by Marie James
Silence fills the air around us, but he speaks before it gets too heavy.
“It just never felt right, I guess. The one girl I got close enough to in college to consider going that far with decided I was taking too long. I caught her with my roommate.” He shrugs. “After that, I just figured it caused more problems than it was worth.”
“My brother’s best friend is celibate.” Why in the hell did I just blurt that out?
“Do you tease him, too?”
I snort a laugh before I can stop myself.
“No,” I answer. “I’ve known him for most of my life, and I still don’t know why he made his choice.”
“Kind of an awkward conversation to have with your brother’s friend, isn’t it?”
“You have no idea,” I mutter as we pull up outside a restaurant I’ve never been to.
Since I don’t know what first date protocol is, I wait inside the car, planning to see what his next move is.
“Do you like sushi?” Owen asks as he leans closer to look out my window at the neon sign.
“I guess we’ll find out,” I tell him with a bright smile.
He climbs out quickly, making his way around the front of the car, and opening my door for me. I take his hand as he helps me from the car. It’s a very sweet gesture, but completely different from what I’m used to. I’m not even certain I like being doted on, but one thing I do know is Owen Andrews is one hell of a catch. Even if I’m not the one, he’s going to make someone incredibly happy in life.
Chapter 12
Briar
“Smooth fucking move, asshole,” I mutter as I watch Dr. Do-Good reach his hand in and help Molly out of his douchey car. “She’s not fucking helpless, you know?”
My grimace transforms into a half-assed smile when I notice her looking around the parking lot. Either she feels me watching her, or she’s checking the area around her for danger. Both scenarios make me extremely proud.
As my luck would have it, they disappear inside and end up sitting somewhere out of range of the front windows. He didn’t seem very handsy, and from the looks of the parking lot, the restaurant is incredibly busy tonight, so I don’t imagine he’s going to try to get fresh with her.
Hell, I don’t think they’ll be in there long. Molly can’t even stand the smell of tuna in the can, and this ignorant idiot just escorted her into a damn sushi restaurant. She’d do better with a double cheese pizza or tacos, but let the vet crash and burn.
Contrary to what I believed when I first arrived, Molly doesn’t emerge from the restaurant immediately. I’m contemplating rushing the building two hours later, but as if on cue, they shove open the door with matching smiles on their faces.
The simple hand-holding they shared when they arrived has transformed into arms around each other’s backs. His ability to use a mere two hours to get his arm around her makes my blood pressure skyrocket. The way I’m feeling isn’t fair to her or myself, but I can’t control my emotions as much as I thought I could. I didn’t have a damn clue how I’d react in the aftermath of telling her she needed to find someone that was better suited to her, but the sight of them climbing back in his car with wide smiles and twinkling fucking eyes fucking crushes me.
I told her to move on. I insisted on it, knowing that a future including the two of us together isn’t a possibility. I’m considering my penchant for masochism, rather than the sadism that runs through my blood when I follow them back to the vet clinic. There’s the possibility as they pull into the lot and the car disappears around the back rather than parking in front like before that they’ll end up inside his place. He lives upstairs, so the chance of getting her alone in his own space is a possibility every single second that she spends inside that fucking building.
I know, given a chance without all of the consequences that comes with touching her, that I wouldn’t be able to keep my hands off her. I can’t fault this fucker for wanting her. She’s gorgeous, supple, and has a fire in her eyes that screams devious sex kitten.
Before I can get too deep in imagining killing him and taking over his life, one where Molly and I stay in bed together for days at a time, I see them walking around the corner of the building toward her car.
When she gets to the driver’s door, she’s no longer looking around. No longer feeling my eyes on her or concerning herself with the dangers that may lurk in the dark. No, she’s solely focused on the douche as he cups her cheek. Her smaller hand closes over his as her eyes flutter closed.
My hand is on the door handle, ready to bleed him out like a prized hog when he leans in closer.
“It’s your death, motherfucker,” I hiss.
A second before the door opens enough to engage the dome light in the truck, his lips land on her forehead. It’s not as bad as her mouth, but the sweet smile on her lips when he pulls away is just as bad as if he’d pulled out his cock and slammed into her right before my eyes.
He’s still too close as they gaze at each other, lips moving as they speak softly to each other.
He escapes with his life tonight as Molly climbs in her car and he closes the door for her without trying his damn luck again. Like a lovesick fool, he stands in the parking lot with his hand held up in a wave and a goofy grin on his Abercrombie face as she pulls away.
He’s no longer my focus as I put the truck in gear and follow a few car lengths behind Molly.
“Where are you going, Princess?” I mumble when she bypasses our turn and heads deeper into town.
A thick lump forms in my throat when I realize she’s heading to the park. It’s not much, an old rusted slide, a small jungle-gym, and a couple of creaky swings, but Lynch and I took turns bringing her and TJ here when they were little. Back then he tried everything he could to protect them from what the club was really about. TJ is a lost cause, something everyone realized shortly after his mother was killed, but Molly was easier to distract from the sins committed in the clubhouse.
“She’s no longer a baby,” I murmur as I watch her park, climb out of her car, and arrow straight to the middle swing in the set.
Her head is lowered as she rocks back and forth, eyes focused down on her sandals as they cut lines below her in the dirt. The pull I feel for her in my chest is too strong to stay in the truck and stare at her from a distance. Without conscious thought, I’m out of the truck and settling into the swing beside her.
“It’s not safe out here alone,” I chastise with no fire in my voice.
I want to drag her home and wash every inch of her, scrub her clean until no part of the vet, including his memory, is around.
“I knew you were close,” she whispers without pulling her eyes from her feet.
“Do you like him?”
Yep, masochist, through and through.
She doesn’t answer immediately, and I don’t know if she’s trying not to hurt me with her answer, or if she’s going to say something to manipulate me into responding the way she thinks I should.
“I like the idea of him,” she replies. “A man who isn’t afraid to hold my hand in public or doesn’t fear death when he flirts with me.”
He should fear death. He came really fucking close to disappearing tonight, and if I’m honest, the night isn’t over yet.
“He’s good for you,” I tell her even though the reality of it settles in my gut like a cancer that’s going to eat me from the inside out.
She grunts in response.
“He can give you the world,” I continue.
If the research Virus supplied me with is true, and the man doesn’t have any skeletons in his closet, he’s the ideal man, the type of man that if I had a little sister, I would want her to end up with.
“His world,” she clarifies. “I’m terrified of his world. Things out here are nothing like they are back home.”
I can’t help the chuckle that slips out. “You make it sound like a different planet.”
“Might as well be.”
I hate that her eyes are down and
not on me, but it gives me the chance to watch her facial expressions. I hate the way her throat works, and her eyes flutter as if she’s trying to force down emotions she doesn’t want me to see.
“You deserve better than the world the Ravens Ruin has to offer.”
Her eyes finally leave her feet to look into mine. They glisten with unshed tears, and the tiny drops clinging to her lashes might as well be the ocean because I’m drowning in her.
“We deserve better than having to stay away from each other.”
The pleading in her voice is excruciating. “Molly, don’t.”
“We can run away together, get new identities. I’d live on the other side of the world if it meant we could be together. They’ll stop looking for us eventually,” she bargains.
She knows that’s a lie as much as I do. Lynch would burn the world to the ground if he thought his sister was in danger, and that’s exactly where she’d be if we got any time alone.
“Lynch and the MC aren’t the only reasons we can’t be together.”
I wait, knowing she’s going to want me to give her specifics, but even a list created in bullet form for easy reading won’t be enough to deter her from thinking we could be happy together.
“What else is it? Is there someone else? Do you not love me?”
Jesus. The tears are flowing now, flooding her cheeks in streaks that she doesn’t even bother to wipe away.
“There’s no one,” I vow. I don’t go so far as to answer her last question. Uttering those words, even to myself when I’m alone, isn’t a chance I’m willing to take. “There’s a darkness inside of me, Mols. When I—”
I clear my throat, looking off in the distance, unable to see the pain playing on her beautiful face.
“I know you do bad things, but you do those to bad people. You don’t hurt innocent people. I know you won’t hurt me.”
“The last woman I fucked, died.”
She gasps, and my heart skips several beats before pounding out an uneven staccato so loud in my ears, I miss the first part of her next words.
“—loved her then? Was it a car crash? Did you make someone mad and they hurt her to get back at you?”
“I’ve said too much.” I climb to my feet, ignoring the hard plastic of the swing as it rocks back, hitting me in the legs. “You don’t need that shit in your head. It doesn’t serve a purpose other than proof that we can’t be more than what we are. We can’t sneak away. We can’t live some happy life on the other side of the world. My demons won’t allow it.”
“We can,” she pleads, standing and gripping my arm to keep me from walking away. “I can make you happy, Briar. I can be anything you want.”
Jesus, if only life were that simple. My jaw snaps closed before I tell her that she’s perfect exactly how she is.
“Please. I love you.”
“You shouldn’t,” I insist, but her fingers only dig harder in my flesh.
I revel in the pain, wishing she would cut me wide open, that way I’d have a reason to bleed all over the ground at our feet. I need to walk away but she’s relentless, clinging to me, begging with her eyes to give her exactly what she needs, but she’s misinformed because giving her what she needs will be her ultimate demise.
“Just picture it,” she pushes further with a sniffle. “We could get a small house in Ireland or something, make love all day and all night, and only get fresh air when we run out of food.”
She’s living in a fairy tale I can’t let myself imagine. I convinced myself I could have a normal happy life once, and it ended the exact same way I knew it would.
“We can’t have that!” I roar and spin around, facing her. Stubbornly, she glares at me, not intimidated in the slightest at my rage.
“We can!” she yells back.
“It’s not fucking possible, Molly! I murder every woman I fuck, and killing you would be my signature in blood on my own suicide note.” My hands are trembling with rage and the urge to prove to her just exactly what my demons feed on. On trembling legs, I walk away from her, the sobs escaping from her throat aren’t even enough to get me to turn back and comfort her.
Chapter 13
Molly
“No thanks.” I wave my hand when Xena pushes a full shot in my direction.
“Are you pregnant?” she whisper-hisses.
“What? No!” I look around the room logging where TJ and Lynch are. Briar has been AWOL since his outburst in the park last night, so I don’t have to worry about him hearing. Once I realize neither of my brothers heard her absurd question, I turn back around and glare at her. “Why would you ask me that?”
“That’s the only reason I wouldn’t be drinking,” Legs replies with bitterness in her voice before tossing back another shot.
Xena nods in Legs’s direction as if it’s sound reasoning.
“I just don’t feel like drinking,” I mutter, tracing the scars on the table with my fingers.
I can’t talk to them about Briar. I love these girls, but each one of them has a big-ass mouth when they’re naked and under various club members. The last damn thing I need is any rumors getting back to Lynch, especially after Briar’s disclosure.
He wouldn’t hurt me. I know that down in the marrow of my bones, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t make me pause and reevaluate exactly what the hell is going on. I spent all damn night mulling over the new information, and I’m no closer to understanding than I was when he deserted me last night.
The front door opens, only it’s Minx stumbling in with a laughing hangaround rather than Briar. I need to talk to him, but I’m not brave enough to text him. The new guy Virus was introduced earlier as the best thing in tech.
“A genius and an amazing asset to the club,” Lynch had praised before he settled on the couch where he’ll watch Zoe until she’s ready to show him some attention. The dynamic they have is weird, but they seem happy so who the hell am I to judge?
I’m not going to risk sending something that could be monitored, but I don’t think he’ll respond anyway. With him being gone nearly twenty-four hours, I’m beginning to worry that he may be gone for good.
“Do you want to talk about it?”
I shake my head, answering Zoe’s whispered question when the other girls are busy toasting with yet another shot.
My phone buzzes in my pocket. I pull it out slowly, in no hurry to answer yet another text from Owen.
Owen: Are you mad? I swear, had I known you didn’t like sushi, I would’ve taken you somewhere else.
I grin at his concern. I’ve assured him multiple times that the kid’s meal cheeseburger and fries I had last night, rather than the raw fish I couldn’t stomach, was fine. I can’t blame him. It wasn’t until we were seated and the appetizer he ordered was brought to the table that I even remembered I despise fish. Just the smell makes me gag. I wonder if he kissed my forehead last night rather than my lips because he was worried about his fish breath.
I chuckle as the thought hits me.
Me: Not mad. I swear. Just distracted at a party.
“Is that your vet?” Zoe asks with a grin on her face.
I know she’s playing up the enthusiasm because we discussed the date earlier. Well, I gave her simple details and one-word answers. She knows how I feel about Briar, and she also knows that he isn’t someone I can get over after one evening with another handsome guy.
Owen: A party? Nice. Want some company? I’m awesome at beer pong.
I snort another laugh.
Me: You’re full of shit.
Owen: Okay. You caught me. I’ve never played, but I have surgeon's hands, so I imagine that would translate well with aim.
“What is his damn problem?” Legs bitches, pulling my attention from my phone and in her direction.
Following her line of sight, I see TJ sitting on the couch. A girl he would normally be all over frowns as she walks away from him. Ronan saves the day, grabbing her by the hips and lowering her onto his lap.
�
��What’s he looking at on his phone?” Zoe asks as we all watch him.
“I peeked over his shoulder one day last week,” Xena says as she pours another row of shots. “It’s just a little red dot moving slowly on the screen.”
“He hasn’t fucked me in days,” Legs complains.
“I haven’t seen his dick in weeks,” Vixen adds as she reaches for one of the filled shot glasses.
“I’ve never had the pleasure,” Kai joins in with a sigh, also reaching for a shot glass.
We all laugh at his antics.
Kai has been an amazing addition to the clubhouse. He’s feisty, super funny, and has the hands of an angel when it comes to waxing eyebrows.
A loud whistle echoes around the room when Kai lifts a shot glass to his lips. It stops, suspended in the air, before a drop even touches his mouth.
“Later ladies,” he says with a grin as he drops to his hands and knees. “Daddy doesn’t like it when his pet drinks.”
“You did that just to get a fucking spanking,” Xena teases as he crawls away and in the direction of Professor.
Kai gives an exaggerated shake of his ass, making the now famous foxtail butt plug swish against the backs of his thighs.
“I honestly thought TJ was going to make me his old lady,” Legs whines. “Whoever he’s fucking outside of this club can go to hell.”
Frowning when Xena snorts across the table, I turn in Legs’s direction. I open my mouth to let her down easy, but Xena opens her trap before I can even form words.
“You can’t claim him,” Xena begins, but she draws in a long breath as if she’s about to climb on her soapbox. It’s a favorite place for her to stand, especially when the new girls come in and think they can piss a circle of ownership around any of the guys.
Zoe is the only woman in this club that has any form of claim on a man, and even with as much as she loves my brother, that claim would mean nothing if he didn’t claim her first.
“Look!” Legs snaps, pointing her finger across the room before Xena can speak again. “He does this all of the time. First, it’s the damn phone, and then he’s out the door. I’m going to get the phone from him and find out just what the fuck is going on.”