by Cait Marie
He wrapped his arms around her middle, lifting her off the ground and spinning in a circle. She screamed again as they tumbled to the ground, him shifting to break her fall. He landed on his back with her sprawled out on top of him—her back against his chest. As she squirmed out of his hold enough to roll over, his thoughts went back to lying in her bed earlier. His throat constricted, and he lifted a hand to her cheek. She met him halfway, kissing him like no one else stood around the field.
Shouts and whistles went up. Dylan yelled something about getting back to the game. Without looking or letting go of Lila, Gavin felt around for the football. His fingers brushed the hard leather, and he tossed it out to the field. Someone laughed, but they left them alone.
When Lila finally broke the kiss, her ragged breath matched his. As did her goofy grin. She stood, wiping her hands on her pants to rid them of the dew from the grass. Gavin slowly got to his feet beside her. Lila crossed her arms, jumping on her toes to try and shake the chill from the air. He pulled his sweatshirt off and tugged it over her head. Her sweet laughter as her hands popped through the sleeves made his pulse quicken. He helped pull her long hair out then clasped his hands behind her back.
“Would it be too cliché to just go make out under the bleachers and ignore them all?” he asked, watching the deep shade of red return to her cheeks. She glanced up, and his breath caught. The love in her gaze was palpable. He quickly captured her mouth in another kiss, backing her up against the field goal post.
Her hands slid up his chest. His fingers twisted through her hair, tilting her head to a better angle. She moaned, and he nearly lost all control. He wanted nothing more than to leave their friends behind and find some privacy.
With reluctance, he pulled back just enough to lean his forehead against hers. They needed to slow down. He brushed a thumb along her swollen bottom lip. The corner of her mouth lifted momentarily, but then it fell, and she stepped away. She raked a hand through her hair, looking to the sky. Gavin could see the pain and agony in her eyes—in the way she held herself.
“I’m scared,” she whispered.
His entire heart shattered. He pulled her back into his arms, hugging her to his chest.
“Gavin, we can’t do this.” Her words struck him to the core.
“Lila—”
“No.” She gently pushed away, shaking her head. “I know I said I wanted this and that we should see past the fear, but I can’t do this to you.”
“It’s going to be okay.”
“You don’t know that.” She backed away farther. “I have to go.”
Each step took a piece of him with her. The tone and sadness in her eyes told him she was serious about leaving, and he let out a frustrated groan. “What if you remember? What then? You might be pushing me away for nothing.”
“The chance of me forgetting is high. And even if I do remember, you’ll be gone in August.”
He clenched his fists at his sides, unsure of how to argue. Why couldn’t she see that it didn’t matter? “Maslair isn’t that far.”
“It’s far enough,” she said, crossing her arms.
He shook his head in disbelief. “It’s barely an hour away.”
He glanced at their friends. A few still tossed the ball around. A couple sat on the bleachers talking. Kaley looked over with concern. Their raised voices must have drawn her attention.
“Why now?” he asked in a quieter tone. “You’ve known I was leaving. Nothing has changed. We can—”
“Everything has changed!” The lights from high above reflected off the tears rolling down her cheeks. “I…”
He knew she wouldn’t say it. Just as he knew she wouldn’t listen to reason at that moment. She let her fear take control. He tried anyway, finishing with what he assumed she couldn’t say. “I love you, Lila. Please don’t do this.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered before walking away, hugging herself. He watched as Kaley met her halfway. She nodded after Lila said something and then headed toward the parking lot with her. When they reached the fence, Kaley shot a sympathetic look his way.
Confusion warred with grief inside, and Gavin slumped against the football post. Everything was going so well. He didn’t understand her abrupt mood change.
The pain he worked to prepare himself for in the following weeks came too early. He doubled over with hands braced on his knees. The atmosphere around the field changed. Distantly, he could hear his friends and knew they’d stopped to watch the commotion.
A pair of dark tennis shoes stopped in front of him. “What happened?”
He stood upright to see his best friend. “I don’t know.”
“Just give her time. It’ll—”
“We don’t have time,” he interrupted Dylan.
Gavin stormed off. He ran to his car, slamming the door once inside. Smacking the steering wheel, he yelled at the world. It wasn’t fair. None of it was fair.
By the time he got home, Lila’s room had a dim light on upstairs. He watched as she went to pull the curtains closed. Their eyes met, and she looked as if she was in just as much pain as him. She shook her head slowly and drew the curtains. When her light turned off, plunging him into darkness, he finally went inside to make a plan.
He had one last chance to make it right.
Lila’s Summer Bucket List
Sleep under the stars
Attend a party
Get a tattoo
Use fake ID to sing karaoke in a bar
Stand under the lights on the football field
Go on a date ❤️
Sneak out of the house
Visit the baby goat farm
Go to Chicago
Midnight swim
Spend a day in bed watching movies
Stay up to watch the sunrise
❤️ Be kissed in the rain
Run through the halls of the high school
Conquer a fear
Paintball
Try something new
Dye hair pink
Sneak into movie theater
Climb water tower
20
Saturday
“I don’t want to go.” Lila pulled the blanket up around her, hoping her dad would leave her to mope in bed.
Instead, he sat beside her. “I know you’re mad at him, but you need to go to this party.”
“Dad, I’m not mad at him. I just… I can’t do this.”
“Why? What happened?”
“I don’t want to hurt him.” Lila hugged a soft pink pillow to her chest as she stared at the ceiling. In barely a whisper, she added, “He told me he loves me.”
Her dad put a hand over hers. “Sweetheart, he’s always loved you.”
Lila’s mouth dropped open. “You knew?”
“Of course, I knew.”
“Why didn’t you tell me? All this time—”
“Would you have believed me?” her dad interrupted. When Lila looked down at the pillow in her lap, he continued, “I know it’s scary, but he’s not going to just disappear forever. He’s a part of your life, whether you like it or not. Susie and I have been best friends our entire lives. They’re still going to live next door, and he’s going to be around.”
Lila hadn’t truly considered that. An idea began to form in her mind. “I don’t want to forget any memories of him. What if I lose it all?”
“Then you make new ones.” Her dad smiled and stood. “Going to a party is on your list, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, but—”
“Nope, that means you have to go,” he said. “I promise you’ll have a good time. Please, just trust me.”
Lila stared at her dad. For someone who seemed angry when she was with Gavin, he was awfully insistent. With a nod, she agreed. Her dad clapped his hands once then moved out to the hall. He came back with a gift bag.
“An early birthday present,” he told her as he held it out.
Lila smiled and pulled lilac fabric out. She stood, unfolding it. The tall mirror
in the corner showed her reflection as she held the dress up to herself. Her dad wrapped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed. “Come on, let’s go have some fun.”
Lila saw the tears glistening in her father’s eyes. She turned and hugged him. “Thank you. It’s perfect. Did you or Mom pick it out?”
She meant it to be teasing, but her dad pushed her back gently. “It’s not from us.”
“Then who…?”
At her dad’s grin, Lila realized she already knew the answer.
Gavin’s feet kicked up sand as he continued to pace. He ran a hand through his hair—he had done it so many times in the past hour he was sure it stuck up in a wild mess.
“Dude, you need to chill,” Dylan said, grabbing him by the arms. “She’ll be here.”
“What if she’s not?” Another thought hit him. “What if she’s sick?”
“Gavin, stop. She’s fine. Her parents said they would get her here.”
“I know, but…” His words trailed off as a flash of purple caught his eye. He whispered, “She’s here.”
Dylan let go and turned to stand next to him. He said something, but Gavin couldn’t hear him. All of his attention was on Lila as she strode toward them. Her shy smile made his stomach flip. Her parents stopped near his mom at the top of the hill, where she served ice cream from the Scoop’s supplies, and all three watched in awe.
“Hi,” Lila said when she reached him. Dylan smacked him on the shoulder and left them alone.
“Hi,” Gavin replied. “You came.”
“My dad made me.”
Gavin’s smile fell, but then he noticed her biting her lip. He laughed and reached for her. As he wrapped his arms around her, he whispered, “You’re such a brat.”
Her head rested on his shoulder. When he felt her slightly shake with laughter, he kissed the top of her hair and squeezed her tight. He didn’t know where they stood. But despite it being his graduation party, that night was about her creating memories and checking off some of the last things on her bucket list.
“Ready to have some fun?” he asked, pulling away and grabbing her phone to take pictures.
She rolled her eyes. “I guess.”
21
Saturday
For over an hour, Gavin dragged her around as he talked to different people. They were all from their high school—it seemed like their entire graduating class showed up for his party. Just as he said they would have for hers had they joined forces. Some even had their families with them. With the Scoop sitting on the hill above, the lake’s beach always had visitors, but she’d never seen so many people there at once.
Music played from the speakers set up all around. Different foods and snacks covered a handful of tables, and coolers sat everywhere full of drinks. Gavin talked about college with a couple others who were also heading off to Maslair in the fall, and Lila stood quietly by his side.
“What about you, Lila?” Kyle asked.
Being addressed surprised her. Especially by him. “I’m taking online business classes for now.”
“Yep,” Kaley said. “She’s got some really awesome plans.”
Gavin looked at Lila. “Oh?”
“Um…” She crossed her arms over her stomach. “I want to help expand the Scoop. It’s doing really well, and I have a lot of ideas. I just don’t know the best way to make them happen.”
“That’s great,” Kyle said.
The conversation went back to the others. She saw Gavin smiling at her, but she refused to look at him. Her stomach fluttered too much from the heat in his gaze. The only person who’d known why she wanted a business degree besides her parents and Mrs. Miller was Beth Ann. Lila had only told Kaley about it the night before.
Lila brushed a piece of hair back behind her ear, trying to hide the need to rub the side of her head. The dull pain had returned, and it grew worse since arriving.
“You okay?” Gavin whispered in her ear.
She nodded but knew he saw through the lie.
“Excuse us,” he said to the others before steering her to a nearby picnic table in the grassy area surrounding the sand, grabbing a couple water bottles on the way.
They sat in the shade of a large umbrella, and she was grateful he picked a table off to the side away from most of the people and noise. Her parents watched from a distance, but Gavin held a hand up to them, waving that he’d take care of her before cracking open a water.
“Here, drink this,” he said, handing it to Lila. “Why didn’t you say something? If you need to rest—”
“I’m fine, Gavin. The headache is just getting a little worse.” She took a drink of the refreshing water.
“Have you eaten today?”
She laughed, nearly choking. At his raised brow, she said, “Not since breakfast. I have a normal headache?”
“Come on, let’s get you some food,” he said, shaking his head with a grin. “Then, you can tell me more about these plans you have for my family’s business.”
She let out a soft laugh and agreed. As they reached one of the food tables, a familiar voice called out Lila’s name. She turned around and screamed as Beth Ann nearly tackled her in a hug.
“Surprise!”
“What are you doing here?” Lila asked when they separated.
“I couldn’t miss the best party of the year,” her friend said.
A pair of arms slid around Beth Ann’s waist, and her feet left the ground as Dylan lifted her. “You know that’s right.”
“I’m so happy you’re here,” Lila said when he sat her back down. She hesitated, not knowing where to start. Dylan nodded, and she noticed the sadness in Beth Ann’s features. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.”
Beth Ann hugged her once more. “I understand why you didn’t.” She leaned back but held onto Lila’s hands. “Just promise to keep me updated. And no more secrets!”
Gavin moved up beside Lila holding two plates, each with a cheeseburger and chips. “Bethy, you made it!”
He gave her an awkward, one-armed hug while balancing the plates. The four of them sat at a table to eat, and Beth Ann told them all about her apartment and the excitement of New York. Lila’s eyes burned as she thought, This is what high school should have been like.
Beneath the table, as if he could sense her thoughts, Gavin entwined their fingers. Her focus shifted to keep her breathing steady.
“Lila.” Beth Ann snapped a finger in front of her face.
She shook her head slightly. “Sorry, what?”
Her friend gave her an amused look. “I asked where you got the new dress.”
Lila cleared her throat. “It was an early birthday present.”
Gavin’s thumb rubbed circles over hers, and she bit the corner of her mouth to keep from grinning.
“Well, I love it. It reminds me of Tangled,” Beth Ann said.
“Me too,” Lila agreed, this time smiling wide as she looked over at Gavin. “It’s perfect.”
As Beth Ann and Dylan talked about the trip he was already planning, Gavin asked Lila quietly, “Are you feeling better?”
She nodded and leaned into him. “Thank you.”
“Time to dance,” Beth Ann said as an upbeat song filled the air.
Many of their classmates danced in the sand near the edge of the water. Others splashed around in the shallows. Gavin threw their empty plates away, and they joined in. Beth Ann grabbed Lila’s hands and pulled her in a circle. She waved their arms in the air to the beat.
Lila spun around, stumbling. Strong hands caught her by the waist before pulling her close. She placed her hands on Gavin’s chest as they swayed back and forth. Sliding her arms around his center, she laid her head on his shoulders. His hands crossed behind her back.
“It’s time,” Dylan shouted over the music.
Lila stepped back and saw Beth Ann staring at her and Gavin. She shrugged, making her friend laugh. As Beth Ann walked by them, she said something that sounded like another “about time.”
Gavin took Lila’s hand and pulled her toward the far end of the beach. Her parents stopped them when they reached the edge of the crowd. Lila’s mom hugged her then looked down with a smile at her hand still linked with Gavin’s. She tucked a red strand behind Lila’s ear. “Be happy, sweetheart.”
Lila hugged her mom again then watched in amazement as her dad clapped Gavin on the shoulder. Mrs. Miller waited by a small rowboat lingering in the shallow water a few yards away. She put a hand on either side of Lila’s face and kissed her forehead. When she straightened, she looked at Gavin and nodded.
“Thanks, Mom,” he said, giving her a quick hug before leading Lila to the boat.
He stepped in gracefully, the boat barely rocking, then turned to face her. Her chest tightened. Her lungs refused to take a breath. Gavin held out a hand and asked, “Do you trust me?”
At that, Lila laughed. “Yes.”
She put her hand in his outstretched palm and let him help her into the boat. She sat down, self-consciously pulling at the hem of her dress. Their parents approached and pushed the boat out into the deeper water so that it could fully float above the sand, and Gavin began rowing.
“Are you going to tell me what this is all about?” Lila asked.
“You needed a decent view.”
“For what?” Then his words hit her. She looked down at the dress and back at him. He stopped rowing as they neared the center of the lake. “Gavin, what did you do?”
“You’ll see.” His smile was contagious.
“More fireworks?” she asked.
Gavin laughed. He locked the oars in place and took her hand again. It felt so natural, like they’d held hands their entire lives. She looked around, trying to figure out what was about to happen. The dress fit perfectly. She looked like a princess in it, which was the point.
“You look beautiful,” he told her. Her cheeks turned red, and she gave him a shy smile. He decided his new mission in life was to get her to look like that as often as possible. It was so much better than her angry, embarrassed face.