“He calls every day.” I take in a massive gasp of air as I reply.
“I want him to call me not the hospital.”
“He will, in his own time. The guy seems as if he just needs some space, if you give him that then I am sure he will return to you.” I wish that were true, I wish that if I gave him then time he would see that he is wrong for staying away. I know that’s not the case, and I worry that every moment he is gone the less likely it is that he will ever come back. The biggest fear I have and what hurts me more than the pain in my stomach, is the thought of life without Adrian Black.
Three
I rest peacefully in the comfortable hospital bed with my earphones lodged in my ears. I reflect on yesterday’s events and I have concluded that things can never be the same again. My mother came to visit me last night and she was in one of her moods. The kind she only has when my dad does something to annoy her. The strain she had in her eyes was alarming; her voice was broken as if she’d been shouting for hours on end. Her usual calm and collective presence was far from there last night. When we talked, everything I said seemed to upset her and she would cut me off before I asked her what was wrong. I cannot say that I am not worried about how she was acting. It alerts me when I have the rare chance to witness my mom like this. However, she did agree to bring in Penelope later on today so I guess that is a good sign. James has also made an appearance today. He came swanning into the room, dressed in a white shirt and black suit trousers. He looked nice and he was asking my opinion on whether he should call Emma, he seems as if he really loves her, and the only advice I had for him, is to try to work things out with her. I have checked my phone at least twenty times in the last thirty minutes, but there is no contact from Adrian. My heart aches again at the thought of checking the phone; I always build myself up to believe that there will be a text or an email from him, every time I check. When I do and I see that there is none, my heart breaks repeatedly. I do not want to conclude that he is gone, there is no way I can accept that feeling. Until Adrian contacts me and tells me that, he no longer loves me, then I will refuse to give up hope that he will be back and that he does love me. I have not heard a thing from Katharine or Michael; I take that as a bad sign. I get Katharine’s problem, but as for Michael, I do not understand why he has not come to see me. After all, he did save my life, I rack my brain for a reason but I cannot find one. I don’t think that Michael was mad at me the last time that we spoke. He was going back to London, but I knew that was bound to happen once Adrian came to New York. I fear that I have done something to upset him. I want to call him, but I do not want to anger Katharine. I did tell her that I would not stay away from Michael. However, if he is not showing interest in me does that mean he does not care anymore? So many things are swirling around in my head and I feel that it is about to explode. I close my eyes as I listen to the words of Adele,
I heard that you are settled down that you found a girl and you’re married now. I heard that your dreams came true, guess she gave you things I did not give to you. Old friend why you so shy ain’t like you to hold back or hide from the light, I hate to turn up out the blue uninvited but I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it I hoped you’d see my face and that you’d be reminded that for me it isn’t over,
Never mind, I’ll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you too. Don’t forget me I begged I remember you said sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead. Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes its hurts instead.
The tears are running down my face as I bask in her words. They are speaking to me on another level and I can identify with her words. My eyes are stinging and the pain in my abdomen is sharp. I pull out one earphone as the music continues to play. I lift my phone from the table that is in front of me. I scroll through my images until I find the one of Adrian; I gaze at his picture as Adele belts out,
You know how the time flies; only yesterday was the time of our lives. We were born and raised in a summer haze bound by the surprise of our glory days. I hate to turn up out the blue uninvited but I couldn’t stay away, I couldn’t fight it I hoped you’d see my face and that you’d be reminded that for me it isn’t over,
Never mind, I’ll find someone like you. I wish nothing but the best for you too. Don’t forget me I begged I remember you said sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes it hurts instead. Sometimes it lasts in love but sometimes its hurts instead.
With salty tears pouring from my eyes, I call Adrian, after about ten rings there is no answer. I hang up the phone and I ring him again. I do that repeatedly until I finally conclude that he is not going to answer. I look through my contacts as I wipe away some of my tears. I come across Michael’s name, and I wonder if he would answer me? I deliberate with myself for what seems like hours; until with one fluid motion, I hit send and wait as the phone rings. My heart is racing, I want to hear his voice, I want to thank him for saving me and I want him to know that I still care about him.
“Hello,” he says in his masculine British accent. His voice has me frozen and I cannot respond.
“Hello!” He almost shouts and I jump little. I open my mouth to speak but again no words come out. What is wrong with me? Why can I not just talk to him? What is stopping me? I take a very deep breath and then I force out words.
“Hello Michael.” I finally manage to say.
“Is there something that I can help you with Alanna?” He says rather sharply.
“I just wanted to talk to you, how are you?” I say feeling guilty again for him getting hurt.
“I am fine, what do you want to talk about?” He says again in a sharp tone. This reminds me of when we first met and things were very awkward between us, I was so sure that he hated me.
“I want to thank you for what you did, I owe everything to you.”
“You don’t owe me anything.”
“I do, I owe my life to you, are you still in hospital?”
“No, I was discharged about a week and half ago.” His words annoy me, he has been out for over a week and he has not come to see me, there must be something that he is mad at me about.
“I see, why haven’t you come to see me?” I say a little sooner than I expected to, but I could not hold back that question any longer.
“If I wanted to see you then I would have.” I am shocked, what is his reason for not wanting to see me?
“I don’t understand did I do something to upset you?”
“Actually you did.” I am again shocked what could I have possibly of done.
“Can you explain what I did?” He exhales, “You upset Katharine yesterday.”
“Is that really what I did to, upset you?”
“Yes.”
“Did she tell you what she asked me to do?” The phone is quiet until Michael says, “No, what did she say?” I do not really feel like tattle-tailing on my friend, but Michael means too much to me and I cannot let this go.
“She asked me to stay away from you, she doesn’t want me to see or speak to you.” The phone is again silent and I am worried what he will say next.
“She has no right to ask that of you, I will be talking to her about this.” I fear that I have caused something major between Michael and Katharine. However, I feel that she has crossed a line by insisting that I stop all contact Michael and I am glad just to hear his voice, and I could agree anything with him.
“I don’t want to cause anything between you two, but Michael you know how I feel about you. I miss you and your sarcastic ways.” He does not respond for ages.
“Alanna, I am with Katharine now, you have to respect that, okay?”
“I do, but I still need you in my life.” He sighs.
“I don’t need you in mine.” He says very bitterly and I feel repulsed by his words.
“You don’t mean that.”
“Yes I do.”
“It wasn’t so long ago that you loved me, why are you being like this?” I say very loudly.
“B
ecause you chose him,” He shouts back at me.
“Please Michael don’t get into all that.”
“It’s true, you chose him. You want him and I am just a backup to you, now that he is gone, you want me. Well I have news for you Alanna; I won’t be your backup bloke.”
“I don’t want you as a backup; I want you as my friend.”
“Alanna, I have told you one million times that I cannot be just your friend, why won’t you accept that?”
“I know it is selfish of me, but I need you Michael.”
“I take it you still have not heard from Adrian?”
“No, do you know where he is?”
“Alanna, I don’t want to get into this with you, I have to go, do not call me again.”
“Michael, wait,” I say but I am too late, he hangs up on me, and I am left with nothing but silence.
“Alanna, how are you today?” Nurse Melissa says, as she enters. I quickly smile at her as I continue to wander around the room. The pain from my wound is not that bad anymore. Although I wish, I could say the same, about the ache in my heart.
“I feel great today,” I say ecstatically. Melissa smiles at me,
“Alanna, I feel that you are pushing yourself very hard, to try and prove that you are able to leave. However, I need you to know that, we will not discharge you a minute too soon.” I roll my eyes slightly and I force out a smile.
“I understand, but really I do feel fine.” Melissa briefly presses a smile form her lips as she walks over to my bedside, lifts out my file and begins to write down something. I worry of what she could be saying on my file. I dread to think that, perhaps whatever she says on there may hinder my chances of getting out of this hospital anytime soon. I walk back over the bed and climb in. I slide over the table and again I check my phone. I glance to a message, but my heart skinks when it is just a message from Sophie.
Alanna, I will be over later, see you soon, Sophie.
I quickly reply to her,
Okay, see you later.
I again check my emails, but as before, there is none from Adrian. I place my phone down onto the table a little too roughly. Melissa jumps up from the page she is writing on and I can see that she is shocked by my actions.
“Wow, what did that phone ever do to you?” She says in a sarcastic tone. I force myself to be nice and not to say what really is on my mind.
“I am sorry, I am a little distracted.” Melissa exhales,
“He called today, again,” I am stunned that she has brought up Adrian. However, I want to know more.
“Really, did you talk to him?” She slides my file back into its casing and moves closer to me.
“Yes, I spoke to him today.” I gasp,
“What did he say?”
“Not much, just the usual.”
“And that is?”
“He loves you, but something is stopping him from being here.” I sigh,
“I know, but he will not answer my calls, what am I supposed to do?” I say desperately.
“I really have no idea,” She says as she flashes me a sympathetic look. I shake my head at my thoughts of Adrian. I hate him for the way he is acting. I wish that he would be different about this. I wish that he would just give in to his feelings and not let the past always be a factor in his life. If only he could move on from what happened. Then I know that, he and I could have a happy, normal, loving relationship, I long to make him understand that I am all right. The danger that I was in, is no longer an issue. Adrian was punished and I have paid the price. I feel that I am missing the best thing that has ever happened to me. I need Adrian in my life and I know that he needs me too.
“Did he give you any clue as to where he is?” I say to Melissa, I know it is a long shot even to think that she knows where Adrian is. However, I have to ask.
“No, I have no idea where he is, but Alanna, you know him and you should have an idea of where he could be.” I sit upright in the bed and Melissa is right. If anyone would know where he is, then it would be me. My mind begins to spin and I think back to every conversation I have ever had with Adrian. I scowl my forehead as I think. My eyes blink rapidly and then, I remember. France, he loves it over there and if he is not in London, then I am sure that the only other place he could be is in, St Tropez. I sit even further up in the bed, and now I am staring deeply at Melissa.
“I know where he is,” I say firmly as Melissa gazes at me, and the look she has upon her face, is wonder.
“Adrian loves France. He practically lives over there.” I say. Before I give Melissa a chance to reply, I begin again. “He owns a mansion and a yacht, he stays half the week over there, there is nowhere else he can be.” Melissa smiles weakly at me, her eyes are wide and her cheeks are starting to flush.
“Alanna, I never told you exactly what Adrian said to me today.” I am astounded, why would she hold back information about Adrian?
“Melissa, I suggest that you tell me what he said.” She leans back and takes the seat that sits at my bedside. She folds her arms, and her feet begin to tap rapidly against the cool white floor.
“Okay, but I don’t want you to get mad with me.” My heart begins to race, and I cannot breath. However, I pull myself together and I give her look of, agreement.
“I won’t get mad, please, if you know something, then I really need to know.” She exhales and begins to say,
“When, Mr Black calls, he usually just talks to whoever comes to the phone. However, today when he called he asked for me personally. I have no idea how he knew my name, but he did.” I gasp slightly and I want her to tell me more.
“He called me Melissa, and that really surprised me.”
“If he asked for you, then why where you surprised that he knew your name?”
“It wasn’t the fact that he knew my name that I was entirely surprised about. He knew about me.” I am finding it hard to keep up with what she is saying. I also hope that there is a point to all this and that it is just taking her a while to get to it.
“What did he know?”
“Everything, he knew how old I was, he knew what colour hair I have, and he also knew my boyfriend’s name.” I am confused, why would Adrian care about the nurse in this way?
“I don’t understand, what are you saying?” Her face looks confused and I see her shift a million things around in her mind. She breaks her silence,
“I am really confused by him. I do not know how he knows so much about me and I cannot understand why he would care. Alanna, do you have any idea, as to why?” I shift nervously; I do not really know why Adrian would care so much about Melissa. However, I know him and there will me some reason for his actions.
“Melissa, Adrian is very complicated. He has different ways to us.” I say smiling at her.
“Even so, there is something strange about his behaviour. Normal people do not act in the way he has.”
“I know that, but he has had a very difficult time as child.”
“I kind of thought that.” She agrees.
“Did you question him on his actions?”
“Yes, I asked him how he knew so much about me.”
“And what did he say?”
“He just said he has connections, and that type of thing is not hard to find out.” Her words sting my mind. That is exactly what he said to me, when he first revealed himself as the mystery man, in my life.
“You have to tell me everything he has said to you.”
“Okay, he was very interested in you. He wanted me to update him on your recovery and he was glad to hear that you were almost back to normal. He also demanded to know, how many visitors you have had. He wondered if his stepbrother had been to see you and when I told him that he had not, he did seem surprised by that.” Melissa concludes. I search for words to respond with but I have none. I look to her.
“It is clear to see that the guy still loves you. However, I feel that he is not only in love with you, but he is obsessed with you. That type of behaviour is alarming
to me.”
“He is not obsessed, he just is a little bit overprotective and he tends to overstate things. I know that he is intense, but that makes him even more special to me, and I love him.” I say proudly.
“There is no doubting that, but can you trust a guy like him? He ran out on you when you really needed him. That type of action is unacceptable and if it were me, I would not want anything to do with him.” Melissa says harshly. I look at her in surprise, who does she think she is? She cannot judge Adrian; she does not even know him. I bet that she has not even seen him. I gaze icily at her.
“I can trust him. He is not here because he is scared. It has nothing to with the fact that he doesn’t care.”
“I never said that he doesn’t care about you. I am just saying that, he has made a wrong choice by not being here with you.” Melissa rises up from the chair; she walks over to the door. I feel annoyed with her and I was not aware that our conversation was over.
“Melissa, wait, I am sorry if I was harsh with you. But you have to understand how I feel about this guy.” She looks over at me sympathetically.
“I understand, but you cannot deny that he has hurt you by not being here.” I cave at her words; I know that they are true. My heart is racing at the very thought of him.
“He has hurt me but I cannot stop loving him.” I say in a very weak voice. Nurse Melissa, briefly smiles at me. She opens the solid oak door and walks briskly away. I throw myself back into the bed. I lean my head firmly against the pillow as I try my hardest to fight back tears. Adrian flashes in my mind, his dark navy pinstriped suit, his full lips, his silky hair and those glowing green eyes. Why was he punishing me by staying away? I do not believe that he really thinks that I am better off without him. How could I be? I am a total mess at the very thought of life without him. Another thing that is plaguing my mind is that, why would he care so much about Melissa? Why has Adrian gone to the trouble of having, her checked out? What was his reason for doubting her? Does he think that she may have another agenda? So many possibilities are rushing around in my head. With one fluid motion, I rise up and grab my phone. I firmly grasp it in my hand, and I dial Adrian’s number once again. I listen as it rings and with no answer, I hang up and immediately try again. I ring his phone around thirty times, and still with no answer. I am hoping that if I am persistent enough then he will cave in and answer my calls. Five calls later and still no answer, I slam my phone very hardly down onto the table. It makes a rather loud bang, and the frustration is beginning to show. My teeth are clenched and my palms are sweating, my breathing is heavy and I need a sip of water. I reach over and grab my small plastic glass. I fill it with water and then I hear my phone ring. I immediately let go of the glass and it falls to floor, spilling the water as it does. I shift back over to the table in a painful motion. I lift the phone that is now ringing even louder and the incessant buzzing is tingling my hand. I look to the name that appears on the screen, and it is who I have been longing to talk to you, it is Adrian. I quickly accept the call,
Three Thousand Miles - Jealousy (book #2 of Three Thousand Miles Series) Page 6