Awares

by Piers Anthony

  One other thing: I had the sense of being watched. Now I may not be a good private eye, or even an average one, but this is basic: I know how to avoid being observed when I'm observing. No one was following me or spying on me, and I avoided surveillance cameras. So what was the source of this feeling? I trust my hunches. Someone was focusing on me, and I had no idea who it was or how it was being done. I did not pick up any hostility; it was more like a neutral study, like noting the spot on the suit of a passing businessman. But it was there.

  So here I am at the end of the day, stymied. Damned if I'll give it up, though; I just have to come up with a new angle. What can that be?

  So I went out again to the nocturnal campus, after classes had finished and the buildings were locked. There was really no point in it; I just somehow thought maybe I could get a notion there. I went to the place near the surveillance camera, just beyond its range so that my presence wouldn't activate it, and stood alone. “Where are you, Adela?” I asked the emptiness rhetorically.

  “I am here,” she replied behind me. I jumped, surprised; I had been certain I was alone.

  There she was, as pretty as her picture, definitely alive. “Adela, I could hug you!” I exclaimed stupidly in my astonishment.

  “As you wish.” She stepped close, opening her lovely arms to me.

  What could I do? I hugged her. She was completely solid and real and delightful in her limber slenderness. She smelled faintly of new mown hay, an unusual perfume. I was already coming to love her. I had studied her, trying to fathom her likely situation, and come to know her well enough. She was my ideal girl. Yes, I know: a PI never gets emotionally involved with a client. An excellent rule. I never said I was a good PI, did I? “But why!” I asked as she let me go.

  “We must talk, Yon,” she said. So she knew my name. She must have been the one watching me.

  “Whatever you wish. I presume you know that I'm a private dick hired to find you?”

  “Of course. And you have found me. But this is not the place to talk.”

  “Lead on, doll,” I said gallantly.

  She smiled, appreciating my feeble attempt to be a smart-ass dick, and led me to a room in an unoccupied building. She sat me down on a work bench. “We will not be disturbed here.”

  “Adela, you know your folks are worried sick about you,” I said. “They don't know whether you're alive or dead.”

  “I know, and I regret it. But I must cease to exist.”

  “Then why did you contact me? You know I have to report to your folks.”

  “You must not.”

  “I have to! That's what they hired me for.”

  “No. No report.”

  “Adela--”

  She cut me off with a sudden kiss. It had its intended effect: it rendered me speechless.

  “I will tell you about us. You must agree to make no report,” she repeated.

  I opened my mouth to protest.

  She kissed me again. I did not get my mouth closed in time, and she tongued me. She was young but clearly no innocent.

  I got the message. “No report,” I agreed. “Anything you tell me will be like client/attorney privilege.”

  “Exactly. You may tell my folks just one thing: that I am alive and well, and love them. That they should stop hunting for me. They need to let me go.”

  “I will tell them that,” I agreed. “But--”

  She pursed her lips.

  “But no more,” I concluded, yielding to the inevitable.

  She smiled. “Thank you.”

  “But I still have a question. This one's for me. Why tell me anything, if I can't relay it?”

  “I don't know.”

  “You don't know! Adela, it makes no sense to contact me without good reason.”

  “I agree.”

  “So what is your reason?”

  “I don't know.”

  I eyed her. “Will you stifle me again if I try to say the obvious?”

  “Do you want me to?”

  My foolish eagerness for another kiss warred with what little was left of my professional ethics. “Why don't I just shut up and you tell me what you choose to, off the record. Then you can kiss me if you care to.”

  “That will do,” she agreed. “I am an Aware. That is, I know exactly what to do in any situation. I don't know why, only what. That gives me more power than you might think. For example, I can disappear.”

  “You did that before. That's why your family hired me.”

  “Like this.”

  She disappeared. I was looking right at her, and she faded out. I blinked, but she did not reappear. “Adela, are you there?”

  “I am here,” she said behind me.

  I twisted on the bench. There she stood, touchingly close. “You have an invisibility cloak?”

  “No. I merely know how to escape notice. You were focusing on me so hard that you continued to see me where I had been, even through I moved. Then you realized I was gone. I never became invisible, merely unnoticeable.”

  “I have trouble believing that. I'm a trained observer, and--”

  She disappeared again.

  “Point made,” I said quickly. “But it sure looks like invisibility.”

  She reappeared. “But it's harder to do when there is more than one person, so we tend to avoid crowds. And of course cameras aren't fooled.”

  “Cameras!” I said. “The surveillance camera showed you, and then the next one didn't.”

  “I became Aware, and knew to avoid the next one,” she explained. “But I'm not comfortable where the cameras are; it is too much effort to avoid them all. Similarly it's awkward not being able to use credit cards, or the Internet, or anything that leaves a record. It's also somewhat lonely, because I can't talk to regular people, only other Awares.”

  “You could if you chose to,” I pointed out. “You're talking to me now.”

  “Yes. I don't understand that, but there's surely a reason.”

  “It can't be my great looks or magnetic personality,” I said.

  “True.”

  I had half hoped she wouldn't agree with my self disparagement. Oh, well. “You say Awares, plural. So there are others.”

  “Yes, and you will meet them too, if they choose.”

  “So these disappearances—all those folk are all right?”

  “Not all. Some are genuine abductions and murders. But most of the recent ones in this area are Awares like me.”

  “So is there anything else you care to tell me?”

  She shrugged. “Maybe.”

  “Let's face it, Adela, you haven't told me much. Just that there are Awares who can pretend to be invisible, and who don't seem to care about their grieving families.”

  “We care. We just can't return to them.”

  I sighed. “So is there anything else you care to show me or tell me? Before you fade out again, leaving me to think it was a dream?”

  “Yes, now that you mention it. We're pretty much invulnerable.”

  “Like the man of steel?”

  “No. We merely avoid trouble. I can demonstrate. Fire your pistol at me.”

  “I wouldn't do that!”

  “Then pretend to.”

  Reluctantly I drew my Glock and pointed it at her with the safety on. “Bang! You're dead.”

  “No, you missed me.”

  “At this range? I'm not a perfect shot, but this is point-blank.”

  “Maybe another way. Grab me.”

  I put away the gun. Then without looking directly at her I suddenly grabbed her arm.

  My hand closed on nothing. She had moved just at that moment.

  I grabbed again, this time lunging, both arms extended. And missed her again. She was as elusive as a greased eel. “You've had training,” I said.

  “No. I simply know where to be to remain clear. Its part of being Aware.”

  I tried once more, this time grabbing for her knee so she couldn't dodge. All I got was a wicked glimpse at her pink panties
as she lifted her leg clear.

  “But if I already had hold of you, you couldn't escape,” I said, disgruntled.

  “Take my hand.” She proffered it.

  I held her hand. I put my other hand on her wrist, clamping it tightly.

  She stepped into me and kissed me. I had forgotten about that tactic. I found myself standing there in a spot trance, empty handed.

  “Point made,” I said. “I can't catch you or hold you unless you want me to. But what is the point of all this? You can't be flirting with me for no reason.”

  “I suppose I am flirting,” she said, surprised. “You are sort of cute in your bumbling way.”

  I let that pass. “So what is the reason?”

  “I don't know.”

  I should have seen that coming. “Then let me guess: you're lonely, and I'm convenient, so you're teasing me until you get bored. Then you'll fade out and I'll never see you again. No way can I hold you without your acquiescence. So I'm safe to play with.”

  “Maybe that's it,” she agreed thoughtfully.

  I hated it when she refused to disagree. “Let's get serious. I can go tell your folks you are okay. No more than that, per our deal. But it would be better if you told them yourself.”

  “No.”

  “Here's why: if I tell them they'll think I'm making it up, since I'll have no tangible evidence and won't go into details. They'll keep right on looking for you, maybe hire another dick. One's who's less bumbling and cute. So I'm just wasted time. Or.”

  She took the hook. “Or?”

  “Or you can come with me and show them that you're okay. Tell them you're on a special secret mission that they must not even admit exists, and that if they keep looking for you they'll only put your mission and you in peril. So they can relax, knowing as much as they need to. Then they'll stop looking, and you'll be more anonymous than you are now. That's not only more effective, it's far kinder to them. Because you do love them.”

  “You're actually making sense,” she said, surprised. “You can tell them and I'll confirm. You're a better liar than I am.”

  I could have gotten annoyed, if she weren't so pretty. “In person?”

  “Yes.”

  “Okay.” I pounced while it was hot. “Come now. Ride anonymously in my car. I'll warn them about the conditions, then you meet them, then you go, and it's done.”

  “That must be why I'm talking with you,” she said. “Because you can help me. I just didn't know exactly how.”

  “This way,” I said, walking out of the room.

  She came with me, to my relief. I led her to my car, and she got in and I drove her to her folks house. “I'll go in first,” I said. “Then you come in when your sense tells you it's time.”

  “Yes.” She kissed my ear. There was that new mown hay fragrance again. It almost made me want to take up farming. “Thank you.”

  “God, I wish you were my girlfriend for real!” I said. Oh to roll in the hay with this doll. But I had the wit to stifle that part. Then I got out of the car and walked to the front door.

  Her mother answered. “Yon Yonson. You hired me. I have a report to make,” I said. “I found Adela.”

  “Come in!” she said gladly.

  In their living room I explained. “I found her, but she's on a special mission. Not allowed to tell anyone about it. But I prevailed on her to tell you herself, so you wouldn't worry any more. Then you'll have to let her go. It's better that way.”

  “Anything!” her father said. “Just so we know she's alive and well.”

  “She is both,” I said. “Adela?” I hoped she hadn't changed her mind.

  “I am here,” she said from an interior doorway.

  “Adela!” her mother cried, almost flying to her.

  They hugged, and tears flowed freely, Adela's as well as her mother's. I saw that Adela had really wanted to do this all along, but had not seen her way clear until I gave her the rationale. She was after all an ordinary smart beautiful girl who had suddenly achieved an extraordinary power and could use some guidance. I was supremely glad to have had the wit to give it.

  After that joyful reunion Adela bid them adieu and returned to the doorway she had appeared in. Her mother thought of one more thing to tell her, but she was gone, as I knew she would be.

  “I believe this concludes our association,” I told them. “You paid me in advance, and I have delivered what I could. Mainly, I think, peace of mind.”

  “We are satisfied,” her father agreed. “Her mission is surely important.”

  “Surely so,” I agreed. “I don't know what it is myself, but she is persuasive.”

  “She was always that,” he agreed.

  I left them and returned to my car. Sure enough, Adela was there. “I am so grateful for what you did, Yon. I am almost sorry your mission is over.”

  I started the car and drove back the way we had come. “I am twice as sorry. I have known you only briefly, but--” I halted. What was the point?

  “I shouldn't have flirted. You were right: I was lonely, and I took it out on you. I'm sorry.”

  I took a flying leap at the moon. What did I have to lose? “Our association doesn't have to end just because my assignment did. I can still help you.”

  “Can you?” I hoped it wasn't my eager imagination that made her seem interested.

  “There are other Awares. They must be in a similar situation. They need to connect with their families the way you did, so that nobody continues to look for them. I can act as go-between, if that will help.”

  “I think it would,” she said.

  Now I bounded on toward the sun. “You folk can't use credit cards or Internet sites or anything, because those all have records galore. But I can. I can do things for you, using private personal anonymous accounts that can be traced back only to me, never to you. I can be your interface with the material world. If you trust my discretion.”

  “That would certainly help,” she agreed. “But why would you do it? We can't pay you.”

  “Not in money.”

  She paused, considering. “Are you making a pass at me?”

  Now I leaped for the rest of the Solar system. “Yes.”

  “Why?”

  “Why do you think, you exquisite creature? You fascinate me.”

  “But you know I can vanish at any time without notice.”

  “I hope you will choose to stay around long enough for a date.”

  She was silent a moment. “I'll consider it.”

  “Do that.” I was elated, though chances were at least even that it would come to nothing. I glanced at her, but she was gone. I was alone in the car.

  I drove home and gobbled some vittles, deep in thought. Would the Awares really take me up on my offer? Would Adela get halfway friendly with me? I could only hope.

  I cleaned up and slept. I dreamed of Adela. It wasn't just that she was young and pretty. It was that she had literal magic, and if she came into my embrace it would be because she liked me. I wanted her to like me. I envied her that special Awareness and wanted to be as near to it as I could be. But mainly I just wanted to kiss her and have it mean something more than just shutting me up.

  In the morning I made ready to go out again. Would Adela come to me? Actually she could have joined me in the night if she had wanted to. So I fought to maintain my realism. What would be would be.

  Then as I set foot on the street, heading for my car, I felt something. I was being watched, again, but this time I knew who was doing it. A man in a car parked across the street, theoretically reading a newspaper. An amateur private eye; I knew the type. And a girl standing on the sidewalk. Adela. I knew that no one else noticed either of them. I was also aware of everything else in the vicinity. If I stood just so, in the shadow of a lamppost, no one else would notice me either. Except the two Awares.

  Then it passed. Normality resumed. I realized that I had just suffered a siege of Awareness myself. Now I knew what it felt like!

  Adela
and the man were gone, though the car remained. But now I knew what was what. I walked across to the empty car. “Check me out all you want,” I said. “I won't interfere with you. Adela's got me tethered.” Then I returned to my apartment.

  And that's where I am at the moment, waiting on their decision. I've made my entry; I'll put this gimcrack away until next time, and we'll see. I've got the feeling something's going to happen soon.

  It did. They decided to let me be their liaison with the material world. Starting with their families. I approached each of their families, explaining that I had news of their missing children, and would prove it if they gave me a chance. Some were suspicious, but I carried authentic letters of introduction. So they agreed to the conditions; they had to. In due course we went to each family, and had the same joyful/ tearful reunions, followed by departure. Overall, it was a good thing, in more than one way.

  Oh, yeah, the letters: each Aware made sure to quietly recover his or her letter before leaving, so that there would be no physical evidence of the contact. So that the families could not inadvertently betray them.

  I did not set up any formal accounts, because those too could be traced. I just made sure to get anything any Aware asked for, anonymously, and handed it over. Or to do any little thing they needed done, like destroying embarrassing pictures or diaries so they would never be discovered. Teens these days can do the most foolish things!

  And Adela rewarded me with her increasing favor. In fact--

  Chapter 3:

  Contact

  Elasa opened her eyes. She had almost succeeded in being the protagonist as she listened to the recordings. One mystery solved, leading to another: what had happened to Yon Yonson? But that one was readily solved: he had turned Aware and joined the other Awares. That one siege of Awareness he had experienced must have been a precursor to the later conversion.