Games of the Heart

by Kristen Ashley

  “Get out, Aunt Dusty,” Fin growled, his face stone cold.

  I ignored him and kept ranting.

  “Asking another girl out while you’ve been seeing one for months and doing it before you got up the courage to break up with Reesee?” I hurled at him. “Spending every second you can with her? When you’re apart, connecting through your cells every other second? Then you just scrape her off. What the hell?”

  “Get out!” he thundered.

  I crossed my arms on my chest and shot back. “No. For all men in the world, Fin, you explain to me right now how you can be such a dick.”

  Fin crossed his arms on his chest too and snapped his mouth shut.

  “Answer me, Fin,” I demanded.

  “She’ll get over me,” he clipped.

  “Yeah? You sure of that? If you are, you have not been paying attention. Because the earth stands still for her when you walk into a room. She’s fifteen but she’s Reesee. She looks at you and she knows straight down into her soul what she sees. And you cannot tell me that you, my brother’s son, didn’t look into her eyes as she was looking in yours and see what everyone saw. You cannot tell me you didn’t see what she was giving to you. So now you’re gonna tell me why you’re perfectly okay with throwing away that kind of beauty.”

  “Shut up and get the fuck out,” Fin growled.

  “No. You made a decision, you bear the consequences. You played your plays and any play you play affects a variety of people. I care about her. You broke her heart. Which means you broke my heart. And these are your consequences.” I leaned toward him. “So explain it to me.”

  “Get the fuck out,” Fin bit off.

  “Explain it to me,” I repeated.

  “Get the fuck out!” Fin thundered.

  “Explain it to me!” I yelled.

  “I had to let her go!” Fin roared then I watched in horrified fascination as he turned, stalked to the wall and punched his fist right through.

  “Fin –” I whispered, dropping my arms and starting toward him but halting dead when he turned back to me and his face held more pain then Rees’s.

  A lot more.

  Agony.

  Suddenly I was finding it hard to breathe.

  “Fin, honey,” I whispered.

  “She’s too good for this ‘Burg,” he told me. “That school in Chicago accepted her and she said she wasn’t gonna go because she didn’t want to be that far away from me. What the fuck was I supposed to do, Aunt Dusty? Let her make a fucked up decision about her future for me? She could write bestselling novels or report for some newspaper or, I don’t know, all sorts of shit. All sorts of shit she,” he leaned toward me again, his hands in fists at his side, “cannot do if her ass is rotting on a fucking farm!”

  Oh my God.

  “Honey –” I started gently but Fin cut me off.

  “I talked to her about it. Told her we could still text and I’d drive up to see her but she wasn’t gonna do it and it got me to thinkin’. About her. About how her Mom sold her Mercedes so Reesee can have this, her fuckin’ Mom who never did shit for her finally kicked in. And she did because this is important. This is her future. This is her life. I thought about how Mr. Haines never said dick but everyone knows cops aren’t millionaires and he isn’t even blinking in order to do what he’s gotta do to give Reesee the future that’s all hers if she just takes it. And what am I doin’? Makin’ her feel tied to this fuckin’ place and me. I do not want to be that guy who ties her down. I wanna be like Mr. Haines, even like her fuckin’ mother, and let her be free so she can fly.”

  My heart squeezed and then it slid straight up into my throat.

  But Fin wasn’t done.

  He finished on a tortured whisper. “So I set her free.”

  Oh, my beautiful nephew.

  “Didn’t Rees tell you that the choice of the school in Indy was her Dad’s decision?” I asked carefully.

  “Yeah,” he answered, “but it was hers too. Because of me. And you think for one second if she told Mr. Haines she wanted to go to Chicago he’d say no?”

  No. There was no way if Rees pressed to go to Chicago, Mike would say no. He might not like it. He might worry. But he’d give his daughter the best there was for her to have if she wanted it.

  Fin knew the answer to his question so I didn’t bother telling him something he already knew.

  Instead, as gently as I could, I asked, “Honey, why didn’t you explain it like that? Why did you ask Millie Chapman out?”

  “Because she’s Reesee.” He was still whispering, it was still tortured and I swear to God, listening to it made my ears hurt. “I had to cut the string, Aunt Dusty. If I explained it, she wouldn’t accept it. She’d try and convince me stayin’ here was doing what she wanted and she’s Reesee. With her, I gave her that chance, it wouldn’t be hard to convince me.”

  God, my beautiful nephew loved Clarisse Haines.

  Like, a whole lot.

  I knew it but right then I knew it.

  I walked to him and even though I saw his body go tight and all the signals were there for me to keep away, I got close, lifted both hands and curled them around the sides of his neck.

  Then I said softly, “Has it occurred to you that what you think of as her trying to convince you of something she wants that you don’t think she wants it’s actually something that’s real?”

  “You got talent and you got the fuck outta The ‘Burg the minute you could,” he returned.

  “If I was with Mike, I would not have taken one step out of this town because I love it. It’s home, my family is here and if I had a guy who was good for me, I would never leave. Women do that stuff and they find happiness, trust me. But I didn’t have a guy who was good for me. And I left because your Aunt Debbie drove me up the wall. I left because I had a fire in my belly. I left because I was young and part idiot. But we aren’t talking about me. Clarisse Haines is not me. She’s Clarisse. She’s yours, you’re hers and, Finley, you know it.”

  “I got what I want in this farm, Aunt Dusty,” he said quietly. “Like Dad, I know I’ll be happy here. How can I know she will too?”

  “You give it about three years then you ask her.”

  “Three years, I won’t be able to let her go,” he whispered.

  God, he loved her.

  A whole lot.

  “Then that’s good because I’m not blowing sunshine when I say that she won’t want you to. You can write bestsellers on a farm, Fin. You can work for a newspaper in a city that’s a freaking twenty minute drive away. You can chase dreams anywhere and be able to catch them. What you can’t do, in a relationship, no matter how much of a man you are, is make a decision for the both of you. Not one like this. Not one this important. Don’t play games of the heart, honey, even if you’re doing it to protect one.”

  “Miracles happen on this farm.”

  These soft words came as a surprise so I blinked, dropped my hands and turned, shifting to Fin’s side because they came from the doorway.

  And they came from Rhonda.

  She was standing there, her eyes on her son, her face soft, her hand up and curled around the jamb like it was providing her lifeforce.

  “Dreams come true here,” she whispered.

  “Ma, what –?” Fin started impatiently.

  She cut him off with, “Your Dad made them come true for me here.”

  For the second time that day, I felt my chest compress at the same time I felt something strong emanating from Fin but I couldn’t tear my eyes away from Rhonda.

  “When I was a girl, I daydreamed of my guy. My perfect guy,” she shared softly. “He wouldn’t be like my Dad. He’d be handsome. He’d be tall. He’d be strong. He’d be patient. He’d be sweet. He’d love me just for me. And fallin’ for me, bringin’ me here, givin’ me a beautiful life and beautiful babies, your Dad made that dream come true.”

  I felt stinging at the backs of my eyes as I watched her make a visible effort to tear herself from the d
oor, take a step into her son’s room and stand on her own two feet while holding Fin’s eyes.

  “There is no other man on this earth for me. There was only one Darrin Holliday. He was mine. Then he was gone. I’m tryin’ to make peace with that. It’s not easy, but I’m tryin’. And one of the beautiful things about your father was that there was no other woman on this earth for him but me. I know that ‘cause the way he treated me. I know that because he told me. And you’re your father’s son.” She smiled a shaky smile. “The same thing was bound to happen to you but it happened for you sooner. And it happened, Finley. You’re not helpin’ make a dream come true by lettin’ Rees be free. You’re killin’ the most important dream she’ll ever have. Learn from your Dad. Give her what you’ve got to give. I promise you, honey, it’ll give her what she needs to make her other dreams fly free. And, what I see when I see her with you, she’ll never regret a day of it. Not for the rest of her life.”

  Rhonda fell silent and Fin and I were right there with her.

  Finally, Fin broke it and said to his mother quietly, “I fucked up huge and I don’t know how to fix it.”

  She tipped her head to the side and said quietly back, “You can start buy callin’ this Millie girl and sayin’ the date’s off. Then you can walk across that field and talk to your girl. Tell her what you told your Aunt Dusty. And I promise you, she might be upset, she might be angry but in the end, everything will be just fine.”

  “She was cryin’,” he whispered, his eyes still on his mother. “And Aunt Dusty said her heart’s broke.”

  “So fix it,” Rhonda whispered back.

  “How do I do that?” Fin asked.

  “Honey, you’re my Finley. I don’t know,” she answered. “The only thing I do know is that you’ll find a way.”

  God, I forgot how much I loved Rhonda.

  Fin held her eyes.

  I held my breath.

  Then Fin nodded.

  I let out my breath.

  Rhonda smiled.

  Then Fin said gently, “I’m sorry you lost Dad, Ma.”

  My eyes started stinging again.

  Rhonda licked her lips then pressed them together.

  Then she unpressed them to whisper, “I am too.”

  I stood there watching a son have a long time coming moment with his mother as they gazed at each other across the bedroom.

  Then he took half a step back, his hand going to his back pocket and, looking at no one, he muttered, “I gotta make a call.”

  Cue departure, so I moved toward the door. Rhonda was already out of it.

  By the time I hit the doorway and turned back to grab the knob, Fin had his phone out. He must have sensed me stopping because his neck twisted and his eyes came to me.

  I mouthed, “I love you, Finley.”

  Then I closed the door.

  Rhonda was hovering in the hall, her eyes caught mine immediately and she whispered, “Did I do all right?”

  Was she crazy?

  I snatched her in my arms, held her close and whispered in her ear, “Oh, honey. Definitely.”

  Her arms moved around me. Mine got tighter around her. Hers got tighter around me. Then I felt her body shaking gently and she shoved her face in my neck. Mine started to do the same and I shoved my face in hers. We held each other for a while and cried silently.

  Then I pulled away slightly, releasing her with one hand, wiping at my face with it and I said quietly, “I better get back to the house. Mike just came back when I took off to throw down with Fin. If Fin is gonna get in that door, I’ve got a lot of talking to do.”

  She nodded, wiping her face too.

  I smiled a small smile at her, gave her a one-armed squeeze then let her go and started walking down the hall.

  “Dusty?” she called, I stopped and turned back. “Thank you,” she said softly, hesitated, threw out a fluttering hand and finished, “For everything.”

  I took in a breath.

  Rhonda was back.

  “My pleasure, honey,” I replied softly back. “And thank you.”

  Her head tipped to the side as her brows inched together. “For what?”

  “For loving my brother the way you do.”

  She pressed her lips together.

  Before I lost it again, I turned, walked the rest of the way to the stairs, jogged down them and hurried home.

  * * * * *

  Fin was on the blanket he spread out on the grass by the side of the creek at the watering hole. He was on his back, knees cocked, his torso held up on his forearms that were in the blanket behind him.

  Reesee was on her back with knees cocked too, her head resting on his gut.

  His Ma was right. It flipped him out to see how pissed Mr. Haines was when he hit the backdoor of Reesee’s house but Aunt Dusty, being Aunt Dusty, smoothed the way and even got Mr. Haines to allow Fin actually to go up to Reesee’s bedroom. And it flipped him out even more, once he got there, to see what he’d done to her. It was written all over her face, what he’d done playing games of the heart.

  But his Ma was right. He’d fixed it. He just had to tell her why he did what he did and Reesee forgave him right away.

  Now it was warm, it was May, the crop was in, it was growing, things had settled down and when school was out he was looking forward to bringing Rees here in her bathing suit.

  “I love you, Finley.”

  Fin blinked at the creek but he felt his body go stone-still.

  Then he whispered, “What?”

  She lifted her head off his gut, got up on her forearm in the blanket and her eyes locked right on his. Right on them. Straight up. No hiding.

  And he saw it there. What he’d been seeing for a while. What he’d been seeing almost since the beginning.

  Then she gave him the words that went with what he saw in her eyes.

  “I love you,” she repeated.

  God. Jesus, fuck. God.

  That felt good.

  He braced his weight against one elbow, lifted his hand, cupped her jaw and whispered back, “I love you too, babe.”

  She smiled at him and, God, Jesus, fuck, God her smile felt good too.

  Then she moved until her hand was flat and warm on his tee over his chest and she whispered, “Please don’t ever do that to me again.”

  Not knowing why he did it, his hand moved to her neck then around to the back and he put gentle pressure there. She felt it and moved to him until her lips were on his. He touched them in a soft brush and released the pressure on her neck so she move back an inch.

  “I promise you, Reesee, I’ll never do that to you again,” he whispered back.

  “Thank you, Fin.” She was still whispering.

  “Thank you for taking me back.” He wasn’t whispering anymore but his voice was weird, low and rumbling.

  Her lips quirked in that sweet smile of hers before she remarked, “We were broken up for all of about half an hour. I didn’t have time to build up a grudge.”

  “Thank God for that,” Fin muttered.

  Her full smile shone through.

  Seeing it, his eyes dropped to her mouth.

  Then his hand put pressure on her neck.

  And when her lips hit his again, the kiss he gave his girl was not a brush.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  Black Day

  The next day…

  Mike walked out of the closet through the room lit by the early light of dawn to the bed.

  Layla watched him.

  Dusty didn’t. Her eyes were closed but he knew she wasn’t asleep.

  He wrapped his hand around the side of her neck, bent in and kissed her temple.

  “I’m calling the networks,” she muttered as he pulled away, eyes still closed, face partly smushed by the pillow. “They need to make an announcement that crime needs to sleep in. Especially on Sundays.”

  Mike stared down at her.

  Then he ordered, “Don’t leave the house or farm all day.”

  He watched h
er eyes scrunch to close hard as her brow furrowed then she opened her eyes and turned her head on the pillow to look up at him.

  “Sorry?” she asked.

  “Don’t get in a car. Stay close to the house or farm all day. I don’t know how long this’ll take me. Just promise you’ll stick close and you’ll keep the kids close too. I’ll write them a note before I go.”

  She pushed up to an elbow and held his eyes.

  Then she asked quietly, “Why?”

  Why?

  He had no fucking clue why.

  All he knew was that weight was heavy in his gut. Like a rock. And that morning, the minute he got the call to go into the Station and deal with some shit, he felt it start burning.

  That day was a black day. He didn’t know how it was going to happen. He just knew it would.

  He was missing something. There was a threat out there. He thought it was LeBrec but he’d called Rivera just the day before and Rivera reported that LeBrec had a new woman now. LeBrec had moved on.

  So it wasn’t LeBrec.

  But it sure as fuck was something.

  “Just please, honey, do as I say,” he said instead of answering.

  “Is everything all right?” she asked.

  “No,” he answered.

  She pushed up further. “What’s wrong?”

  “I don’t know. Just a feelin’. And I gotta go. So do me a favor, help me out and promise me you and the kids’ll stay close all day.”

  She studied him through the dawn light.

  Then, just like Dusty, she gave him what he needed.

  “Okay, babe,” she whispered.

  He replaced his hand on her neck, bent back in as he pulled her to him and gave her another touch of the lips.

  Then he let her go and moved away.

  Layla, as if sensing he wanted her where she was, didn’t move from her position at Dusty’s feet.

  At the door, he looked back and saw she was still up, now on a hand, her long hair mussed around her shoulders, her eyes on him.