by Mary Campisi
“You could always talk to Cash. You’re buddies, and he’ll talk to Tess who’ll talk to Gina, and make her see things in a different light. You know, they had their share of issues and they might just be the ones to make Gina see that every beautiful flower garden has a weed or two that needs plucked.”
“Cash isn’t going to be exactly thrilled with me when I tell him the truth.”
“Oh. So you plan to tell him how you duped him?”
He slid her a look, spotted the smile on her face. “Yeah, I’m going to tell him. He’ll probably take a swing at me, but it’s the right thing to do.”
Mimi nodded her salt-and-pepper head. “Yes, and I’m proud you’ve realized that.” She paused and her voice dipped. “You remind me so much of my son. Some of the things you say, your smile, the way your dark hair curls…well, I imagine Paul might have resembled you.”
“I’m really sorry, Mimi.” Jeremy had told him the boy died when he was a teenager. Car accident. Speeding.
“Thank you.” Her lips turned into a faint smile. “I’m grateful to have had the opportunity to get to know you. You’re a very special young man, Ben Reed, and it did my heart good to see you smiling and happy, so different from when you first came. Gina was the reason for it, but not the only reason. You changed when you started to care about people. Look how you helped Jeremy and Bree.” Her smile spread. “Why, the whole town’s talking about it. They’re not calling you a stranger anymore. Even Pop’s throwing compliments your way.”
He guessed he should be impressed if the Godfather of Magdalena had taken notice. Ben cleared his throat, uncomfortable with the praise, and said, “I didn’t do anything special.”
“You cared and that’s more than most do. And you took the time to listen and help them. Do you know Bree’s working at her father’s three half-days a week? Loves it, too. Christine’s helping her with accounting and basic business skills.”
“And Brody?” He wondered if the guy really bought into Bree’s new job.
“Ah, Brody.” She tsk-tsked. “That boy has everything and yet all he can see is what he doesn’t have, and what he wants. I hear he’s not happy that his wife is spending time at the office when he has to work in the shop and can’t take lunch whenever he wants.”
“That sounds like Brody.”
She nodded. “Unfortunately, it does. Pop says there will be rough patches ahead and lots more crabgrass, enough to choke out the good.”
Whatever that meant. “I hope Bree makes out okay.”
“She’s stronger than most people think, and I imagine she’s tired of playing the nitwit wife who must defer to her husband at all times.”
“Good for her.”
“Did you hear Harry Blacksworth is planning to open a restaurant with his wife? Working on the renovation right now; wants to open it before Christmas.”
“Huh.” He’d only seen the guy once or twice, but he seemed decent enough and the town sure loved him.
“I called him the other day, asked if he was looking for a chef.” She grinned. “Jeremy has an interview on Thursday.”
“Well, I’ll be damned.” Ben turned to Mimi, squeezed her hand. “You take care of everybody, don’t you, Mimi? You’re a regular guardian angel.”
She met his gaze, her eyes bright, and said, “I don’t know about that, but there is one thing I do know. I’m sure gonna miss you.”
When news of Ben’s leaving spread through town, people begged him to stay.
Rudy Dean offered him a bump in salary and no more flyer handouts or low-rate jobs.
Lina’s Café promised free chili for a year.
Bree hugged him tight and declared he and Gina were soulmates and must remain together.
Cash, while initially ticked, confessed his not-so-stellar reunion with Tess and tried to convince Ben to talk to Gina again.
Even Nate Desantro shook his hand and said, “Tough luck.”
Jeremy asked if he could keep in touch and said he was real sorry things didn’t work out with Gina. Then he told him he’d just been hired as a chef at Harry’s Folly, which was scheduled to open in early December.
Carmen and Marie Servetti sought him out and begged him to have dinner with their niece, Natalie. They assured him she would make him change his mind about leaving.
Tess Casherdon hugged him and told him not to give up.
Christine Desantro did the same.
Of course, the one person he really wanted to see was noticeably absent.
And the whole town knew exactly who that was.
***
Philly looked the same as it had when he left—the history, the crowded streets, the Philly cheesesteaks—but the appeal was gone. He stopped at his condo, glad Paige was on the road again. One less excuse he’d have to fabricate as to why he was back, and why he wasn’t staying. He’d give her a reason soon enough, maybe even the real one.
Right now he had a mission. He didn’t want to do it, dreaded the prospect as he drove to the address, parked the car, and stood in front of the two-story colonial. Even when he rang the doorbell and waited, he swallowed back his dread. But it didn’t matter if he heaved his whole breakfast, he was going to do it because he owed her that much.
The front door opened and his ex-wife stood before him, shock and dismay on her face. “Ben, what are you doing here?”
“Hi, Mel. Can I come in?” She’d always been beautiful, but the after-baby glow made her even more so. Or maybe it was marriage to the right man that gave her that special glow.
She clutched the door frame, her face pinching. “You shouldn’t be here. Kenneth will be back any minute—”
“This won’t take long.” He worked up a smile. “Please?”
The familiar sigh came next and a curt, “A minute, that’s all.”
He entered her home, correction, their home, the place where she lived with her new husband and new baby. That thought didn’t bother him, hadn’t bothered him in a long time. Not since Gina. “Nice place. I’m happy for you.”
She stood a few feet away, hands clasped against her middle, like she thought she needed to protect herself from him. “Thank you.”
He nodded. “Congratulations—” he paused, met her gaze “—on the baby and getting married. You deserve this. I want to apologize for my behavior the last time I saw you. I guess I should even apologize for punching your husband. He goaded me, but I get why he did it, even though I didn’t back then. It was the only way he could get rid of me; I wasn’t a part of your life anymore but I wouldn’t give it up. I would have done the same thing.”
Melissa’s eyes grew bright. “Thank you.”
Ben cleared his throat and pushed on with the truth, even though it made him uncomfortable and he’d rather pull a double shift than spit out the confession. “And I’m sorry I was a horrible husband. I thought loving you was enough. I couldn’t buy into the sharing end of it and showing parts of ourselves and our past we didn’t particularly like. But I get it now.” He paused, sighed. “I really get it.”
When she spoke, her voice covered him with knowing and sympathy. “You met someone, didn’t you?”
He wasn’t going to lie to her, even though that would be more comfortable and much less invasive. “Yeah, I did.”
Her full lips curved into the faintest of smiles. “And you love her, don’t you?”
Another necessary truth. “I do.
“So why the long face?”
He forced a smile and tried for his old lighthearted response, but the attempt wobbled and fell flat. “You know me, Mel. Give me a relationship and I’ll screw it up. I screwed this one up bad.”
“Oh, Ben.” She closed the distance between them, touched his arm. “I’m so sorry. Can’t you try to make it work?”
He clasped her hand, did smile this time. “If I learned one thing from this whole mess with us, it’s that when it’s over, it’s over.”
“Where will you go? What will you do?” Her voice held a hint of wor
ry. For him. “I could talk to Kenneth, convince him to let you stay in Philly.” She paused, squeezed his arm. “Just say the word and I’ll do it.”
“No, Mel.” Ben shook his head. “I’m not staying here.” He didn’t belong in Philly, not anymore.
“But where will you go?”
“I’ve kind of grown fond of small towns. I’m thinking of heading back to the place where my grandmother lived before she moved here.” His voice dipped, softened. “There’s something about a small town that pulls you in, makes you part of a family, cares about you.”
She nodded. “Keep in touch? I want to know you’re okay.”
“Sure,” he said. “Kenneth is one lucky guy; I hope he realizes that.”
Her eyes sparkled. “He does.”
“Good. Now, can I see this baby before I head out?”
***
Twenty days later
Nate studied the drawings in front of him and didn’t hear Lily come into the workshop until Cash called to her.
“Hi, Cash. Hi, Nate.”
Nate looked up and spotted his sister. “Hey, Lily. I thought you were going to help Tess bathe Henry.”
She stopped at the workbench and smiled up at him. “I am. She’s getting Henry’s shampoo and his towel, the one with his name on it.” She glanced at Cash and said, “I told her I had to make a phone call first. Cash, can I have Ben’s number?”
“What?” Nate tossed his pencil aside and turned to Lily. “What do you think you’re doing?”
Her smile wavered. “I never got to say good-bye to him. He just left.”
“Honey, Ben disappointed a lot of people, and it’s better to let it go.”
“No.” She shook her head and her eyes grew bright. “He’s nice and I liked him. He and Gina love each other. Why can’t they be together?”
Nate looked at Cash, who shrugged and shook his head. “Lily, this is adult talk.”
“Can I please just call him? I’ll be real quick.”
“Here.” Cash pulled out his phone and dialed a number.
Lily took the phone and started toward the door. “Be back in a minute. Thanks!”
***
Ben almost didn’t answer the phone until he saw the call was from Cash. “Hello?”
“Ben? Ben Reed?”
“Yes. Who is this?”
“This is Lily. Lily Desantro.”
Nate’s sister. “Hi, Lily. How are you?”
“Fine. You didn’t say good-bye before you left.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah. It’s okay.” Pause. “Ben?”
“Yes?”
“Gina’s sad.”
“Lily—”
“I saw her cry. Nate told her she shouldn’t waste her tears on you, but that only made her cry more.”
Damn that Nate Desantro and his self-righteousness.
“Nate said you’d be a horrible father, but I think you’d be a great dad.”
“Um, I don’t know. Why are you talking about that?” Why was she talking about that?
“You just need practice, but how are you going to get practice if Gina and the baby are here and you’re there?”
“Lily, what baby?”
“Gina’s baby, silly. And yours.”
Those words pounded his brain, squeezed his gut, and propelled him from Philly to Magdalena, stopping only twice; once for gas and once to grab a sandwich and a bathroom break. Gina was pregnant? With his child? When? How? Well, not how, but…there’d only been a few times when he hadn’t used a condom and she’d told him it wasn’t a problem. He’d never fallen for that line before and he’d heard it enough. Condom was king and his “get out of jail free” card as in years of child support, a never-ending connection to the mother, and the possibility of an STD. But he hadn’t even thought about that with Gina. Had she played him? Had she only wanted a sperm donor? Was that why she’d pushed him out the door and refused to even try to work things out?
He’d told her he loved her.
She hadn’t admitted the same.
Because maybe she didn’t.
Maybe it was all about a kid.
What he knew about Gina said this was craziness; such chilly calculation wasn’t in her nature. And yet, in a way, it was. He’d watched her embrace analysis over emotion on several occasions. She’d even confessed a greater comfort with the interpretation of a spreadsheet over a conversation.
But he wasn’t a spreadsheet and neither was his kid. He smacked the steering wheel and cursed. Damn her. She was the only woman he’d ever met who could turn him upside down and make him doubt himself. When he pulled into Gina’s at dusk, he had too many questions and no answers.
Ben knocked on the door and waited. He’d thought of calling before he arrived, but why give her an opportunity to avoid him? She’d never expect him, and that’s exactly what he wanted. The element of surprise usually produced the most candid results and Gina didn’t like surprises, which meant he’d catch her off guard.
When she opened the door, he forgot for a half second that he was saturated in anger and hurt, forgot everything but the darkness of her eyes, the pink fullness of her lips.
“What are you doing here?”
The question snapped him back to his mission, reminded him that she’d withheld valuable information and, at the moment, was an adversary, and a dangerous one. “Hello, Gina.” His gaze flitted to her belly, then back to her eyes. Was that panic he’d just spotted? Good, let her panic.
“What are you doing here?” she asked again, hand on the door as if she might slam it in his face given half an opportunity.
“Are you pregnant with my baby?”
“What?” Her hand slid to her belly. “What are you talking about?”
At least she hadn’t out and out lied to him. Yet. “I asked if you were pregnant with my baby.”
She tried to laugh, but it fizzled into a muffled cough, ended with, “You’re being ridiculous.”
“And you’re avoiding the question. Now, you can let me in, or we can have this discussion on your front doorstep.” He forced a smile. “It’ll be all over town by morning. Is that how you want to play it?”
“Fine.”
Her sigh told him just how much she didn’t want to have this conversation. Too bad. She opened the door and Ben stepped inside, memories of the days and nights they’d spent here smothering him with an ache that made his chest hurt. Would it ever go away? “Can you please just tell me the truth?”
She met his gaze, her eyes bright. “Why does it matter?”
“It does.” A helluva lot.
“You’re not the baby type.”
Ben shrugged. “Not many guys are until the baby comes along.”
She squared her shoulders and said, “Yes, I’m pregnant.”
He nodded, tried to remain calm and unaffected when what he really wanted to do was pick her up, swing her around, and kiss her. Not happening. Ben shoved his hands in his pockets to keep from doing something stupid, like reach out and touch her. “How do you feel?”
She shrugged. “A little off. Morning’s aren’t so great.”
“Bet not.” He knew nothing about babies and less about pregnancy. Why would he know when he’d spent most of his adult life avoiding both? Until now. Gina was having his baby. He was going to be a father. He could learn whatever—
“I don’t want anything from you.” Pause. “I don’t even know why you’re here.”
Her words smacked him in the face, stomped on his thoughts, and shredded them into tiny pieces of nothingness. When he could find his breath, he managed a weak “What?”
“I won’t ask for child support or any help with the pregnancy. The last thing you want is to be tied to a baby and, by default, to me.”
She spoke as though she were reading a medical journal and not talking about their lives and their baby. “You’ve got it all figured out, don’t you? Gina Servetti, woman with all the answers.” He eyed her, eyed her belly, and the
nagging thought that she’d used him to get a baby took over. “Did you plan this pregnancy all along? Use me as a sperm donor?”
“A what?”
“A sperm donor; a way to get a baby without the encumbrances of a man.”
“I know what a sperm donor is,” she hissed.
“Well, did you?”
She crossed her arms over her middle, glared. “Of course not.”
She did look horrified by the prospect.
“So, the pregnancy was an accident even though you told me not to worry about it? Guess I should have—worried about it, that is.” He was glad she was pregnant. Was she?
“I told you it wasn’t an issue because I haven’t had regular periods in years. The doctor didn’t even know if I’d be able to get pregnant.”
Ben slid his gaze to her belly. “Now he knows you can.”
“Yes,” Gina said, her voice thin. “Now he knows.”
“When I came to see you before I left, did you know you were pregnant then?” When I told you I loved you? That I wanted a life with you?
She shook her head. “No.”
It was a small comfort, but at least she hadn’t known about the baby when she sent him away. He wanted to ask if she would have, had she known, but the answer might be too brutal, so he left it alone. “Gina, you don’t get to make this choice alone. I’m going to be part of this baby’s life.”
She pinned him with those sad, dark eyes. “Ben, be honest. You don’t want a baby.” Her voice dipped. “I’m giving you a way out. Take it.”
It would be easier to hear those words if he didn’t love her, but he’d never done easy. He touched her cheek, let his hand fall. “If you think I can just walk away, then you don’t really know me at all.”
***
News of Ben Reed’s return spread through Magdalena faster than last month’s grease fire in Lina’s Café. Some said the boy had come back to do the right thing by Gina. Others said he was on the run and this was the best place to hide. Still others said he had a secret life like Charlie Blacksworth.
Mimi didn’t believe the tales because she knew the truth. Ben was in love with Gina, and the boy was going to make them see that he wanted this baby. In fact, he wanted Gina, too, wedding ring and all. But convincing a girl whose parents had told her she was unlovable her whole life, not good enough, not pretty enough—not enough—well, that left wounds so deep the scabs opened at the first sign of trouble. And that was why Mimi took it upon herself to visit Gina.