by Ivy Layne
From across the table, Abigail sent me a delighted smile and said, "Thank you so much. I know it's not a great time to be out and about with everything going on with Charlie, but Cheryl was so helpful with our event last month. It was my first for The Winters Foundation, and I couldn't have done it without her. I wanted to return the favor."
Charlie closed her hand over mine and said, "We're looking forward to it. It should be fun."
From the look on her face, you'd think she'd agreed to attend her own execution. Dropping my lips to her ear, I whispered, "I can arrange for more discreet security if you'd rather go on your own."
I hated making the offer, but I had to do it. If she didn't want to go to this thing with me, I wasn't going to back her into a corner. That would just make both of us miserable.
She jerked back at my words, turning her head to look at me, her eyes wide and confused.
"What do you mean? Why would I want to go without you? I didn't think you'd want to go, and I didn't want you to feel like you had to . . ."
She trailed off.
Fucking fuck.
Charlie sounded as messed up about all of this as I was. I liked her family, and dinner was excellent, but at the moment, I wished us back at her house, naked on her futon.
Just like it was before things started to get complicated.
As the word passed through my head, I sighed.
This shit was why I didn't do complicated. Charlie and me naked made sense. Once you threw in the rest of the family, their social status, their past and mine, Charlie and I shot straight past complicated into impossible.
"Is everything set up with Sophie?" Possibly sensing the tension between Charlie and me, Maggie interrupted with a distraction. Charlie let out a breath and leaned forward to meet Maggie's eyes.
"She's moving in the day before Aunt Amelia does. I think she'll work out."
"Have you met her?" Jacob asked Aiden. Aiden nodded.
"She's certainly competent. It remains to be seen if she can keep Amelia under control."
"Isn't your Aunt Amelia in her eighties?" Abigail asked Jacob. He laughed.
"She is. But Amelia's what her generation would have called a pistol. Age may have brought her a few health problems, but she's still trouble."
Vance let out a shout of laughter and leaned forward. "Do you guys remember when she put the rubber snake in Mrs. Williamson's root vegetable basket?"
"Oh my God, I forgot about that," Charlie giggled from beside me. "I can still hear the screams."
Charlie fell into my side, body shaking with laughter. Every other Winters in the room was laughing just as hard.
Jacob, gasping for breath, said, "And then Mom saw it, and she started screaming, too."
"And when Mr. Henried came running and he told them it was a fake . . . I thought they were going to kill Aunt Amelia," Aiden went on.
"But they couldn't do anything because Dad was always her favorite and he never got mad at her. Even the time she ruined the curtains trying to make everyone think the library was haunted," Charlie finished.
"Is Mrs. Williamson going to be okay with her moving in?" Maggie asked after a quick look over her shoulder to make sure the doorway was empty. I shouldn't have been surprised the family would care what their housekeeper thought.
Aiden followed her eyes, still grinning. "I asked her if she wanted extra help, but she said that she was fine, especially with Sophie to take care of Amelia, and that she could certainly handle having more of the family back in Winters House."
"Liar," Charlie said, still giggling. "She'd never admit she doesn't like Aunt Amelia. She's too loyal. I already talked to Sophie about the pranks and asked her to help watch out for Mrs. Williamson. Sophie knows she'll have her hands full with Amelia."
"I got the impression she was looking forward to it," Maggie said. "Her last job kept her pretty isolated. She said she could do with some excitement."
"I just hope Amelia doesn't scare her off," Vance said.
"Me too." Charlie blotted her eyes with her napkin, still laughing a little.
"Are you ready for the invasion?" Jacob asked Aiden.
I didn't listen to Aiden's answer. I was too lost in Charlie, her smile wide and free, her ocean blue eyes shining with happiness and laughter. Everything about her was luminous. I liked her family, and dinner had been good, but I wanted Charlie to myself.
I checked my watch, ready for the meal to be over, when Aiden cleared his throat.
Conversation stopped.
Clearing his throat again, he lay his palms flat on the table and took a deep breath.
"I called all of you here tonight for a reason. I've already spoken with Holden and Tate before they left for their conference, but I asked them to stay quiet until I could talk to the rest of you together."
"What? What is it?" Jacob demanded.
"Gage is missing."
The silence in the room was deafening. Beside me, Charlie's breath caught in a hitch. Not caring who saw, or what they thought about it, I wrapped my arm around her and pulled her into my side. She pressed her cheek to my chest but kept her eyes on Aiden.
"What happened?" Vance asked in a thick voice.
"As you can guess, they're not sharing a lot of information. All I know is that two months ago, he left on a mission, and a few days later, he stopped reporting in. They won't tell me where it was. They waited almost a month before they let me know he was MIA."
"So they didn't give you anything," Jacob said, his eyes hard and cold.
Aiden shook his head. "Cooper is seeing what he can find out, but he's not optimistic. You know Gage couldn't talk about his work. I wasn't even sure he was still officially with the Army until they called."
"I can make some calls," I offered, surprising myself. "I've been out for a while, but I can guess that Gage and I worked for some of the same people. There's no guarantee they'll talk to me. Better odds that they won't. But I can try."
Aiden gave a grave nod. "We'd appreciate anything you can do."
I had a feeling this explained Aiden's exhaustion, the deep grooves in his face and the circles beneath his eyes. Given the way he watched over his family, Gage going missing must be killing him.
Charlie had said a few things here and there that gave me the impression Aiden and Gage were tight growing up. Until Hugh and Olivia Winters had been murdered, Gage had planned to join the company with Aiden. Before they were cold in the ground, he dropped out of college and joined the Army.
I wished I could do more, but I'd been honest with them. I had connections, and if they were willing to talk, I might be able to get some information, but that was a big if.
Gage Winters was most likely already dead, and it was possible his family would never know what had happened to him.
Tears soaked through my shirt as Charlie cried softly into my chest. I knew she hated the way Aiden tried to coddle her. At that moment, I'd never been more in sympathy with him.
I didn't want her to know about Gage. I never wanted her to hear another piece of bad news for the rest of her life.
How much more was she supposed to take? She'd lost her aunt and uncle, then her parents. She was being stalked. Now, her cousin was missing, probably dead.
Yeah, I got Aiden's urge to wrap her up and keep her safe for the rest of her life.
Her strawberry shortcake abandoned, Charlie looked ready to call it a night. I stood, taking her with me, and said to the room, "We're going to head home. I assume we'll see you all tomorrow?"
"Take care with her," Aiden said. I knew Charlie felt like shit when she didn't respond to the overprotective big brother comment.
I didn't need the warning.
Lately, taking care of Charlie was the only thing that made sense. The only thing I wanted to do.
And that scared the shit out of me.
CHAPTER TWENTY
CHARLIE
I couldn't seem to absorb Aiden's news. Gage was missing. I didn't know a lot about what Gag
e did, but he'd been a Ranger before he'd drifted into doing things for the Army he couldn't talk about, and I knew there were few people on the planet better trained than he was.
If he was missing, he was probably dead.
My heart and mind refused to accept that.
Not Gage.
Growing up, Vance had teased me, tormented me, and played with me. Jacob had pretended not to have time for me, but secretly, he doted on me, tucking me into bed when my mom was distracted with the other kids and braiding my hair in the mornings before school.
Before our parents died, Aiden had been too busy to bother with me. He'd been an adult to my child, and both he and Gage had treated me with absent affection.
I knew they loved me, they just weren't around much to show it. In my child's mind, they'd both been larger-than-life, tall and strong and smart.
Invincible.
The idea that something could happen to either of them . . . I couldn't force it to make sense.
You'd think after losing so much of my family, I would see death around every corner. I never felt that way, though. What happened to my parents, aunt and uncle had been so shocking, so outside the norm, that it had never felt as if those deaths could bleed into the rest of my life.
Since my mom and dad died, Aiden had stepped up, doing his best to take their place, his natural authority shielding me, buffering me from more loss.
Tonight, when he'd told us about Gage, I'd finally seen him.
Really seen him.
The deep line between his eyebrows. The shadows under his eyes. His cheeks looked gaunt, as if he'd lost weight. I'd never understood the cost of watching over us all, never seen how it weighed on him.
Pulling out my phone as Lucas drove us back to the Highlands, I pulled up Aiden's number in the messaging app and tapped out,
I love you
That was all I had to say.
I loved him and I was sorry he'd had to tell us about Gage. Sorry he had to carry so much on his shoulders.
I let out a sigh. Lucas had been weird when we were at Winters House. Stiff and uncomfortable. For someone who had command of every situation I'd seen him in, seeing Lucas out of step and offbeat unnerved me.
Did he dislike my family?
It's not that I thought we were perfect, but we weren't bad. We complained about each other all the time, but every family did that.
I couldn't remember anyone being rude or saying anything awkward. Except the whole thing about the benefit. I knew I should've talked to him about it earlier. I just couldn't figure out what to say.
I had no problem stripping naked for Lucas, no issues being vulnerable with him when we were in bed, but when it came to something as basic as asking him to go to a party with me, I completely folded.
Where was my courage? I never had a problem asking for what I wanted. I had issues, but low self-esteem wasn't one of them.
Had I been afraid he'd turn me down?
Stupid question.
Of course I had. We didn't date. We had sex. That was it.
Except it wasn't. It hadn't been just sex for a long time. Not since Lucas had spent the night after my stalker jumped me.
We ate together. We were living together. This last month with Lucas had been the best relationship of my life and it wasn't even a relationship.
Now, he was going to the benefit with me, but I wasn't sure if he was going as my date or as my bodyguard. Had he hesitated because he didn't want to go? Because he didn't want to lead me on?
Or was he mad I hadn't asked him myself?
You could talk to him, my good sense suggested.
Or I could avoid the subject and hope it worked itself out.
While I knew option number two was stupid and immature, it was my first choice.
Maybe if I talked to Lucas about all of this, we'd discover that we both really liked being together and were willing to take the risk and turn this into something more.
Or he'd give me a pitying look and explain that he'd been clear with me since the beginning, we were just having fun, and he should've known better than to expect me to handle it like an adult.
I could see that conversation way too clearly, hear it play out in my head.
I wasn't going there.
I wasn't ready yet.
I didn't think I'd ever be ready for Lucas to dump me.
Eventually, we'd catch Hayward in the act, this would all be over, and Lucas would leave.
I wasn't ready now, and I wouldn't be ready then.
We pulled into Lucas's driveway and he parked his truck. I couldn't help a quick glance at the front of my house. The graffiti was gone, hastily covered with a few coats of primer. Lucas or Aiden had taken care of it, and I was grateful.
It wasn't the words spray-painted on the house so much as the aggressive violence of the act itself, the gleeful destruction of something I loved. Now it was erased, the porch light was on, and all was quiet.
After all the time I'd spent wondering why Lucas never asked me to his house, I would've thought I'd be more excited to move in with him.
I wasn't. I wanted everything to go back to the way it was. Staying with Lucas wasn't a progression in our relationship. I wasn't there because he'd decided to let me in.
It was a Band-Aid.
A quick fix.
Just a way to keep me safe.
I didn't intend to speak, but I heard myself say, "If you don't want me to stay in your house, we can always go to a hotel or something."
Lucas went still. His eyes landed on my face, one eyebrow raised. I couldn't decide if he was confused or annoyed.
"What the fuck are you talking about?"
Wishing I'd never said a thing, I shrugged helplessly and said, "Well, I mean, I've never even been inside your house until today. It seemed pretty clear you wanted to keep that distance, and that's okay. I get it. So I'm just saying if you're not good with it, we can go stay somewhere else."
The words spilled out of me, pushing through my defenses, leaving me cold and vulnerable.
Afraid he would see all of the hope I'd been storing in my heart, I refused to meet his eyes.
Finally, he said, "It's fine, don't worry about it. It's not a big deal."
I let out a breath I hadn't realized I was holding. Not exactly the enthusiastic response I was looking for.
This is why we weren't having that conversation about our relationship. Lucas was smart. Lucas was hella smart. He could play at being a dumb guy, but I knew better.
He was well aware he'd never let me across the property line, much less inside his house. We both knew the only reason was because he thought I was in danger.
He didn't really want me there. If I had any pride, I'd go right back to Winters House by myself and let this thing end.
Curiously, I found I had very little pride when it came to Lucas Jackson.
I let Lucas shepherd me into the house, aware he was scanning our surroundings with sharp eyes, his first thought keeping me safe.
I waited for him to shut and lock the door behind us. The second he turned to face me, I jumped him.
I was tired of thinking. After the news about Gage and the weirdness about the benefit and staying in his house, I was done thinking about my feelings, tired of obsessing about my fears and hopes.
I was done thinking at all. I just wanted to feel good.
Lucas had my heart turned inside out, but he was always reliable when it came to my body.
It didn't take much. My hands pulling his face down to mine, my lips against his, his tongue sliding into my mouth.
He caught me as I jumped, closing his hands over my ass, supporting my weight as I wrapped my legs around his waist.
I didn't notice anything about his house as he carried me down the hallway to his bedroom. Everything inside me was focused on Lucas.
I kissed him with frantic desperation, trying to memorize his taste, his smell, the feel of his skin under my fingertips. Ever since we'd argued at the de
alership that morning, I'd had the sense things were slipping away, sliding out of my control.
I was losing something I didn't even have. I didn't know how to save it, how to get it back. I only knew that the heart of it was Lucas and I wanted him. I wanted to absorb everything Lucas, to memorize him so I'd have something to remember when he was gone.
He dropped me onto his bed. I tore at his T-shirt. Yanking it over his head, I smoothed my palms down his chest, sinking my nails into his shoulders as I pulled him down on top of me.
I was already working on the button of his pants when he unsnapped mine and shoved them down over my hips.
I wanted us naked.
I wanted nothing between Lucas and me.
I needed him.
All of him.
My knees splayed wide, so wide the stretch of it almost hurt as he settled between them, the head of his cock at the gate of my pussy.
I was ready and wet, my body soft and eager for him. I was always ready for Lucas. I always wanted him. I thought maybe I always would.
Feeling the way he sank inside me, the way he filled me, I couldn't imagine ever wanting to stop.
I clamped my knees to his sides, angling my hips up to take more. Lucas and I had sex almost every way we could—fast and hard, slow and sensual, against a wall, on the floor. I loved it all. Lucas had patience. Even when he was in the mood for fast, he was under control.
Not this time. I had a heartbeat of time to adjust to the sweet stretch of his cock inside me before he thrust his hips hard, filling me, fucking me fast. Just over the edge of rough, he slammed into me over and over, grinding into my clit, driving me higher until I was panting beneath him.
I held onto his shoulders, pleasure blanking out my brain. The first orgasm was a slap, taking me under in a tsunami of bliss that hit out of nowhere. Lucas didn't stop, didn't even slow down.
Blinded by sensation, I reached up to kiss him. At the touch of my lips, he went wild, claiming my mouth in a kiss as rough as his fucking. Low growling sounds rumbled in his chest, the possession of his lips and his loss of control sending me flying over the edge again.
He stiffened in my arms and came with a low shout.
"Charlie. Fuck, Charlie."