by Marie James
“I have nothing to hide,” I tell her even though that’s so far from the fucking truth my throat burns like I’ve been drinking acid.
Her questions start off simple at first. She asks about things that I didn’t think would carry any emotions for me. She asks about my early life, my mother, Molly’s mother, and my father. I tell her nothing but the truth, only skimming over some of the more brutal things I’ve faced in life. I show her the scars my father left on my skin, the stab wounds and bullet holes, and she cries over the ones deep inside no one can see.
She confesses to being selfish and hating herself for pushing away all the good things in life because she was stubborn. She admits to hating herself for thinking she had it bad when we were suffering in this clubhouse. I admit my jealousy over TJ and Molly, and how I hated them growing up. They were spared so many times when Cowboy was focused on me instead. I also confess that now I’m glad Molly wasn’t hurt and that even sparing TJ didn’t help because he’s still a psycho.
She doesn’t delve deeper wanting to know about the inner workings of the club. She doesn’t ask questions that will glean information she could use against any of us later. She wants to know about me, only me. What makes me happy. What makes me sad. What turns me on the most.
“Enough,” I tell her a second before I crawl across the bed and tug her under me. “I feel like I’m on a fucking episode of Dr. Phil.”
“Tell me you love me.”
“I love you.” It’s all I should say, but since I’m making confessions. “I now know why my dad lost his shit when my mom died. I couldn’t imagine losing you.”
“You were going to kill me.” Her words don’t hold the same gut-wrenching pain it did hours earlier, but the burn is still there.
“I was going to have TJ do it. Then I would’ve had to kill him, and Briar would’ve had to kill me if I didn’t eat my own gun first.” I kiss her chastely on the lips. “It would’ve been a huge mess. So thank you for not being a snitch.”
“What’s going to happen to my dad’s body?”
I knew this question would come eventually. “It’s been taken care of.”
“Is it wrong that I’m not really all that upset?”
My gut clenches one final time before a cool calmness settles in my bones. “You wouldn’t be able to love me if you weren’t a little fucked up.”
She swats my chest, a giggle erupting from her throat. The sound is heavenly, one I never thought I’d hear again. I pin her arms above her head and show her just how much of a monster I can be.
Chapter 40
Zoe
“What does this mean?” I ask against his lips.
He’s spent the last hour telling me everything I want to know. He’s answered every question with honesty, never once making me feel like he was skating around the truth or omitting information.
“This,” he grunts as he shifts his weight and presses his hard length against my center, “means I want to fuck you.”
“And after?” My eyes squeeze shut as I try to resist him but my body is wound like a top.
“Snuggle?” His tone is so questioning, my eyes pop back open to find him grinning down at me.
“And tomorrow? You’ll be just as sweet?”
A devious smile paints his perfect lips. “Tomorrow, I’m going to tie you to my bed and fuck your ass.”
My entire body clenches at the prospect. “That so?”
He nods as his mouth trails down my body. The t-shirt I shrugged on after waking in his arms is quickly cast aside, and I’m open to him, his for the taking.
I’ll think about all the fucked-up things tomorrow.
I’ll think about my dad, and how I killed him without blinking.
I’ll think about Lynch and how resigned he was to my death.
I’ll think about TJ, and wonder how I’ll ever face him again after seeing his true colors.
I’ll think about how the Ravens Ruin MC is no place I should ever be, and how there’s no way I’ll ever leave.
But, for now, all I want to think about is pleasure and Lynch licking my—
“Oh,” I hiss when his mouth covers the apex of my thighs with a hard suck.
“Get out of that head of yours and into this bed with me.”
“I’m here,” I vow, tangling my fingers into his messy hair while I buck against his mouth.
“Mmm,” he moans, licking fast against my clit.
“What are you doing?” Confusion pulls my eyebrows together as he releases my most delicate flesh and begins kissing his way up my body. “I was enjoying that.”
“You’ll,” he pauses long enough to suck one nipple and then the other into his warm mouth, “enjoy this, too.”
“Are we in a rush?” He shakes his head, lips brushing mine before he slips his tongue against mine.
The world could fall away. The clubhouse could be bombed by the Taliban, and I’d still ask for five more minutes with him pressed against me.
“I was only making sure you were wet enough.”
“For what?” I ask.
“This.” He slams into me with a groan, his sounds becoming our sounds.
“Wait, wait, wait,” I beg. “It’s too much.”
“It’s not,” he disagrees, the tempo of his hips carrying out a punishing rhythm.
“Ah, ah, ah,” I pant in tune to his thunderous drives.
He’s fucking me like it’s the first time, the last time, and every time rolled into one. Even with all of my posturing, it’s exactly what I need, what my body craves.
“Coming,” I hiss as my body convulses around him.
“There’s my girl,” he praises as he shifts his hips back, lifts my leg, positioning it over his shoulder and plows into me again. “Milk my cock.”
His grunts begin to meld together as another orgasm builds at the base of my spine. His arms circle my back and grip over my shoulders as he holds me in place, forcing me to take everything he’s giving me.
“Please,” I cry.
I’m right on the edge, right on the precipice of release, needing something I can’t even put into words.
“I fucking love you.” He hisses out each word, punctuating each of them with a violent stab of his cock.
Yep, that’s it.
I explode. My core grips and releases him in pulses so aggressive I don’t even know he’s coming until he stills and whimpers in my ear.
He nuzzles my messy hair until the skin of his nose is pressed against that tender spot just below my ear. A soft kiss, then a second before he pulls away.
“Jesus,” I pant, unable to fully catch my breath as Lynch rolls off me.
He doesn’t go far. He doesn’t even bother to move the heavy leg that’s pressing me to his bed.
“Sorry,” he grumbles.
“Sorry?”
“That should’ve lasted longer,” he complains.
A giggle erupts from my throat. “It was amazing.”
He hums his agreement, but other than that simple noise we lay silently, breathing heavy and smiling at each other.
“Come here,” he says after a while.
Rolling over, I let him tug me against his chest. The sheen of sweat coating his flesh is cool to my own overheated skin.
There are so many things I want to say. So many rules I want to put in place, but I’m terrified he’s going to give me my walking papers. I decide then and there to no longer be a coward. If I’m feeling something, he’s going to know it. Fuck keeping shit bottled up inside until we get mad and do something we’ll regret.
“I can’t handle you breaking in the new girls.”
“I want to kill Ronan,” he confesses in return.
“Then I get to kill Cherry.” I’m shocked at the truthfulness in my tone. If she were here, I’d add her to my body count.
“She’s just a whore,” he defends.
“And he was only following orders,” I argue.
“So we let them both live?”
I c
huckle. “It’s easy for Cherry. She didn’t last but a couple of days. Ronan is patched in now. I will cut the next bitch that touches you.”
“Noted,” he says before leaning down to press a kiss to the top of my head.
The door swings open. There’s no knock or warning, just the crash of the doorknob against the wall.
Lynch growls as he scrambles to cover my body with his.
“Hey, Shooter,” TJ says with a smirk from the doorway. I’d flip him off if Lynch didn’t have my arms pinned to the bed under him. “Lynch, you’re needed in the chapel.”
“Do you mind?” Lynch seethes close to my ear.
“I’ve seen your dick before. It’s okay to be self-conscious. Mine’s still bigger,” TJ teases, making no move to leave the room even after his initial message was delivered.
“Impossible,” I huff and try to push Lynch off my chest. He’s crushing me without even knowing it.
“Have a look.” I squeeze my eyes closed the second I hear his zipper.
“I’ll fucking cut it off,” Lynch warns.
TJ’s chuckle follows him into the hallway.
“Asshole,” Lynch spits as he climbs off the bed to go close the door.
“Don’t go,” I plead.
I don’t want this time to be like every other time. Waking up alone is rough, but I can’t handle actually watching him walk away again. It killed me in the salon room.
“Baby,” he says as he climbs back on the bed. “I have church. There’re things we have to discuss. Things that happened today that we have to take care of.”
“And I’m just supposed to wait here for you to come back and fuck me?”
His eyes spark, tongue sneaking out to swipe at his lips.
“Although that sounds like a wonderful plan, I need you to go pack your shit.”
Dumfounded, I stare at him. I guess certain words don’t mean shit to him.
“Look at you already thinking the worst.” He flicks my nose with the tip of his fingers. “I want you to move in here with me.”
I’m already riled up. There’s no stopping this train.
“Not gonna happen,” I tell him as he pulls away and walks toward the dresser on the far wall.
He ignores my refusal and dresses with a sly smile on his face the entire time. It isn’t until he’s got his boots on, leather cut over his shoulders, and hand pulling open his bedroom door that he looks back to speak.
“Get your shit in here by the time I get back, or we won’t wait until tomorrow. I’ll tie you up and fuck that tiny asshole of yours tonight.”
“Gross.”
Lynch visibly jerks when he hears Molly’s distaste right in front of him.
“I was—”
“Just go,” she urges.
Instead, he turns back and climbs on the bed.
“Love you, baby,” he whispers before brushing a sweet kiss against my lips.
I’m smiling like a fool, watching him walk away when my friend clears her throat.
“What?” I ask innocently as I tug the sheets up higher to cover my naked body.
“You know he’ll never let you go now, right?”
“I know.”
“Not even when you get mad at him, or catch some girl sucking his dick. He owns you now,” she reiterates. “Like forever.”
Her words should worry me. They should give me pause, or make me second guess my decision, but they don’t.
I smile up at her. “I’ll kill any woman in this club that lays a finger on him.”
I expect her to argue, to tell me that’s not how things work around here, but her lips turn up, her smile matching my own.
“Looks like I’m no longer the only Princess around here.”
Damn straight.
Chapter 41
Lynch
All of my guys are waiting in the chapel when I arrive. Thick silence fills the room. It’s as if they’re holding their breaths to see what my reaction is going to be. I’ve vacillated with how I should respond. I’ve gone from praising them for carrying out plans I was too weak to do myself, and wanting to shoot each and every one of them for even questioning Zoe’s loyalty in the first place.
“Report,” I command.
“The headshot was close enough we think it will pass as a suicide,” Briar says.
I grunt. Not that it matters. I doubt the DEA is brave enough to challenge us again. We haven’t even heard whispers of them gearing up to come at us since the last raid when I was thirteen. They fucked up big time that day, and it cemented our ability to operate almost independent of any worry of interference.
“We discovered,” Hornet interrupts as he passes down a folder, “Miller hasn’t been working for the DEA for six months.”
“What is this shit?” The pictures in the folder don’t lie, but surely there’s something else going on to explain why Miller is with other bikers. “D.E.D.? We have no involvement with them.”
“The Dead End Demons, from what I’ve discovered,” Hornet continues, “have been contemplating taking over our territory.”
A rumble of laughs echoes around the room.
“Miller was on their payroll since his obsession with Ravens Ruin got him booted from the Agency,” Hornet adds.
“So we have a new enemy in Florida now?” As if the Colombians weren’t enough.
TJ snorts. “Not much of an enemy. They have like six guys down there. I wouldn’t even count them as a club.”
“There is no greater danger than underestimating your opponent,” I mumble, quoting Lao Tzu, as I look down at the photos.
“Enough of that medieval shit,” TJ snaps. “Can we go down there and kill them?”
I look up at my brother, understanding exactly where his head is at. His thirst for blood wasn’t quenched today, and it’s hard to re-cage a beast when it hasn’t been fed.
“That’s as good a transition as I’m going to get,” Briar says. “Luis Jimenez contacted Smalls. He wants to set up a meeting.”
I grunt my disapproval. “Going down to Miami right now isn’t a good idea.”
“It’s been months,” TJ argues. His desire to eliminate the Demons may end up getting him killed by the Colombians.
“Months?” I glare at my brother. “I know you don’t value women on any level other than a couple of holes to fuck, but it takes most men more than a couple of months to get over the brutal murder of their wives.”
“I value women as more than just fuck toys.” TJ crosses his arms over his chest. “I also need them to cook and do my laundry.”
Chains huffs an agreement before he can stop himself.
“Idiots,” Briar says with a quick shake of his head. “I don’t know if turning down his invitation to the Sunshine State is a good idea.”
“But walking into an ambush is?”
“News is,” Hornet interjects, “Luis has been partying like crazy since Frances’s death. He married her to get Alejandro’s empire. Things are simpler now that she’s gone.”
“See?” TJ smirks. “Luis knows a woman’s worth.”
“Yeah,” Chains adds. “Multi-billion dollar cocaine empire.”
“I’ll go.”
My head snaps from my brother to Ronan. Today is the first time he’s been allowed in church since he patched in.
“There’s a catch.” My eyes go back to my closest friend. “He wants you there. Said he wouldn’t accept a stand-in.”
I can deny risking the lives of my men, but how in the hell do I refuse to make the trip without looking like a pussy?
The answer is simple, I can’t.
“When’s he expecting us?”
“Two weeks,” Briar answers.
“We’ll need to make arrangements,” I advise him.
TJ claps his hands in excitement. “And the Demons?”
“We leave them alone,” I insist.
Smalls clears his throat, and all of the chatter around the table ceases immediately. The man hardly ever speaks, so when he do
es, we all better fucking listen.
“Their VP is a fucking tech genius. He’d benefit us.”
“So patch him over?” TJ asks actually considering the idea. The club comes first, always.
“No,” Briar answers.
I nod at Briar already knowing where his head is at.
“We absorb the entire club,” I finish.
“That gives us what we need down south if negotiations don’t end in a bloodbath with the Colombians,” Hornet adds.
“Exactly,” I agree.
“A hostile takeover?” Chains asks.
“I don’t think so,” I tell my men. “They want a piece of the pie. I think their Prez will be smart enough to see a good deal when it’s presented to them.”
“And when that fucker doesn’t want to give up his patch?” TJ challenges as he pops his knuckles.
“He’ll know a Ravens Ruin patch on his back is better than piss on his shallow grave, which will be the only other option,” I reply.
TJ almost looks disappointed, knowing his thirst for bloodlust will have to be quenched somewhere else.
“There’s something else,” Briar murmurs, but before he can finish the chapel door swings wide open and The Professor walks in.
“Who the fuck is that?” TJ mutters.
Trailing behind Professor is a leanly muscled man. He’s naked except for the leather straps crossing over his torso, crawling on all fours with his head down and a soft-looking fox tail swishing along the back of his thighs.
“How does the tail st—” Ronan stops himself before laughing. “Never mind.”
“I can’t be the only one with a hard-on right now, right?” Chains whispers loud enough for everyone at the table to hear.
Smalls grunts his agreement.
“I’ve always wanted a pet,” Boston agrees.
Professor snaps his teeth at each one of them, clearly possessive of his toy.
“Church dismissed,” I order.
“Things just got a lot more interesting,” TJ says as he walks toward the door, flicking the hanging tail before leaving the room.
Briar doesn’t move, and I smile at the reminder of power he holds in the club.
“You sure know how to make an entrance,” I tell my friend as I stand, crossing the room and clapping him on the back with a hug. I point to TJ’s vacated spot at the table. “Have a seat. Whiskey?”