“Wait a moment. You seriously want to marry him?”
It wasn’t until then that Alice realized she did want to marry Hampshire. She had fallen in love with the educated, kind-hearted man who treated her like a princess. Nobody had done that with her before. She jabbed a finger at Harriet, resisting the urge to slap her. “I told you it was going to be messy, Harriet. Now I’ve fallen for a man who thinks I’m you. How do you think I should feel after that?” She stormed past and headed for the door. “You’ve done enough. Now leave me alone.”
She slammed the door after her. It wasn’t a good substitute for what she really wanted to do but it would do for then.
It wasn’t until she was entering her room that Alice burst into tears.
***
Hampshire was confused at what had happened. He had thought he would be able to propose to Harriet, she would accept, and they could be happy. Now, he was sitting in his study staring out the window and wondering where it had gone wrong.
Harriet had seemed genuinely happy with his company, except the day before she left. Hampshire had enjoyed those times when it was just them, with Middlesex as their chaperone. She had been all smiles and laughter. Hampshire liked that part of her.
But now… he had no clue what to do. He had written two letters to her, trying to figure out what he had done wrong. But Harriet hadn’t answered as yet. In his gut, Hampshire knew he wouldn’t get an answer.
It was like Harriet had washed her hands of him.
Hampshire was beginning to worry that Harriet had been leading him on and humouring him. It made him feel sick that she had been thinking it was fun making him believe she actually cared about him. Hampshire had thought Harriet was genuine.
Clearly, she was not.
Chapter 7
In Search of
an Explanation
T here was a gentle knock at the door. Middlesex entered, closing the door behind him.
“Hampshire?”
Hampshire turned. It was a relief to see his closest friend. “Thank you for meeting me at this time of night, Middlesex.”
“No problem.” Middlesex approached the desk. He was carrying a newspaper, and he didn’t look happy. “What’s going on?”
“I need your help.” Hampshire turned and sat up, leaning on the desk with his elbows. “I need you to get me to see Harriet Green.”
“Why? What’s happened?”
“You remember when I told you that I was going to ask Harriet to marry me last week?”
“Yes.”
“Well, I did. I asked her to marry me that night, and she turned me down.” Hampshire rubbed his hands over his face. “But she wouldn’t tell me why. It’s been going over and over in my head. She won’t respond to my letters, and I haven’t heard a word about her. I don’t know what to do.”
“She turned you down?” Middlesex slanted an eyebrow at him. “Who would turn a duke down as handsome as you?”
Hampshire scowled. “It’s not funny, Middy.”
“Seriously, though, what do you think you’re going to do? Beg her to marry you?”
“If that’s what it takes.”
Hampshire wasn’t about to walk away now. One thing that very few people knew about him was that he was stubborn. When he saw something or someone he wanted, Hampshire went out and took what was his. In his mind, Harriet Green belonged to him, and he wasn’t about to stop until he got a proper explanation as to why she would turn him down.
Middlesex looked troubled by that. He unfolded the newspaper. “You might have a problem with that.” He laid the paper onto the desk. “Take a look at the banns. This is the afternoon edition.”
Hampshire frowned. What was Middlesex talking about? He scanned the columns in front of him. Halfway through the banns page, he saw a name that jumped out at him. Hampshire read it again.
And again.
He couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
“She’s getting married? To the Earl of Lancaster?”
“I’m afraid so.”
When was that meant to have happened? It was very recent, and Harriet had been in his presence for most of the past few weeks. The earl had never been around them at all. When was she supposed to have accepted a proposal from him?
Was it before she came up to his estate? Did she have someone else in mind but took advantage of his hospitality?
Hampshire could feel the anger building.
“She was leading me on,” he snarled, his hands clenching into fists. “That little…”
“None of that.” Middlesex clamped his hands over his ears. “My delicate little ears won’t be able to take it.”
“Shut up.” Hampshire slammed his hands on the desk and shoved the newspaper away from him. It flew off the desk and fell in sheets to the floor. “I can’t believe she did that to me. She led me on.”
“Maybe that’s the reason you were looking for.” Middlesex began picking up the papers. “She was waiting for an engagement from Lancaster and didn’t want to cut her losses with you.”
“And then if that didn’t happen she would come back to me asking for another chance.” Hampshire pushed away from his desk, reaching for his empty glass. “I will not be played.”
He threw the glass at the fireplace across the room. It exploded into thousands of shards across the hearth and the carpet. Middlesex hurried around to his side and grabbed Hampshire’s wrist before he grabbed the paperweight.
“Take it easy, Hampshire. There’s no need to get worked up.”
“Get worked up?” Hampshire’s hand itched to punch his friend. He resorted to pushing him off. “You weren’t the one who proposed to her in a horse’s stall! The only thing I’m glad about is I didn’t do it in front of everyone.”
That was the only saving grace. Hampshire wasn’t one for public performances so he had planned for a private proposal where there wouldn’t be any pressure or embarrassment. Now he was glad it had been done like that.
Middlesex sighed and eased the paperweight away, tossing it from hand to hand.
“All you can do now is forget about her, Hampshire,” he said sagely. “You going off like this will show that she succeeded in getting you rattled. She wants to play with you and it’ll work if you show it.”
Hampshire grunted and turned away, glaring out the window.
“It’s already worked.”
***
Alice couldn’t be around her family any longer. All they would talk about was Harriet’s upcoming wedding. Nothing but wedding colours, the guest list, and where to hold it. Harriet was even gushing about her future husband taking her to France for their honeymoon.
Alice was sick of hearing about it. It just reminded her of what Hampshire had offered her but Alice had to turn away. She had been given a proposal meant for her sister, and Alice felt sick about it.
It was getting to be too much.
After a week of listening to nothing but wedding planning, Alice decided enough was enough. She was going to take some time away from her parents and from her sister. Annabelle guessed that something was wrong, but Alice wouldn’t tell her. Harriet and Lancaster were just wrapped up in their little worlds. So Alice had packed and gone to Surrey. Her mother’s sister, Clara, lived in Guildford with her husband, Baron Stuart Gatesby, and she had offered Alice a while back to come and stay whenever she felt like she needed to get away from London.
Alice was going to take her up on it.
The letter arrived mere hours before Alice. Clara knew it was short-notice, but she was very accommodating. She welcomed Alice inside and fussed over her. Baron Gatesby did as well, both seeming to sense that Alice needed some attention and comfort. Alice appreciated it. Neither of them asked why she was upset, they just took one look at her and tried to make her comfortable.
They were going to ask soon, but Alice wasn’t about to complain about the solitude.
She had hoped leaving would make her feel better, being away from her family and the talk of weddings. But it
was always there in the back of her mind, appearing when Alice was least expecting it. It just made her mood dip even lower.
One day in her second week, Clara found Alice on the back terrace. The weather was a little milder than it had been previously, so Alice was making the most of getting some fresh air. She sat at a table out back, wrapped in a shawl with a book on the table and staring out at the gardens.
“Alice?”
Alice jumped and looked up at the tall, redheaded woman wearing green, frowning down at her. She sat up.
“Aunt Clara. What time is it?”
“Lunchtime.” Clara went to the wall and sat on the cool stones. “But the cook is running behind. How are you feeling, darling?”
Alice wanted to say she was doing fine and get Clara to leave her alone. But she couldn’t lie. Close as she was to her mother, Alice was closer to her aunt. She shook her head and looked down at her hands.
“Not good. I thought this would make me better. But I’ve ended up in my own thoughts too much and that’s not what I wanted.”
Clara looked worried. She sat forward, brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes. “What’s going on? Annabelle wrote to me and said you were upset about something, but you refused to say what. You’ve been telling her that you’re unwell but she doesn’t think that’s the case.” She tilted her head to the side. “What’s going on, Alice?”
Alice bit her lip, her hands twisting in her lap. Clara was going to be angry. She knew it. But Alice couldn’t stop herself from bursting into tears.
“Oh, Aunt Clara,” she sobbed. “I messed up. I got dragged into something I should’ve said no to.”
Clara’s expression didn’t change. She stood and gently tugged Alice to standing. Then she tucked Alice’s hand into the crook of her elbow and walked her down the steps of the terrace and into the garden.
“Talk to me,” she urged gently. “Start from the beginning.”
Chapter 8
The Confrontation
A lice did. She told Clara everything, from when Harriet made her take her place at the theatre, through going to Hampshire’s estate still pretending to be Harriet, and how Hampshire proposed to her. Once she started, she couldn’t stop. When she was finished, Clara looked understandably outraged. Alice didn’t know with whom she was more angry.
“Harriet said you were to do that?”
“Yes.” Alice nodded. “She was being irresponsible and didn’t want to cut her losses on either, even though she had made her choice. I know I should’ve said no at the start but I can never say no to my sister and she knows that.”
Even when they were at odds, Harriet would manage to get Alice to do her bidding. Yet if Alice wanted a favour, Harriet wouldn’t do it. It was only now Alice was beginning to realize that her relationship with her sister was not as meaningful as she thought it was.
“You are a fool.” Clara was shaking her head. “Both of you are absolute fools.”
“You’re angry at both of us, aren’t you?”
“Disappointed in you going along with this, yes. But I’m angry at Harriet for putting you in this position.”
Alice could take disappointment. She was disappointed in herself. She blinked back the tears.
“Can you forgive me for this, Aunt Clara?”
Clara sighed and squeezed her hand. “I can forgive you. You weren’t the guilty party. But you did cause a big mess. Now the Duke of Hampshire is in love with a lie.”
Alice knew that. She felt awful about it. “What can I say to him? I don’t think I can fix it.”
“Tell him the truth.”
“I can’t!”
“You have to, Alice.”
That sent Alice into a panic. She knew she wouldn’t be seen in a good light by Hampshire anymore, especially if her sister’s banns had already gone out. This would simply make it worse.
“I can’t. I promised Harriet I wouldn’t.”
Clara snorted. “I think she’s lost that privilege after what she’s done.” She stopped and turned to Alice, her jaw tight. “You’ve got a week to tell the duke about what you did, either in person or in writing. If you don’t, I’ll tell him myself.”
“But…”
“No buts. You tell him the truth or I will. I’m not having my niece messing up her sister’s life.”
Alice knew she would do that. Clara would absolutely go to Hampshire and tell him the truth. And that wouldn’t look good on her at all. It would sound a lot better coming from her.
She nodded miserably. “I’ll tell him.”
And she was not looking forward to it.
***
Alice was miserable. She now had an ultimatum to tell the Duke of Hampshire the truth about why she really ran away and who she was. Clara was adamant that Alice was going to do it. She wasn’t about to throw Alice out of her house, but Alice knew the disappointment would be even worse if she didn’t do as she promised.
Yet the thought of going to Hampshire and confessing to him that she had been caught up in telling him a lie made Alice feel sick to the stomach. Hampshire would be furious. He would be angry at her, at Harriet. Mostly at her because she had been there with him.
Alice had thought she had a bond with the man and knew it would be difficult to walk away when she had to. But she hadn’t expected it to be this difficult.
Maybe she was destined to be alone. Alice’s shyness had been a massive hindrance during her first Season and that had resulted in barely anyone knowing her name. That included those she had been told to look at as prospective husbands. By her second Season, Alice had no chance of finding a husband. She was scared whenever she went into a packed room, and her tongue felt like it was in knots. Her anxiety went through the roof, and people laughed at it.
With Hampshire, that hadn’t happened. She had been able to be a bit more of herself, albeit playing the part of her sister, and she was relaxed. Hampshire made her feel like she could be the person she was without any constraints. Alice was happy with that. Hampshire made her smile. He wasn’t boring like Harriet said at all. Harriet was just not made for him.
Alice thought she was. But that was never going to happen now.
Eventually, after spending most of the week dodging Clara’s questions about whether she had written to Hampshire yet, Alice escaped into Guildford. A walk around and window-shopping should take her mind off things. Nobody could bother her in town.
Keeping her head down, Alice didn’t look around at people passing her by. She didn’t notice anyone staring at her or calling her by name. But when she went into an alley to cut through to another crowded street, Alice felt someone grab her elbow, spinning her around and pressing her against the wall.
“What are you doing here?”
Alice looked up and started. Middlesex was standing over her, a dark scowl on his handsome face. He didn’t look the jovial man she had known before. “My Lord Middlesex. What are you doing here?”
“Hampshire and I are visiting my aunt in Crawley. We were having a day out in Guildford.”
“What?” Alice began to feel the panic rising. “Hampshire is here?”
“He was. But as soon as he saw you, he turned around and walked the other way.” Middlesex’s jaw tightened. “He didn’t want to see you at all. Things are still very raw.”
Alice could understand that. But Hampshire was here? Why did it feel like this was fate putting him in her way to make her tell him the truth? She swallowed.
“I’m staying with my uncle, Baron Gatesby, nearby. I needed some time alone.”
“I see,” Middlesex growled. He let go of her arm and stepped back, folding his arms across his chest. “So is this time alone before the wedding or are you looking for some more hearts to break?”
Then Alice remembered that he still thought she was Harriet. Harriet was the one who was supposed to have broken Hampshire’s heart.
“It’s not what you think…” she began, but Middlesex cut her off.
“What am I sup
posed to think, Harriet? My friend proposed to you because he was in love with you, and you turned him down. Then barely days later we hear you’re engaged to someone else! That just looks like you were waiting for someone better to come along. And I don’t know how you can get better than a duke.”
Alice knew she had to say it. But getting it out was a lot harder than she thought. “I turned him down because I’m not who he thought I was.”
“We gathered that much.”
“I’m not Harriet!”
Middlesex stopped at her shout. He looked confused, staring at her like he thought she was mad. “Say that again.”
Alice forced herself to look back at him. Now was not the time to run. Not anymore. “The duke thought he was proposing to Harriet Green. But he wasn’t. Harriet was at the Earl of Lancaster’s home instead. She… she sent me in her place, told me to be her.”
“You’re Alice?”
Alice started. Middlesex was a little older than her. He would have been firmly established in Society by the time Alice came along. But she didn’t think he knew of her when Harriet was about. “I didn’t think you’d heard of me.”
“She was mentioned a lot when you were staying,” Middlesex grunted. “You were the one who kept bringing her up.” He stepped back and surveyed her as if seeing her for the first time. “It makes sense now. I know what Harriet looks like. It’s subtle, but it’s there now.”
“We’re not identical anymore.” Alice fiddled with the edge of her coat. “But Harriet thought we could still do it. And it looks like it worked.”
“Hampshire didn’t know about this?”
“Of course he didn’t. He wouldn’t have proposed to me if he did.” That left a nasty taste in her stomach. Middlesex looked like he wasn’t sure what to believe anymore.
“How long has this been going on for?”
“Since the night of the theatre. Harriet was double-booked and told me to take her place…”
“So she talked you into it.” Middlesex rubbed his hand over his face. “You… Harriet… was always rather persuasive. But you didn’t come off as persuasive.”
“I’ve never been a persuasive person.” Alice huddled in her cloak. Suddenly the wind whipping through the alley was biting. “I told her things were going to get messy. But she wouldn’t listen. She didn’t want to cut her losses with the duke when she preferred the earl more.”
Regency Romances for the Ages Page 85