“Second…” She hesitated for a moment then lifted her head and met my gaze. With the glow of the television behind her, I could just see a hint of the brightness of her beautiful blue eyes as they searched my gaze. “I want us to start trying for a baby.”
Her words were like a physical jolt to my system. We hadn’t talked about getting pregnant once, but I would have been lying if I said I hadn’t wanted to bring up the subject. The thought of upsetting her was the only thing that kept stopping me. After Westcliff made her miscarry, the doctors told her she might not ever be able to get pregnant again. That was still a possibility, and I didn’t want to push her to start trying if she wasn’t ready to face the reality of not actually getting what she wanted.
But with her now opening the door on the subject, I couldn’t give her the answer I wanted to without knowing if she was prepared for that outcome. “Felicity, will you be okay if we try and you don’t ever get pregnant?”
Her eyes filled with a sadness that tore at my soul, but I couldn’t call the words back. We needed to face this probability now and not years down the road when we had to admit defeat. Fuck, I hoped we didn’t ever have to do that, but we had to be realistic.
“Y-yes,” she whispered, a small catch in her voice. “I…I know that just saying ‘Let’s make a baby’ won’t guarantee we will actually have one. But…” She swallowed hard and gave me a brave smile, and my pride and love for her only swelled. “We can’t know unless we try, right?”
I cupped the back of her head and pulled her down to kiss her lips, long and tenderly. I ignored the throbbing in my balls as I prolonged the kiss, pouring all my love for her into every caress of my lips across hers. It was several minutes before I released her and pressed our foreheads together. “Then let’s try, love. I want to give you everything you have ever wanted, and my baby in your belly would complete my world.”
Chapter 15
Colt
After Bash and Jet got back, I stayed up all night.
Waiting.
Watching.
Around six, the boys on the wall changed out, putting fresh eyes up top, vigilant for anything even remotely suspicious. I felt restless, every nerve alive with a tension that strained every muscle. I didn’t need Jet to tell me Kelli was going to be a target. Father or not, Calvin Samson was going to come after her now that she had proven exactly whose side she was really on in this war.
From here on out, we were going to have to be even more careful. Every step Kelli made would be watched, and with half my MC brothers still on the fence about her loyalty, I wasn’t expecting to find ready help watching her back from inside the club.
As the sun came up, I was still standing there, watching and waiting for something. I knew in my bones the senator would act swiftly and without a single drop of remorse. If he could treat his own daughter like dirt up to this point, there was nothing stopping him from going a step further.
Around seven, I could hear the clubhouse coming alive, and the scents of freshly brewed coffee and breakfast meats frying filled the chilled air. Quinn came out with a few thermoses of coffee for the guys on the wall. As small as she was, and with her hair pulled up into a messy ponytail, she looked like she was barely sixteen. With that little baby bump pouched out against her leggings and T-shirt, she looked adorable.
When she saw me standing there leaning against my bike where I’d been all night, her eyes widened, but she gave me a warm smile. “Hungry?” she asked as she came over to offer me one of the mugs full of strong, black brew.
My stomach growled, answering my question for her, but I still nodded eagerly. “Starving.”
“I’ll bring you a plate,” she offered, and I wasn’t about to turn it down. “And some more coffee. You look as if you could swallow two pots and still be dog-tired. Did you sleep at all last night?”
I shrugged, not worried about my lack of sleep. There were times when I’d stayed up for days at a time on runs. I was used to going without. With Kelli now in danger, I doubted I would be getting much sleep anytime soon. “Thanks for the coffee, Quinnie.”
She sighed deeply and headed back toward the clubhouse. “I’ll be right back,” she grumbled with a shake of her blond head. “Damned men.”
I hid my grin behind my mug as I took another deep swallow.
The grin faded when I saw the front door open and Kelli walking toward her car with a black trash bag tossed over her shoulder. She didn’t even bother to look around as she headed for the car, her head down, keys already out.
Shit.
I followed after her, my long strides eating up the distance. I reached her car just as she was opening the trunk, and I noticed there were two huge suitcases, their zippers struggling against the stuffed contents, already inside. Before she could drop the trash bag on top, I slammed the trunk closed and leaned back against it as I turned to face her outraged expression.
“No,” I told her, plain and simple.
“Fuck you,” she growled. “I have to go check on my mom. I just got a text from her night nurse that they’re trying to transfer her from her private room to one of the shared ones with one of the more violent patients. Looks like dear old Dad is already trying to fuck with me.”
Hell, I hadn’t even thought about her mom. I should have, because she was what Samson held over Kelli’s head to being with. Of course, he would strike at her biggest weakness.
I tossed the rest of the contents from my mug and set it on top of the vehicle closest to us. Grabbing her keys, I walked around to the driver’s side and got in. Starting the car, I waited for her to get in, but she just stood where I’d left her, a look of confusion on her beautiful face.
Blowing out a long breath, I left the car running and walked back to meet her. She just stared up at me, as if she couldn’t understand what I was doing. Cupping the side of her face, I lowered my head and touched my lips to her brow. “Let’s go,” I murmured softly against her skin, then took her hand and guided her around to the passenger’s side. I opened the door and urged her in, then went back around to the driver’s seat.
As soon as she was in and the door was shut, I reached across her and pulled her seat belt on for her. Her brow was puckered, and she was looking at me like she didn’t recognize me. “Where am I going?” I asked as I pulled up her GPS.
“I… It’s saved under ‘Mom,’” she muttered distractedly.
I found the saved address and backed up. At the gate, I lowered the window to yell up at Brody, who was on the wall. “Hey, man. Let Bash know I don’t know how long I’ll be gone, but I’ll call him.”
Brody tipped his head in acknowledgment, and I pointed the car in the right direction. Beside me, Kelli remained quiet. I could feel her gaze on me, and every time I glanced her way, she didn’t even seem to be blinking.
I snapped my fingers in front of her face, trying to pull her out of whatever daze she was in. “Babe, hey, snap out of it.”
Her lashes lowered, and she shook her head a few times before lifting them again. “What are you doing?” she demanded, sounding pissed.
“I’m going with you to check on your mom.”
“Why?” Her voice was soft, almost weak. She turned her gaze to the front window, and I watched her throat work as she swallowed hard.
I grasped her hand and pulled it to my lips. Keeping my eyes on the road, I kissed the back of her hand then linked our fingers and kept hers trapped on my thigh. “Reason number one, your dad is a bastard, and this could be just a ploy to get you to come down to his turf and put you right where he wants you. Reason number two, because I don’t trust you to come back.” My fingers tightened around hers, and I looked away from the road long enough to meet her gaze. “And reason number three, because I care about you, and I don’t want you to have to deal with this on your own.”
“Oh…” She tried to tug her hand free, but I refused to release it. She let out a frustrated breath and gave up.
&nb
sp; The car was low on gas, so I stopped and filled up before getting on the interstate. While the gas was pumping, I went inside and grabbed us both some coffee and a few snacks. I was starving, and I knew she had to be too. I got two donuts out of the case and a muffin for her. I stocked up on chips and cookies and nuts. After snatching up a few bottles of water, I paid and got back just in time to finish up with the gas.
Tossing the two bags into Kelli’s lap, I took a deep swallow of my coffee and started the car. “Eat,” I commanded as we got on the interstate.
That got me a huff, but she still pulled out the muffin and started breaking pieces off. A few bites in and she offered me one of my donuts. I stuffed half in my mouth hungrily, making her wince at me in disgust.
“Pig,” she muttered.
“Babe, I’m starving. I haven’t eaten in forever.”
“Poor thing. Wasting away to nothing.” I could practically hear her eyes rolling, but I thought I saw a hint of a smile on her lips when I glanced her way.
I looked at her muffin before switching my gaze back to the road. “You don’t like the muffin?”
“It’s fine.”
“Want me to stop and get you something else?” I saw a sign for a few fast-food chains. “I can get you those chicken mini things you like?”
“I said I’m fine, Colt. I’m just not hungry.” She pushed the muffin back in the pastry bag and picked up her coffee. “I’m worried about Mom.”
“We’ll take care of her, babe. Don’t worry about her. It will get sorted out.”
“She gets upset if they don’t keep to her schedule or the least little thing changes about her days. It throws her off and makes bad days worse for her.” She pushed her hair back from her face, her nose scrunched up. “She can get violent when things go bad for her. She broke one nurse’s nose once because she thought they were going to steal her favorite blanket when they tried to wash it.”
My hand tightened around the wheel. “Was she violent when you were growing up? Did she ever hurt you?”
“What? No!”
“I was just wondering if she was normally the violent type, Kell.”
Her exhale contained something I rarely heard from her. It was loaded with a sadness that made my gut clench. I wanted to stop the car and pull her into my arms, but I knew she would kick my ass if I paused for even a second longer than necessary. “She was a really sweet and kind woman before she got sick. Her only fault was that she fell in love with the wrong man and became obsessed with making him happy.”
“You two were close?” With regret, I realized I didn’t know anything about her mother or their relationship. She’d never shared, but I should have asked. Should have made her tell me about her relatives.
“Sometimes. It just depended on if Calvin was in DC or not. If he was home, I was invisible. If he was gone, we were inseparable.”
I wasn’t sure how I felt about her description of her relationship with her mom. It sounded like the woman’s love was conditional. If her lover was there to take up every spare minute of her time, her daughter’s feelings and well-being didn’t matter. No wonder Kelli learned she could only ever rely on herself.
Fuck that shit.
She didn’t have to do it anymore.
I was here, and I would help her.
I would fucking take care of her for the rest of my life.
Chapter 16
Kelli
The change in the sound of the car had my eyes snapping open. Heart racing, I jerked upright, glancing around for some sign of where we were. Seeing the nursing home in front of me, I breathed a small sigh of relief. This place was massive but on beautifully kept grounds. The fence around the exterior was inconspicuous and decorative, so that occupants didn’t feel like they were in prison when they looked out their windows.
Other than the guards who walked the property to ensure patients didn’t try to jump the fence, there was no additional security aside from the code each patient’s family members got. A six-digit code that was specific to each patient to keep track of whose family came and went.
I’d fallen asleep at Colt’s urging, but I slept fitfully. Anxiety over what state I would find my mother in turned my stomach into the rough waters of the Atlantic in February. I couldn’t remember the dread I’d just had, but it felt like a premonition the likes of which left me panicking. A soul-deep sensation was telling me—fucking screaming—that something was wrong.
Calvin already knew about Bubbles. I didn’t know how he’d found out so soon, but he did. Why else would he turn his predatory eyes on Mom?
While I was still gathering my bearings, Colt was out of the car, and he came around to open my door. When he offered me his hand, I was too afraid of what I might find inside to hesitate. As I put mine in his, he gave my fingers a reassuring squeeze and guided me into the facility that had been my mother’s home for the last few years.
The receptionist at the front desk, a fortysomething petite blonde with a cheerful personality, knew me and normally would have had a smile for me. But today, she was somber, and it only made my stomach tighten. “Good morning, Miss Murdock,” she greeted.
“I was told my mother was being moved to a different room. I’d like to see her and then your administrator.” My anxiety made my voice harsher than I was going for, but when her eyes flickered with a hint of fear mixed in with her discomfort, I wasn’t sorry. “Where was she moved to?”
The woman touched her tongue to her lips nervously. “Let me inform Mrs. Newton that you’re here, ma’am. She’s been expecting you.”
She picked up the phone, and I just stood there, staring her down. She squirmed in her black rolling chair as she waited for her boss to answer. “Miss Murdock is here to see you,” she murmured demurely.
I turned away from her as she hung up and told me Mrs. Newton would be right out. I fought the urge to punch her in her pretty little nose, reminding myself that whatever was going on, it wasn’t this woman’s fault. She had no say over what happened with my mother, and besides keeping an eye on the front door so that patients didn’t try to walk out of the facility, she didn’t have any contact with them.
It was Mom’s nurses who saw her every day who would know if this room change had upset her and why it was done in the first place. But the administrator was in charge of the entire facility. It would have been under her orders that the change came about, and I was going to hold her responsible for my mother’s reaction.
Colt must have sensed how torn up I was because he wrapped his free arm around my waist, tucking me close to his chest. I felt his lips at my temple and closed my eyes. When was the last time someone tried to comfort me like this?
The sad truth was, I couldn’t remember. I knew Mom must have done it when I was a little girl, but those times were few and far between, and by the time I was ten, they stopped altogether. It was then that I started taking care of myself full time and Mom’s obsession with making Calvin happy doubled to the point that I realized love was a sickness that took over people’s minds and lives.
“Kelli.”
I stiffened at the woman using my first name. Like she knew me and we were old friends. Slowly, I turned to face her, and the look on my face must have been enough to make her change her mind. Mrs. Newton swallowed nervously but amped up her smile. That smile must have cost her a pretty penny. All those expensive veneers on her teeth didn’t impress me. Neither did the perfectly coiffed hair with the expertly applied high- and lowlights. Everything about this woman, from her head to her designer-label shoes, screamed that she enjoyed her lucrative job very, very much. “Miss Murdock, let’s talk in my office.”
I nodded, and Colt followed right behind me. Newton’s eyes widened when she saw him, her eyes taking in all the ink that was visible on his body along with the leather MC cut, and it was like the room exploded with her nervous energy. “Um, I’m not sure it would be appropriate if your…friend…was present for this conver
sation.”
“He comes,” I bit out. “He’s here more for your protection than mine. I’m not sure how much control I have over the urge to bitch-slap you right now. Trust me, you want him present.”
Behind me, Colt coughed, but I wasn’t deaf to the laugh he was trying to cover up. By the shade of red Newton’s face turned, I was sure she wasn’t either, but she made no more arguments as she guided us back to her office.
Inside, she waited for Colt to come through the door before closing it and moving around her desk. It was a large office with an elegant desk and comfortable chairs. Newton had scored big when she landed the job at this nursing home. It was the best in the state, and she killed it at Christmas time when half the patients’ families slipped her a few grand to ensure their loved ones continued to get the best treatment money could buy.
Colt waited for me to sit before taking the plush chair beside me. Newton sat up straight in her chair, her hands folded primly on top of her desk. She inhaled deeply a few times before her lips twisted and she dived into whatever she wanted to tell me.
“Senator Samson called me first thing this morning and requested Leslie be transferred to the west wing. Since he is still her legal medical power of attorney, I had no choice but to do as he requested.” My breath hitched in reaction, but Newton continued on. “As you might have suspected from your quick arrival, Leslie didn’t take the sudden change very well.”
“You fucking think?” I exploded.
This was worse than I’d originally expected it to be. The west wing was full of the less mentally competent patients. Not necessarily the dementia patients, but the ones who were seriously disturbed. Half that wing was made up of patients decades younger than the patients in any other wing. Their families couldn’t take care of them because they were too damn violent, but they couldn’t take care of themselves either, hence the nursing home.
“Where is she now?” I demanded, trying to breathe through my anger. Jumping at Newton across the desk wasn’t going to get me to my mother any quicker, so I clenched my hands into fists and reminded myself I couldn’t take care of this shit if I were behind bars.
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