by Cait Marie
Unlike everything else, Kaley’s room felt homier. It had a four-poster bed in the center of one wall, a large TV hung above the dresser, and a Mac desktop sat on a clean white desk, but the rest was not too different from Lila’s room. Clothes and books littered the bed and floor. A fuzzy green blanket sat tossed over the desk chair.
Lila trailed a hand over the softness as Kaley moved to the dresser. She pulled out a pink bikini and turned around. “Here, this should fit.”
After a slight hesitation, Lila took it. She changed in the attached bathroom that was bigger than her own closet and bathroom combined. When she came back out, Kaley smiled. “Perfect.”
Lila moved to the tall mirror in the corner. Crossing her arms over her stomach, she shook her head. “I don’t know.”
Kaley appeared in the reflection beside her. “You look great.”
The soft pink fabric was far more revealing than Lila was used to. She liked her t-shirts and wore cardigans most of the year. Kaley linked their arms together and all but dragged her back outside.
Everyone sat where they’d left them, talking and laughing. Gavin told some story with wild hand motions as they walked up to the group. His eyes landed on Lila, and he stopped mid-sentence, hands still in the air.
Kaley chuckled and whispered, “Told you.”
She left Lila standing before Gavin and stepped up into the hot tub. Lila felt a blush creeping up her cheeks. The music played on while the others began talking again. She tucked a piece of hair back before wrapping her arms around herself.
Dylan raised a hand in front of Gavin’s face. To his credit, Gavin shoved him away and cleared his throat. His normal nonchalance slid back in place as he stripped off his t-shirt and kicked his shoes out of the way. Lila looked around, avoiding his gaze.
“Ready?” he asked, holding out a hand.
With a deep breath, she took it. He squeezed her fingers gently before running toward the pool. Together, they jumped into the heated water. Lila stayed under, letting the calm quietness consume her. Beneath the water, the rest of the world was cut off. There wasn’t a dwindling timeline. She didn’t feel the deep regret of missing out from so much the last few years.
Kicking to the surface, Lila broke through, gasping for air. She wiped excess water from her face and pushed her hair back. Blinking past the chlorine, she found Gavin grinning at her.
The difficulty breathing had nothing to do with staying underwater so long or the chilly night air. He moved closer, but she swam over to the edge of the pool. She felt eyes boring into them as he cornered her.
“Gavin,” she said. “Thank you for this.”
“Of course.” He placed a hand on the ledge beside her head. “I told you, Weston, we’ll get everything on this list checked off.”
The more private parts of her list—the parts she hadn’t wanted anyone to see—came to mind. She hoped he hadn’t remembered all the details, but his heated, pointed look told her he was thinking of them too. The tension overwhelmed her, and she tried to duck out of the conversation.
His hand found her waist, holding her in place. “Wait, please.”
She stilled. She needed to change the subject. Anything to break the heat of the moment. “Kaley can see us.”
Gavin’s brow scrunched. “What? So?”
“I’ve seen you two.” She felt silly having to say it out loud, but it did the trick. Gavin let go and put some space between them. Lila continued, “She’s always smiling at you and getting close to you at work.”
He laughed at that. “We work in an ice cream shop. There’s not exactly a lot of room to spread out. Besides, that’s what people do; they smile at each other when they’re not trying so hard to hate the other person.”
“Not like that.”
His lips pinched, as if fighting a smile. He seemed to consider his words a moment before moving back in toward her. “Kaley and I are friends. Just friends.”
Lila caught herself letting out a relieved sigh. She leaned in, struggling with the urge to pull him closer. His words about trying so hard to hate someone floated back to her. She had spent the last seven years hating Gavin. How could she suddenly feel like he was the only person in her world? Like they were alone in the universe and nothing else mattered? She wanted to push him away, to go back to fighting. At least then it wouldn’t be so hard in the end.
Lila’s Summer Bucket List
Sleep under the stars
Attend a party
Get a tattoo
Use fake ID to sing karaoke in a bar
Stand under the lights on the football field
Go on a date
Sneak out of the house
Visit the baby goat farm
Go to Chicago
Midnight swim
Spend a day in bed watching movies
Stay up to watch the sunrise
Be kissed in the rain
Run through the halls of the high school
Conquer a fear
Paintball
Try something new
Dye hair pink
Sneak into movie theater
Climb water tower
8
Friday
A bell chimed as Gavin pushed open the door. He looked around, hoping he wasn’t too late. It had surprised him to find Lila took the afternoon off. Even more so when he got a text about checking the next thing off the list without him. He had told his mom he needed to go look for her, and she let him. Kaley learned fast, and the two of them could handle the Scoop without him. A fact they repeated many times as his mom removed him and Lila completely from the schedule for the weekend.
Their conversation played on a loop from the night before. He couldn’t get the image of Lila’s jealousy out of his mind. Something shifted in that pool. Something major. He needed more time to really talk with her and finally get answers.
A few people sat in groups around the small, bright lobby. Along the far wall, Lila looked through an album at a tall table, her feet swinging in the air as they dangled from the chair. It made her look too young and innocent to be there. He thought of her in the bright pink bikini—much more vibrant than her hair—and how self-conscious she seemed. It broke his heart to think she didn’t know how beautiful she looked. How beautiful she always looked.
“Weston,” Gavin hissed when he got close. She glanced up with wide eyes and a grin that took the planned lecture from his lips. She sat almost eye level with him in the tall chair.
“You came!” She placed the book on the table beside her.
“Of course, I came.” He had to give her credit for at least picking somewhere clean. The room was cold, sterile. She had to be freezing in her tank top and shorts. “How are you even going to do this? You’re not eighteen.”
She nodded toward the glass case at the front that doubled as a desk. “My mom dropped me off and signed the papers on her way to meet my dad for lunch. I had to practically beg her to leave me, but I’m all set—just waiting on my guy to be ready.”
Gavin pushed a hand through his hair. “Do you know what you’re getting?”
At that, her eyes lit up, and her smile turned mischievous. “It’s a surprise.”
He sighed and shook his head just as someone stepped out and called her name. She slid off her chair but froze. After their moment last night, he easily draped an arm around her shoulders, tucking her into his side. “Are you sure about this?”
Lila nodded. Gavin brushed his lips against her temple before thinking better of it. The corner of her mouth lifted, and they walked toward the man indicating they needed to follow him. He led them down a wide hallway. Open rooms lined both sides with dozens of framed photos on the walls between the doors. The walls didn’t quite reach the ceiling, and music drifted from somewhere above them.
They went to a small room near the back. Lila stopped in the doorway, staring at the chair in the center of the space. The man—Dax—sat on a short stool, looking up at them.
“Ready?�
�� he asked.
Gavin squeezed Lila’s shoulders when she didn’t answer. She finally whispered a “yes,” then she sat on the edge of the chair. Dax turned on the stool, holding out a paper with a design Gavin could faintly see through the back.
Her face lit up in a brilliant smile. “I love it.”
“All right, I’ll put the stencil on so you can make sure you like the placement, then we can get started,” Dax explained.
He turned back around to pull out his supplies, and Lila leaned forward. Gripping the hem of her shirt, she pulled it up over her head. Gavin looked away, mumbling about waiting out in the lobby, but she reached out and grabbed his hand.
“Stay?”
He met her eyes. Swallowing, he nodded and moved to her side. Dax swiveled back around and reclined her chair before having her raise her right arm. He pushed the edge of her sports bra up slightly and cleaned her smooth skin. After he dried the area, he peeled the black cursive words surrounded by flowers from the paper and carefully placed it against her side. He smoothed it out, taking time to ensure it was straight and even.
“Okay,” Dax said, pointing to a mirror on the wall beside Gavin. “Check it out and let me know what you think.”
Lila stood and turned to the side. She looked up at Gavin in the reflection. “What do you think?”
She turned more, so her bare side faced him. A blush spread across her cheeks, neck, and chest as he took her in. Reaching out, he brushed his thumb along her ribs beneath the design. He chewed on the inside of his cheek to keep from smiling. They had known each other their entire lives. Hell, there were photos somewhere of them taking baths together as toddlers. But the room heated despite the cool air, and the tension from the night before settled between them once more.
“It’s perfect,” he managed to whisper.
Lila bit her bottom lip as she bounced on the balls of her feet. “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” she squealed quietly while taking a seat.
Dax chuckled under his breath as he pulled the small table of supplies over. He asked if she was ready again, showed her the noise of the tattoo gun, then asked her to lie back. She did as she was told, lifting her arm.
The buzzing began, and when she winced at the first touch, Gavin grabbed the hand above her head. She closed her eyes and steadied her breathing. When the wording was done, Dax let her take a short break. He raised a hand-held mirror to show the progress. She smiled, and a tear rolled down her cheek. Gavin brushed it away as Dax put the mirror back.
The yellow flowers with purple swirls took longer than expected for something so small. Dax was meticulous with the details, and Gavin was once again grateful she chose that place. Lila’s breath caught as the needle reached a sensitive area along her ribs. Gavin squeezed her hand and leaned in close.
“Almost done.” His breath stirred her hair. When she tilted her head to lie against him, he whispered, “You’re almost done, Princess.”
“Stop touching it.” Gavin laughed from where he sat on the edge of Lila’s bed.
She stuck her tongue out at him in the mirror. A dream is a wish your heart makes was a permanent part of her for the rest of her life. Her fingers trailed along the redness surrounding the tattoo. She glanced up to find him watching her with that look of longing she caught a glimpse of in the shop.
Clearing her throat caught his attention. She laughed as he tried to look away nonchalantly. Before she could do anything, recognition filled his eyes as he read the papers on her bedside table. Like the flip of a switch, the atmosphere changed.
“What is this, Weston?” Gavin asked, holding up a packet of stapled papers.
She didn’t have to look closer to know it was her online course information for the fall. Printing it out made her feel better about her decision—like she was still going to college like everyone else.
Pulling the bottom of her shirt back down, she moved to lean against her desk. “My class information.”
“Yes, I can read.” He sighed and sat it back on her table before standing. “I mean why are you taking online courses through some random school in another state?”
She didn’t say anything. She couldn’t meet his gaze.
“Lila.” His soft tone made her look up. Genuine concern filled his eyes. “What about Bennu?”
“I’m not going.”
“Why not?” He moved to stand beside her in front of the open window. The warm sun did nothing to dispel the chill she felt, and she crossed her arms over her chest.
“Because I’m not.”
“That’s not an answer.” When she shrugged, he continued, “Lila, I’ve known you for almost eighteen years. You’ve wanted to study music at Bennu since you were four.”
She pushed away from the desk to put some distance between them. “You don’t know me anymore, Gavin. You haven’t known me for a long time.”
He raised his hands out to the side and yelled, “And whose fault is that?”
“You’ve done nothing but torment me since we were eleven.”
“Because you shut me out!”
They had moved closer to one another in their shouting. He stood only a few inches away, looking down at her. That close, she could see the specks of green in his eyes. She swallowed past the lump in her throat. “You seriously don’t remember?”
“Remember what?”
The volume of their voices had drastically lowered. She slowly shook her head and took a step back.
“Why aren’t you going to Bennu?” he repeated.
“Music is no longer the plan.”
“Is this about money? Did you not get in?”
She sighed. “I didn’t apply.”
“What? Why? Until last week, you meticulously planned every minute of your life. Bennu—music—was always the plan.”
“Yeah, well, things happen.” She wanted the conversation to end. The decision was difficult enough without him drilling her about it. “Plans change.”
“Not yours.” He turned and walked to the door.
“Where are you going? I thought we were checking another thing off the list.”
Gavin paused with a hand on the doorknob. “You know, Lila, we may not have gotten along the past seven years, but we never lied to each other.”
Before she could say a word, he was gone. As his footsteps sounded on the stairs, she finally let the tears fall.
Lila’s Summer Bucket List
Sleep under the stars
Attend a party
Get a tattoo
Use fake ID to sing karaoke in a bar
Stand under the lights on the football field
Go on a date
Sneak out of the house
Visit the baby goat farm
Go to Chicago
Midnight swim
Spend a day in bed watching movies
Stay up to watch the sunrise
Be kissed in the rain
Run through the halls of the high school
Conquer a fear
Paintball
Try something new
Dye hair pink
Sneak into movie theater
Climb water tower
9
Saturday
“Dude, you need to relax.” Dylan tossed a baseball up in the air, caught it, and threw it again. He’d laid on Gavin’s floor for nearly an hour repeating the motion.
Gavin shoved a hand through his hair. He sat on his bed with his laptop, clicking from page to page. In one tab he had up the school he’d seen on Lila’s papers. In the four others, he had maps and blogs open as he searched for things to do in Chicago.
“I just don’t understand why she lied.” He thought of her reaction to Kaley talking about her college plans throughout the week. Every time, Lila blanched at the topic, but he assumed it was nerves.
Dylan missed the ball, and it thumped against the carpet. He sat up to see Gavin. “She didn’t exactly lie. You weren’t friends before this week.”
“Something just d
oesn’t feel right.” A thought occurred to him. “Why does she need to finish the list in two weeks if she’s not leaving for school?”
He knew he probably shouldn’t have told Dylan about the bucket list, especially after seeing her reaction at the pool party, but he needed help with some of the items. He’d told Dylan the night he found it anyway.
“Maybe she has a job lined up or something.” Dylan’s suggestion made sense, but it still didn’t feel right. He couldn’t imagine her leaving the Scoop, let alone dropping her dream school for a random job.
Gavin pushed his laptop to the side. He stood, moving to change, and Dylan took his spot.
“So, you’re still taking her to Chicago, even though you’re mad at her?”
Gavin didn’t answer. Instead, he pulled a new shirt and jeans on before slipping into his tennis shoes.
“What do you have planned?” Dylan asked.
“Now that I have a fake ID for her, I’m going to get us in somewhere and check a couple things off at once.” Gavin checked his bag for the IDs one more time. He picked it up and turned around, looking for anything he might have missed.
“And her parents are okay with you two staying in a hotel?” Dylan grinned as he shut the laptop.
Gavin sighed and pointed to the door. As they walked downstairs, he said, “Her parents trust me. Besides, Lila hated me until a few days ago, remember? They’re not exactly concerned about us jumping into bed together.”
“Are you finally going to tell her how you feel?”
“No, he’s not.” Gavin’s mom came around the corner as they reached the bottom of the stairs. “This is not a romantic getaway. He will not be using this time to confess he’s been in love with the girl next door his whole life.”
“Mom!”
“If you hurt that girl or do anything to make her parents want to hurt you,” she said, patting him on the cheek, “I won’t stop them.”