“Thanks for supporting me I really appreciate it.”
I lounge on the sofa with my friends for what seems like hours. We talk about everything and not a single detail is left out. Except, I have chosen not to tell the girls about William. I feel that is not really my place and until Adrian finds out that he is actually his son then I am not going to say a word. Many topics have come up during our conversation and eventually Katharine spills and tells me why she is so happy.
“Jeff is amazing,” she gushes and I cannot hold back my smile. I am not at all surprised that she and Jeff have hit things off. She is gorgeous and Jeff is funny, smart, cool and talks with a British accent. As soon as I saw him walking over to our table that night at the party I knew that he was a potential guy for Katharine. Everything about him screamed out what she is looking for in a guy. He is rich and he is handsome but if you set all that aside, you can tell that he is genuinely a nice guy. I am not shocked at how quickly Katharine seems to have gotten over Michael because I feel that she was more in love with the idea of him. Her feelings were strong towards him but I just knew that Katharine would not stick around when Michael was treating her badly. I am glad that she has now found Jeff and I wish her all the happiness in the world. Sophie on the other hand is desperate to find a guy and I feel that she might be a little jealous that Katharine is with Jeff. Sophie is my best friend but sometimes I don’t understand her. She says that she is happy that her friends are doing so well in the love department. But at the same time, I feel that she resents that we are happy. I really wish that Sophie would find a guy and settle down with him and be happy because until she does, none of us will get her blessing. I am also wondering about Emma and Michael. From what I remember of last night’s party, they were dancing and they looked close. Emma was gazing into Michael’s eyes as she slow danced with him and he looked infatuated with her. I am trying hard not to feel annoyed by their friendship but every time I think of them together, my heart breaks a little. I do not exactly feel jealous but I do feel that I would rather not think of them as a couple. At least until Michael confirms it to me and then I cannot deny it.
“Alanna, can I ask you something,” Sophie says in calm voice. I smile at her but inside I am shaking. What could she want to as to ask me and what would be my answer?
“Okay,” I say to her. She loosens her hand from mine and she leans back onto the sofa. Katharine is staring wide-eyed as she waits to hear what Sophie is going to say.
“Why hasn’t Adrian purposed to you?” Sophie says in firm voice. I am a little stunned by her harshness but I try to shake off my annoyance of her as I respond.
“I don’t know,” I lie. I know exactly why Adrian has not asked me to marry him and that is because I have reassured him that I am not ready. However, I do not really feel like telling Sophie this information, as I fear what she might say.
“I don’t believe you Alanna. Adrian was on his way to ask you to be his wife and then you were shot. I don’t understand why he has not asked you. Has he changed his mind?” I resist the urge to roll my eyes as I take in Sophie’s words. I look at her and I feel that I have to explain.
“No, he hasn’t changed his mind but I have told him that I am not ready for marriage.” Sophie laughs at me.
“Come on Alanna, he is the perfect guy why wouldn’t you want to marry him?”
“I didn’t say that I didn’t want to marry him. I simply said that now is not the right time. I love Adrian and I would love to be his wife, just not right now.” Sophie wrinkles her forehead at my words and I know what she is going to say next.
“It is because of Michael isn’t it?” I shake my head at her.
“No, Michael has nothing to do with my reasons for not wanting to get married.”
“Then what is your real reason, Alanna? Because I am not buying that it’s too soon.” I frown at her and then I turn to look at Katharine who is unusually quiet and I notice that she is texting one her phone so I kind of understand her silence. I look at Sophie and I feel that she can see right through me.
“I guess I don’t want to get married because I don’t want to get divorced.” Sophie looks at me in confusion and I feel that I need to explain myself better.
“I don’t understand what Adrian sees in me and my biggest fear is that one day he will realise that too. I don’t want to leap into marriage because I am scared that he will get bored of me. I know that Adrian says that he loves me and he is practically forcing marriage on me. But I am determined to keep things as they are for as long as I can.” Sophie rolls her eyes heavily at me.
“Alanna please tell me you are joking? That guy adores you and you are crazy to think that you are not good enough for him. Sure he is drop dead gorgeous but come on you are an amazing girl and sometimes I feel that he doesn’t deserve you.” I lightly laugh at Sophie’s words and I smile at her as I take her hand.
“Well thanks for the vote of confidence but I can’t just shake off my feelings and fears.” Sophie rolls her eyes at me as she pulls me in for a hug. Katharine is still on her phone and her smile is beaming at whatever is on the screen. Sophie and I gaze at her and we cannot hold back our giggles.
Later that night Adrian returns home and as soon as he walks in through the door, I can tell that he is agitated. He glides over to the sofa were I am sitting and he places himself next to me. I look at him and he pulls me closer. He loosens his black neck tie and throws it onto the sofa. I smile at him and I lean in and kiss him. His lips are tender but I feel that he is holding back. Something in his manner alerts me that he is angry and I pull back from him, as I want to know what is wrong.
“Adrian, is everything okay?” He runs his fingers nervously through his hair and he exhales deeply. His eyes look full of stress and I am beginning to worry.
“Baby did you watch the news today?” I look at him in confusion and I immediately question his words.
“No why?” Adrian quickly takes off his suit jacket and he again nervously runs his hands through his hair. I do not know what is wrong with him but I need to find out.
“Adrian you are scaring me please tell me what is wrong?” He turns to face me.
“Baby if you would have watched the news then you would have seen that a bloke got killed today. He was stabbed on his way to a business meeting.”
“That’s awful, I didn’t know.” Adrian shakes his head at me.
“Alanna, the business meeting was with me.”
“I don’t understand what you are saying. You look very worried about this but I don’t know why. Was it a random attack or was it something more?” Adrian catches my hand.
“Baby, I think that it was the Marshalls. I fear that they know that you are alive and that they killed that bloke to send me a message. It is not over Alanna you are still in danger.” I grasp his hand firmly as I move closer to him.
“Adrian, we don’t know for sure that it’s them. However, if it is then we will get through it. We have security and they won’t find us.”
“I hope you’re right but you know what this means, don’t you?” My heart skips a beat as his words.
“No I am not leaving you don’t even think it.” Adrian laughs at me and my heart slowly begins to reach its normal rate. Adrian pulls me closer to him and he huddles me into his chest as he leans back on the sofa.
“Baby that’s not what I meant,” Adrian whispers. I gaze up at him.
“Then what did you mean?”
“We will have to be extra careful from now on. For the next three days that you are in London, you need to come everywhere with me. That includes my trip to Edinburgh. You can do that can’t you baby?”
“Yeah but I don’t have to go to work with you. I can stay here at the hotel with Sophie. I will be fine here, right?” Adrian takes a moment to consider my suggestion.
“I don’t know if I trust her.” He says firmly. I look up at him.
“She won’t hurt me.”
“I know that but I don’t trus
t her for taking you out of the hotel. I would need her to promise me that she wouldn’t ask you to leave with her.”
“Don’t you trust me?” Adrian smirks at me.
“Yes baby, I trust you, but I also I need to trust those people who are around you.” I sigh at him.
“You can trust Sophie and I won’t leave the hotel unless I am with you.” Adrian smiles at my agreement and he pulls me in for a kiss.
“So when do we go to Edinburgh?” Adrian plays with my hair as he answers.
“The day after tomorrow,”
“How long are we there for?”
“Just for one night, don’t worry I will have you back in New York in time for you birthday.” I smile as I kiss him again.
Twenty-Seven
My night with Adrian at our hotel suite consists of a romantic dinner for two. Adrian ordered us room service, which comprised of steak and all the sides that go with it. I sipped champagne and as usual, Adrian drank Evian water. We talked about many things but what surprised me was that he did not mention William. I sat gazing at him all night wondering when he would bring him up but he never did. As Adrian asked me about my family, I answer his questions but I my mind was not fully in the conversation. I was preoccupied thinking of how Adrian must be feeling about all this. I look into his green eyes and I fear that he is trying to block out everything about William. I feel that is the wrong thing to do and I wish that he would talk to me about it. I want him to open up and I want him to tell me how he feels. Until he does, I don’t know how I feel about it. When Adrian explains his emotions to me hopefully, it will unlock my true feelings about William.
I play with my food nervously as I try to pick up the courage to ask Adrian how he feels. However, I chicken out as Adrian gets up from his seat. With a swift glide of his feet, he is standing behind me. He places his hand onto my shoulder as he gently slides my chair away from the table. I turn to look at him and he is glaring back at me with those green eyes.
“Baby, would you like to watch a movie?” I smile at him as I take his hand. He walks me over to the sofa and he places me down. He heads over to the TV cabinet and he begins to rummage through the DVD’s. I gently let out a laugh as Adrian considers his options.
“Baby, what movie would you like?”
“Anything, I don’t mind,” I say lightly as he raises a thick, dark eyebrow. He quickly chooses a movie and then he dims the lights. I lean back into the sofa as Adrian strides back over to me. He lies in the corner of the sofa with his legs fully stretched out. He leans over and pulls me alongside him. Adrian wraps his arm around me and I gently place my hand onto his chest. I cannot hold back my smile as I focus my eyes on the TV.
“Adrian, I love this movie,” Adrian laughs.
“Doesn’t every girl love ‘An Affair to Remember’?” Adrian says smugly. I laugh at him and then I sigh as I begin to watch the movie.
The movie is halfway through and as I watch the romance unfold before my eyes, I smile at Adrian. I would have never expected him to like this movie but he cannot tear his eyes from the screen. He is lost in the world of Cary Grant and I gently laugh as his eyebrows rise in excitement. He notices my amusement and he questions me.
“Alanna, why are you laughing,” he says in cool voice. I slide myself further into his body as he strokes my hair.
“Nothing, I just never expected you to like this movie.” He laughs at me.
“I can watch any type of movie and especially love stories.” I burst out laughing and so does Adrian. I bask in the sound of his laugh and I love it when I get to hear it. The sound is captivating to me and it makes me feel as if I matter to him. When he is controlling and serious, I feel that he is unhappy but when he smiles and laughs, I feel that he is overjoyed with glee. It makes me feel special when I make him laugh. I cannot imagine that he had much to laugh about when he was a child so I love it when he lets his laughter out. I cannot contain my smile as I gaze at him. His crisp white shirt is slightly unbuttoned to reveal his tanned skin. His hair is messy as it gently touches his forehead, his long slim legs seem to go on forever, and his black suit trousers fit him like a glove. I look at his face and I am reminded of William. The thought of that little boy will not escape my mind and I cannot hold back my feelings any longer. I need to talk to Adrian about him and I need to know what is going on in his head. I take the remote from the table beside the sofa and I slowly turn down the volume. Adrian instantly looks at me and he has a wicked smirk on his face.
“You know if you want to kiss me all you have to do is ask!” I hold back my smile at his sarcastic words as I begin to tell him how I really feel.
“That’s not why I turned down the TV; I have something I need to talk to you about.” Adrian sits up and I fall from his grasp. I quickly readjust to his new position and I wait for his reply.
“Is there something wrong?” He asks firmly. I shake my head at him.
“Nothing is wrong but I need you to tell me how you feel about William.” Adrian’s eyes widen at my words and I can see that he is nervous. I maintain eye contact with him so that he can see the pain in my eyes. Adrian gently holds the bridge of his nose in annoyance but I still maintain my gaze. He looks at me and I can tell that he is hurting.
“Alanna what do you want me to say?”
“I want you to tell me how you are feeling. This cannot be easy for you and I don’t want you to go through this alone.”
“Alanna, until I know for sure that little boy is mine I don’t know how I feel.”
“Okay but what if he is your son what will you do about it?”
“Alanna I cannot answer your questions,” Adrian looks as if he is getting angry but I insist on quizzing him more.
“You need to, now please answer me.” Adrian rolls his eyes.
“What do you want me to say?” He says in a loud voice. I jump a little from the sound and Adrian quickly reaches for my hand.
“Baby I am sorry, but as I said I don’t know how I feel about him. He thinks that Chad is his father. How can I break his little heart like that?”
“Adrian, if Chad is not his father then he deserves to know.”
“Yes he does but until I know for sure I cannot think about him as my son. Every bone in my body is aching with fear that he might be mine. I am not a good person and that little boy deserves better than me for a father. I am a monster who, until I met you, despised love. I wanted it so badly that I hated it. I don’t know what type of father I would be but I wouldn’t want to be like mine. I could never abandon a child and if William is mine then I will try my hardest to love him.” I reach out and clasp Adrian’s face.
“Adrian you will be an amazing father and if William is your son then he will love you. I know that you will love him too with all of your heart. You just have to believe in yourself and don’t let your fathers choices influence you. Be the guy you are with me. Show William the real you and he will not be able to resist loving you. ” Adrian pulls me close to him and he instantly kisses me. I close my eyes and I know how I feel. If William is Adrian’s son then I will love him. I will treat him like my own and I will never let Zara ruin my relationship with Adrian. He means the world to me and I will never lose him to anyone.
We watch the rest of the movie in silence and as the credits roll; Adrian leans down and kisses me for the millionth time. I gaze at the clock on the wall and I see that it is quite late. I try to get up from the sofa but Adrian pulls me back.
“Baby where are you going,” he says as he playfully squeezes my ribcage. I laugh hysterically at his touch and then I begin to blush as he pulls me on top of him. I stare at his beauty and somehow I manage to tear myself away from him. Adrian again pulls me back; I straighten my face as I look at him.
“Adrian I need to take a shower,” he smiles as if he has something that he would like to say but he does not. He holds in whatever thoughts he has as he loosens his grip on me. I gently kiss him on the cheek and then I make my way into the bathroom.
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The next morning I wake in Adrian’s room again. I gently get off the bed as I make my way into the lounge. Adrian is standing by the window talking on his phone. As soon as he sees me walk in, he ends his call.
“Hey beautiful,” he says as he strides over to me. I cannot contain smile as he pulls me in for a hug. I catch the scent from his cologne as he holds me tightly and I inhale his scent. Adrian pulls back from me and I frown at him as I could have stayed in his arms forever.
“Now Alanna I must dash, do you remember the rules for today?” Adrian says in a firm but gentle tone. My smile fades as I nod in agreement.
“You must not leave this room and don’t answer the door to anyone.”
“But…” I begin to say however, Adrian butts in on my question.
“Alanna you are not going to make this difficult are you?” Adrian’s eyes are hot with anticipation as he waits for my answer. I fidget a little as I think of my response.
“I was just going to say, but what about Sophie? If she comes to the door do you want me to ignore her?” Adrian shakes his head at me and I lightly scowl at him. I wish that he would just tell me what he wants me to do instead of all this guessing.
“If Sophie comes to see you then Steven or Mitch will let her in. You will not be answering the door or the room telephone. When I ring you, it will be to your Blackberry and make sure that you answer me within five rings. If I text you then you must instantly reply.” I slightly roll my eyes at Adrian’s rules and I can tell that he is annoyed with my actions.
“Baby how many times must I tell you not to roll your eyes at me,” he snaps. I look up at him and I can see that he is furious. His eyes are bright green and glowing, but behind the beauty, there is deep anger. I know that his temper is short and very hot-blooded and I feel that it would not take much to set it off. I will always have a constant reminder of that night Adrian lost his temper with me. He terrified me and I am still terrified to this day. I am scared that Adrian will lose it completely and in the backlash, he will lose himself. Adrian has deep issues that may never fade. I feel that he does not believe in himself and I know that he thinks that he is a bad person. That could not be further from the truth but there is no telling him. If Adrian were to get mad and if he were to hurt me, then I know that he would not get over that and he could not survive it. As much as I hate that Adrian controls everything, I know that I have to accept it. I would not disobey him because I know that it would only make him angry and I hate the person that anger turns him into. Some people might think that I am stupid and naïve but I am not. I truly believe that one day he will change his ways. I know that Adrian and I will be together and that we will be happy. If I let him take the control then perhaps I have a chance to fix him. My biggest dream is that one day Adrian will be free from his guilt. Until that day, I will do as he says. I focus my brown eyes on his, and he stares at me with a bold expression.
Three Thousand Miles - Jealousy (book #2 of Three Thousand Miles Series) Page 33