and she knew she could never truly make him happy.
With plans to call her sister to alleviate her worry, Charlie pushed through the outer doors, hoping to catch a taxi.
“Steven Gherring’s stepdaughter!” a voice exclaimed as a flash blinded her. Disconcerted, she rushed back inside, but the social reporters followed her, shouting out questions about the incident with the police.
Charlie’s heart raced and she hurried toward the elevator. But the journalist was close behind her with a cameraman snapping pictures. When the elevator door opened, he followed her on. Panicking, she exited the elevator but found her escape blocked. Like a deer in headlights, she froze, her mind as numb and unresponsive as her lips.
Shouting ensued from behind, and she felt strong arms wrap around her. Startled, she struggled until she realized it was Josh. All thought of running from him evaporated. She turned, clinging to him as if he were her lifeline. He backed her into the elevator and stood bodily in the doorway as it closed behind them, glaring over his shoulder at the flashing cameras with a ferocity that must have convinced the reporters to abandon their quest.
The only sound she could hear was that of her blood pulsing in her ears. Just as her terror at the paparazzi assault was ending and her frazzled nerves should have been settling down, she became hyper-aware of the sensation of Josh’s body against hers. It felt so good and so right. But it was a bad idea to get comfortable in his arms.
“Are you okay?” His soothing voice broke the quiet as his arms stroked her back and he peppered her hair with tender kisses.
She stiffened and tried to push away, but his arms held her fast. “Josh, this isn’t a good idea.”
He reached out his hand and pressed the elevator stop button. “No more running away from me, Charlie. Talk to me.”
Silence hung in the air, a thick heavy vapor, as he waited for her response. “It won’t work... We won’t work, Josh.”
“Because you saw those pictures on my phone? It’s that crazy nurse from the hospital in Colorado. She’s insane, Charlie. I don’t even look at the pictures.”
“You had them saved,” she argued.
“Because Olivia wanted me to report her or file charges or something. I’ve been erasing them. I don’t want her or any other woman. I want you.”
“That’s not the real problem anyway.”
“Then what is the problem?”
“You don’t... I’m not... You don’t realize it, but I’ll never be enough for you.”
“What are you talking about? You’re all I want. Only you, Charlie.”
“But, I’m not...” She felt her face flaming, but she had to tell him. She extracted herself from his grasp and turned her back. “I’m really small, Josh. And I’m totally inexperienced. And you’re... We’re just not compatible. You’d be disappointed, and I wouldn’t be able to bear it.” Now the words were out, she cringed, waiting for him to admit the truth. He would probably claim he didn’t care, but she would hear the disappointment in his voice.
“Uhmm... Charlie, you do realize I’m a doctor, right? I mean, are we talking about your body here?” His voice held a lilt of amusement.
“I know you’re a doctor.” She swirled to face him with her hands on her hips. “And I know you’ve seen lots of bodies. But this is different, and you know it.”
“But that’s just it, I can look at big breasts any time, and it doesn’t do anything for me. But
you... I mean your body... Now that does something to me. And surely you realize what an amazing body you have.”
“But it’s not. It’s... “ She looked down and muttered, “It’s like a boy.”
His laughter filled the elevator. “Surely you don’t believe that, Charlie.”
Her eyes stung at the sheer embarrassment of the situation. She couldn’t believe they were actually discussing her lack of endowment.
“Charlie. Seriously. I promise you—you don’t look like a boy. You’re beautiful.”
“You don’t know,” she sniffed.
“Uhmm... Actually, I do.”
Charlie’s breath strangled in her throat. What was he talking about? How could he know? She saw a myriad of emotions pass across his face, as it turned red to the tips of his ears. “What... What do you mean?”
“Eh-hem... In the ER after the accident... You know, I’m a doctor and everyone was just trying desperately to save your life. I wasn’t thinking like that at all. Except...”
“You looked?”
“It wasn’t like that, not when I thought you were dying.” He swallowed hard, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “But, after we got your heart started and I knew you were going to make it, I may have kind of gone berserk. It seemed to me Dr. Garrett left you uncovered a little too long. And I...” He turned his face away from her. “According to Brad, I kind of shoved Dr. Garrett out of the way, so I could pull the sheet up and started shouting orders at people. I think that’s when I realized how possessive I felt about you.”
Charlie hadn’t thought her face could get any hotter, but her mortification was complete. Josh had seen her!
He continued on, his voice pleading. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to look. But I couldn’t help it. And I promise I’ve totally forgotten.” He gazed at her with a solemn expression until the corners of his mouth twitched, and his dimples peeked out.
She covered her face with her hands. “You haven’t forgotten.”
“Okay, maybe I haven’t quite forgotten. It’s actually possible that I’ve been fantasizing about you every night.”
“Ohmygosh!” she said into her fingers.
“But don’t you see, this proves you were wrong. I think you have an amazing body.”
She moaned in embarrassment.
“And soon we’ll be married, and we’ll both get to see everything anyway.”
“We can’t get married. You’ve been with... I just can’t compete,” she said, with her face still hidden.
Josh swore and pulled her hands away from her face, bending to catch her gaze. She tried to keep her eyes averted, but he persisted. His hand gently brushed her curls back until she lifted her eyes.
“Please, Charlie. If I could undo my past I would. But I promise you, I don’t miss anything about that life. And when I make love to you, it’ll be my first time, too.”
“No it won’t,” she protested, wishing it could be true.
“Yes. It will be my first time to make love. Because I’ve never been in love with anyone else before.”
Charlie felt a small bud of hope in her heart. Was it possible? Did he really love her?
“But Josh, we were only getting married because you needed to, and now you don’t need me. I don’t think you really love me. I think you’ve just convinced yourself you need to marry me.”
He groaned, dropping her hands. “Charlie, I’ve tried everything I know to convince you. I’ve been trying for two years to convince you I love you. I’ve countered every protestation. This last one, implying I would object to your incredible body, was the most ridiculous of all.”
“It wasn’t either,” she mumbled through pouted lips.
He paced in the small elevator like a caged animal., tearing at his hair until it stood up at strange angles. “I don’t know what else to do.” He stopped, his face bright with a light-bulb look.
“Charlie. Don’t jump, okay? I’m just going to reach inside this tuxedo pocket for a second.” He lifted the front of the jacket still draped on her shoulders and grasped something within the pocket, easing it out. He removed a small ring box and opened it, dropping to one knee.
“Charlie, please, marry me. I am miserable without you. I promise I’ll do everything I can possibly do to make you happy.”
Her heart pounded so hard her chest hurt, and the elevator felt like a vacuum. She stared at the ring in amazement. It was different from any ring she’d seen before. The bud of hope unfurled a single petal.
“You don’t like it, do you? I’ll get you a different one. I should have picked one like the pictures Emily gave me.”
“Emily gave you pictures?”
“Yes, but I was stubborn and tried to pick something out myself. I’m sorry.”
“No. Don’t be sorry. I think this one is beautiful. You picked it out just for me?” He nodded , as her eyes took in every detail—the unusual color of the gold, the unique hexagonal pattern of small diamonds surrounding the central diamond, the double strand of small diamonds on the band. It was beautiful, and he’d chosen it just for her. Was it possible? Could he really, truly love her? Could it be that he would have chosen her even if he hadn’t ever needed her to complete the adoption.
She forced her eyes away from the ring. How could she know for sure? “But I can’t accept it, of course.”
“Why not?” The anguish in his voice ripped at her.
“I just don’t think you’ve thought it through,” she said, clamping down on her emotions.
With painstaking care, Josh removed the ring from the velvet box and handed it to Charlie. “Can you read the inscription?”
She squinted at the tiny letters inside the ring. “Ruth 1:16.” A small cry escaped her lips and her hand flew to her mouth. “How did you know?”
“At your sister’s rehearsal dinner... I heard you mention that if you ever got married you wanted that verse at your wedding.”
“And you remembered?” Her astonishment could not have been greater had he proclaimed the ability to read her mind.
Still on his knee, he sandwiched her hand between his, and capturing her eyes with a tender, reverent gaze as he quoted the verse. “Entreat me not to leave you, or to turn back from following after you; for wherever you go, I will go; and wherever you lodge, I will lodge; and your people shall be my people, and your God, my God.”
“I can’t believe you remembered that... from two years ago.” The air felt cold on her hot wet cheeks.
“Perhaps now, you might admit it’s possible I’ve thought this through.”
Charlie opened her mouth to answer, but realized she had no response. He’d eliminated every objection. She stared at him, unspeaking, with wide eyes. He took the ring from her hand and slid it onto her finger.
“But do you think we should postpone it?” She flattened her hand on her chest, attempting to calm her pounding heart, shifting from one foot to the other to cover the all-too-obvious trembling of her knees. “I mean, I guess we don’t have any reason to rush into it anymore. And since I already told everyone to cancel everything...”
His face was a picture of grim determination as he rose, taking a single step toward her. She worked to peel her dry tongue from the roof of her mouth while backing away. He moved forward again, and she matched his steps in reverse until she was against the wall. All at once his presence seemed to overwhelm her. He seemed...
Too tall.
Too broad.
Too hard.
Too masculine.
And way too determined!
His green eyes gleamed with hunger, as he lifted her chin with the gentle pressure of his fingers. She thought her heart might burst from her chest when he lowered his head toward her, coming closer... and closer. Against her will, her eyes closed and her lips parted in anticipation as she awaited his kiss.
She waited.
And waited.
Though he was so close she could feel the heat radiating from his body, he still held himself away from her. Was he tort
uring her? She released a tiny frustrated whimper and was rewarded by the lightest touch of his lips on hers. Her breath came in small pants as he teased her mouth, brushing his lips against hers. She surged toward him, pressing her body against his. The feel of his slate-hard muscles against her sent a thrill up her spine. His hand slipped behind her head to tangle in her hair, and his kiss deepened, strong and demanding. His tongue slipped between her lips and tangled with hers... stroking... dancing.
She surrendered to him, and he ravaged her mouth. Meanwhile, his other hand traced a teasing line along her jaw and down to the pulsing hollow on her neck. When his mouth moved to trace the downward track of his fingers on her skin, she stretched her neck, allowing him access. His lips left a scalding path in their wake. She melted, collapsing into a boneless puddle, supported only by his strong arms.
“Charlie?” he whispered.
“Yes?” came her breathy reply, her eyes still closed as she reveled in the reverberations of the kiss.
“I’d really like to stick to our original wedding date in two weeks.” He returned his mouth to the tender hollow of her neck, breathing the words against her skin. “Will that be okay?”
“Mmmm.”
His lips claimed hers once again, swallowing her moaning response. A craving urge rippled from her head to her core, and she shivered despite the heat that pulsed inside.
His voice held a lilt of humor. “I’m sorry... What did you say? I didn’t quite hear you.”
“Yes,” she gasped. “Anything you want.”
“I’m so glad to hear you say that.” His eyes twinkled and his mouth quirked. Supporting her with one arm, he reached with the other to push the elevator button. The floor beneath her feet rumbled to life. She straightened, and they rode in silence as she took deep breaths to slow her heart and regain her composure. She made a half-hearted attempt to pull away, but his arm was an anaconda. The pounding beat of her blood was so loud in her ears she couldn’t hear her own thoughts. What had just happened? Had she really agreed to marry him in two weeks? She glanced to her side where Josh stood in cool control, wearing an extremely self-satisfied grin.