***
“You own a Porsche?”
Tank pushed the button on his key ring and unlocked his car. “It was second-hand when I bought it.”
Hayley didn’t look as though she cared how many people had owned his car. “It’s beautiful.”
“I think so, too.” He’d never believed in love at first sight until he saw his fire-engine red Porsche. It was everything he’d ever wanted in a muscle car, even if the price made his eyes water.
Hayley bent down and peered in the window. “Can I sit in the driver’s seat?”
He opened the door and she slid inside.
“How fast can it go?”
“About 150 miles per hour. If you promise to stick to the speed limit you can take it for a drive.”
Her mouth dropped open. “Are you serious?”
“Have you ever known me not to be?”
“You’re too hard on yourself. You have a great sense of humor.”
“You’re only saying that because you’re sitting in the driver’s seat of a Porsche.”
Hayley’s grin was infectious. “You could be right. All you need is a pair of fluffy dice hanging from the rearview mirror and your car would be stunning.”
He knelt down beside her. “Fluffy dice would wreck the image I’ve been cultivating.”
“They could be a babe magnet. You’d be surprised how many women admire a man’s accessories.”
Tank choked back a laugh.
“It’s true.”
“You’ve got a wacky sense of humor, Hayley Elliott. Where have you been all my life?”
The smile on her face wobbled. “In Chicago looking after my family. Where were you this week? I was worried about you.”
He couldn’t look at Hayley. His meeting with Pastor Steven had left him feeling exhausted and worried. “I’ll tell you what I’ve been doing soon. Would you mind if we grabbed some coffee?”
“Sounds good. The hospital café is down the road.”
“Do you want to drive?”
“I thought you were joking.”
“Why would I do that?”
Hayley shrugged. “If I hit something, the cost of repairing your car would be more than I earn in a month.”
“Are you planning on crashing my car?”
“No, but that’s not the point.”
“We aren’t going far.” He walked around the Porsche and sat in the passenger seat. “Are you ready?”
Hayley looked over her shoulder. “There aren’t many people in the parking lot, so I guess we’re safe.” She clicked her seatbelt into place and looked for the ignition.
Tank pulled his seatbelt on and smiled. “Push the button. As long as the keys are in the vehicle, it will start.”
Hayley put the car into reverse and released the brakes. The Porsche inched backward as she carefully drove out of the park. She bit her lip as she changed gears. “I feel like I’m driving for the first time.”
“You’re doing fine. Just remember that the accelerator is touchier than in most cars.”
She stopped at an intersection and checked both ways—three times. “All we have to do is drive down Highland Boulevard. There isn’t too much traffic on the road.” She turned right, took a deep breath, then cruised along the road at fifteen miles an hour.
“You can go faster if you want to.”
Hayley shook her head. “This is fast enough.” She changed gears and released her death grip on the steering wheel.
“You’re nearly there.” Tank watched her check the rearview mirror.
“If we go anywhere else, you can drive.” She turned left and drove into the hospital parking lot.
He smiled when she stopped in an area that was a long way from the hospital’s main entrance. “Either you know a shortcut to the café or you need some exercise.”
“I don’t want to park beside the other cars in case I hit them.” Hayley turned the ignition off and sighed. “I made it.”
“How did it feel driving your first Porsche?”
“Terrifying. Thank you for trusting me.”
“If you change your mind about driving on the highway, let me know.”
She reached into the back seat for her bag. “The only vehicle I’m driving is my truck, but thanks for the offer.”
After they’d bought their coffee, Tank drove to a landscaped garden at the back of the hospital.
Hayley walked to a seat beside a small lake and sat down. “I didn’t know this garden was here.”
“Someone I work with had an accident a couple of years ago. He spent a lot of time in the hospital and I visited him when I could. We came out here to get away from the ward.” He sat beside Hayley and stared at the water. “I owe you an explanation about why I didn’t return your calls.”
“You don’t owe me anything. I kept calling because I was worried.”
He took a deep breath and thought about what he needed to say. “I have post traumatic stress disorder. Most of the time I’m fine, but this week was hard.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called you so often.”
“Don’t be. If it weren’t for you, John wouldn’t have checked on me. There’s a support group in town for people with PTSD. Pastor Steven leads the group. I saw him this afternoon.”
“Did it help?”
“I hope so. We talked about what happened with my parents. I have to tell you something.” He left his coffee beside him and wiped his hands on his jeans. His heart was pounding so hard that he could feel his pulse throbbing in his neck.
Just when he thought he wouldn’t be able to tell Hayley about his brother, she slipped her hand into his.
“It’s okay.”
“No, it’s not. I didn’t tell you the truth about David’s death.”
Her fingers tightened around his.
“David must have been warned that someone was coming. He had nine men with him and an arsenal of weapons. As soon as they saw us, they started shooting. Most of us were okay, but John was shot.”
Tank didn’t need to close his eyes to see the chaos of that night. He would never know whether his brother thought they were there to arrest him or take the drugs, but in the end it didn’t matter.
“I saw John go down. I ran toward him and started pulling him to safety. Someone attacked me from behind. We fought and I shot him.” He let go of Hayley’s hand and gripped the wooden seat either side of his legs. “It was David.”
“You shot your brother?”
He stared at the edge of the lake. “David knew the terrain and he used it to his advantage. He would have killed us to keep his drug operation a secret.”
“But he must have known he was going to get caught. You can’t do something like that and expect to live a normal life.”
“David forgot what normal was like a long time ago. I thought something was wrong, but every time I tried talking to him, he wouldn’t listen. He blamed his mood swings and aggression on what he’d been through. I’m not a psychologist; I didn’t know whether to believe him or not.”
“What happened after you shot David?”
“I thought I’d made a terrible mistake. The only reason David should have been there was if two teams had been sent to intercept the same drop-off. I pulled John and David behind a stone wall and did what I could to help them. My brother died in my arms. At that stage, I still didn’t know why he was there.”
He breathed through the panic that gripped his body and focused on the here and now. “John was stabilized in Kabul, then evacuated to a US military hospital in Germany. He stayed there for a month. After that, he came home. David’s body was flown back to the States after the Army completed their investigation.”
“What about you?”
“I stayed in Kabul while the investigation was carried out. About two weeks after David died, I was in a vehicle that was hit by an IED. I was in the hospital for a few months before being honorably discharged.”
“Are you all right now?”
; Tank closed his eyes. “My back is permanently scarred, but it’s better than being dead.”
Hayley touched his arm. The warmth of her hand burned his skin, left him as raw and vulnerable as he’d been in Afghanistan.
“I’m an emotional mess, Hayley.”
“It comes with being alive,” she said gently. “Why didn’t you tell me you shot David?”
“I was worried you’d think I was a monster. I didn’t know it was David until it was too late and I’m sure he didn’t recognize me. I killed my own brother.”
“You’re not a monster. You’re one of kindest people I’ve ever met. It must have been hard seeing your parents when you got home.”
“Mom and dad were heartbroken. David was their eldest child. He was the risk-taker, the extrovert of the family. As far as they were concerned, he could do no wrong.”
“But this time he did.”
“He let a lot of people down.” He took another deep breath. “I still haven’t told mom and dad that I shot David.”
“Oh, Tank.” Hayley took a tissue out of her bag and wiped her eyes. “I don’t know what to say, except I’m sorry it happened.”
He dropped his head to his chest. “I’m sorry, too. You’ve been honest with me from the first time I met you, and I…”
“You did what you needed to do. I can’t begin to understand what you’re going through, but I know you. You’re a good man. Your brother made an awful choice that ultimately cost him his life. You are not responsible for the decisions he made.”
“But I am responsible for his death. How am I going to tell mom and dad that I killed him?”
Hayley’s hand tightened. “The same way you told me. From your heart.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“It never is. Families are complicated. If your parents don’t understand how difficult it has been for you, then you need to give them time to think everything through. They’re your parents, Tank. Regardless of how your dad is acting, I’m sure he loves you.”
“I wish I could be that certain. Dad’s angry and I can’t say I blame him. When I tell him I shot David he’s going to be worse.”
“Maybe your mom will help him understand.”
“Mom won’t be able to fix what’s broken. I don’t think anyone can. I’m flying to Denver tomorrow. I’m going to tell my parents everything.”
“Would you like me to come with you?”
He shook his head. “I need to go on my own, but thanks.” He looked at the seat between them and picked up Hayley’s coffee. “You forgot to drink this.”
She took the cup and sighed. “I could do with something stronger.”
“I didn’t know you drank alcohol.”
“I don’t. But a triple chocolate fudge sundae would make me feel better.”
“In that case…” Tank stood and held out his hand. “We need to visit The Chocolate Moose Candy and Soda Shoppe. It has the best ice cream in Bozeman.”
Hayley’s fingers wrapped around his. “Will you be all right?”
“I don’t know, but I’m going to try.”
“That’s all you can do.” Hayley pulled him toward the parking lot. “If the ice cream tastes as good as you say it does, I’ll buy an extra tub and take it home. If you ever need to de-stress, you’ll know where to come.”
“You might regret your offer.”
“I don’t think so,” Hayley said gently. “I’m your friend and friends look out for each other.”
Tank held her hand more firmly.
He hoped his parents forgave him as easily as Hayley had. Without their support, he didn’t know if he would ever be able to forgive himself.
***
After the short plane ride to Denver, Tank parked his rental car at the beginning of his parents’ street. He needed time to center himself, to prepare what he needed to say. But there wasn’t an easy way to tell his parents he’d shot his brother. Just like there hadn’t been an easy way to tell them David was dead.
One of his parents’ neighbors ran across their front lawn and down the street. They slowed when they saw his vehicle. He gave them what he hoped was a friendly smile, but they looked as though they thought he was up to no good.
Their sudden interest was all the reason he needed to leave. He pulled away from the curb, hoping to make it into his parents’ driveway before the runner called the police.
His mom must have been waiting for him. As soon he opened his car door, she was there, wrapping her arms around him.
“It’s good to see you, Tank.”
“I’m sorry it was such short notice. How’s dad?”
Bonnie Warner had a big heart and couldn’t tell a lie to save herself. “You know your father. He takes a while to work things through.”
“Did you tell him I was coming here?”
“He knows.”
Tank looked up when the front door opened.
His dad walked toward him with a grim look on his face.
With all the things Tank had done, the situations that almost overwhelmed him, his father’s reaction worried him the most. Sweat ran down the scars on his back and fear twisted his stomach into knots. He took a deep breath and slowly exhaled.
His dad stood in front of him. “I have an apology to make.”
Tank froze.
“It isn’t your fault David was involved in drugs. I blamed you for what he’d done. I’m sorry.”
“Dad, I need to tell you something.”
Bonnie touched Tank’s arm. “Let’s go inside. I’ll make everyone a drink.”
A replay of what happened last time made Tank shake his head. His nerves were stretched to the limit and recreating their last conversation would make everything worse.
“Can we sit in the garden?” He glanced at his dad, hoping he understood why he couldn’t go inside. Not yet.
James Warner’s gaze connected with his. “There’s more?”
Tank nodded.
“We’d better sit outside, then.”
His dad led the way through the house. No one said a word as they sat on the wooden seats his parents had bought last summer.
Tank imagined Hayley beside him. She would send him an encouraging smile, the kind that made him believe he could tell his mom and dad everything. Her hand would slip into his and hold him steady, keep him anchored to the here and now. He focused on how she made him feel and looked at his parents.
“I need to tell you about the day David died. When we were stopping the drug drop-off, a SEAL in my team was shot. While I was pulling him to safety, someone attacked me from behind.” He took a deep breath before looking at his dad. “He had a gun, and I shot him. It wasn’t until he was on the ground that I realized it was David. I dragged him away from the fighting, tried to help him, but it was too late.”
His mom and dad looked as shocked as he’d been when he realized what he’d done.
His dad gripped the edge of his chair. “You killed David.”
Tank slowly nodded. His entire body felt numb. There was no sorrow, no grief, no remorse. There was nothing left inside him.
“Why didn’t you recognize each other?” his mom asked.
“It was dusk and getting darker by the minute. He hit me from behind, mom. David didn’t know I was part of the team sent to intercept the drugs. If I hadn’t stopped him he would have shot me.”
“You don’t know that,” his dad said.
“David wasn’t the same person who used to live here. He was harder and more secretive. He ambushed us and did everything he could to protect the shipment of drugs.”
His dad turned away.
Tank didn’t know what was worse—his dad’s silence or the condemnation that hit him in the chest. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you everything. I thought you’d hate me for what I did. I guess I was right.”
As he stood, his wooden chair scraped against the patio tiles. The sound echoed around the empty yard. There were so many happy memories tied to his parents’ home, memo
ries that included an older brother he’d idolized. It was hard to leave but even harder to stay.
“Where are you going?” his mom asked.
“Home.”
Bonnie stood beside him. “Sit down, Tank. I can think about what you said later. Right now, you’re my main concern. You must have been devastated when you realized you’d shot David.”
He nodded. He couldn’t begin to describe the grief that overwhelmed him and the guilt that pushed him into a black hole of depression.
His mom gave him a hug. “Sit beside me. Is there anything else you can tell us?”
“That’s all I know.” He looked from his mom to his dad’s rigid back. “I can’t change what happened. David wasn’t in the wrong place at the wrong time. He ambushed us and would have killed every man in my team if he could have.”
His mom wiped her eyes. “I don’t know why David was involved in drugs. What he did was wrong.” She looked at her husband. “James, come and sit down.”
His dad stayed where he was. “I can’t deal with this at the moment. I need to go for a walk.” And without a backward glance, his dad left.
Bonnie watched her husband walk slowly away from them. “I’m sorry, Tank. James blames himself for what happened. We never told you, but David came home six months before he died. He’d changed. Your dad tried talking to him, but he wouldn’t listen.”
“David didn’t want to talk to me either, mom.”
“I don’t understand why someone in the Army didn’t see what was going on.”
Tank sighed. “David could talk his way out of anything. I guess he fooled everyone.”
His mom rested her hand on his arm. “It will be okay, Tank. Your dad and I love you.”
“I love you, too, mom. I’ll leave you to think about what I said. I’ll be away next week, but if you want me to call you, leave a message with John Fletcher.”
His mom walked to the front gate with him. “Be careful.”
He hugged his mom tight. “I will.”
“I mean it. We care about you.”
“I’ll remember. Say goodbye to dad for me.” With a heavy heart, he waved goodbye to his mom and headed toward the airport.
It was time to go home.
Safe Haven (The Protectors Book 1) Page 14