Inappropriate Behaviour

by Gareth Parker

Waking up with a heavy head is never a good feeling and turning over to find a brunette, bare chested lying next to me with no idea of what happened last night I feel complete remorse. She opens her eyes, looks at me just staring for a few seconds with me just staring back.

  ‘Morning soldier,’ she says with a smile.

  ‘Morning, You ok?’

  ‘I think so. Got pretty drunk last night. What time is it?’ I look at my alarm clock next to my bed.

  ‘Ten past ten.’

  ‘Oops! I was meant to start work at nine,’ she says in a calm voice, not really caring.

  ‘Don’t you think you better make a move then?’ I’m keen to get her out of my bed.

  ‘Use and abuse, I get it.’

  ‘No it’s not like that. If I'm honest with you I don’t remember anything, not even your name.’

  ‘Gosh you know how to sweep a girl off her feet don’t you?’ still appearing relaxed as though this isn’t the first time she’s jumped into bed with a stranger.

  ‘Sorry. I'm just being honest. Think its better than me lying here pretending that I remember everything and look like a right dick.’

  ‘True. Well my name’s Jamie and yes we had sex last night and no you weren’t very good.’ She smiles at me looking slightly evil. ‘I'm just being honest.’

  ‘Nice, thanks.’

  She rolls out of my bed and reveals her naked body. I look her up and down and mumble to myself, ‘Glad I don’t remember it.’

  ‘What was that?’ she asked, obviously hearing every word I said.

  ‘Nothing dear.’ She gives me a fake awkward smile and pulls her dress on from last night, covering herself up thankfully.

  ‘So are you going to give me a lift home?’

  ‘I can’t - don’t have a car.’

  ‘Hmm ok… Last night you were bragging about your car.’

  ‘I was probably lying to you love.’

  ‘You’re a true gentleman, aren’t you?’

  ‘To be honest I'm not and you’re not exactly a lady are you?’

  ‘What do you mean by that?’

  ‘Nothing. You can leave now.’ She walks over to me, getting her face close up to mine, breathing her morning breath on me as she speaks:

  ‘You’re a prick and shit in bed.’

  ‘Love, I don’t care! Now fuck off!’ I shout at her and she jumps back.

  ‘Sorry I didn’t mean to shout at you but I just don’t like you.’ She rummages around the room gathering her belongings and leaves slamming my bedroom door behind her and I lay there in silence thinking.

  All of a sudden it hits me like a bolt of lightning to the head. Shit! Chloe! Shit! What the fuck have I done? I remembered what happened and the fact I have a dead body in the garage just waiting for the police to find.

  I jump out of bed, throw on any clothes I can find and make my way downstairs to find Jamie sitting at the bottom of the stairs crying her eyes out.

  ‘You ok?’ I ask.

  ‘Do I look ok?’

  ‘No. That’s why I asked! Look, I didn’t mean the things I said to you ok? I'm just having a really tough time with things and really stressed out with some heavy shit going on in my life.’

  ‘You’re still a prick just like all the others - use and abuse. I throw myself at guys to get attention but deep down I'm just as insecure as the rest of them.’

  ‘Well for starters maybe you should stop throwing yourself at guys and have a little respect for yourself?’

  ‘Don’t give me a pep talk. You’re just as bad! It’s ok for you to fuck me and you’re a stallion but for me I get branded a slag.’ She cries again making me feel uncomfortable and not really sure what to do. I can either be a dick, throw her out of the house and concentrate on saving my arse from going to prison for murder, or comfort her and tell her everything will be ok when it won’t and lose valuable time working out what I'm going to do.

  I figure out that comforting this stranger who I don’t give a shit about is far less important than looking after myself at this moment in time and become a further prick in her estimations.

  ‘Look, I don’t mean to be rude but I really don’t what to hear about your self-pity excuses for being a slag. Can you please fuck off out of my house?’ Before I get to say another word she's out of the door and gone. I feel relieved she's gone and hopefully that’s the last I hear from her.

  I walk into the lounge to find my brother Tommy and his lady friend lying on the couch naked, spooning each other. The room stunk of sex, stale alcohol and kebab. It was vile. I leave, gently shutting the door behind me hoping I don’t wake them up as I'm sure she won’t be happy when she finds out how I just treated her friend.

  I make my way down the garden to find the garage door is locked and I don’t have the key on me. I run back up to my room, find the trousers I had on the night before, and find the key for the garage. I sit on my bed and take a breath and think about what it is I'm going to do.

  All of a sudden I hear a mobile phone ring but I don’t recognise the ringtone. I hunt round the bed to find an iPhone which isn’t mine and assume it’s Jamie’s, the girl who I've just treated like shit, and know that I will probably have to see her again. I switch off the phone. Placing it in my pocket I again make my way down to the garage.

  Opening the door was horrible so I did it slowly in hesitation as I really didn’t want to see Chloe’s dead body and there she was, lifeless, wrapped up in sheet. I can see her blonde hair poking out which really upset me. This confirms to me she's dead and now sober it really hits me what has actually happened and how much shit I'm in.

  Getting rid of a dead body just isn’t me at all. Going to prison isn’t me either. I really don’t think I'm strong minded enough to take that. I feel trapped and stuck and the thoughts of suicide wave over me again. That’s typical of me taking the easy route every time, rather than facing up to reality and taking the tough route for a change.

  I sit on a stool in the corner of the garage, staring at the heap of sheets thinking through all the various scenarios in my head. I come to the brainless conclusion that getting rid of the body is the only option, however, how I do this I do not know and have no idea where to start. I think about burning her to a crisp but that would be just far too inhumane. The other idea I come up with is to take her down to the docks, tie heavy weights to her and drop her in the deep water in the hope that she would never be found and eventually will disappear into the elements.

  Option two was the better idea, and having no other realistic options, it was pretty much the only one. Now all I have to do is work out the logistics. How will I get her into my car? How will I get her to the docks and how will I cover my tracks?

  I hear Tommy calling out for me. I jump up, run out of the garage, lock the door and again place it back in my pocket knowing this is the only key for the garage. I join Tommy in the kitchen.

  ‘Where’s Jamie?’ he asks.

  ‘She’s gone mate.’

  ‘What did you do?’ knowing I'm not the most pleasant guy at times.

  ‘Nothing. She just told me I was shit in bed so I told her to do one!’

  ‘Ok, well her sister Sam is in there wondering where she is.’

  I make my way into the lounge and sit on the couch next to Sam.

  ‘Sorry but I had to ask your sister to leave. She was rude to me and I have no idea where she's gone. She left her phone here.’

  ‘That’s ok. She's like that all the time. I wouldn’t worry; she has a strange habit of telling guys they’re shit in bed when they are actually the opposite. It’s an insecurity thing with her and no one understands it apart from her.’

  ‘Ok cool.’ I don’t really have much to say to her with all the shit I have on my mind and head back into the kitchen to make myself a cup of tea.

  ‘What you up to today Jay?’

  ‘Not much mate. Might just head to the gym and go for a drive. You?’

  ‘Not
sure. Might have a lazy day with Sam. She doesn’t seem to be in a hurry to piss off so will make the most of it, if you know what I mean,’ Tommy said winking at me.

  ‘Ha-ha! You go mate. have fun! I'm going to sort myself out and head off. Catch you later yeah?’

  ‘No worries mate. Call me ok? Don’t leave me worrying about you. I know you’re not in the best frame of mind at the moment.’

  ‘Will do.’ I make my way back up to my room and plan my next move in getting rid of this body.

  After about thirty minutes of planning things out in my head I’ve managed to come up with what I would call a fool-proof plan. Firstly I'm going try and fit the body in a large holdall I have from my old Navy years, drive my car down the back alley, place the holdall in the boot and drive to a building site I know not far from here. I will then fill any extra space in the bag up with bricks. I will then head down to the docks near Sully, park up, carry the holdall casually on my shoulder and when the coast is clear drop it into the water. I’ll hang around for a few minutes to make sure it sinks and continue with my life. Easy as that.

  ***

  Chapter 3