His hand shot out, pressing me back into my seat as he leaned forward. Stopping just inches from my face, he blew his breath softly over my lips as he spoke. “You will always be mine, Kelli. I’m not letting you go. Ever.”
A derisive snort left me. “So you want to keep me around even though I betrayed you?”
“Fucking hell, I don’t think you betrayed me now. Okay? Is that what you want to hear? Fine. I don’t believe you betrayed me. I don’t think you would have or ever will betray me.” He cupped the side of my face, his green eyes intense in the weak lights coming from the dash. “I knew it before I took you to the cabin. But I had to be sure. Don’t you understand that, baby? I had to be sure.”
I turned my face into his palm, pressing my lips to the meaty part, and then opened my mouth. He jerked back as my teeth sank into his flesh. I smirked at him as he checked to see if I’d drawn blood. I didn’t have the metallic taste in my mouth, so I knew I hadn’t gone deep enough to actually make him bleed.
“Now you’re sure.”
“Are you done now? Feel better?” He grinned as he settled back in his seat. “Did biting me help?”
I lifted a shoulder, bored with the entire conversation. “Not even close. It was just payback for the way you manhandled me at work. If we’re going, let’s go. I need to figure out where I’m sleeping tonight.”
The palm of his hand hit the steering wheel in frustration. “Goddamn it, Kelli. You’re not sleeping anywhere but with me.”
I sighed tiredly. “Look, Colt. I can see you want things to go back to the way they were before all this shit started. But I can’t. Just because you trust me, doesn’t mean I trust you.”
“What—”
“I don’t trust you not to do any of this again. I don’t trust you to put my well-being ahead of your fucking MC.” He started to interrupt, but I cut him off, my anger rising all over again. “You could have killed me. A little more of that drug and I would have OD’d. And you don’t even seem to be sorry about it. So, no, I don’t fucking trust you.”
“I wouldn’t have let you die,” he growled. “You were in no danger of that happening.”
“Oh, please!” I pushed on his shoulder, fed up with him. “If you hadn’t gotten what you wanted, when you wanted it, I would be buried out in those mountains right now. I’m not a moron, damn it.”
He grasped my wrists and pulled me across the console. I landed against his chest, the steering wheel at my back. His jaw was tight as he lowered his head and pressed his lips against mine in a punishing kiss. The kiss barely lasted a few seconds before he jerked his head back.
“No matter what you would have said, there was no way I would have let anything happen to you. I never would have harmed you. Never. Whatever happened, happened. I’m in too deep with you to have let anything hurt you.”
“Don’t you understand that you did hurt me?” I cried. “That this thing between us, whatever the hell it was, is now broken?”
He brushed my hair back from my face, his fingers caressing my cheek and jaw. “I’ll fix it,” he vowed with a quiet vehemence. “Just give me a chance.”
Chapter 9
Raven
The coolness of the breeze felt good on my skin. I inhaled deeply, smelling rain in the distance, and closed my eyes. Every muscle in my body was tense, but I couldn’t let anyone tell. I needed to be strong. For Lexa and Max. For the club.
For Bash.
As crowded as the clubhouse was, it was almost impossible to find a place to pause and just breathe. So I’d come outside in the hope of finding a few stars I could gaze at and ask the universe what the fuck it was doing to us. I’d found my solace out by the fence and parked my ass on the ground, leaning against it to support my already aching back.
The sound of gravel crunching under heavy boots had my head jerking up, ready to tear into whoever had dared bother me during my five minutes of me time after all the work I’d done all day. My gaze latched on to Bash, and my heartbeat settled into a steadier pace.
“What are you doing out here by yourself?” he asked with a dark look as he dropped down beside me.
I laid my head on his shoulder when he put a hand on my thigh. With him touching me, I was at peace for the first time all day. “I just wanted some time to decompress. Everyone is fed, and Lexa is sleeping. Max is with Rory and Matt.”
I felt his lips press against the top of my head. “It’s all going to be okay, Rave. I’ve got this.”
Closing my eyes, I kept my mouth shut. I always believed him when he said he had things under control. But for once, I couldn’t help wondering if he really did have this. Things were bad right now. Worse than I’d ever seen them in my entire life. This wasn’t like when Westcliffe revolted and Jet went to prison. People I loved were getting hurt, were dying. Fontana was out for blood, and he was getting it at the expense of innocents.
“Baby?”
“Hmm?” I muttered, pressing my forehead against his massive arm.
“Just trust me for a little longer. I’ll make them all pay.” He shifted, moving the arm I was leaning against around my shoulders and pulling me against his side. Placing my head on his chest, I listened to the soothing beat of his heart. “I’ll deal with Fontana and the rest of those motherfuckers.”
“I do trust you,” I assured him. “And I know you’ll take care of them. I’m just worried how much more blood will be spilled before then.”
He inhaled deeply and slowly released it. “I don’t know, babe. I can’t predict what their next move will be. All I can do is promise that you and the kids will be safe.”
Kissing the spot on his cut over his heart, I pushed to my feet. “Right now, you can’t promise that, Bash. Look what happened to our daughter. Last night, we could have had three bodies in the morgue if Rory hadn’t acted so quickly. I don’t want more promises. I just want this all to be over so we can actually live our lives again.”
Grasping hold of my wrists, he pulled me down onto his lap. Lifting my chin with his forefinger and thumb, he made me meet his gaze. “I’m making the promise, Raven. You and Lexa and Max will be safe. Because I’ve got this. And I’m going to end it. Soon.”
“Bash—” I started to argue, but his mouth crashed down on mine, stealing my breath and my ability to think rationally.
When he lifted his head a long while later, he was breathing just as hard as I was, but the look in his eyes broke my heart. My big, strong beast of a husband was close to the brink. Tears he refused to let fall glazed his magnetic blue eyes. I felt the slight tremor that ran through his body as he pressed his forehead against my own. “I love you, and I will do everything within my power to make sure the three of you are untouched by this shit.”
“I want to help you. Let me do something. Anything. Big or small, I don’t care. I just need to be able to help in some way.”
He brushed another kiss over my lips, this one softer, sweeter. “You staying where I know you will be safe is all you can do for me right now, baby. Please, just do that for me. I’ve got so much else to worry about right now, don’t make me stress over you too.”
I pressed my lips together, unable to promise him that. I wasn’t going to lie to him, but he didn’t need to know what I had planned for when Bubbles and I had our reunion. I knew he and Spider wanted to deal with her, but she was mine. After nearly taking Max from me, the bitch was going to pay at my own hand and no one else’s.
“Okay. I’ll stay out of your way where this is concerned,” I assured him after a moment. “Just don’t go getting yourself shot or dead. Because if I lost you, I don’t know what I would do.”
He squeezed his arms around me. “Nothing and no one would dare take me away from you, Raven. Even the devil is afraid of you, baby.”
A laugh escaped me, and I buried my face in his cut. “I really do love you.”
“I really do love you too, Rave.”
We sat like that for a long whi
le, soaking up the feel of each other, savoring a moment in time that was just ours. We didn’t let ourselves think about the events of the night before or what might happen in the coming days and weeks. My eyes became heavy, and I started to drift off, only to be jerked awake when I heard my brother calling for me.
“Raven?” Jet yelled. “Where the fuck are you?”
Groaning, I touched my lips to Bash’s neck and then pushed out of his arms. “Over here,” I called, getting to my feet.
As soon as I saw Jet’s face, I knew something was wrong. I moved so fast, Bash jumped up, following right on my heels as I met my brother halfway. “What’s wrong?” I demanded, my eyes scanning over him, looking for any possible signs of harm.
“It’s Felicity,” he bit out, his jaw clenched to hold his emotions in check. “She’s crying, and I can’t get her to stop. Can you come talk to her? Or something? Fuck, anything. Just make those sounds coming out of her stop before I start tearing this place apart.”
“Where is she?” I demanded, already running toward the clubhouse.
“In our room,” he called after me, following behind. “She’s killing me with those little sobs. I didn’t know what to do but get you.”
I sprinted through the clubhouse back to the bedrooms, trying to avoid colliding with anyone in my way. Most saw Jet and me coming and rushed to get out of our way.
“What’s wrong?” Aggie cried out.
“It’s fine,” I told her, unsure if I was lying to her or not.
I could hear Flick crying before I reached their bedroom door. Opening the door, I found my best friend lying across the bed, holding one of the pillows to her chest as she sobbed so hard her entire body shook from it. Seeing her like this, I could understand why Jet was so upset.
Flick never let go like this, which wasn’t a good thing. She kept things locked up just as much as I did, but she was more of an emotional person than me. She needed to express herself, show the world what she was feeling. Otherwise, her heart wilted and broke too easily. It was what had cost me so much time with her. Why she had run away to live with another family and none of us knew where the fuck she was for so long.
Since Tanner’s and Warden’s deaths, she had been trying to be strong. Tried to show us all that she was okay. I knew she wasn’t, but I was so busy with everything else, I hadn’t called her out on it. Now with Uncle Chaz and Uncle Jack gone too, it all seemed to have caught up with her.
Tears pricked my eyes as I stretched out on the bed beside her and pulled her head onto my chest. She jerked at the feel of cold hands on her back, but she only wrapped her arms around me, clinging to me just as tightly as she had the pillow moments before.
“Shh,” I murmured softly, kissing her brow. “It’s okay.”
“Why did they have to die, Rave?” she whispered brokenly. “Why did we have to lose them all?”
“It was just their time, babe.” I tried to comfort her, but I knew that wasn’t what she wanted to hear. I didn’t have an answer that would help, however.
“Uncle Chaz was always so good to me. And Uncle Jack… Oh God! Raven, I miss him so much already.”
I clenched my eyes shut, but not before a few tears spilled over my lashes. “Me too,” I choked out.
From the door, I heard low male voices and glanced up to find Jet and Bash standing in the doorway with Hawk now. Gracie squeezed between them and joined us on the bed. Lying down behind Flick, she wrapped her arms around the both of us, pushing her face into Flick’s back. “Me too,” she whispered.
My chilled fingers found hers and gave them a squeeze. For most of their relationship, Gracie had resented Jack. Had refused to let herself love the grandfather she felt had abandoned her mother. But in recent months, they had been closer, and I could feel the strength of their relationship growing.
Now he was gone, and I could see it was killing her. The regrets and what-ifs were agonizing, and I could feel her pain because it was my own. What if we had noticed Uncle Jack wasn’t well sooner? What if one of us had done something, made him go to the hospital earlier? Would this heart attack have been so bad?
Would he be in the hospital right now instead of the morgue?
Chapter 10
Colt
The floor was not where I wanted to spend the night, but that was exactly where Kelli put me. I was lucky to have gotten a pillow and a blanket, and I was thankful for what I could get. Even more so that she hadn’t locked me out of our bedroom.
If she had, I would have found somewhere else to sleep, probably in the hall outside the door because I didn’t trust her not to leave in the middle of the night. Fuck, I was just glad she finally gave in and came back to the clubhouse with me instead of wanting to go back to the house she rented with Quinn.
I knew she was pissed at me, but I didn’t realize just how hurt she was by what happened back at the cabin. Now I knew if I didn’t fix this with us, I was going to lose her. Just thinking about her leaving me was enough to kill me. I wasn’t letting her go, not without a fight.
A light tap on the door had my head lifting with a curse. I knew who it was and didn’t want to have to face her. Who knew what Raider told her after I left the night before. Cursing, I got to my feet and opened the door.
Quinn pushed a mug of coffee into my hands and walked into the room. Her gaze went to the bed where Kelli was stretched out across the entire mattress, then to the thin pillow and blanket on the floor where I’d spent the night.
Her lips twitched with the beginnings of a grin. “You totally deserved that,” she informed me with a shake of her pretty blond head. “Raider told me some of what happened, by the way. Not all of it, I suspect, but enough that I would completely understand if she kicked you in the balls and walked away without a look back.”
Quinn crossed to the bed as I shut the door, and she smacked a hand over Kelli’s ass through the thin sheet. “Wake up!”
Kelli groaned and pulled the extra pillow over her head. “Go away. It is way too early for your perkiness.”
“Wake up anyway,” Quinn commanded. “I’m so pissed at you right now, I might decide to pour ice water on your head if you don’t get up and talk to me.”
Muttering a curse under her breath, Kelli sat up in bed. Her dark hair was tangled around her face. One shoulder of her baggy shirt had fallen down her arm, giving me a peek at the top of one perfect tit. Grumbling, she pulled the sheet and blanket up over her and leaned back against the headboard.
“Fine,” she groused, pushing her hair back from her face and lifting her lashes to meet Quinn’s gaze. “Let’s hear it.”
“How could you just walk away last night without saying goodbye to me?” Quinn demanded, hurt making her voice wobble.
Kelli’s face pinched with confusion for a moment. She blinked her eyes then glanced from Quinn to me and back again as if she didn’t understand the words that just came out of her friend’s mouth. “Wait, what? That’s why you’re mad at me?”
“Of course that’s why I’m pissed!” Quinn grabbed one of the pillows and hit Kelli in the face with it. “We’ve been roommates and friends for a long time. I think I at least deserved a ‘See ya later,’ don’t you?”
“Just give me a sec here,” she grumbled. Her eyes landed on my mug of coffee with longing. “Can I have a drink of that?”
I handed it over wordlessly and dropped back down onto the floor, folding the pillow under my head and trying to get comfortable as I watched two of the most important people in my life closely.
Kelli took a few swallows of the strongly brewed coffee before focusing on Quinn again. “To answer your question, yes. You deserved more than a ‘See ya later,’ actually. But I didn’t think I could do that without one of us crying. And as hormonal as you are right now with the baby biker in your belly, I knew it would be you.”
“That’s true, but you still should have said it anyway.” Quinn shot me a glare. “And then you should have to
ld me what happened with this one, so I could have at least helped you kick him in the balls a few times.”
“See, this is where I’m confused,” Kelli groaned, taking another drink of coffee. Setting the mug on the side table, she shot me a lifted brow in question, but I didn’t know what to tell her. Maybe she didn’t realize it because it happened so rarely, but Quinn wasn’t always on my side. It appeared this was one of those times.
“You think I wouldn’t be on your side?” Quinn rolled her eyes, making her look ten years younger than she really was. “Please. I only got a little out of Raider last night, but I can fill in the missing pieces of the puzzle. They suspected you did something—which I’m about ninety-nine percent sure you didn’t—and Colt took you away to get the answers he needed. Whatever happened, he fucked up, and now you’re pissed.”
“Huh. Yeah, that sums it up pretty neatly,” Kelli said with a slow nod.
“So what did he do?” Quinn asked, shooting me a smirk.
Before Kelli could open her mouth, I jumped up. Grasping Quinn’s hand, I pulled her to her feet and toward the door. “Whatever happened is between me and Kelli,” I informed her, rushing her out the door. “You know all you need to for now, Quinnie.”
No way in hell did I want Kelli telling her exactly what I’d done. It was one thing for Kelli to be pissed, it was completely another for Quinn. I didn’t want my best friend to realize just how low I could stoop. She didn’t need to know what I was capable of. What I did to Kelli wasn’t even the tip of the iceberg of what I was capable of when the situation called for it.
“Smooth,” Kelli snorted as she lay back down. Grabbing one of the pillows, she pulled it over her face, leaving only her chin and mouth visible. “Don’t worry, dickhead. I won’t tell her your dirty secrets.”
“Last I checked, you enjoyed most of my dirty secrets,” I shot back as I landed on the edge of the bed and grabbed her feet.
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