by Lynn Vroman
Tarek fidgeted, his leg bouncing like mad. This wasn't where he wanted to be, sitting in Mateusz's office. He wanted to be with Lena, show her everything he'd accomplished in the last month while Avery healed her. Unfortunately, the overseer said one more day.
He could handle one more day–as long as he had forever afterward.
Mateusz sat at his desk, waiting with him. They hadn't spoken much in the last thirty days–only long enough for Tarek to punch him in the eye for agreeing to send Lena and him to Andor. No matter what the man said, he was the damn ERP overseer. He could've done something. Anything. He didn't. Thankfully, Avery had more courage.
"So..." Mateusz fussed with his glasses, pulling them off, cleaning them, and slipping them back on. "If you would allow me to explain."
Tarek turned his attention to the screens on the wall, always tuned on ERP's training centers. "I don't want to hear anything. Not a damn thing outside of 'I'm sorry.'"
"Well, then I'm sorry. I am. If I had a choice, I’d have done things differently."
"You're a Synod overseer!" Tarek leaped from his chair, no longer able to fake indifference, and pounded his fist on the desk, causing Kendal's hologram to flicker. "So many people are dependent on the choices you make. Doing nothing makes you as guilty as giving the assignment."
"When will you understand? When will it sink into your stubborn mind? I don't have a choice!" Mateusz stood too, his anger as bright as Tarek's. "I'm responsible for training the drones who do the bidding of Cassondra, the elders, the authority commander... I could give you a list longer than this desk."
"Don't you care about the drones you train?" Tarek stepped forward, his fist curling with the desire to punch Mateusz again. "I almost lost everything. If Avery wouldn't have helped, if she had cowered behind a desk like you–"
"You don't think I know how you feel? I do! I've lost someone I love, just like you." He pointed to Tarek's face, his voice cracking. "And I pray you do not have the same outcome with Lena as I've had with Kendal. So don't stand there and assume what I can and cannot do. I've suffered because of those bastards, too. Kendal still suffers."
Shit.
His anger deflated. Tarek scrubbed at his hair, glanced around, and then sat, gesturing for Mateusz to do the same. The overseer complied, looking as lost as Tarek had been for a month.
Tarek gestured to Kendal's picture. "How is she?"
"The same." Mateusz pushed his glasses up with a shaking hand.
"What did she know, Mateusz?" A question he'd asked the man a thousand times, his friend always declining to answer. He had tried to ask Kendal, as well, but she refused to speak to him, refused to speak to anyone but Mateusz and Winston, it seemed. "What did she carry with her after death?"
Mateusz licked his lips, keeping his attention on Kendal's hologram. "Too much."
Tarek watched the hologram with him. "Lena knows too much also," he whispered like a confession.
"I know." Mateusz sighed. "And I would suggest you both keep it to yourselves. The elders catch wind..." He focused on Tarek, his gaze hard and serious. "You understand me, don't you? I will not be able to save you. No one will."
"You know about Wardens?" He didn't intend to spread the truth, Mateusz's warning unnecessary. Nicolette was right; to give away that information would only cause more damage.
"All those in higher Synod positions know."
Tarek squeezed the bridge of his nose. Exemplar's entire foundation sat on a mound of lies. "How many other Wardens are Exemplians?"
Mateusz returned his attention to Kendal's hologram. "I don't really know. We are privy to knowledge, but only so much."
"You could have told me sooner."
"Perhaps I would have if you had asked me once you came back from Andor–before you left, even." Mateusz slid a finger beneath his eye. "Instead of hitting me without listening to a word and then avoiding me."
"I suppose it's my turn to apologize." Tarek's leg bounced again. "And I've been busy."
"I've noticed." Mateusz folded his hands on the desk, moving on to business. "So, you're satisfied coming back to the ERP as a mentor again?"
"Yes, more than satisfied."
"Good." Mateusz punched a few keys on his comp system and squinted at the monitor. "Looks as though students are benefiting. They all seem to have nothing but glowing respect for you." Mateusz rubbed the back of his neck. "Your exploits in Andor have made you something of a hero."
"Yes, well, young minds are easily manipulated, aren't they?"
"That they are."
None of those students knew how he had managed to save a Guide from a Warden, and of course he didn't tell them. Stories circulated, but none came remotely close to actual events. Why not add to the fables those innocent minds believed as truth?
A tinny voice coming from the intercom filled the room. "Your next appointment has arrived."
"Send her in." A slight grin curved Mateusz's lips. "Are you certain of this, my friend?"
Tarek laced his fingers across his stomach, confident and never more positive of anything in both his lives. "Absolutely."
"All right, then." The door swung open. "Prepare yourself."
Tarek smiled and shifted his attention to the entrance.
"Well if it isn't the dumbass himself." Wilma swooped in as bedraggled as ever and flopped into the seat beside him. "What the hell are you doing here? Don't you think you've harassed me enough?"
Tarek wanted to hug her. Kneel at her feet and worship her. "I had to come, had to thank you in person."
She snorted, waving legs too short to reach the ground. "You did enough of that, begging me and shit." She jabbed a finger at his forehead. "Where'd you lose your self-respect, boy?"
Yes, he did plead with her after Avery gave him Wilma's contact information. He told the stronger Protector everything, the secrets Mateusz had just warned him not to tell, Lena's life story, who she was, the way she lived–and loved.
Somehow, he had convinced her to take the responsibility. Maybe it was because both women came from the same place, both original Heterodox citizens. Maybe it had something to do with Lena's insatiable need to right all wrongs, protect innocent life. Whatever convinced Wilma, he was thankful for it.
"I..." He gave in and hugged her. "Thank you."
Miraculously, she allowed him to hold her, for about ten seconds. "Get the hell off me! I didn't come here to be groped by a giant dumbass." No anger laced her words as she easily shoved him off. If he didn't know better, he'd have sworn compassion filled her words.
Tarek sat back, smiling so wide his cheeks ached. This woman was exactly who Lena needed–who he needed, too.
"All right. Now..." Wilma smoothed back her hair and pinned an amused Mateusz with her blue glare. "The girl awake yet?"
"Yes, though not ready for release until tomorrow." He hesitated, his admiration for Wilma blatant on his face. "And we're honored to have you back with us, Protector. I can't tell you how excited the elders were to–"
Wilma waved off whatever compliments Mateusz had wanted to give. "Yeah, yeah. Save it. Is she planning to stay with the ERP?"
Mateusz hid a laugh behind a cough. "Yes, thankfully. She's become one of our strongest Guides."
Tarek's heart skipped as the two spoke. He knew she was awake, logic and all that. But knowing Lena was alive, whole... The knowledge made breathing worth the effort.
"Strongest and the biggest pain in the ass from what I hear." She nudged Tarek's elbow. "Ain't that what you told me, boy?"
"Ah..." Well, not in those words, no.
"Yeah, that's what you said. No need to sugarcoat shit. It all smells the same underneath." Wilma crossed her arms over her ample chest and again focused on Mateusz. "Has she agreed to the Pairing?"
Mateusz shifted in his seat, giving Tarek a sidelong glance. "She has been informed of the change, but..."
Tarek stood. "I'll convince her." He'd spent the entire month working on that one issue.
Wilma rolled her eye
s. "Well, don't you think I should talk to her, too?"
Even though she'd hate it, Tarek bent to kiss the woman on her pudgy cheek. "You definitely should." He then went to the door before she had the chance to punch him in the mouth. "Midday tomorrow. Meet us at Shalen." He gave her the exact coordinates. "Farren will be there to keep you company until we arrive."
"What?" She swiped at the cheek he had kissed. "Why the hell do I have to go to the middle of nowhere to talk to her?"
Tarek opened the door. "You'll see."