Ravens Ruin MC: The Complete Series

by Marie James

  Her pussy, my head specifies.

  “I promise, baby, that’s one thing on your list that will never happen.”

  She grins against my chest, and my mouth mirrors the same.

  My eyes shut when she shifts to get closer. I love it, the feel of her on my skin, her warm breath ghosting over the hair on my chest, the sporadic clench of her fingers on my abs. All of it.

  “I love women… but I’m smart enough to never trust one.”

  That was one of Cowboy’s mottos. He had one for every occasion and multiple opinions where women were concerned.

  Thoughts of my father make me stiffen under Candi. Even from the grave, he’s ruining the one thing I consider good right now. It won’t last forever. I know that. Nothing ever does. The only thing guaranteed in my life is death, and I chance meeting the devil every day I wake up.

  “I marked another thing off my list,” Candi grumbles sleepily against my skin, “But I don’t think I ever want to do that again. You’re enough.”

  You’re enough.

  Two fucking words.

  Three syllables.

  Eleven fucking letters.

  A simple proclamation, but a statement capable of bringing me to my knees if I were standing.

  My lips meet the top of her head as my eyes squeeze tight. The words you are too lodge in my throat.

  My skin itches, overheating where she’s pressed against me. Her touch almost burns, irritating me at every point of contact. Her breath, which only moments ago was almost warm enough to heat my cold, dead heart, is now scorching me from the inside out.

  I shake my head, my mouth unable to form words as I climb out from under her. She groans, agitated that I’m jostling her in her sleep. It’s almost endearing, almost enough for me to reach for her again. My body misses her immediately, but my brain is working a little better now with the distance. I yearn to comfort her as she twists to find a comfortable spot under the sheets. My lips want to press against her head while my mouth whispers, “Get some sleep, baby.”

  But I do none of that.

  Rather, I keep my eyes on the closed door, feeling caged as I pull my clothes back on. The weight of my cut as I drag it over my shoulders calms me. It gives me purpose, grounding me in my responsibilities. My expectations, my role in this club are clear when it’s covering me.

  The tug to go back to her only strengthens with each step I take down the hallway. Each inch I create between the two of us makes the leather on my shoulders heavier, makes the knot in my gut grow bigger.

  I need something to replace the feelings, to compensate for the voices in my head telling me I’m fucking up. Ignoring the whisper in my ear urging me to go back to her, I zero in on Ronan. He’s back at the bar, serving drinks, and no worse for the wear. He’s not hovering outside of the room or waiting in the shadows to catch Candi when she leaves my room. He’s doing exactly what he’s supposed to be doing, earning his keep by plying the people in the clubhouse with alcohol. It’s the pink still in his cheeks and the knowing grin that keeps making his lips twitch that makes me murderous.

  You’re enough.

  Fuck her for whispering those words.

  Fuck her for taking everything I’ve given her and begging for more.

  Fuck Ronan for not eating her better, and for not slamming into her mouth with enough force to choke her. She would’ve loved that. She would’ve begged him for more.

  Then and only then, I wouldn’t be enough.

  I don’t want to be enough.

  My fingers itch for the coarse texture of my rope as my eyes flit between the bartender and the back door off the kitchen.

  “Lynch.”

  My head snaps, my heart thrumming even louder as if I’m a lion getting caught stalking its prey. It’s actually not too far from the truth.

  Briar’s eyes narrow, shooting between my next victim and me. “Nope.”

  He positions himself between us.

  “Move,” I order.

  He doesn’t.

  “I will regret killing you,” I seethe, “But that won’t stop it from happening.”

  “That boy did exactly what you told him to do,” Briar says as if I need the damn reminder. The images of his face when he blew his load in her mouth are pretty fucking vivid. Thank you very much.

  “He shouldn’t follow orders so well,” I spit.

  Briar chuckles. Levity has no place right now.

  “Move,” I repeat.

  Briar moves, but only to look over his shoulder at Ronan. The heat of both of our gazes pulls the motherfucker’s eyes in our direction.

  “Leave,” Briar tells Ronan.

  “Prez?” His blue eyes plead with me, telling me he won’t walk out of this clubhouse without my permission.

  That.

  That fucking kind of loyalty is what the Ravens Ruin MC is all about. This boy, this twenty-three-year-old man will stay, will probably walk down to the basement unescorted and slip my noose around his own fucking neck if that’s what I want him to do. You don’t find that mercy, that willingness to sacrifice very often.

  “Go home for the night,” I urge. “Tomorrow you patch in.”

  “I got what you asked for,” Briar says as my eyes follow Ronan all the way out the front door.

  Next thing I know, a red-headed bombshell with the plumpest fucking lips I’ve ever seen walks up and wraps her arm around my waist.

  Chapter 28

  Candi

  Lynch’s body heat is barely clinging to the sheets when I wake in the darkness of the room. My ears perk, listening to see if he’s in the bathroom. Silent emptiness fills the room. Only the bass thumping from the party in the living room trickles in.

  I let my eyes close again. I’m beyond tired. The orgasms Lynch is able to wrench from my body are stronger than any I’ve ever been able to achieve on my own. They leave me drained and weak.

  Lynch poured himself inside of me. He didn’t even bother reaching for a condom before slamming into me. It’s the only reason I don’t feel apprehensive when I climb out of bed and use his shower like I own the thing.

  He kisses me.

  He plants his mouth at the apex of my thighs and devours me.

  I’ve slept in his bed at the house.

  He’s taken me twice in his room here.

  He doesn’t do any of that with the other girls.

  Xena may have her opinion of him, but his actions speak louder than words. Her opinion is based on what she’s seen, what she’s experienced. She believes he won’t ever settle down, that one woman couldn’t satisfy him for the long haul. That’s her truth because that’s who he shows her. That’s who he is around the other women and his club members.

  With me, he’s different. With me, he’s careful, making sure he gives me what I want, only what I can take. He knows my boundaries better than I do, and most days he nudges that line back a little further, but never throws me in the deep end expecting me to swim.

  My smile is simple, thoughtful, as I wash him and Ronan from my skin. The scent of sex and arousal linger until it’s replaced with Lynch’s masculine body wash. I don’t have to worry about washing him away. I know he’ll replace the spice of himself again soon.

  Bubbles from the soap tickle my skin as they slide down every inch of my body before circling the drain and disappearing. Somehow the sight of them vanishing lights a spark inside of me, an urgency to be by his side again. In a rush, I rinse and dry before hastily pulling my tank top and yoga pants back on.

  I don’t bother with my sandals once I realize I’d have to search for the one I kicked off in a rush to undress earlier. In bare feet, I pad down the hallway, only stopping at the sight of Xena standing in the hallway.

  She frowns at me before pulling her cell from her ear. The light shadows her face in a way that makes my skin crawl. The same ominous feeling that pricked my skin in the shower returns. My smile, the one spreading my mouth wide in anticipation of seeing Lynch slides from my face.

&nb
sp; “Hey,” she greets.

  The fact that she’s refusing to meet my eyes is telling.

  “Wanna grab a drink?” She hitches her thumb over her shoulder toward the area we’ve commandeered as ours when Molly and I are in the clubhouse.

  “No thanks,” I respond cautiously. “I’m actually looking for Lynch.”

  She’s unable to hide her wince, and my body goes on high alert as my eyes search over her.

  She doesn’t look disheveled. Her long black hair is just as straight and perfect as it always is. Her cheeks aren’t flushed as if she’s recently orgasmed.

  “Have you seen him?”

  She stiffens but doesn’t respond.

  “Have. You. Seen. Him?” I ask again, even though I know the answer. She wouldn’t be acting this way if she hadn’t. She wouldn’t be trying to distract me if she didn’t know what I was about to find was going to hurt me.

  We’ve become friends. Honestly, every woman in the clubhouse I consider a friend. Piper is right on the cusp, but that’s mainly because of her age and the distance she places between us on her own.

  I don’t even know who he’s with right now, but betrayal weighs heavy in my gut. One of my friends, one of the people I look forward to seeing every day is obeying her President and breaking my heart at the same time. My soul can’t distinguish between that and the pain I feel over Lynch. They bleed together, swirl and mix with one another until they form a mixture that seals up each and every brick Lynch knocked to the ground. The walls around my heart fortify. They gain strength and resiliency. Bricks turn to steel, and my frown fades, as does the tremble that settled in my lower lip.

  “Where?” I ask, emotionless.

  “He’s in room four.” I nod, walking past her and down the darkened hallway.

  I don’t need to open the door to see for myself. I know the numbered rooms are only used for sex when the people who live here don’t want others in their personal space. Lynch didn’t bring Legs to his room with the crown on the door. They ended up in room four. I chuckle a humorless laugh at the thought that room four is his preference whether he realizes it or not.

  “For what it’s worth—” My head turns in Xena’s direction. She’s still standing exactly where I left her at the lip of the hallway. “I thought he was going to change, too.”

  With that little piece of information I could’ve gone the rest of my entire life without hearing, she leaves me alone.

  I want to press my ear to the door, or walk away and pretend nothing happened. I want to find Ronan and fuck him in front of everyone still left in the living room, but each one of those choices gives him power. They give him the ability to turn this situation back on me.

  My resolve only wavers for a second as I reach for the doorknob, but knowing I’ve been facing disappointment my entire life forces me to twist my hand.

  The sight of Lynch standing with his cock barely out of his jeans and buried in some girls mouth isn’t unexpected, but the flash of unfamiliar red hair makes me take pause.

  She’s new.

  She’s not one of the girls I’ve grown to love on her knees for the Ravens Ruin President.

  They aren’t betraying me. He’s simply getting the first piece.

  Just like me.

  Just like Legs that same night.

  This is protocol.

  This is how it’s always been.

  How it will always be.

  I push away the voice that tells me he’s been different recently when his eyes snap up to mine.

  “Zoe,” he hisses.

  My heart clenches at the sound of my real name.

  His voice is filled with emotion, but his eyes, the portals to his dark soul are filled with censure. His hand grips the fiery red strands harder, his hips bucking deeper.

  “Okay.” I swallow and give him a quick nod.

  Dark green eyes search my face. I know my disappointment is clear. No matter how guarded my heart is, no matter how much strength I’ve gained at the sight of him driving his dick down some unknown girl’s throat, it’s impossible to hide it.

  “It’s only fair right?” My spine strengthens, the act quickly draining every ounce of reserved energy I can manage. “I sucked off the prospect.”

  His grip tightens further on the girl, enough that she whimpers. A little pride somehow seeps in when he loosens his hold on her. Even in this state, even with hate filling his eyes, he won’t hurt her.

  “Zoe,” he says again as his jaw tenses. A hefty grunt rumbles from his chest, and I know he’s found his release.

  It’s nothing I haven’t seen before. Vixen sucked him off in front of me weeks ago. The sight turned me on. This shouldn’t be any different, but, somehow, it is.

  The huge difference, the one I’ll remember every waking moment for the rest of my life, is that he doesn’t say a word when I turn and walk away. He doesn’t command me to come back. He doesn’t follow me into the hall to make excuses or try to explain.

  To my surprise, the tears I was certain would fall don’t come either.

  Chapter 29

  Lynch

  “You look like shit,” Briar says on a yawn as he joins me on the front porch.

  I ignore him, choosing instead to keep my focus on the trees in the distance. The sun is only hinting its approach, turning the horizon the faintest hints of pink and orange. It may be the only thing keeping me from hurting him. I was on a dangerous path last night. The way things turned out may have been the least harmful, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have an ache in my chest that has kept me up all night.

  “How was the redhead?”

  My jaw tenses, hardening to the point I feel like my teeth may crack.

  I can’t blame my VP for giving me exactly what I asked for. I placed the order after leaving Candi in my bed upstairs. I was trying to find a way to turn off the thoughts in my head, get rid of the uncontrollable feelings I was having for her. The same damn thing happened last night. I held her against me and wanted to stay. I wanted her to stay. I wanted her to want me, to need me, to be willing to sacrifice anything for me because I would do exactly that for her.

  I had to get away from all of that. Those types of thoughts are poison for a man like me.

  The redhead stepped into my path at just the right moment. She served a purpose, the catalyst I needed to get Candi to see the real me, the man she shouldn’t trust, the man I will always be.

  Somehow, though, I regretted it the second she opened the door and found me there. My brain wasn’t even working up to that point. Survival mode is like that I guess. I don’t think I breathed from the second I walked out of the room, leaving her asleep on my bed, until she pushed opened that door and found a girl on her knees with my cock in her mouth.

  “That good, huh?” I can hear the sarcasm in his voice without even looking over at him. “I thought you’d be pleased.”

  It’s criticism. He’s ridiculing me for even walking away with that girl. He’s upset because I didn’t push her away at first sight, and if I had to guess, he’s outright pissed that I followed through.

  “How was Andover?” He was heading out just as I was being led down the hallway with Cherry, nicknamed aptly due to her hair color.

  He stiffens beside me, realizing that I’m going to fight fire with fire. Something has been niggling in my gut, and I know he doesn’t want me to focus on it. If he’s smart, he’ll stay very far away from any conversation concerning Candi.

  “It’ll never be the same,” he replies, his voice dripping with satisfaction. “Your brother is psychotic.”

  “I’ve known that since he was eight.” I lift the coffee cup to my mouth, only to lower it again when I remember that I’ve been out here for over an hour already. The coffee is cold, just like my damn bed.

  “He was extra brutal last night,” he clarifies.

  His comment startles me. “I figured you’d be the one to dispense justice.”

  “I’m a badass,” he grunts, “But four a
gainst one are odds I won’t take with civilians.”

  I nod, understanding completely. Gangs, other MCs, criminals, we have a code. We retaliate; we don’t call the cops. Disposing of people who act like upstanding citizens in the light of day and deviants at night requires a little more finesse. Those people have families and mothers who make phone calls and send emails to TV stations and shit. We have enough going on. We don’t need the damn publicity or scrutiny on the club while we’re still transitioning.

  We sit in silence for what feels like hours or days or a millennia. The sun continues its slow arc across the sky, and the weight of the world presses heavily down on my shoulders. I’m numb, but not in an indifferent way. Everything is coming at me. There’s so much to get done, so many things that require my attention, but still, I just sit here.

  The front door opens, and I smell the soft fragrance of her perfume before she even steps out on the porch.

  My cock, conditioned to respond when she’s near, kicks in my jeans, but still, I stare at the horizon. I can’t look at her. I don’t want to see if she’s in pain or worse yet if she’s apathetic to what she saw last night.

  “We’re going to the mall with the girls,” Molly says sweetly.

  “Prez?” Briar says, seeking my approval.

  The standing rule is that Molly and Candi don’t leave the compound. We know Andover police are looking for Candi as a person of interest in the frat arson, but we aren’t sure if Molly has been implicated. After what TJ and Briar did last night, however, this may be the only time they get to leave here for a long while before all hell breaks loose.

  “Take a prospect,” I mutter.

  Molly squeals, delighted with the permission to leave after long weeks of being trapped behind the gate and turns to run off the porch before I can change my mind.

  “We only have one prospect,” Briar reminds me.

  Fucking Ronan.

  “Take Smalls,” I amend.

  Molly waves over her shoulder, letting me know she heard me, but she doesn’t slow her stride into the back of the clubhouse. Candi never even glances my way. I never feel her eyes on me.

  “She didn’t even spare me a single look,” I mutter, snapping my jaw closed when I realize I said that out loud.