by Abigail Agar
The music drifted in and out of the room as the musicians played festive hymns and songs to keep the dancers moving. Jules gave into curiosity and asked, “What do you know?”
Gregory nodded over at the Trenton sisters. “That taller young lady is Rachel’s older sister, the middle child of the Marquis of Dorchire,” Gregory said with a smile. “Apparently, she does charity work with one of the churches that are involved with the pet project of my brother to improve conditions in the poor houses.”
“Oh,” Jules said as she folded her arms. “I think I can use that to my advantage.”
Gregory laughed, “Why not just let things happen? I think you might be surprised by how much things just happen on their own.”
Jules frowned, “Maybe, but how can I be sure? What if they dance around each other for years?”
Gregory sighed and pulled his wife with him to the dance floor. “What is bothering you?”
“Nothing,” Jules said softly. She avoided his grey eyes but found herself caught in them anyway. “Fine,” Jules breathed out. “I am nervous about the birth.”
Gregory smiled and chuckled. “Is that all? I thought you were going insane through some imbalance caused by bad spirits.”
“Very funny,” Jules said grumpily.
Gregory sighed and said, “I cannot really help with that other than to say I am quite nervous about that as well.”
“Are you really?” Jules asked the man, and he nodded. She had never thought of the Duke as being afraid of much. “I did not think you afraid of anything.”
Gregory scoffed, “Says the woman who rode off into danger multiple times to find my brother and me. No. You are the one I would call fearless. Yet here we both are, and we are afraid.”
Jules leaned her head against Gregory’s shoulder as they danced slowly to one side of the dance floor to avoid the swirling couples. She sighed against the man’s fine cloth jacket, “I truly have been a terror these past few days, haven’t I?”
“Oh, a little,” Gregory said with a grin, “but I can live with it. I just want you to feel better.”
Jules nodded as she leaned up to look at Gregory. “I will feel better when I hold my baby in my arms.”
“I look forward to that too,” Gregory happily admitted.
***
Fredrick was standing outside when Gregory walked up beside him. “Word to the wise, Brother, I think my bride is searching for the perfect mate for you,” Gregory said with a smile.
“Lord, have mercy upon me. Why did I not die before this?” Fredrick said dramatically. “Does she have anyone in particular in mind? I hope not that child she introduced to us.”
Gregory chuckled and said, “I dissuaded her from any notions she might have about that pairing, so have no fear on that front, good soldier.”
“You are a good man, Gregory,” Fredrick said earnestly. “Seriously, is she still playing matchmaker with me?”
Gregory sighed and said, “I am not entirely sure, but she is a bit antsy, and it gives her something to do.”
“This is not funny, Gregory,” Fredrick said as his brother eyed him in amusement. “The things I endure for this family.”
Gregory patted his brother on the shoulder and gave him a wink as he left to go back inside.
The snow had begun to drift down in big fluffy flakes that floated lazily as if they had all the time in the world. Fredrick batted at one, and a voice asked, “What did that snowflake do to raise such ire from you?”
Fredrick turned and smiled on reflex. “Lady Trenton,” Fredrick said as he turned fully towards Amanda.
“Do not let me stop you from your amusements,” Amanda said with a smile. “I saw the snow was coming down well, and I just wanted to be out in it for a moment.”
Fredrick turned back away from the house and watched the flakes floating. Amanda stepped up beside him and admired the flakes set against the dark tree line. They were silent for a long while, just standing in the snow in comfortable silence.
Finally, Fredrick spoke, “My father loved the snow. He loved it more than we did, I think.”
“Really? I do not think my father would even step outside all winter if it were not for business,” Amanda said with a laugh. “What was your father like?”
Fredrick shrugged. He said softly, “He was very tall. He had this big booming voice, and he would always laugh when it snowed. We used to sledge down a hill in the back. You cannot see it really at night, but it is a beauty of a hill.”
“I would love to sledge,” Amanda said with a warm smile. “I never have.”
Fredrick laughed. “You have never sledged? If I had another leg, then I would teach you.”
“What does your leg have to do with sledging? Are you not sitting when you slide down the hill?” Amanda asked with a grin.
Fredrick knew a challenge when he heard one. He shook his finger at her. “You are a very shrewd woman. I have said it before, Lady Trenton, and I will say it again, you were made to be a barrister.”
“My talents work much better at getting blusterous barristers to listen rather than talk,” Amanda said with a shake of her head. “Besides, my inclinations are more towards hearth and home.”
Fredrick smiled and shrugged. “So are mine,” he admitted.
“And yet you went to war,” Amanda said in fascination. “Why do that?”
Fredrick sighed and explained simply, “Family and honour.”
“Ah,” Amanda said with a nod. “My father talks of that a lot, which is fine, except he has a house full of girls. He talks as if we will march off to battle any day.”
Fredrick gave a harsh and cold laugh before he said sadly, “What you do holds more honour than any battlefield, Lady Trenton.”
Amanda smiled at Fredrick. “I think that is a very kind compliment, Sir St Claire,” she said softly.
***
“What are you doing?” Gregory asked with a laugh. Jules jumped up and spun around. Gregory tried to see past her and saw over her head the shape of Fredrick with a young lady outside. “Ah,” Gregory said. “Spying.”
Jules frowned. “Just a little,” she admitted. “It isn’t as if I can hear anything, and the snow is coming down quite well.”
Mrs Kelley came out of the kitchen and caught Jules’ eye. “Can I talk to you for a moment?”
Jules cleared her throat and said, “Of course. I will be right there.”
“I know you somehow set that up,” Gregory said with a laugh.
Jules scoffed, “How could I? She was in the kitchen. Go be grumpy somewhere else.” Gregory just chuckled as his wife hurried off after her mother towards the kitchens.
Mrs Kelley was waiting at the kitchen table with some cookies and milk. She waved for Jules to come over. “When I was first pregnant, I craved these cookies. They were about the only thing that made me be able to sleep properly,” Mrs Kelley said softly.
Jules smiled and sat down with her mother at the table. She picked up a cookie and smelled it. “I remember these cookies. They taste spicy. You had them when you were pregnant with the girls.”
“Yes,” Mrs Kelley said with a smile. “I know that you have been through so much, and I am glad you have found a good husband. I just am sad that we might forget who we are in all of this.”
Jules clasped her mother’s hand. “I will never forget whose daughter I am, Mama,” Jules said confidently. She bit into the cookie and laughed. “It’s amazing how much better just the taste of that makes me feel.”
Mrs Kelley laughed lightly and gave her daughter’s hand a squeeze. “So are you ready to talk about what is going with you?”
“Why does everyone think something is wrong with me?” Jules asked as she pouted.
Mrs Kelley ventured, “Perhaps because you are pouting, and I don’t think that I have ever seen you pout. Darling, all women go through a phase where they want to nest and make things better for the baby that is coming. It is simply nature. It is a good sign.”
�
�It does not feel like a good sign,” Jules said miserably. “I really just want to help everyone be as happy as I am, but to tell the truth, Mama, I am afraid all the time.”
Mrs Kelley smiled knowingly. “I thought you might be, but old habits die hard. You have been pretending to be a man for so long that you forgot to let go of the bravado they carry.” Mrs Kelley gave her daughter’s face a gentle caress with her free hand. “There is something very powerful about a fragile woman, my daughter. We can do all manner of things that men cannot dream of. Just breathe.”
“But I am so scared that I won’t know what to do, or I won’t be able to handle the pain,” Jules said softly as tears brimmed up in her eyes.
Mrs Kelley said softly, “It is okay to worry or to be scared. We all were.”
Jules smiled and nodded, “I feel better knowing that.”
***
The hour grew late, and one by one the guests began to leave, save a few families who had opted to stay the night and return home in the morning due to the snow. The Marquis of Dorchire and his daughters were among those who chose to stay. Jules hopped off to bed that night with a bounce to her step that she attributed to her mother’s advice and cookies.
The hour was small when Jules’ eyes popped open. What had awakened her? She sat up searching for what had roused her. Gregory lay next to her oblivious to her. Jules snuggled back into the pillows and tried to go back to sleep, but she felt so oddly hot and anxious.
Jules got up out of bed and paced a bit, hoping the cool of the floor would soothe her. She pulled on her robe and opened the door. “Where are you going?” Gregory asked groggily as he sat up in bed.
“Sorry. I did not mean to wake you,” Jules said sheepishly. “I just woke up, and I cannot go back to sleep.”
Gregory got out of bed and pulled on his robe as well. “Come then, I will walk with you.”
“You do not have to do that. Go back to sleep,” Jules insisted.
However, Gregory just shook his head at her. “You know better than to argue with me,” Gregory said with a laugh.
Jules waved off the man’s frivolity. She was not feeling very humorous. She just wanted to walk. Turning on her heel, she headed off down the hallway with Gregory close behind her.
Downstairs, Jules looked at all the decorations. There would be church services in the morning, she thought. She could hear the hymns they would sing already. She wandered past the large Christmas tree and out towards the back door that led out just below where the hill was that Gregory and Fredrick had sledged on as children, and still did on occasion if Fredrick could be talked into it.
Gregory said, “It is a bit cold outside. Maybe you should stay inside?”
Jules nodded and then clutched her stomach. She wanted to tell Gregory what was wrong, but she could scarcely breathe, let alone talk. Gregory just held her and whispered, “It is okay. Breathe.”
When it finally subsided enough that she could form words she said, “Get my mother.”
The next few minutes were a blur of activity. She was put upstairs in one of the bedrooms where she paced relentlessly. Sherry, her mother, Lady St Claire, and several other servants were in the room with her. The pains came and went, and the time seemed meaningless.
She rested when she could, paced when she needed to, and when the pain finally got bad enough that her mother told her that the baby’s birth was near, Jules just felt exhilaration. She had no time to feel anything beyond determination. The pains were constant, and the urge to push too strong.
Before she realized it, there was a tiny cry, and Jules caught sight of her son for the first time. Love bloomed in her heart, and she cried right along with her son. Her mother placed her son on her chest, and Jules stroked his dark hair.
When Gregory was finally let into the room, he looked around anxiously until his eyes landed on Jules who beckoned him over as the other ladies made their way out of the room. “Look,” Jules said softly. She nodded down at the small wiggly baby cradled against her bare chest.
Gregory smiled and reached down to touch his tiny hand. “My son,” Gregory whispered.
“He is perfect,” Jules said softly.
Gregory nodded his agreement. “He is truly one of the best gifts I have ever received for Christmas or any other time.” He stayed with Jules until she began to doze, and Mrs Kelley came in to put the baby in his bassinet nearby.
“You should go get some rest. Little ones do not sleep for long, Your Grace,” Mrs Kelley said, and then she smiled and added, “Congratulations.”
Gregory dipped his head and said, “And congratulations to you as well.” Mrs Kelley smiled at the man’s words as she swaddled the infant up.
“The baby is good?” Fredrick asked anxiously as Gregory stepped outside the bedroom.
Gregory nodded and gave Fredrick a big smile. “He is so tiny and so loud. He is good.”
***
Two weeks later, Fredrick stood in the backyard. It had snowed quite well for a couple of days. The hill out back looked very inviting, but he stood just staring out at the naked trees where the crows rested. There was an odd silence outside. Fredrick knew that inside the house was the hustle and bustle of the daily life of the manor and the added shrieks of an infant.
“Are you going to go down it?” Amanda asked as she stepped outside in her warm winter clothes.
Fredrick eyed the hill and said, “I have not made up my mind yet.”
“Is there something that would sway you?” Amanda asked with a laugh.
Fredrick said seriously, “Perhaps if someone were to go down the hill with me.”
“That is most uncouth. Anyone who would behave in such a manner truly has to be a savage,” Amanda remarked with a shake of her head.
Fredrick sighed. “Yes, but think of what your father would say.”
“He probably would not say much as he fell to the ground,” Amanda assured Fredrick.
The door to the backyard opened, and Gregory stepped outside. “What are you two doing?”
Amanda said, “Sir St Claire was just telling me how he was going to go down the hill.”
“Oh?” Gregory waved at the hill. “Go on then. We shall tell you what we think of it.”
Fredrick glared at his brother but sighed as he resigned himself to walking through the snow. Amanda exclaimed, “You should have help.”
“I should?” Fredrick said with humour. He might have felt reproach at the offer of aid, but from Amanda, it did not feel like a slight, more an excuse to be closer.
Amanda rushed over and nodded, “Of course. Let me aid you.”
“You are an angel of mercy,” Fredrick said with a smile as he assented to her help. When they made it to the top, Fredrick let her sit down on the wooden sledge first, and then he sat down behind her.
Amanda yelped in fright as the sledge lurched forward which caused Fredrick to chuckle. By the time they reached the bottom, they were both laughing and covered in snow. Gregory was most amused.
“I dare say, I am glad the Marquis did not see that demonstration,” Gregory said with laughter.
Amanda leaped up and dusted herself off. “This must look so horrible on me. I am embarrassed,” she said hastily.