I hold the door open wide for them to come in. “Merry Christmas,” Leah says as she hugs them.
“Merry Christmas,” Mom and Dad say in unison.
“What did you make?” I ask, closing the door behind me.
“Grandma’s Christmas potato, cheese, and onion casserole,” Mom says. “Merry Christmas, Miss Gracie. Did Grandma and Grandpa keep you waiting?” Mom says, using a child’s voice while speaking.
“No, we’re still waiting on the others,” Leah says.
“Good morning and Merry Christmas, Madison and Caden,” Mom says. Dad is standing beside Mom. He reaches out and takes Gracie from Leah. Gracie squeals with excitement. She is happy to see them.
“Merry Christmas,” they both say.
I hear a car door open and see Tim and Sue getting out of the car.
“I’m going to put this casserole in the oven,” Mom says as she walks towards the kitchen.
Sue is also carrying a casserole dish, and Tim is in the back of the pickup truck, trying to remove a very large gift. “I’ll go and help him,” I say.
“I’ll come with you. It looks heavy,” Dad laughs. Tim seems like he is struggling with the gift. Dad kisses Gracie and hands her back to Leah.
“Merry Christmas, Sue,” I lean in and kiss her as I pass her on the porch.
“Merry Christmas, Robert and Walter,” she says. “I told him to leave that overly large gift at home, but he wouldn’t listen.”
“We’ll help him with it,” I say, laughing.
“What is it, a dishwasher?” Walter jokes.
“God only knows what’s in the box. I asked for an engagement ring for Christmas this year. After thirty years of marriage, I figure I deserve it,” Sue says, walking into the house. “I do need a new dishwasher,” she admits.
I don’t think that’s an engagement ring. I don’t say it, but I think it. Walter and I walk down to help Tim. He already has the massive gift out of the truck. It’s wrapped in red Santa paper with a big red bow on top.
“I don’t think washing machines, dryers, or dishwashers are appropriate gifts for your wife for Christmas.”
I can only hope he didn’t get her a dishwasher, even if she does need one.
“I’m happy to see my son-in-law learned that early on.”
Tim tries to maneuver the box but has a difficult time doing it. He says, “This isn’t as heavy as it is awkward.”
“Really? Because it looks heavy as hell,” Walter says.
We both watch as Tim wraps his arms around the gift and lifts it up off the ground.
“Maybe not,” Walter says. “What can we do?”
“I have to make it look heavier than it is. Robert, can you get the dolly out of the garage and we can use that. If it looks like work, Sue won’t offer to help,” Tim says, smiling.
I have to smile, too. Although it wasn’t nice, it was funny and untrue, I’m sure. I get the dolly and we all three act like we are lifting something hefty. “What’s the point of all of this?” I ask.
“I don’t want Sue to know what I got her.”
I think about what he says and it makes no sense. I thought that was the reason why you wrap a gift, so the person doesn’t see what it is. I don’t say anything. I don’t think it’ll do any good. As we get the lightweight, ginormous box in the house, Chelsea, Drake, and Steve pull up.
Caden and Madison are still sitting near the tree, looking for their names on the gifts. Leah and I greet Chelsea, Drake, and Steve on the porch. “I’m sorry. We stopped by and got some breakfast for everyone,” Chelsea says, holding up the store-bought donuts. “I didn’t have anything at home to bring. I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine, thank you,” Leah says.
“Are Caden and Madison upset they had to wait?” Drake asks.
“I don’t think so. They’re still looking at the gifts, trying to see which ones are theirs,” I say. “Come on in. We have coffee already made.”
Once everyone gets coffee, I turn on the video camera in the corner of the room. We all gather around the tree and Sue offers to play Santa Claus this year. She wears a red Santa’s hat and sits nearest to the tree. The kids wait anxiously as she begins to call out the names on the gifts. Leah sets Gracie between her legs to help support her in a sitting position. Gracie bats at the gifts with her hands and kicks and squeals. She likes the red and white Christmas paper and bows.
Madison and Caden sit patiently as they collect the gifts that are handed to them. Leah and Chelsea sit close to the kids. Drake and I sit back with the grandparents and observe. Although I am videotaping everything, we all are taking pictures. I want to be sitting right next to Madison with Leah, but I stand and watch from a distance instead.
When the last gift is handed out, the kids start to open their presents. Gracie just kicks and squeals. Leah opens her gifts for her and Gracie plays with the paper instead of the presents. Each time Leah opens a gift, she places the bow that was on the present on top of Gracie’s head. Soon, Gracie has red, gold, green, and white bows all over her head. Everyone laughs and takes pictures.
When Madison opens a doll and has a hard time removing it from the box, I sit on the floor and help her. I know this is usually Drake’s job, but this year it’s mine. When I remove it and hand it to her, she smiles. She looks at me like I’m her hero.
“Thank you,” she says in her angelic voice.
I just want to tell her I love her and there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for her. “You’re welcome,” is all I say. A day will come when I can freely hug her and tell her how much I love her, and it won’t come soon enough.
Caden needs help opening a dump truck, and soon Drake is also sitting on the floor with us. The clothes aren’t such a hit with Caden, but Madison loves them, even the socks. Leah got her a pink boa and a purple tea set. Madison sets up the tea set and insists we all have tea with her. Madison wears her boa and Caden refuses to participate. He plays with his dump truck close to the tea set, and Drake clears his throat and shakes his head. He knows Caden was thinking of running over and ruining Madison’s mock tea party. Caden stops and plays in another direction. I’m surprised to see Drake drinking imaginary tea from the purple plastic teacup. He looks at me and smiles. I raise my cup to him for a toast. He clinks his cup to mine, but it sounds like more of a clunk. We smile. He also knows this is the good life.
Tim stands up and announces he got Sue a much-deserved gift. She laughs and stands up. “I did ask for a new dishwasher, but I didn’t mean for you to bring it here and I didn’t mean to get it for Christmas.”
“I hope you didn’t think I would just hook it up and place a big red bow on it.”
“Hoping is more like it. If I have to wash one more dish by hand, I’m leaving them for you to do.”
Tim laughs. “Are you going to stand there and run your mouth all day, or are you going to open your present?”
She walks to the overly large gift that is sitting near the tree because it’s too big to fit under it. “Why on earth would you bring the dishwasher here, just so you have to take it back home, is beyond me.”
I have no idea what is in that box, but I do know it’s not a dishwasher. Tim just stands there and laughs at Sue’s feistiness. Must be why they have been married for so long. I can see a lot of Sue in Leah, and I hope Gracie also inherits some of that sassiness. I think it’s cute and fun. It will also help keep a man in line.
The kids play, but all the adults watch Sue. She touches the box to remove the paper and bow and it moves with ease. She looks surprised. She touches it again and it moves even more. She looks at Tim and gives the box a big shove. The box skids on the floor. She laughs. “That’s not a dishwasher.”
“I didn’t say it was,” he says with his arms crossed.
“No, I guess you didn’t. If it’s not a dishwasher, then what is it?”
“Mom, just open it. I want to see what it is, too.”
Leah stands up and holds Gracie, who looks like a Christma
s gift herself. Some of her bows fell off of her head and some are just barely hanging on. She shakes her head, and I think they are starting to bother her.
Sue removes the bow and the wrapping paper, revealing a dishwasher box. She laughs. “Please tell me you didn’t buy an empty box.”
Tim just smiles with his arms crossed. He nods towards the gift to silently tell her to open it. She opens the box and inside is filled with green Styrofoam peanut fillers. She starts to carefully take them out of the box to not to make a mess. After several attempts and not getting anywhere, she shakes the box to see if anything jiggles or moves. When it looks like she’s getting upset, Tim shakes his head and says, “It’s taped to the bottom.”
We all watch as Sue dives head first into the Styrofoam-filled cardboard box. After what feels like several minutes, she climbs out of it holding a small velvet box. “I got it,” she yells, waving the box with excitement.
“Whatcha got there, Suzie?” Tim asks as he saunters over to where she is.
“I got a box,” she says, looking at the box more closely. No one says anything. This feels like it’s an intimate moment.
“What kind of box is it?” Tim asks as he watches her closely.
You can see the moment she realizes she is holding a jewelry box. “Tim?” she says slowly and carefully.
“Suzie?” he says in a tone to seductive tone to match hers.
“Is this what I think it is?”
“I have no idea, but there is only one way of finding out.” He takes the box from her and opens it slowly. “I’m sorry I didn’t have the money to get you one when we got engaged. And I’m even sorrier it took me so long to get you one now.” He removes a large, solitaire, diamond engagement ring and slips it on her finger and says, “I love you more now than I ever dreamed I could, and I am thrilled that you married me so many years ago. Please accept this ring as a token of my love and as an apology for taking so long.”
Sue cries and wipes her eyes with her right hand. “I will accept it, I do forgive you, and I will always love you.”
Margie, Leah, and even Chelsea are sniffling. Sue’s surgery is first thing tomorrow morning, and I wonder whether Tim is afraid he will never get another chance to give her a ring. They kiss and he holds her close.
Leah
I watch as Dad holds Mom. I know she has been wanting an engagement ring since before Robert and I got engaged. This means a lot to her.
The timer on the oven goes off, and I hand Gracie to Margie. Robert and I excuse ourselves to check on the food.
Robert and I set the food on the breakfast bar next to the paper Christmas plates and napkins. Drake says the prayer, and I take Gracie to her room and feed her before her morning nap. I hear laughter coming from the family room.
I think back on the morning, Mom’s surgery and treatment, and Robert’s upcoming fight. So much is happening in my life right now. I want to focus on the good and the positives, but there are still so many negatives that can happen. I look at my sleeping baby in my arms and know that whatever happens, I’ll be all right. This little tiny baby will get me through.
I kiss Gracie and remove the last bow barely stuck to her soft hair, before laying her down. I close her bedroom door as I exit. The baby monitor in the family room will alert me when she wakes up. When I join everyone in the other room, they are all sitting around, talking and playing with the kids. Robert is in the kitchen leaning against the bar engaging in conversation with Steve and Drake. He looks up at me and asks, “Hungry, Sweets?”
“I am.”
He turns the microwave on and I sit down on the only empty bar stool. After a few seconds he removes two plates of warm food. He waited to eat breakfast with me. I should have known Robert wouldn’t eat without me.
He adds a donut and hands me a plate and a glass of orange juice. I’m surprised to see a bacon, potato, and egg casserole, a cheesy hash brown casserole, and a donut on the plate. Robert stands on the other side of the bar to eat. We eat in silence as we listen to the conversation going on around us.
After Robert and I eat, we both leave the dishes and the mess for later. This is Christmas and we have Madison for only a short time. I’m happy to see Mom so happy. She’s still showing everyone her new engagement ring. Dad is standing close by.
“Do you want to play a game with the kids before they go home?” Robert asks.
“I don’t want them to leave,” I say, sadly.
“I don’t either, but we don’t have a choice.”
“I know.”
Robert says, “Let’s make the best of the time we have left with them.”
I follow Robert to the tree and we sit on the floor as he searches the opened gifts for a game.
“Do you want to have a tea party, Leah?” Madison asks.
“I sure do,” I say, honestly.
“Can we use real food this time?” Madison asks as she throws her boa around her neck and over her shoulder.
I think about it and I wonder what foods girls use for tea parties. “Madison, we sure can. I think we have some Christmas cookies left, if Santa didn’t eat them all.”
“I forgot about the milk and cookies we left out for Santa,” Madison says. Madison and Caden run to the table to look at the plate of Christmas cookies they left out for Santa. They are very excited to see that Santa ate all of the cookies. Good job, Ace.
I set the tea set out on the table and pour some milk into the teapot while Chelsea gets the platter of Christmas cookies. The kids might get a sugar buzz, but at least they will not be bouncing around from drinking caffeinated tea. I think that maybe next time I’ll bake mini-mini-cupcakes in tiny ketchup cups like those at some fast-food restaurants.
All of the women sit at the table and have a tea party while the guys play the game Operation. I make a mental note that Operation will be a game for Robert and Caden to play. The buzzing sounds are a little too annoying for me. They guys all laugh and Caden is holding his belly from laughing so hard. It makes me smile.
Madison pours the milk into the small plastic cups and Mom passes out cookies for everyone. The iced sugar cookies are larger than the small purple plastic plates. Mom winces and changes hands she is carrying the cookie platter with. I am reminded of her surgery scheduled for in the morning. Not that I needed reminding. I frown and look at Margie, who is also frowning. She must have also saw Mom grimace. She looks up at me and gives me a sad smile.
After a couple hours of playing, tea parties, and picture taking, Madison, Caden, Steve, Chelsea, and Drake leave. The kids take some of their gifts and decide to leave some at the house for when they return.
Mom, Margie, and I make dinner while the guys watch ESPN with Gracie. Mom says, “I’ve decided to have both breasts removed tomorrow.”
This is news to me. “I had no idea they would remove a perfectly fine breast.”
“They do for prophylactic reasons. Tim and I talked it over, and we think it would be best.”
I dry my hands and sit down on the bar stool. I feel like this is almost a moment of mourning. Can you mourn a body part?
“It’s okay, Leah, they’re just breasts. If in one year, I’m cancer free and can watch my grandchildren grow up, this will all be worth it.”
I know she believes it and she is right. It’s a small price to pay. “I know, but what will you do for …”
“Fun and games?” Mom smiles. “They offered me breast implants.” Mom is now laughing.
Margie adjusts her bra and says, “Are you getting them? You know, you’ll have the perkiest tits in our age group.”
Mom and Margie laugh. I have no idea if Margie is serious or is trying to lighten the mood. My mom’s perky breasts are two things I don’t want to think about. Their laughter is contagious. Soon we are all laughing so hard and Margie places her hands under both of her breasts, lifts them, and says, “I want some, too. I remember when these things used to stand up all by themselves.”
Breasts age. If your breasts are
large enough and you live long enough, they will race to see which one first reaches your waist. Enjoy them while you can. Carpe diem. Carpe pectus. Seize the day. Seize the breast.
I wipe the tears from my eyes from laughing so hard. I’m glad this is something we can joke about today. Tomorrow will be another story.
“What are you guys laughing about?” Walter asks as he walks into the kitchen, carrying a very happy Gracie.
“Sue and her perky tits,” Margie says.
“Oh, Lord. I had to ask,” he says, walking out of the room.
“What’s so funny?” Dad asks as he walks into the room, almost bumping into Walter leaving. Robert is right behind him.
“Don’t ask,” Walter says.
“Sue’s getting perky boobs, and I want some, too.”
Dad smiles and winks at Mom. I can feel Robert looking at me, but I can’t look away from Mom and Dad. “Are you really going to get implants after your mastectomy?” I thought this was all a joke, but now I’m not so sure. I remember reading that they can insert them right after surgery.
Dad walks over to Mom, and Robert walks over to me. Walter is still standing in the doorway holding Gracie. I think he is keeping his distance in case he needs to leave the room in a hurry. I’m sure he doesn’t want to hear about Mom’s boobs, or the lack thereof.
“Well, to be honest, it is an option. If we decide we want them, we can get them. But we haven’t decided that is the best route to go.” Mom looks at Dad and says, “Surgery first, then chemo, and then we’ll decide what kind of artificial breasts will work best for us. Until we decide, I’ll wear the bra padding they recommend.”
I can respect that. While the ham is cooking, we all go to the cemetery to visit with Jamie. Every year we each take Jamie something and leave it there for her. The first year, after her death, we left her wrapped gifts. A few days later, when we returned, it had rained and it looked like someone littered on her grave. The paper was wet and stuck on the ground. Now, we just leave Jamie an opened item: something that water or the sun can’t ruin so quickly.
We get to the cemetery and find a piece of paper anchored at the base of the tombstone by a ceramic angel.
One Last Fight Page 15