by Ashley Jade
“You look beautiful Bonita,” he says as he stands up and walks over to me.
I give him a frail smile that I know he's secretly delighting in.
He stands behind me and skims his hand along the length of my body.
“I always knew we would end up together,” he hums against my ear.
I close my eyes and breathe in the hint of sandalwood and spice from his cologne.
I try and force my mind back on autopilot mode like I used to be able to.
It's crazy how much life can change in a mere 6 months.
I'm preparing to feel a knife along my throat or a gun pulled to my head, but instead...he reaches for my hand.
I don't protest...I don't say a word.
I let him lead me to the top level of the yacht overlooking the ocean.
Funny...this is exactly where I hoped I would be able to kill him.
The way the top level of the yacht dips, combined with the singular metal railing...it's perfect for dumping a body.
It's exactly why I purchased it in the first place...almost like it was designed entirely for this purpose.
I can't help but take in the night sky and the beauty of the night sea.
I grip the railing as he comes up behind me again.
For a second I think that he's just going to toss me over, but instead he plants a kiss on my cheek and puts his arms around my waist.
Part of me wishes he would just get it over with already, the other part craves spending my last minutes on earth with him.
Well...with the Alex that I had fallen in love with all those years ago. The one that the 16 year old me always dreamed of marrying one day.
Funny how life works out.
It's funny how things come together, before it all ends.
As if infiltrating my deepest thoughts and desires, his hand slips down lower and lightly coasts along my panties.
This time, I welcome his touch.
I'm thankful for the few moments he's granting me with my Alex.
“I love you Alex,” I whisper, and I really mean it.
He might not have the claim on my heart and soul in the same way that Tristan does...but he still owns a part of it...of me.
His love left its mark on every single part of me, in so many ways.
He presses into my back and I feel his own heartbeat jump.
“We'll find our way back to each other. I love you Bonita...para siempre,” he whispers as he moves my panties aside and enters me.
My mind can't help but recall when he first whispered those exact same words to me.
I inhaled and waited for the pain to subside...only unlike losing my virginity, this pain didn't subside.
It never would.
He bends me over the railing. “Tú eres la más hermosa venganza,” he says as he thrusts into me harder.
Hearing him utter those words again illuminate something deep within me.
Those words were my very first glimpse into the real Alex. The very first layer of his deceit.
“I thought you once were,” I sigh.
“You once thought a lot of things about me Bonita.”
“I once thought the world of you. I once thought you were the most beautiful gift. I thought your love was everything...it was the reason I breathed."
He stills himself as I feel his hands begin to squeeze around my throat.
“Kill me Alex. You've already killed the biggest part of me. Your wrath...killed our love.”
“You've always been so weak Dev. Your love, your heart, your soul... it's all weak,” he growls as he bends me farther over the railing.
“For better or worse-my love, my heart, and my soul are the very best parts of me. You tried to turn it into something cold and black...like yours, but you failed. You are the darkness and Tristan is the light. I am merely the vessel, yet the both of you encompass equal parts of me."
“You were going to kill me Bonita.”
I turn my head to look at him. “You're right, but you know what I never realized until now? I don't have to kill you Alex. I don't have to kill you...because you're already dead. The person that I once loved is dead. You died that night in the basement."
He screams as he lifts me up and hauls me over the railing.
It's true what they say.
When you're about to die...everything important, everything that ever mattered flashes right before your eyes.
I'm back in the basement. I'm brought back to that very moment right before I thought he was dead when he looked into my eyes.
As I hold onto the railing with what little strength I have...I look into his ebony eyes with beautiful flecks of gold.
“Para siempre Alex,” I whisper, before I close my eyes and submit to the inevitable.
I feel my hand slip and instead of continuing to hold on...I stop breathing and let go.
Then I feel it.
'My heart beats with every single breath you take. I love you Devonna.'
I can't die. I have to survive.
I feel something latch on to my hand and pull me up.
Alex.
He lifts me up over the railing , as the boat sways and we both fall onto the floor.
I hear something heavy hit the ground with a big thud before I hear it scrape along the deck floor.
Then...I see it.
A gun...and it's about to go right over the edge.
Our eyes meet before we both drag our bodies over to where the gun is.
“I knew I should have let you fall to your death. I was trying to be generous and show you how much I love you. I hear drowning is an awful way to die," he taunts.
My hands are a fingers length away from the gun.
“You should have just killed me when you had your chance. Look who's love made them the weak one now,” I scoff before I feel something sharp slice through my back.
I cry out in a combination of both surprise and strain.
“I told you I would kill you next time Bonita,” he screams.
I try to twist myself around, but the knife that's still embedded in my back is becoming excruciating.
A pool of my blood gathers around us on the deck as he reaches over me and grabs the gun.
He stands over me and points the gun at me. “You want me to end the suffering sooner, or do you want me to let you bleed out?” he asks impassively.
I twist my self against the hardwood floor of the deck and use my own blood as a catalyst to help me stand up.
His eyes flash as he watches me with amusement. “On second thought, I think I'll just let you bleed out. At least this way, I'll be able to spend some more time with you."
I grunt as I reach behind me and pull the knife out of my back.
He steps back nervously and watches as I remove my garter belt.
I say a silent prayer that it's made with enough elastic to fit around my waist in order to put enough pressure on my wound and slow the bleeding.
It does.
His lips twitch and he points the gun at me again. “I guess nursing school paid off. That was some quick thinking there Dev. I highly doubt that sexy little outfit can stop a few bullets though."
The boat sways to the left sharply and its enough to cause both of us to shift.
If I didn't know any better I'd almost think that captain was doing this on purpose.
He holds onto the railing as he continues to point the gun at me. “You and I both know you're as good as dead Dev. And so is Tristan."
I look at the hand that's pointing the gun at me and notice it's shaking.
There's still a small part of Alex in there somewhere.
I take a step toward him as I see a tear roll down his cheek.
If I had any chance...this is it.
“You don't really want to kill me Alex,” I say as I take another step.
He lifts his head and looks at me as his eyes turn coal black and my previous hope dwindles.
“One of us have to die right now, and we both know it's no
t going to be me.”
His hand stops shaking as he steadies the gun and aims for my chest.
He gives me an ominous grin. “You love me Bonita, and I know you better than anyone else. As messed up as we both are on the inside....we're the same Dev. We're soulmates. We both know, you don't have the strength to kill me anyway. You're my strength...but I'm your weakness."
I close my eyes, because I know he's right.
This whole time I thought that I was his weakness...but he was mine.
I open my eyes as the boat sways to the right. I ground my feet firmly on the deck and center myself as much as I can.
The boat sways violently again, and it's enough to send the both of us flying to the opposite side of the boat.
I look down and I see it.
The gun is now right in front of me.
I falter as I bend down to pick it up.
Alex is right...I'm not strong enough to do this.
I can't kill him...because I'll be killing me.
He laughs as he takes a step away from me.
“Come on Bonita...take your best shot.”
I hold my breath as he takes another step back and holds onto the railing. “Like I said...you can't do it. Think back to when you killed Diego. Think about why you killed him Bonita. You killed him because of love...because you love me that much."
I take a step forward as tears stream down my cheeks.
He looks up as his gaze wavers between my eyes...and the gun that I currently have pointed right at him.
He swallows hard and I hear his breathing begin to hasten. “I love you. If you hurt, then I hurt. If you scar...then I scar Bonita.”
I match his gaze as my finger finds the trigger and I empty all the bullets into his body.
“I love you Alex...and I know,” I whisper before I throw his body overboard.
All the feelings and emotions that I buried from the night that continues to haunt me, come to the surface at a vast pace.
In that moment- I realize that I did kill for love again...
My breathing catches in my throat and I steady myself against the railing as panic erupts.
Oh god....what have I done?
I wasn't supposed to kill him.
I've just put Tristan in harms way.
I grip the gun and run down to where the captain is.
He looks startled as I aim the gun for his head and he hold his hands up in surrender.
“Please don't kill me. I'm a friend of Moe's. We have to move quickly to get to the other yacht.”
I look at him in disbelief. “What?”
He takes a step forward. “Look...I know that you just killed the head of the Cartel. Moe has set some things in place for you so that you can hide out. So with that said, please, don't kill me...or I won't be able to help you."
I lower the gun. “I just put the man I love in direct danger.”
He takes a deep breath. “From what I hear, you just saved Tristan's life. Moe was able to get him out and to safety. The mob's going to look after him and protect him. He's safe now Dev."
He shrugs and gives me a smile. “Look, I don't know how long we'll be able to run and stay one step ahead of them. But at this point, you really have no other options left."
I nod my head as relief overwhelms me. Tristan's safe.
Moe did it...I did it.
My plan worked.
He's out, he's safe and protected.
Tears flow down my face and I smile.
“Do you know how to stitch up a stab wound?”
His eyes open wide before he begins pulling out various supplies.
I remove my corset as he goes to work.
I feel him hesitate. “He got you good. This is going to hurt and leave a scar. A big one.” he says.
I wipe the tears from my eyes and clear my throat. “I know.”
It already has.
Chapter 51 (Tristan)
“Welcome to the land of the living,” Moe says as I step out of my bedroom.
I look in the mirror. I've dropped some weight...but other then that, I'm back to looking like myself again.
Too bad I can't say the same for how I feel on the inside.
I smirk as I pat my pocket. “So we're supposed to meet Antonio at the old warehouse right?”
“Yeah, he just wants to have a quick meeting and apologize to you for fucking everything up. He's going to have your back Tristan. You can go back to living your life again," he says as he holds the front door open for me.
That's what he thinks.
After driving for a few hours, we finally stop in front of the massive warehouse.
We walk to the elevator and hit the button for the 4th floor- Antonio's office.
We step out and pass various mob men and they nod their heads at us in greeting.
Everything looks the same.
I smirk to myself as I feel darkness and revenge clench my heart.
We knock on Antonio's door and wait a beat before we're greeted by a little blonde wearing a mini skirt.
She grins when she sees us. “Holy shit. It's been a long time boys. How the hell ya been?” she asks.
I ignore her question, but bend down to give her a quick hug before Moe does the same.
She steps out of the room and we walk in.
Antonio puffs on his cigar and sits back in his chair as he looks at us.
With a quick wave of his hand he dismisses the various men in his office until it's just Moe and I standing in front of him.
Antonio clears his throat as he looks me in the eyes. “Look, let me just get this out of the way first. Now, I've never said this before...but I fucked up and I apologize."
I give him a smile and stick out my hand.
He smiles as we begin our handshake.
With my other hand I promptly reach into my pocket and pull out my gun.
He doesn't even have time to react before I fire a shot directly into his head.
“What the fuck Tristan!” Moe roars.
I turn around and face him.
He shakes his head and puts his head in his hands.
“I fucking knew this shit was gonna happen.”
Epilogue(Dev)
6 months later...
I've effectively hidden myself for 6 months now.
However, I know my days are numbered.
I wish I could say that I spent my time doing something positive and that I've come out a better person.
I wish that I could say that I've had a life changing epiphany and that all the pain inside is gone.
I wish that I could say that I've healed from everything that has happened.
But I can't.
There are just some things that you can never truly heal from.
Some things don't get better with time...but they don't necessarily get worse either.
Only we can decide if it does.
Only we can decide what we're going to do with all the pain inside.
Only we can decide what we're going to do with the hand that we've been dealt in life.
Only we can decide what we're going to do once our house of cards crumble to the floor.
Oddly enough, in the last 6 months. I've come to understand my parents in a way that I never thought would be possible.
It still aches...but I accept it now.
In their fucked up way...they were trying to protect me.
Just like I did for Tristan.
Their actions were wrong, but their intentions were good.
I've realized that we all have darkness in us...but we also have light.
Sometimes the only way to get to the other side is to crawl your way through the black hole.
In my darkest moments...I cling to my memories of Tristan.
I know I did the right thing for him.
I know that everything was worth it in the end.
I cling to the light that his soul provides me.
I cling to the love that surrounds my heart for him.
I can only hope that he does the same for me.
A sense of calm washes over me as I overlook the ocean and breathe in the crisp salty air on my 30th birthday.
The boat abruptly stops and I glare at the deserted piece of land in front of me.
This is strange.
We weren't supposed to stop anywhere today.
My stomach sinks as I notice the very familiar man standing there waiting for me.
His expression is grim and there's a helicopter nearby.
******************
That sense of calm will quickly fade and I will soon find out how very wrong I was.
About the Author
I'm a New Yorker who's a a lover of psychology, romance, erotica, astrology, and anything else thought provoking...except for math. I've always read books growing up, and after having a strange dream one night; I decided to just go for it and publish my first series. Ever since, I've been written by the bug and I don't want to stop.
If I'm not researching, paying off student loan debt, or writing a novel you can usually find me watching my favorite series on Netflix, or stealing my fiances t-shirts.
Check my amazon page for future novels. Also, feel free to start a discussion board/or leave a review if you're so inclined. I value and appreciate all my fans reviews, thoughts, and discussions, as well as their time. Each and every single one of you are important to me. Thanks for believing in me and giving me a shot. It has meant more to me then you'll ever know.
~ Happy Reading ~
Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ashley-Jade/788137781302982
Amazon page: https://www.amazon.com/Ashley-Jade/e/B011JBZ24C
Other Books Written By Ashley Jade (all available on Amazon)
What Happens In the Dark (Book 1)
Comes To Light (What Happens in The Dark Series, Book 2)
Against The Darkest Shadow (What Happens in The Dark Series, Book 3)
The Black Widow Club
The Best Deception