Jamie,
We don’t need to know you to know that we love you.
Love, your other Dad & Mom
“I guess we don’t need to ask who sent these,” Robert says as he tucks the card back into the small envelope.
“We’re really able to move forward, aren’t we?” I ask, bouncing Gracie on my hip.
“It looks like it. Maybe our life is finally going to come together.”
I work at the shop and Robert is next door with the guys setting up the boxing ring. It’s nice to know he’s right next door, and I still have my space. Mom and Margie came in earlier and took Gracie shopping. She is getting big and is outgrowing her clothes.
While Dove and Bethany watch the shop, I walk over to see how everything is coming with the guys. As I walk in, two guys are walking out. The boxing ring takes up a lot of the space and the room no longer echoes when I talk.
“Who was that?” I ask, walking further into the room.
“Some guys wanting to sign up for classes,” Robert says, leaning in to kiss me.
“Already? The sign does say, ‘Coming Soon.’”
“They were disappointed when I told them it won’t be open for another five months.”
“Maybe you need to have a signup board or something. This might be just the beginning of a rush. You never know,” I say.
I hear a loud noise coming from the back room. “What is that?” I walk in the direction of the noise and Robert follows.
“Leah, it’s nothing.”
I hear another crashing sound. “It sounds like the building’s caving in.”
“Not the building, just a wall,” Robert says.
I walk into the empty room and Dad and Walter are hitting the wall with a hammer. “What are you guys doing?” I ask.
“Robert wants access to Jo’s cinnamon buns,” Dad laughs.
I look at Robert and he is also laughing. “Today? It can’t wait until the weekend?”
“No time is better than the present,” Walter says, smacking the hammer into the wall.
“We’re through,” Walter says, waving at the smoke of drywall dust.
Dad coughs.
“You can’t do this today. I have customers and work, and I don’t like the dust,” I say, waving at the cloud of smoky drywall dust.
“Okay, good point,” Robert agrees. “We’ll resume this project on Sunday.”
“Thank you.” I walk back over to the shop and today it’s my turn to read for story time. The kids gather on the floor and I sit on the small wooden kid-sized chair. Since I have been thinking about Madison, I chose to read her favorite book: Giraffes Can’t Dance by Giles Andreae. I read the name and show the kids the book cover.
The bell over the door rings and I look to see who it is. I smile and suddenly become nervous when Chelsea walks in with Madison and Caden. I give them a slight wave, and I wait for them to sit down before I begin.
I say, “I was going to read this book today because it reminded me of someone.” I take a deep breath and say, “Madison, would you like to be the guest reader today?”
Madison beams with excitement. She looks at Chelsea, and Chelsea nods her approval to her. As Madison makes her way to me, I say, “Madison read this book to me a while ago and she read it as if she wrote it. So, it is with great pleasure that Madison reads it to you guys today.”
I smile and hand the book to Madison. “Thank you,” I say, bending down to whisper to her.
I move to the back of the room and watch as Madison begins to read. My heart overflows with pride. Dove looks at me and I signal for her to call Robert. She does. I listen to Madison read and my cheeks begin to hurt from smiling so much.
Someone stands beside me and I don’t want to look away from Madison. I smell sweat, dirt, and testosterone. I know it’s Dad, Tim, Gus, and Robert. I quickly look at Robert and lean into him. This is our daughter reading in my shop. I sniffle and fight back the tears of joy. I see the flash from someone’s camera; Dad and Tim are taking pictures. Shoot, I didn’t think of that. I don’t have my phone. Robert hands me his phone so I take a few pictures.
When Madison is done, I walk to the front of the room where she is sitting. Someone asks, “Is this the same Madison that your shop is named after?”
I debate on what to say. These are my customers who are also my friends. I look at Chelsea and she nods. I smile and wrap my arm around Madison’s shoulder and say, “It is. This is our daughter Madison.”
I was almost waiting on a bunch of questions to be asked that I didn’t know how or didn’t want to answer. Surprisingly, none came. People greeted her warmly before leaving the store or continuing to shop for more books. I have learned that if you display the book you read at story time, people buy them. Several of the patrons rush over to the display table to get their copy.
I look at Dad and Walter, who are smiling at Madison. It dawns on me that they haven’t met her yet. We walk over to a quieter corner of the shop and I introduce them to her. I can see in their eyes they want to pick her up and smother her with kisses and love, but they don’t. They talk softly and gingerly to her.
Mom and Margie come into the shop with Gracie. They see Madison and their eyes dance with happiness. Dad and Walter didn’t scare her off with affection, but I can’t be sure Mom and Margie will be so courteous.
Robert looks at Mom and Margie and says, “Uh, oh, I think Madison may be in trouble.” I look at them and they look like salivating dogs after a Beggin Strip. “Should we try to cut them off and tell Madison to make a run for it?” he asks.
I laugh. “That’s a thought. I’m not sure which will scare her more. To run or to stay and get lapped up by grandmas she doesn’t know she has.”
Mom and Margie walk up to me and hand me Gracie. Too late now. “Is that her? Is that our granddaughter?” Mom asks, staring at Madison.
“It is.” Dad and Walter are still sitting on the couch, talking to her. I don’t think they even noticed their wives are standing ten feet from them. Caden and Chelsea are sitting on the other couch; the two couches face other. Chelsea is reading to him, but I know she is listening to what is going on around her. She is probably regretting coming in here today.
“Mom and Sue,” Robert begins to say, but they are already walking away from us towards the couch where Madison is.
I look at Gracie and she smiles and squeals at me. I kiss her and say, “You wanna see the show, too?” She squeals again and kicks. I turn her around so she can see her grandmothers in action.
I hold Robert’s hand and we watch as they make their way on the couch with Madison. Chelsea stops reading and looks at the interaction between the grandparents and her daughter, our daughter. They speak softly to her and then they each hug her. I lean into Robert and cry. Margie places both of her hands on Madison’s face and looks at her like she is trying to put her face to memory. I wanna do that. I want to get that close to her and touch her. I also know I need to be patient and wait. The time will come for me to do that.
Robert whispers in my ear and says, “The only thing we’re missing is Jamie.”
He’s right. If she were here, everything would be perfect.
Before Chelsea, Madison, and Caden leave, we set up a time for us to get together. Once we close up my shop, we walk over and look at Robert’s place. “It’s coming together, Ace. Good for you.”
“In five months this place will smell like sweat and testosterone,” he smiles proudly.
“You don’t think that smell will leak through the walls into my shop, do you?” Just the thought of it makes me nauseated.
He laughs. “I wish the smell of your shop would leak through the walls into my business. I wouldn’t mind smelling Jo’s cinnamon buns all day, every day.”
Robert
Every day that we are in the new training center, someone stops in, wanting to sign up. I really didn’t think we would get much interest in it. Maybe Leah is right about having a signup board — a first-come, first-s
erve kind of thing. Interest may drop off closer to us opening in May. I’m sure people will find other training centers to go to by then.
Leah mentioned that we should have a grand opening. She’s the smart one in this family. I’ll leave the planning to her for that. I’m planning on kicking Kennedy’s ass quickly on May 1st, then being here working the next day. I do know that this probably isn’t likely, even if I do win. I hate to admit it, but I’m almost sure I’ll be a little banged up, maybe even a lot banged up. I don’t tell Leah this; she doesn’t need to worry about that.
Leah and I decided to have Chelsea, Drake, Caden, and Madison at the house for dinner tonight. I think it’s only fair that they know where Madison will be spending her time. I don’t want them to have to worry about how we live or the conditions we live in. Hopefully, this will ease their minds some. It will also give them an opportunity to see how Jamie lived, and to see how much we loved her and still do.
We didn’t invite the grandparents; we just wanted it to be us.
They pull up, and I’m happy to see that Madison doesn’t look as frightened this time. Drake checks out the exterior of the house, as I knew he would. Leah and I greet them on the porch as they make their way up the sidewalk. I’m amazed that Leah and Chelsea get along so well. They hug, and Drake and I shake hands. I ruffle Caden’s hair and I want to embrace Madison, but I don’t. I’m still afraid of doing something to frighten her. She walks past me and tilts her head up to look at me. I look down at her and she smiles as she walks past. Yeah, she likes me.
Leah has the food in the oven and has some of Jamie’s photo albums and favorite mementoes scattered around the coffee table.
We walk them through the house and show them Jamie’s room first. Chelsea and Drake enter her room carefully. Their eyes scan the walls, bedding, and then the floor. Chelsea cries and Drake holds her. She looks at the coloring pages on the wall that Leah had framed before Jamie’s death. Next, they focus on the family pictures.
“That was taken the morning of the accident,” I say about the picture she is holding.
Drake nods, “She looks happy.”
“She was.” I rock Gracie back and forth in my arms.
Madison and Caden stand in the doorway with us. I think they can sense this is something important. Chelsea picks up the books on the nightstand and touches them softly. Leah walks in and opens her closet. Chelsea walks in that direction and Leah shows her Jamie’s baptism outfit, her newborn outfit she came home from the hospital in, and some other sentimental items.
Next, we show them Madison’s room. I kiss Gracie and hand her to Leah before turning on the light. Madison walks in and looks around. Caden is right behind her.
“This is your room, Madison,” I say.
“I have my own room?” she asks.
Leah walks in and kneels down so they are at eye level. “It is. When we found out you were our daughter, we knew one day you would need your own room. We hope you like it. We also have some things in the closet for you.”
“You do?”
I walk in and open the closet for her. She stares up at me as she walks past. She smiles. I bend down and pick her up so she can get a better view of what is in the closet. She wraps her tiny arms around my neck. She doesn’t say anything and neither do I. At least she isn’t screaming. I walk further into the closet so she can see the clothes hanging up for her. She slowly fingers through them and picks up a pink hoodie. I back out of the closet and set her back down on the floor.
“May I wear this?”
“It’s yours. You can wear whatever you want.”
Leah removes the tags and helps her to slip it on. Perfect fit. “Thank you.” Madison runs her small hand up and down her arm, feeling the soft fabric of the jacket. She walks around the room and sits on the bed. Caden joins her. She looks at the books on the nightstand and smiles.
“Look, Madison, it’s your favorite book,” Caden says, excitedly.
Madison picks up the stack of books and hands some to Caden. While the kids sit on the bed and read, the adults walk away and sit in the living room.
Drake mentions that he has an early meeting at the schoolboard tomorrow.
“Do you work for the public schools?” Leah asks.
“I volunteer my time there, and I’m also on the board of education,” he says, leaning back into his chair.
“Is there a problem with the meals at the school?” Leah blurts out.
Drake looks confused.
“What Leah means is, is there a problem with providing free meals for indigent families at the schools?”
Drake sits up and says, “All of the schools offer free breakfasts to everyone, and if you’re not in a school that offers free lunches, then you need to qualify for free or reduced-priced lunchtime meals.”
“Are there students who are waiting for the approval for free lunches who can’t afford to pay for their current meal while they wait?” I ask.
“Yes, I’m sure there are. I know the lunch arrears is high in this county.”
Leah looks at me and says, “What would it take for someone to pay the arrears for the students?”
Drake thinks for a moment and says, “You want to pay the arrears for all the kids in the county schools?”
I clear my throat and say, “We would like to make sure every child at every school never misses a meal.”
“If that means paying the arrears and having money in a lunch bank for children with future needs, then yes,” Leah adds.
Chelsea looks at Drake and says, “You mean, sometimes children can’t eat at school because they don’t have the money?”
“They eat.” Drake clarifies. “They get a supplemental lunch.”
“Of peanut butter sandwiches and water,” Leah says in a tone that I don’t usually hear from her.
“Oh, Drake. That’s ridiculous,” Chelsea says.
“In Drake’s defense, he doesn’t make the rules. Leah and I would like to get this taken care of and paid for as soon as possible.”
Leah says, “It would be nice that when the kids return from Christmas break that they all have a zero balance on their books and food in their bellies.”
“It’ll make an excellent Christmas gift for them. Plus, it’s an easy way to raise the test scores of the students. Hungry kids can’t concentrate.”
Chelsea looks at Drake and smiles. Drake looks at me, then at Leah, then at me again and says, “Chelsea and I would like to contribute. We haven’t chosen an organization yet for the Secret Santa this year so this will be nice, and it’s a great cause.”
Chelsea reaches over and holds Drake’s hand. “Thank you,” she whispers.
“I’ll bring it up at the school board meeting tomorrow and hopefully we’ll have some numbers later in the day.”
“Sounds good, thank you. Maybe together we can make a difference.”
Drake and Chelsea look through Jamie’s things while Leah and I finish making dinner.
After dinner, we put Gracie to bed and the kids return to Madison’s room. Caden returns a short time later with the board game Chutes and Ladders. Without asking, Leah stands and sets the game up on the dining room table. I cut the homemade apple pie and we have dessert and milk while playing Chutes and Ladders with the kids. Chelsea and Drake stay at a distance. I know they want us to bond with Madison, and I also know they need time to get to know Jamie and mourn her at the same time.
“You don’t have a Christmas tree?” Madison asks.
Christmas is still three weeks away. When Jamie was alive, we used to put the tree up early so she could enjoy it. But since her death, we don’t really celebrate Christmas with all of the trimmings.
Leah’s eyes go to the large picture window where the tree used to set.
“No, not yet,” Leah says.
“You need a tree so Santa can bring you presents,” Caden declares. “We put our tree up early. Mommy likes the white twinkling lights,” he adds.
“I can help you som
etime if you want,” Madison offers.
Leah says, “Thank you, that would be nice. We usually have cookies and hot chocolate while we put it up.”
“Do you watch Christmas shows, too?”
Not since Jamie’s death, but we’ll have a Christmas movie marathon if that’s what you want.
“What Christmas movies do you like?” I ask.
“All of them,” Caden and Madison say in unison. They both look at each other and giggle.
“Well, the next time you both come over, we’ll have to decorate the house and put up the Christmas tree,” Leah says, smiling at each of the kids.
“Yay,” they both say.
We finish our dessert and put the game away before they leave. We also agree on an overnight stay with both kids for next Saturday.
I am sleeping better than I have since before Jamie’s death. Something about spending time with Madison has put my mind at rest. For the first time in three years, it’s beginning to feel like Christmas. There’s just something about Christmas time with small children that makes it magical.
I dress and go for my morning run. The song “Eye of the Tiger” blasts through my earbuds. For the first time, I notice all of the Christmas lights and decorations in people’s yards. I didn’t notice this yesterday. Were these up yesterday? I do my usual run and stop by to see Jamie. The gate is locked, so I look in through the metal bars at her gravesite. I notice several Christmas wreaths, holiday grave blankets, and other holiday items on other graves. I make a mental note to get Jamie something special.
When I get home, a stack of boxes is by the door. Leah is playing Christmas music low on the surround sound and Gracie is dressed in a red, white, and green dress. She is also wearing a holiday bow in her hair.
“You’re late,” Leah says from the kitchen. I don’t see her, but I hear her voice.
I walk over and look at Gracie in her baby swing. I want to pick her up, but I need a shower first. Leah would not be happy with me holding the baby right now. “I took the long way home,” I lie. I look at my watch and I’m early. “Spring cleaning?” I joke. She stands up holding the KitchenAid mixer she retrieved from the bottom shelf. She hasn’t used that since before Jamie died. “Baking?”
One Last Fight Page 10