Chapter
34
Anonymity
---
I left the Medical Facility on my own accord.
I talked to that same, attractive reception lady, and informed her of my exit.
I asked when I was brought in but she couldn’t even answer that question because she was unaware of my presence, exactly like the last time I was here, and then she went on and on about that room number being not-vacant... blah, blah, blah.
I asked her if she saw Ms. William or Rebecca, even perhaps Ms. Malcolm, but apparently, from her airheaded comments: She didn’t see anyone check in for visitation.
How could that even be possible? So basically I envisioned Ms. William and Rebecca resting soundly in the room I was in. I couldn’t bend that fact… unless I was hallucinating; I mean I did have some bizarre dreams that night. And that thing I recall Dr. Harris mentioning, that strange bend in unreality where the mind gets stuck between the body and soul… it kept happening.
I stood motionless outside the Medical Facility. And then Amy came to mind… I shook my head trying to erase her from my thoughts, but did it really matter? The final words Amy told me: lost me; does it really matter anymore?
Seriously, I mean nothing matters in the coming days that are approaching so quickly that I felt time slipping past the tips of my fingers… the LCP will consume my life and I’ll never see anyone ever again… just like Amy and Ms. Johnson.
I grimaced and took a deep breath. Was it really my birthday today or did I miss it completely? I sulked and winced at this irritating hunger that just cramped my stomach. Not only that but all these random thoughts spiraling all though my conscious left me frazzled, aggravated; almost to the point to just scream at the top of my lungs.
“Sam.”
It was Oliver.
He appeared from the bushes near the sidewalk. He was fully dressed in a black cloak, and his face, veiled by this strange, gold mask. It left me startled on sight.
I smirked, “So what’s the occasion?”
He cleared his throat, “We’re monitoring your Birthday Celebration, of course, we’ll be hidden, but in case anyone witnesses our presence we’d seem like an illusion.” Oliver explained.
“So I guess I didn’t miss my Birthday after all.”
“Sam,” he sighed. “Look, I’m not here to reminisce about my frightful attire or you’re upcoming Birthday Celebration: I came to inform you about what happened,” he hesitated and took a deep breath, “I’m sorry, so sorry… I-I mean even me here apologizing doesn’t seem to even fair well, you know. What happened in that dune shouldn’t have happened at all. So please forgive me for causing a grand man to fall.”
I laughed a bit nervously. “Don’t you mean die?”
His strange blue eyes opened wide, “His death was a mistake; we didn’t want that for him Sam… at least I didn’t, those Guardians are perfectly engineered… too perfect.”
I scoffed, “Gee ok, an intentional mistake then… just because you didn’t want him to die doesn’t mean the rest of the Council didn’t.”
“I didn’t come here to argue Sam, so please, settle down.”
I groaned to my exhaustion, “You’re right… it-it doesn’t matter anymore. Where are Ms. William and Rebecca? I swear Oliver; I saw them in my room. And that airheaded reception lady there doesn’t even recall me or them entering or leaving.”
He sighed and crossed his arms, “Discretionary protocols, Sam… we can’t just waltz in through the front door. This general location is allocated from general crimes and irregularities… at least to the extent of those that aren’t lead by their curiosity.”
His sarcasm didn’t amuse me one bit… I knew his indirect remark meant Rebecca and I’s ever so eager, and unrelenting, search for answers.
“But you let those hideous mammoths wander about in search of Rebecca and I?”
“Enough Sam, I can’t answer that in the middle of a highly surveyed pathway. But I’ll answer this, neither Rebecca or Ms. William had the clearance to go visit you… you must have just, perhaps envisioned them.” He explained seriously.
So apparently I’m now hallucinating. Not only am I now having bizarre life-like dreams with a person I’ve never met and visions about random events, but now I’m seeing ghosts too. Oliver, the person who normally clarifies things, is now being overly discreet and enigmatic.
“Then was Ms. William informed… is Rebecca ok? I mean, come on Thomas-err, Oliver TELL ME!” I bellowed at the top of my lungs.
Something I’ve never done before, something that just suddenly occurred with me not even consulting my conscious….
He cleared his throat, “Yes and yes, Ms. William was informed that you’d be back today and Rebecca went back to Ms. Malcolm’s.” He took a step closer to me, “Sam, you mustn’t repeat anything that happened. Do you understand me?” His eyes squinted.
I laughed, “I think I’ve gotten accustom to the routine by now”
“Good, good. I am sorry I didn’t inform you in the Medical Facility but we were tied up with a bunch of affairs and yours and Rebecca’s Birthday festivity.” Oliver explained with a much friendlier tone.
I nodded.
“Now, Ms. William wants you to go to Ms. Malcolm’s house and stay with them until the celebration commences, she’s tied up with important things at the Council office,” he rolled his sleeve from the cloak off his wrist and checked his watch, “You’re celebration begins in five hours. Oh and one more thing, here,” he reached into his cloak pocket and pulled out a small, zip-lock bag, with those three red pills enclosed inside, and handed it to me, “This is your medication, before you proceed to Rebecca’s go inside the Medical Facility and take them. I’ll see you soon.”
“Thomas wait, wait a second.”
He turned around, grabbed my collar, pulled me so close to his face that I could smell his breath discharge from the creases of the mask, “Don’t call me that.” He said.
I shoved him away, “Ms. William works with the Council… she told me this.”
“Some things do better not knowing, and her job classification isn’t none of a teenagers concern,” he sighed diligently, “Sam you’ve got to keep your nose out of certain things, this is your final year ok, keep things uninteresting for once.”
“And what exactly are you implying?”
“You know the answer already and it’ll soon hit you. And now I must go.”
After parting way with Oliver and taking the medication, I made my way towards Rebecca’s house.
Quite magical how my hunger just disappeared… and quite amusing how they’ve changed the Myrmidon attire to some more uh: portentous and fearsome. I wonder now if I’ll have two things to worry about, those ugly werewolf things and now menacing Myrmidons in scary uniforms trying not to attract spectators but to make the spectator think they’re imagining them? Wow.
I’m ready to just leave, ready to take this chapter of my life and put it to a close… bring on whatever the LCP has in store for me and let it drown me away into a new direction where I can just void it away and start anew.
I walked through the vacant sidewalks like I normally did, however, this time around, I had clenched fists and raging aggravation with every solid step I took.
I couldn’t control my hatred and annoyance, but I hope, I did hope… that word that Ms. William considered some erroneous and artificial, imaginary implication to acquire a certain amount of boost to moral… even then I still hoped for a breathtaking time with Rebecca in our celebration.
I didn’t want to forget today, and I wasn’t soon going to sacrifice that memory to the void.
“Ahem,” I heard a wondrous, tension relieving, voice clear her throat.
“Sam!” Rebecca bellowed.
I turned around and saw her running towards me with arms spread wide and her flawlessly glee filled expression accepting my bleak plagued face.
I caught her in my arms as she embraced me with a
tight hug, her silky hair grazing my face and head pressing against my chest.
“Sam I was so worried!”
“You know, so was I, more than you’d imagine.”
“Sam!” She pulled away from me and stared at me dead in the eyes, “You seem a bit flustered… you ok?”
Now she can read me?
“I’m just not feeling well.” I replied as vague as possible, to the point where I didn’t even understand myself, or my own tone of voice.
“Gee uh, ok, fine, be that way!”
Rebecca shoved me back with two throbbing plows against my chest, “Oh and happy birthday to you too by the way!”
I winced, “Rebecca.”
“Becca!”
“Becca…,” I stared into her eyes, “Do you know who Claudius R. Roman is?”
She pursed her lips and rolled her eyes, “Did you ever ask Amy about that?”
“Uh, huh, what? Amy? No, no, why?”
“Because when she let me examine her LCP it was nothing like mine,” she hesitated, “I’d assume mine looks almost identical to yours… does Classified mean anything to you?”
I gasped, “Yes”
She cleared her throat abruptly, turning her head away from me and slapped me in the face with her hair, “As is mine. Now let’s go home.”
I was truly astounded… so Rebecca’s LCP is as well Classified as mine. This coincidental trail of things in common left me wondering if the Council could have done this on purpose. What if we are connected in some radical way?
We were released on the same day by the same notorious Dr. Harris, both have distinguishing characteristics, share like forms of thinking, and have that so-called: Encoding number tattooed on our wrist.
I followed closely behind her.
“Becca, what happened back at the beach?”
She shrugged, “Huh, what are you talking about Sam?”
Was she playing me for a fool?
“Becca, what do you mean what am I talking about, yesterday, yesterday remember?” I planted my index finger on the temple of my head.
She cleared her throat, turned around, and gave me ghastly look, “You know Sam, there’s an obvious routine you should be use to by now that entails prudence”
“Uh prudence?”
Rebecca giggled, more than likely at the fact of my completely baffled reaction, to not only her little comment and a word I didn’t recognize, but to her authentic and Myrmidon-like mystifying explanation.
“You seriously need to freshen up on your vocabulary Sam!” She gave me a friendly nudge on my arm, “Now, can we stop talking and get home? I’m hungry!”
I nodded.
I sat on Rebecca’s bed and just remained motionless for quite some time. My thoughts seemed out of line, ranging from the image of the President to Oliver’s new little change of attire. The two seemed intertwined, connected in an eerie fashion that left the hair in the back of my neck standing.
Rebecca entered the room, “You hungry Sam?”
I didn’t want to answer; I was too entangled in this little thought process that left me with trails of broken ends that didn’t seem to tie in any possible way.
What could possibly be the connection with all these odd chain of events that have occurred so sporadic? I mean it seemed normal, or at least in a way it did.
But now seeing things a bit more thorough and less blinded by all the illusive misconceptions and perfections… the voyage to where I am now was one that was going to occur no matter what other choices I took.
For actions and choices pave the road to whatever occurs in the future… and this future seemed more and more menacing and forthcoming as it ever has. And I wasn’t one to embrace it.
“You look lost in thought… what’s up?”
Rebecca sat next to me and set her head on my shoulder.
“Becca what’s happening?”
That’s all I could pull, that’s all I thought was appropriate to say.
I remember something, a notion that has remained dormant in my mind until the moment I felt the need for it: Regret. I had regret, I felt it noosing around my heart, tightening to such an extent that I couldn’t handle it anymore; I wanted to rash out and scream so abruptly that I’d probably end up in the Medical Facility again.
But I couldn’t, I felt so sure, so sure about everything I thought was right, but I was wrong. Nothing is right; I’ve been arrogant and selfish, seeing things in an absentminded perspective, not deciphering the clues, not looking at the signs… but what if, what if it was only my immaturity that canceled the even odds of these ongoing, obvious, events leading to the ultimatum that occurred yesterday?
I’m fifteen years old today, and it’s only felt like yesterday since my release from my chamber.
This pressure started building, my eyes felt warm, until streaks of tears slithered down my cheeks. I sniffled, and straightened my arched back, closing my eyes as tight as possible to stop the coming bawl.
“It wasn’t your fault Sam… things happen for a reason.”
She continued on, but her jabber didn’t seem important, because once she said reason I took that word in and it started breaking down into different areas of my mind.
There couldn’t be reason in this place. Reason was obsolete, reason is some fairytale word used to find answers where there weren’t any to be found.
Reason is a catastrophe that’s ill-approaching fate will devour and consume the person who seeks… and seeks until they break, and the answer they thought could bring a form of enlightenment only brings other questions. It’s a vicious cycle, one that no one will ever understand, because reason, is reason, and reason never has an answer.
“Who knows Sam, he could still be alive.” Rebecca said.
“What makes you so sure Becca? I wasn’t there to witness what had happened.”
“Sam, why does it matter?” She hissed.
She was right; again, I went too far, delving into the reaches of an unanswerable climatic, never-ending cycle of presumptions.
“You’re right.” I answered, my tone unenthused and completely dry… I didn’t feel any emotion inside me, I felt hollow, like some part of me had been taken away.
A numbness, this, this drought inside of me; consuming me, erasing every and all ounce of emotions... what I am now? A hollow? A dismal cavity that's soul was shredded into pieces because of cause and effect?
I don't know. And perhaps, that answer will never come to me either.
“Sam it’s our birthday, come on! You should be excited!”
No. I wasn't. There isn't anything to look forward to. I'm lost... lost to, my own entity.
I bit my lip.
There she was again, trying her best to bring some form of light into a day that seems as ominous as the black behind my eyelids.
“Becca, I know you’re not suppose to inform me about what happened… so please just tell me.”
Rebecca blurted out with screech, “Enough! Sam why is it so important to know what happened?”
I stood and moved to the door, “Because I actually care.”
“Care about what? About him? About the person that caused corruption… it was his own order that caused those things to come after us in the first place!”
I faced her, “I’m…,” I sighed and grimaced, wincing at my own deluded self… the traumatizing agony left me delirious, “I didn’t want him to die. He shouldn't have died,” I balled my fists and sent it against the door, "I'm sorry, Becca."
Rebecca covered her mouth to muffle her gasp, “How can you say that! How can you do that?” She bellowed, “How dare you say that!”
She hurried over and jabbed her index finger against my chest.
“What, die? Death?”
“Shut up! You can’t say that Sam, it’s not right… it’s illegal!” She pointed at the monitor.
I left. I needed to cool off. I didn’t feel like me, I felt like some other person, some random, unanimous thing was controlling me;
pulling my strings and making me react differently.
I sat outside Rebecca’s townhouse. I curled up in a little ball and rocked myself a bit, trying to keep my mind as empty as possible: not letting a single thought manipulate my simple grasp of peace.
I heard the door open.
“Sam,” I heard Rebecca say, her voice less harsh and softer, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to go off like that… I’m-I’m so confused right now, I feel so much pressure ready to burst! I can’t even think straight…”
Her babble continued, and I knew what she meant, because I felt the same way.
“Dr. Harris’s body wasn’t in the water Sam. That one Myrmidon that looked like a chubby, toad searched for quite some time and didn’t find his body. He said something about it drifting to the depths of the sea. Yes Sam, Dr. Harris is,” she hesitated, “Dead.”
I couldn’t believe that.
“What happened to the Guardians?”
“Uh, they were shot and killed.” She explained with her voice lowering to a whisper as the word killed slipped past her lips.
I guess any similar word that meant the same thing as die left her a bit dazed.
“Sam, we have a bit before the birthday thing, want to go to the market and grab some food?”
I nodded, “Ok.”
---
The Adorned Page 39