by Meara Platt
He lifted the lid just enough to peek under it.
“What is it?” Nathaniel asked.
He pulled the lid off completely. “Breast of goose,” he said, staring down at his plate.
His friends burst out laughing, finding the jest at his expense quite hilarious. He would have been laughing, too, if he weren’t the butt of the joke. “Point made, Goose. Go back upstairs and change into something less provocative.”
He expected a gloating, triumphant look from the girl, for she’d certainly gotten the better of him. But this was softhearted Goose. She looked flustered and remorseful she might have made a fool of him. “Thad and Nathaniel lied to us and made up these ridiculous stories about the sort of women you loved. I really meant to tease them. Well, really tease all of you. But I’m sorry, Beast. I never meant to be cruel. Never to you. Please don’t be angry with me.”
His blood began to heat. He wasn’t angry so much as suddenly feeling ridiculously protective of the girl. He wanted to take her in his arms and tell her… he wasn’t certain what he wanted to tell her, for she had him quite off stride at the moment. He hadn’t taken offense. He liked she wasn’t afraid to tease him or his friends.
“You see, The Book of Love says–”
“That damn book of spells again.”
“It’s scientific. I’ve told you. There are no spells in it.”
He drew her up beside him. “Scientific, my arse. Your… damn it, Goose. Your chest is spilling out of that gown.”
Now he was sounding like an old goat.
“How is that possible? I’m wearing a day gown and covered up to my neck. But you can’t draw your gaze away, can you?” Her eyes suddenly widened and she cast him a genuinely surprised smile. “You responded just as the book predicted.”
Feminine laughter and masculine chortles filled his ears. He was betrayed not only by his mind and body, but by his traitorous friends as well.
He raked a hand through his hair. “Am I to be your test frog for the week? Is this how I’m to be repaid for my friendship?”
She gave a wincing nod. “It sounds awful when you put it that way. I’d rather think of it as–”
“Spare me the details.” He took her by the shoulders and turned her to face the door. “You’re going upstairs. You’re going to take out whatever the hell you stuffed in there, and then come back downstairs with that book. You have five minutes to make yourself decent before I come up after you.”
Lord, was he considering standing for the office of prime minister? He couldn’t even handle Goose.
She fled the room, grinning.
Penelope and Poppy ran after her.
“Bollocks,” he muttered, casting his friends a scathing glance.
Thad grinned and tossed him an imaginary ball.
“What are you doing?”
“Giving ye back yer eyeballs. They popped out of their sockets and rolled onto the floor when Goose walked in with her majestic assets on grand display.” He grinned again and tossed him another imaginary ball. “And that one’s your tongue. I almost tripped over it when it flapped to the floor.”
He turned accusingly to Nathaniel. “Were you looking at her, too?”
“Don’t growl at me, Beast. I couldn’t help it. None of us could. Wasn’t that the point of her experiment?” He shook his head and laughed. “Are we men truly that shallow? Is that all we think about?”
“Of course not.” He growled again and began to pace. “We are honorable and wise.” Although he was feeling rather stupid at the moment. “We are trustworthy. But other men are not. Goose is playing with fire and I don’t want to see her burned.”
“Nor do we,” Thad admitted. “What do you want us to do?”
“Help me put a stop to her ridiculous experiments.” But Goose was now inspired by her victory and she was also desperate to find love before the Season was over. She would never agree to give up on her quest.
His blood was still a hot boil when Goose returned downstairs with her book in hand. “Come with me,” he growled, taking her by the elbow without awaiting her response.
She frowned at him and resisted. “Where are we going?”
“To the shade tree near the pond.”
She eyed him warily. “Why?”
He stared at the book and then at her. Lord, she had a beautiful face. When had that happened? And why was he only noticing it now? “You’re going to teach me all about love.”
Chapter Eight
“Wait, Beast. Slow down.” Olivia was trying her best to keep up with him, but his strides were twice the length of hers, and he was wearing trousers that hugged his muscled thighs while she had on a muslin gown that kept twisting around her legs. “You’re walking too fast for me.”
He’d kept a gentle grip on her arm as he drew her along the familiar path toward the pond. Were she not in such a rush, she would have stopped to admire the soft morning light that fell across the meadow and glistened over the water. Were she not breathless, she would have paused to inhale the fresh country air and knelt to take in the sweet scent of dew that clung to the flowers growing wild along the path. “Don’t think to toss the book into the pond. I’ll jump in after it.”
He stopped to stare at her with marked impatience. “Can you swim?”
“No, my parents thought it best never to teach me. They didn’t want me to go in the pond again after the day I fell in and hit my head. I expect I would have died if you hadn’t been there to rescue me.” She tipped her chin up in defiance. “So, you had better be prepared to dive in to save me again if you throw that book into the water.”
He ran a hand raggedly through his hair. “Goose, you are being ridiculous.”
“I’m being the only way I know how to be. And I’d hardly call my attempt to find love and happiness ridiculous. Don’t you want it for yourself? Why can’t I have the same? The only difference is that I must find it now. I don’t have the luxury of waiting for it to find me.”
He walked ahead in silence, and she hurried to keep up with him, hoping her words had penetrated enough to keep him from doing damage to the book.
She’d never forgive him if he did.
To her relief, he motioned for her to sit on the fallen log that rested beside the water’s edge and then surprised her by handing over the book. “Let’s set some ground rules,” he said, his jaw clenched and muscles tense as he began to pace in front of her like a restless, prowling lion. “First rule, I’m not to be used as your test frog.”
“You were never that.”
He cast her a dubious glance. “Then what would you call what you were doing to me?”
She sighed. “Please sit down and stop scowling at me. I’ll tell you whatever it is you wish to know. I’ve already said I will never lie to you.”
He emitted a soft growl to mark his displeasure, but did as she asked. “Start talking,” he said, stretching out on the grass beside her and propping himself up on his elbows.
She nodded, wishing he wasn’t so angry with her, for he looked big and wonderful and made her wish desperately that this book was magical. She needed to find a good man and make him fall in love with her. More important, she needed not to fall in love with Beast while going about it.
He was a war hero. He was a wealthy and powerful duke who might very well be England’s next prime minister. He was sought after by royal princesses. “You are not a mere test frog. You are the knight in shining armor that every girl dreams about.”
The notion appeared to surprise him. “Goose…”
“Well, you are. Isn’t it obvious? Women adore you and men worship you.” She emitted a ragged breath. “You have all the best qualities a girl would seek in a husband.”
“That’s news to me.” He arched an eyebrow in obvious amusement, but allowed her to continue.
“I’m not trying to trick you into a marriage proposal. I respect you too much to ever do that. Besides, I know it is an impossibility. You can reach for the stars. I can only
hope to escape my goose pen. However, if the science in this book helps me gain your notice and makes you like me even a little, then it will work on any man. You are the paragon. The unattainable grail.”
He groaned. “That is utter nonsense. I am a one-eyed warhorse with a surly nature and a disdain for Society’s vapid entertainments. Parties bore me. I hate dancing. And I’m too blunt for my own good. Most women are afraid of me.”
“That’s because you’re big and rugged and always growl at them with marked impatience. But if you were to soften your growl and smile on occasion, you’d be devastating to any young woman’s heart.”
He laughed. “But then I’d be someone other than myself.”
She shook her head and laughed along with him. “Oh, Beast. You’re perfect as you are. I know it, but you refuse to show your true self to others. I suppose it is your natural wariness, your desire not to reveal too much of yourself until you are ready to trust.”
“Goose, enough about me. It’s you who needs my help.”
She rolled her eyes. “I needed a big fat miracle to drop on my lap. In truth, it dropped on my head, didn’t it? And then you magically appeared in the bookshop. I’m enjoying this week because of you. I would have been stuck in London with Lord Gosling and the unsavory men he seems to have gathered around him. I am forever in your debt for coming to my rescue. You are an essential part of my miracle. You and the book. I need you both. So please don’t toss it into the water. Or rip it to shreds. Or burn it.”
“Is my intention so obvious?”
“Yes. I know you detest what I am doing. But let me explain it to your satisfaction and then we’ll move on to the next part of this experiment. You see…” She paused and swallowed hard, the little pulse at the base of her neck beating more rapidly as she considered her next words. Goodness, how was she to discuss male urges without her skin flushing with embarrassment? “You see, men are different from women.”
He arched an eyebrow. “I’ve noticed.”
“Er, yes. You certainly have.” She smiled at him, but it quickly faded when he did not smile back. Obviously, Beast was not amused. “And that was precisely my first task, to get you to notice me as a woman and not as a little girl. You see, men look to women to procreate.”
He sat up. “Goose!”
She frowned at him. “Well, they do. Every female is a potential vessel into which a healthy male intends to spill his seed.”
He sank back and groaned. “This is preposterous.”
“Let me finish. You’ll see the truth of it when I’m done.” She closed her eyes as she began to speak, for Beast was angry and casting her that fierce, hungry lion look again. “When a man looks at a woman, he is making a series of quick assessments regarding her ability to bear his children. Is she too old? Too young? Too frail?” She opened her eyes to check his response and frowned at him when she saw he was about to protest. He shook his head and simply allowed her to continue. “And while a man will ultimately peruse a woman’s entire body, his first gaze is on her… breasts.”
“Why?”
“Because they are the source of life, the source of milk for his newborn children. So, if he does not like the look of her, um… those, then he will pass her over as a suitable mate.”
“So, by stuffing your bosom, your purpose was to make me notice your chest?”
She nodded. “You’d taken notice yesterday morning after the spider incident, but I needed to reinforce your approval by that silly trick this morning. And I didn’t stuff my gown with anything.”
“You didn’t?” He appeared stunned. “Are you saying that was all you?”
“Yes. I just had on a different corset, one made of stiff whalebone that pushed me up, and then I tightened it until I could hardly breathe. It was most uncomfortable. Rest assured, I will not be doing that again any time soon.”
“Mother in heaven,” he murmured.
“By your response these past two mornings, I’ve learned two very important things. First, that you have found me to be a suitable vessel for your seed.”
He groaned. “Stop talking like that. You are not a damn urn.”
“And second, you want to spill your seed into me.”
He shot to his feet. “Goose–”
She remained seated on the log, trying to appear calm although she wasn’t at all. Her hands tightened on the book. If he meant to toss it into the water, he’d have to toss her in, too. She wasn’t letting go of the book. “Sit down, Beast. Let me finish. I’ve now described your simple brain response. But now we must move on to the hard part, your complex brain. This is where I need your cooperation.”
She looked up at him, hoping he’d sink back onto the grass, but he stood before her with his arms folded across his powerful chest, looking impossibly magnificent. “Please, I cannot do this alone.”
He began to pace in front of her, once again a big, angry lion on the prowl. “And how am I supposed to cooperate?”
“By allowing me to experiment with your five senses. Sight, touch, taste, hearing, and scent.”
Thankfully, he stopped prowling and knelt beside her. “Why?”
“Because I have to know what works and what doesn’t work. Your simple brain has accepted me, we know that. But it has also accepted hundreds of other women.”
“Hundreds?”
She nodded. “Perhaps thousands.”
“Blast it, Goose! What sort of man do you think I am?”
She frowned at him. “The best sort. I’m not suggesting that you acted upon the urging of your simple brain every time a suitable woman passed your way. But it is also obvious your complex brain has rejected every woman so far. You are not married. Nor are you courting anyone.” She inhaled sharply, realizing she’d made an assumption that might not be correct. Just because he’d rejected the Austrian princess didn’t mean he wasn’t interested in someone else. “You aren’t courting anyone, are you?”
He eyed her warily. “No, I’m not.”
Nor did he have any intention to, judging by his unamused tone. “This is why you are so perfect for these experiments. Since your complex brain has rejected everyone, it is my goal to have you accept me. In order to accomplish that goal, you have to find me uniquely suited to you. Indeed, so unique that no other female will do for you. I must become the most desirable reproductive vessel of your acquaintance.”
“Stop referring to yourself as that.”
She frowned at him again. “Fine. Forget about the vessel business. I must become the most desirable woman of your acquaintance. But how do I do that?”
He arched his one good eyebrow, the one not covered by his eyepatch. “Is that a question I’m supposed to answer?”
“No, it is merely conjecture. The Book of Love claims a male will take that next step and consider the female suitable as his chosen mate, meaning marriage, once a deeper connection is made between him and the object of his desire. I don’t necessarily have to be regarded as beautiful by everyone, just you. You are the only man whose opinion matters. You are the one who must look at me and think that I am beautiful in your eyes.”
“Or in my case, in my one good eye.”
She sighed, wishing his tone wasn’t so flippant. It was proof of his disdain for the scientific ideas in the book. Well, she hadn’t expected him to be an easy subject. “My voice doesn’t have to be particularly lilting or musical, but you must consider it pleasing to your ears. Same for my scent, it must arouse the pleasure sensations in your body.”
“Pleasure sensations? Arousal? Goose, if that book describes the act of sex, I am going to toss it into the pond.”
“It does nothing of the sort. It is scientific. I’ll have to purchase quite another sort of book if I want to learn about the act of sex. Perhaps Miss Billings will have what I need in her Wellesford bookshop,” she said, referring to the little shop located in the closest town to Sherbourne Manor and Gosling Hall. It was run by a delightful young woman who was the new shopkeeper.
&
nbsp; Wellesford was only a half-hour walk from here, and she hoped they might go tomorrow if the weather held up.
As he drew closer, his expression still thunderous, she scrambled to the edge of the log and protectively clasped the book to her chest again. She gave a little squeal as she slid along the rough bark, for splinters of wood jutted from it and pricked her derriere. Fortunately, none had dug deep enough to pierce beyond the muslin fabric of her gown into her undergarments. She easily brushed off the splinters with a few quick pats.
Beast chuckled. “Need help?”
“Stop being a beast and start cooperating.” She gave her derriere a final pat and moved closer to him once more. “Where was I? Oh, yes. I’ve just mentioned the senses of sight, hearing, and scent. There’s also the sense of touch. It is important that you take pleasure in the touch of my skin.”
Still scowling at her, he took one of her hands in his and gently stroked his thumb over it. “You mean like this?”
She nodded, her throat suddenly dry. His touch was exceedingly pleasant, his hand warm and protectively enveloped around hers. Did her pleasure show? Could he feel the hot tingles spreading through her body? “It would be more effective if you stopped giving me that angry lion look.”
His expression softened, but he did not release her hand. Indeed, he looked quite handsome with that seductive grin now on his face. “Better?” he asked, his voice a deep rumble that sent more tingles shooting through her body.
It wasn’t fair. Obviously, he’d done this before. Flirted with women. But no one had ever flirted with her before. She wasn’t prepared for the sudden pleasure to her own sense receptacles.
“And what of the taste of you?” He leaned forward ever so slowly, his lips tipped up to reveal his amusement.
“I suppose that means kissing.” She licked her lips. “Why are you looking at me that way? How else can you taste me? I’m not a food to be eaten.”
He emitted a soft growl. “There are other ways to taste a woman’s body.”