Now he had Ellie as a housekeeper, he couldn’t really see himself letting her go. But then, Harriet had said he would not need a housekeeper once he married. Women understood these things. Harriet was probably right, you cannot have two women running a household. Being a housekeeper was the rightful role of the wife.
In two days, Ellie’s trial as housekeeper would be over and he would have to make a decision. Decide what would be the right thing to do for him, for the homestead, for Grammy, and for Ellie. And to make sure he honored his Ma and Pa’s wishes.
“Come on Eric, Fairy!”
Jared raced across the open fields on his horse, letting his thoughts fly to the wind. Grammy used to tell him that thinking too much was bad for the heart. She was right.
All he knew was things felt better now his cousin Harriet and Anne had left. Now they were gone, he didn’t have to think about any of it. He could race with the prairie winds streaming back his hair, chasing down the raspberry pink liquid sun as it slowly sunk down behind the hills. Dark clouds reared up behind Jared as he rode straight into the sunset.
Chapter 26
When Jared finally got home it was later than his usual time for finishing the day. He unsaddled Jessie and gave him a good rub down in the stalls. They had raced fast that evening, chasing the sunset as if it held all the answers.
Jessie was in prime condition. Jared knew the horse was dedicated to him, ready to help in any way it could, and that they would ride together through whatever life threw at them.
Jared gave Jessie a good feed, extra water and a blanket for the night. He decided that the horse would be given the run of the pastures tomorrow as a reward for racing so well today.
“You can feed up on juicy spring grass and wildflowers, Jessie, you’d like that, wouldn’t you boy?”
Jared walked through the dim early evening to the house. As he came in, he could see Grammy in the front room knitting in front of the fire. Bessie was at her feet sleeping contentedly.
“Good ride?” Grammy sometimes had an uncanny ability to know what he had been up to.
“Sure, I’m whacked now though. What’s for supper?”
“We had ours early, Ellie said she had some work to do clearing out the barn. Food’s keeping warm for you on the stove.”
Jared felt that things were back to normal again and he gladly devoured his meal. He appreciated that Grammy didn’t feel the need to talk about Cousin Harriet’s visit. Grammy correctly sensed that Jared wanted to be left alone. She quietly continued her knitting as Jared ate. Once he had finished, Grammy cleared up the dishes. She bade him goodnight and went up to bed, Bessie trailing behind her.
Jared relaxed in front of the fire after his meal, nursing a rare glass of whiskey and making a point of not thinking too much. Eric and Fairy slept at his feet.
How would this feel, with Anne sitting across from me? Would she make pretty conversation, doing some embroidery for her fine dresses?
The thought surprised him and he laughed at himself.
No point thinking about it. Forget it.
Jared had an impulse to walk out to the barn to see what Ellie was up to. It always cheered him up to have a joke at her. She was probably mending and cleaning things by lamplight. Always had some kind of project on the go, that girl.
Something within Jared made him hesitate, and he stopped himself from going out to the barn. It didn’t feel right to go seeking her out at this time of night. No, it was best to let her alone so she could do her job undisturbed.
Bed would be a better idea.
“Come on then boys,” Jared stood and stretched. “It’s time for us to go up.”
The three of them trudged up the stairs to Jared’s attic room which had a view over the back of the house. Jared looked out and he could see the warm glow of a kerosene lamp in the barn. Ellie, still working away as he had guessed.
Jared got into bed and lay down. The events of the day had got under his skin and he didn’t sleep fast and deep like he usually did. He drifted in and out of slumber for some hours. Finally, Jared turned in bed to face the window and opened his eyes. Bright moonlight was streaming in. Maybe that’s what was keeping him wakeful.
Jared heard a whining and scratching from somewhere in the depths of the house. He raised his head a little and listened again. Another whine and a muted yelp. Was one of the pups in trouble? He sprung up. Silent as an Indian, he softly padded out so as not to wake anyone.
The shadowy gallery corridor wound around the house in a circle, passing each of the attic bedrooms on the way. Jared quietly made his way along to Grammy’s room, the dark wooden corridor lit up black and white by shafts of moonlight.
He reached Grammy’s room but the scratching came from farther along. He spotted a little gray wiry bundle alone in a heap.
“Little fluffy one, what’s up with you?” Jared murmured as he scooped the mite up. It gave a small yelp in reply.
“Grammy shut you out?” Jared looked into the eyes of the whining little puppy. It looked like the pup had been shut out of Grammy’s room by mistake, separating it from Bessie and the rest of the litter.
“I can’t disturb Grammy now. Come on, you can sleep with me. I might have something to eat for you too,” Jared whispered in the pup’s ear. He didn’t make a sound as he continued on his way around the circular corridor back to his room.
Jared saw a steamy fog emerging from Ellie’s open door, lit up silver by the moon. He could smell the delicate scent of herbs on the steam. Without thinking Jared turned his head as he passed. He stopped in the shadows.
Ellie was standing with her back to him, about to step into her bath. Jared froze, unable to pull his eyes away. She was folding and pinning up her hair, wearing a white under-dress edged in lace. Her slim brown arms moved deftly with the pins. Jared stood there silently, mesmerized and motionless, his hands over his beating heart as he held the wriggling puppy.
Jared’s breath caught in his throat as he watched Ellie standing in the moonlight, fragrant steam billowing up around her from the tub. As she reached to unbutton her dress and let it fall, Jared quickly turned his face back to the dark corridor, shocked at himself.
What am I, some kind of peeper?
Jared crept back to his room. His heart beat faster than before as his mind completed the picture he had almost seen.
Chapter 27
The next day, Ellie awoke hours before dawn, feeling fully alert and awake. She had only managed to get one hour of sleep. She felt there was no point in lying there wasting time, so she got up and started her day.
The night before she had worked late into the night mending tools in the barn. She had needed to be alone with her thoughts. When she had finally come back to the house it was past midnight. She had taken a long hot bath with herbs to ease her aches and had got into bed. Her eyes had closed, but for some reason her entire body was on overdrive, refusing to let her sleep properly.
Ellie felt driven to achieve. Something within her pushed her to work every hour that God gave. She was only too aware that her trial period at the Ford household was soon to be over.
She knew that she might lose everything she had come to love over the past month. So she was trying to fit in all the possible work she could in the last hours of her time here, before the decision for her future was made. In truth, she was trying to improve her chances of being kept on as a housekeeper by working extra hours.
There was another reason why she was working so hard. It helped to clear her head as she tried to reconcile her feelings of longing with the reality of her situation.
The visit from Harriet and Anne yesterday had brought everything into stark contrast. When she had heard that Anne was being proposed as a wife for Jared, it made Ellie realize that she had not completely quashed her feelings for him. Not completely at all. Her heart seemed to have a mind of its own, however much she had tried not to care for him.
She had never meant for it to happen, but over the weeks Jared h
ad taken a place in her heart. She looked forward to seeing his face every morning. Her stomach fizzed and flipped in the mornings as she stoked the fire and made the coffee, waiting for him to appear. When he bounded down the stairs with his thick black hair free of his hat, his green eyes twinkling, he made her heart leap. Took her breath away.
To Ellie it felt like a thread of connection between them. She had tried to ignore the feeling because she knew Jared did not feel the same way, but it had been difficult for her. Jared would seek her out just to make her laugh as if it gave him pleasure to see her smile. Ellie would expect him to come and find her. She looked forward to it, thriving on their times together.
Yesterday when the beautiful Anne had appeared, all set up and willing to be Jared’s bride, Ellie’s hopes had been dashed. In an instant, she knew she was no match for Anne. In looks, in strength, in social standing, everything.
Ellie sighed at herself. Why had she had a dizzy spell in front of visitors? Couldn’t it have waited? When she had broken the jug in front of them, she had felt like a stupid, poor girl who was to be pitied.
I am a thin, sickly, drawn, pale looking girl. How could he ever be interested in me?
Ellie saw clearly now that when Jared was kind to her, it was only to make her feel welcome and to make her laugh. He was the kindest, funniest man, but he was that way with everyone. Not just her. He would laugh with everyone - with Grammy, Michael and David, Eric and Fairy. He had even got Harriet laughing during her visit yesterday. He was that sort of man. He always had a big smile and a friendly word to offer.
Ellie berated herself for having been out of line. Without meaning to, she had let her thoughts turn to longing for him. Even though she knew the feeling was not reciprocated.
At least she could comfort herself that no one was the wiser for it. She had not made a fool of herself, except in her own mind. She had not put Jared into an uncomfortable position, thank God. She could stop these silly imaginings now. Put an end to the whole affair once and for all.
On the other hand, Ellie had seen that Jared had not been especially enthusiastic about Harriet’s suggestion. He had been polite to Harriet all right. But he hadn’t jumped at the chance to marry Anne. Far from it. And although he had admitted that Anne was a fair woman, in fact he had hardly looked at her.
Or not that Ellie had noticed. Maybe he had been looking at her surreptitiously and liked what he saw.
Ellie did not know what was going on in Jared’s head, and she reminded herself that it was none of her business. She shouldn’t waste time thinking about it. It had to be over now, this romance in her head. Finished. This love affair that had never started.
Ellie made her way downstairs and silently got the fire going. She made some coffee for herself and started work sweeping the floor in the predawn darkness, lit up by a kerosene lamp.
After she had finished the floor she would polish all the cutlery, then she would make breakfast. After serving breakfast she planned to work all day on laundry. Laundry was tough sweaty work that took every ounce of her energy. That was exactly why she wanted to do it today. Anything to distract herself. The harder the work, the better, as far as Ellie was concerned.
Tomorrow would be the last day of her trial, the day that she and Jared would discuss if she had a future here. She knew that if Jared married Anne, they would not want her around. There would be no need for a housekeeper if there was a wife in the house.
Ellie needed to give herself some kind of hope to hold onto so she could keep her spirits up. Jared hadn’t seemed to want to marry Anne, and Ellie hoped that the marriage would not take place so she could stay on as housekeeper. Ellie reasoned to herself that she was not being selfish but that she simply wanted Jared to achieve his goal of not marrying yet. After all, he had appeared reluctant yesterday.
Ellie hoped against hope that if she worked hard enough, God willing she would earn a place here as a long-term housekeeper.
If she could just stay and continue to serve Jared and Grammy, then she would be satisfied. No - she would be overjoyed. She felt angry at herself for ever having wished for something more from Jared. It was an insult to Jared to think of him as anything other than her employer.
If she had to go and look for work elsewhere, she knew she could never find such a perfect spot as this in the whole of America. This house felt like her home already. These people had accepted her in a way that had touched her heart and made her feel whole again. She had to stay here. She was going to stay here. And the way it was going to happen was by her working harder than she had ever worked in her life.
I have no looks or charm, but what I do have is my bare hands and my force of will.
Ellie heard the noise of Grammy’s door opening up on the top floor, and the skittering of claws on wood as the puppies came careering down the winding stairs. Four pups arrived, racing each other down, followed by Grammy stiffly hobbling.
“Grammy, I will bring your coffee and breakfast up right away, don’t trouble yourself.”
“It’s all right my pet, good for my morning bones to get a bit of a stretch. Wanted to know if you’ve seen Pip, the puppy?”
“No, shall I look for him?”
“It’s all right, Jared probably has him. I will ask him when he comes down. He’s sleeping a little later today.”
Grammy sat down and accepted a mug of coffee from Ellie. As she drank her coffee, she watched Ellie clearing up the pots in the sink. Worry creased Grammy’s forehead and she spoke up.
“How are you feeling, pet? Don’t work yourself too hard, I really don’t know when you sleep.”
Ellie turned from the sink and flashed a grateful smile at her. “You mustn’t worry about me, I’m having the time of my life being here, you know that.”
Grammy’s face brightened up. “Now, Ellie dear, tonight you must have some time for fun and play. Remember I told you it’s the annual spring dance in town this evening? I insist, you are to go and enjoy yourself. I have adjusted a dress for you, and I promise you I will sulk for weeks if you do not go.”
“Oh - I had forgotten.”
“It’s the dance of the season, people are traveling from all around to come. They have a band coming from San Francisco to entertain everyone. There’ll be fiddles and singing and all. I would go myself, but my leg’s been acting up recently.”
“If you wish me to go, I will go, Grammy.”
“… and have a wonderful time whirling around dancing, so you will. We will have an early tea at 3 o’clock then you are to come up to my room and I will fit you into your dress. Such a beauty you’ll be, with your curves all rounded out now you are eating properly.”
Ellie grimaced a little, but she was looking forward to it. Surely a good dance would burn off her extra energy and let her get some sleep tonight.
Chapter 28
Jared was suspended in mid-air, drifting on a golden pillow of warm light. He was high above the ground but he didn’t feel afraid. He could see the prairie spread out below him stretching out for miles, the gentle rolling hills fading into the distance. The pale blue sky stretched up above, wreathed in strands of mist. Little pillow-like clouds bobbed around him, touched with pink at their edges.
From his floating pillow Jared could see the sun slowly rising in the east. It looked different from this angle somehow. He was looking down on it, and it looked like a glass ball of churning fire with pink and yellow flames licking up. As the sun rose inch by inch, Jared’s pillow lightly floated along in the sky, moving higher and higher. He had no cares, only a delectable feeling of melting into his pillow of light. His entire body felt warm and comfortable as he gazed languidly at the view.
Jared looked up into the infinite sky above him. A vision of dazzling white light and feathered wings appeared. It was a winged creature, coming toward him as if it were the most natural thing in the world. The ethereal being was so bright he could not look for long without hurting his eyes. He shut his lids, still sensing its presen
ce.
The silky feathers of a wing brushed against his face. He felt the warmth of the creature close to him, and a pair of lips pressed to his cheek in a kiss. He felt fingers trail over his forehead and delicately rake through his hair. He opened his eyes and caught a glimpse of the beauty of the creature before it flitted away. He was carried away by such a sweet feeling …
“Yip-yip! Grr … yip-yip!”
Having tested out Jared’s face by licking it, the little gray pup had pounced onto Jared’s thick black hair. His hair was flowing onto the plump feathery pillow and it was too tempting for a small pup to leave alone. Plunging its little paws in, the pup growled and dug for all it was worth, as if a baby rabbit might be hidden in there.
Jared opened his eyes, smiled and lazily lifted both arms behind his head to extract the puppy. Claws pulled at his hair as he lifted the animal out gently.
“Morning, Pip. So you think it’s time for me to be up, do you, you tiresome tumbleweed? All fluff and claws you are.”
Jared cradled Pip onto his chest and turned his head toward the window. He hadn’t pulled the curtains shut the night before and he could see right out onto the prairie with the wide sky overhead. The yellow rising sun shone brightly on his bed, hot and comforting. Jared checked the pocket watch he had laid on the side table the night before. He had slept a whole hour later than his usual time to rise. Couldn’t remember the last time he had done that. What a dream, too, he never dreamed such fanciful dreams.
An angel? Am I turning soft?
Jared smiled and let his head lie back on the pillow for a moment, the sun full on his face as he shut his eyes. As the dream slowly faded from his consciousness he enjoyed the last remnants of it. He soaked up the sun for one more minute then he sprung out of bed holding Pip. He placed the puppy down carefully on the floor beside Eric and Fairy.
Time to get moving on the ranch. He had a lot to do today and he had to fit it all into a small work day. There was a dance this evening in town, the seasonal spring dance. He liked to have a jig with the music as much as the next man, but today he didn’t want to go. Too much work to do. The problem was, he couldn’t get out of the dance now. Cousin Harriet and Anne had sent a messenger yesterday announcing their intentions to attend with him, requesting that he escort them.
Mail Order Love (Sweet Mail Order Bride Historical Romance Novel) (Oregon Mail Order Brides) Page 10