by Harley Stone
“Not too fast, though,” Carly cautioned.
“We have life jackets and I was in the Navy, babe. You worry too much. Trust me. I won’t let anything bad happen to you or Trent.” I might be a fuckup, but I would never put them in danger.
“Please, Mom? I wanna go fast.”
The look she gave me didn’t exactly project trust, but she didn’t argue. Her trust issues were proving to be the tallest hurdle I’d ever encountered. If she would just open up, I would protect them off the water, too.
Carly took a deep breath and put her paddle in the water. “Okay, let’s do this.”
We hauled ass on that kayak.
At first, Trent looked a little worried at the speed in which we raced over the waves. Then he started laughing and hooting, making Carly do the same. It felt fucking amazing to watch them both relax and have fun. I kept at it until my arms and chest screamed at me to take a break. Slowing down the pace to a resting recovery, we drifted over the water, circling around to head back toward the boat launch.
“How do you even know which way to go?” Carly asked.
“The sun. The angle of the land. Again, Navy, babe. I used to be a ship mechanic.”
“You went on ships?” Trent asked, gaping at me in disbelief.
“Yep. Giant ships carrying lots of sailors.”
“That is so cool. I want to go on a giant ship.”
“Have you taken him to the USS Turner Joy?” I asked Carly.
“I don’t know what that is.”
“It’s an old destroyer that they turned into a museum. It’s in Bremerton. We should take the ferry out next weekend and see it.”
Carly’s eyes clouded over as she looked away. “I work weekends.”
“Where?” I asked, remembering that she’d been working when she came to pick up Trent the day he got in trouble.
“The bar.”
That was a bullshit excuse. “You work nights at the bar. The museum’s only open during the day.”
“Please, Mom?” Trent asked, turning his pleading eyes on her.
“I don’t know if that’s such a good idea. Let’s just enjoy today and see what happens.”
I didn’t want to enjoy today and see what happened. I wanted to plan shit with them, so I knew we’d be going out again. All three of us were having fun, so why the fuck was she shutting me down?
We paddled slowly in silence. The warmth of the sun and the rocking of the kayak proved to be too much for Trent and his eyelids began to droop. He sagged to the side. Moments later, his eyes popped open and he straightened before doing it all again. The little man couldn’t fight sleep much longer, so I gently took his paddle from him and helped him settle in and get comfortable.
“I’m not sleepy,” he said, his eyelids drooping again.
“I get it, T-man. Just rest your eyes for a minute.”
“You won’t leave?” he asked.
“We’re on the water, buddy. Where would I go?”
“Promise you won’t go before I wake up?”
This kid’s trust issues rivaled his mom’s. Wondering what the fuck had happened to these two, I said, “Yeah, buddy, I promise.”
“Don’t forget,” he said, closing his eyes.
When I looked up, Carly was watching me, her expression guarded.
With Trent knocked out, it was time to finally get some answers from her. Starting with something easy, I asked, “Where else do you work?”
She hesitated.
Frustrated that she wouldn’t even tell me that much, I dug my heels in, determined to ferret this shit out. “The day you came to pick up Trent, you said you were missing work. I know the bar doesn’t open that early, so you’ve gotta have another job.”
“The Bean Machine. It’s a coffee shop not far from the bar. I work Monday through Friday mornings while Trent’s at school.”
“But you close the bar some of those nights. When do you sleep?”
She gave me that look again… the one like she was trying to figure me out. “Everyone loses sleep sometimes. It’s a small price to pay to keep my little man fed with a roof over his head. He’s all I have. I’ve gotta take care of him, you know?”
Her eyes were haunted, alluding to all the secrets she kept locked away. She’d seen some serious shit in her life and that knowledge tugged at something within me, making me want to protect and shelter her.
“I get it, but who takes care of you?”
Carly frowned and looked away, running her paddle through the water again before returning my gaze. “I take care of myself, Wasp. I always have.”
If I had anything to say about it, that shit was about to change.
Carly
CALLING WASP HAD been a mistake. Sure, he was great with Trent and my kid was happy now, but Wasp was trouble. The kind of trouble I didn’t need and had no idea how to deal with. He was too attentive, too observant, too charming, too caring, too perfect.
And his body…
Every damn time he pulled that paddle through the water his chest and arms flexed, spiking my blood pressure and setting my body on fire. Then we picked up the pace and he started sweating.
Oh. My. God.
Sweat was disgusting. I should have been grossed out, but there was something about his glistening, rock hard muscles that made me squeeze my legs closed. I needed friction. Desperately. I burned with need for him. I’d never felt such bizarre desire in my life. Is this what he did to women? No wonder they all turned into sluts whenever he came around.
He’s a manwhore.
Not good for you. Not good for Trent.
Reminding myself that I needed to stay strong, I was trying to keep my eyes on something else—anything other than Wasp’s hot, sexy, sweaty body—but he was right there in front of me. All buff and taking care of my kid, helping him lay down and encouraging him to rest. I’d been so busy trying not to look at Wasp that I hadn’t even noticed that Trent was about to pass out. Major mommy fail. When Wasp gently helped him lie down, my defenses weakened, and my ovaries almost burst.
Seriously, who was this guy?
I’d been prepared to deal with the cocky flirt I knew from the bar, but this Wasp with his opening doors and wanting to know more about me was wrecking my life. Destroying all my carefully constructed walls to keep him out. Why did the guy have to be so damn charming?
“Man, he is out,” Wasp said, smiling down on Trent.
That adoring smile directed at my kid… I couldn’t handle it. I had to look away again. “I’m sure he’s tired after the swim and the rock wall. He’s had a lot of excitement today.”
“What about you?” he asked. “You tired?”
“Tired is my permanent residence.” I stifled a yawn. “How long do you think it’ll take us to get back?”
“At this rate, probably an hour or so. Why? Are you afraid to be alone with me, babe?”
“I told you, you don’t scare me.” The lies were just rolling off my tongue today.
His grin called me on it. “Yeah. Sure, I don’t. You’re so terrified you won’t even tell me anything about yourself.”
“That’s not out of fear. It’s out of… self-preservation. I have Trent to think about, and he’s lost enough people in his life. I don’t want to confuse him or anything with a fling.”
“A fling?” Wasp asked, sounding a little hurt and offended. “You think that’s what I’m after? And that I’d want to hurt Trent?”
“Honestly, I have no idea what you want from me, Wasp.”
“Definitely not a fling, babe. Let’s start with answers. Where are you from? What are you hiding from? Why wouldn’t you give me your number? I have it now, by the way. Pro-tip, you should have blocked your number before you called me.”
“I probably wouldn’t think you were only after a fling if you weren’t handing out pro-tips,” I countered.
He chuckled. “Point.”
“I’m not answering your first two questions, and as for the third… I’m a single mom doing this on
“Do you assume every man who shows interest in you just wants sex?” he asked.
“Mostly. With good cause, though. I’ve heard girls at the bar talk about you like you’re some kind of carnival ride that everyone should try. That almost everyone has tried. The carnival’s not my thing. It’s expensive, the food is shit, and the games are rigged. I don’t have the time or money for that sort of nonsense.”
“Fair enough.”
I wasn’t done. “You said you don’t lie, Wasp, so don’t. Everybody has motives. What’s yours?”
Chuckling, he shook his head. “You don’t fuck around, do you?”
I shrugged. “What would be the point? If you’re looking to score, I’m not that girl. It’s best if I lay that out right now, before anyone gets hurt.” I glanced at Trent for emphasis.
“Damn. Straight to the fuckin’ jugular. You’re right. I usually just want sex, but so do the women I get with. I don’t lie to them or trick them, or whatever it is you think I’m trying to do to you.”
“Then what do you want from me?”
He scrubbed a hand through his hair as his calm, cool façade dropped. He looked frustrated, confused. “Honestly, I don’t know. But if I was just looking for sex, there are a lot of easier targets out there, babe. Targets that don’t come with kids.”
He had a point. “Maybe you like the challenge.”
He chuckled. “No. When I said I was in the Navy, you must have heard Seal. Those crazy motherfuckers like to be challenged. I was a ship mechanic because it was easy, and I didn’t have to worry about getting my ass blown off. I like the easy road, with as few mountains as possible.”
“Well, you don’t want me then, because my life is nothing but mountains.”
He laid his paddle across his lap and cocked his head to the side. “Tell me about it.”
He was willing to listen, and I wanted to talk, but could I trust him? Could I really trust anyone? I missed having friends… people I could share my life with without fear of judgment or disbelief. But Wasp? I barely knew him. Still, something about him was just so damn trustworthy I wanted to spill it all. First, I needed to ask a few questions of my own.
“How do you know the guy who rented us this boat?” I asked.
His brow furrowed. “He’s a customer. Why?”
“A customer? He didn’t ask you for a deposit or take your driver’s license like it said on the sign.” He’d been happy to see Wasp, and he clearly trusted him.
“Yeah, Ian’s good people. He won’t charge me. I met him at the gym, and we spotted for each other a few times and got to talking about our jobs. I told him I customize and repair bikes, and he said he always wanted a Harley. That’s what most guys say. Then they come up with some bullshit excuse about how their wife carries their balls in her purse and won’t let them buy one. But Ian was different. He wasn’t trying to prove anything, he was legitimately interested. He just didn’t know enough about them to buy one on his own, so we started looking and I found him a smokin’ deal on a twenty-fourteen Fat Boy that only needed a little work. Then we spent the next few weeks customizing it to Ian’s specifications. I like him, so I discounted the fuck out of the work I did for him.”
I didn’t know any ship mechanics, but Wasp certainly cursed like a sailor. Yet he hadn’t said one bad word in front of Trent while the little man had been awake. Robbie used to swear in front of our kid all the time, no matter how many times I begged him not to, yet Wasp watched his mouth without one prompt from me. He was so different, so unexpected.
“What happened to your parents?” he asked.
I didn’t want to tell him, but he’d answered my question. He’d taken my phone call. He’d saved the day. “I don’t know.”
“Babe.” He looked pointedly at me. “I’m trying to get to know you, but you’re locked up like Fort fuckin’ Knox. You gotta give me something.”
I liked the way he looked at me. I wanted him to keep looking at me that way, but knew it was in my best interest if he didn’t. Opening a window to my past might make him realize what a mistake it was to want to be part of my future. Did I want that? No, but I needed it.
“I was a fire station baby,” I finally admitted.
His brow furrowed. “What the fuck does that mean?”
“There’s a safe-haven law that allows people to drop off infants at police stations, fire stations, or hospitals… no questions asked.”
As Wasp connected the dots, his eyes ignited with something that looked like disbelief before morphing into anger. “Your parents dropped you off at a fire station?”
“My mom did. She was alone.”
“But…” He let out a breath. “They didn’t even leave their names?”
“Nope. No questions asked, no answers given. The volunteer fireman who accepted me didn’t know what to do. It was the first and last time anyone has left their baby at that particular station. He didn’t recognize my mom. Said she looked young. I come from a small town where everyone knows everyone, so if she was a local, he would have known her.”
“I get it. I’m from a small town, too.” He studied me, his expression curious. “Shit. Everyone knew, didn’t they?”
Now he got it. He really must have been from a small town. I nodded.
“That must have been hell growing up.”
“Wasn’t a picnic. The adults always had pity in their eyes. Kids wanted to know what was so wrong with me that my own mom dumped me at the fire station.”
“Fuck, Carly. I’m sorry.”
I couldn’t look in his eyes, didn’t want to see that same pity I’d come to recognize over the years. “Nothing you did. And it was a long time ago. I survived.” Surviving was the thing I was best at.
“You sure did.” He nodded and looked away, staring out at the water.
I held my breath, waiting for his reaction, wondering if he’d look at me differently, if he’d be repulsed. But, when Wasp’s gaze found me again, he looked more curious than anything.
“So… you were a foster child?”
Surprised, I nodded. “A nice couple took me in. They were pot heads and wanted the money to maintain their habit, but they didn’t bother me. I had a place to stay when I wanted it, and there was usually food in the cupboards.” And why the hell was I telling him this? His unusual reaction had thrown me off, had opened the floodgates of information and I didn’t know how to close them again. I snapped my mouth shut, trying to prevent more confessions from spilling out of my mouth.
“They’re kind of family. Do you keep in touch with them?”
I shook my head. “They graduated from pot to meth when I was in high school. I stopped going home sometime during my sophomore year and camped out on the couches of my friends.”
His bright, intelligent eyes held more questions, but we were getting too close to the shit I wouldn’t talk about, and I couldn’t seem to control my mouth for some reason.
“My sharing time is over,” I blurted out before he could open his mouth. “Tell me about you. What interested you in bikes? And the Navy?”
He eyed me but allowed the subject change. Putting his paddle back in the water, he talked about his grandfather, his time in the Navy, and his club. It was nice to hear about Wasp’s life. He owned his house, worked a normal job, seemed to have his shit together, all of which made me wonder what he wanted with me even more.
“Do you work tonight?” he asked as we neared the dock.
“Nope. I took it off because I didn’t know how Trent would do. Besides, my roommate normally watches him at nights, and she’s spending time with her parents.”
“Good. After that workout, I’m starving. Let’s go get something to eat.”
Every ounce of common sense I had told me to say no, but I couldn’t. Truth be told, I wasn’t ready to be away from Wasp yet. I liked being around him, and his presence seemed to highlight how lonely my apartment would be until Jessica got back.
“I’d like that,” I said.
He gestured at the shore. “Looks like the cavalry’s here to make sure we don’t take off with the kayak. You wanna wake the kid up?”
The instant Trent opened his eyes, he was looking for Wasp. His gaze landed on our big, buff kayaking champion and he let out a heart-melting sigh of relief. “You’re still here.”
Wasp smiled. “Told you I would be. A man always keeps his promises, Trent. That’s important.”
Trent nodded, and I could almost see him absorbing Wasp’s words like a sponge. My kid was already so terrifyingly attached to this man, and here I was accepting his dinner invite. Maybe we could be friends, like Robbie and I had been in the end. Maybe that would be enough for us.
But as Wasp kept rowing us toward the shore, with every stroke of his magnificent arms I knew I was screwed.
Or, at least, I wanted to get screwed.
And that was a very big problem.
Still, I couldn’t help but wonder what sex with Wasp would be like. With all those girls hanging all over him, I was sure he knew what he was doing. Would it be amazing and wonderful like I’d heard it could be? Or would it be awkward and painful like it had been with Robbie? Would I wake up in the morning regretting it and worried I’d wrecked our friendship?
We reached the shore, and I turned my brain off and focused on getting my half-asleep kid out of the kayak and onto solid ground. Trent swayed as I set him down, so I picked him back up and carried him in as Wasp and the employee who’d come out to meet us took care of the kayak.
“Your back’s gonna be hurting tomorrow,” Wasp said as we retrieved our stuff from the lockers.
“What do you mean?” I looked over my shoulder into the mirror beside the lockers. I had little handprints of white surrounded by red. Awesome.
“Sorry, Mommy,” Trent said, wincing as he looked at my back.
“It’s fine,” I lied, already feeling the sting. No doubt the burn would keep me up tonight. I should have let Wasp help me out but had a feeling that letting his hands touch my body would just incite a different kind of burn.
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