by Karen Cogan
Caroline looked past his shoulder to see Gran appear in the doorway. A pleased grin lit her face.
“I set you a spot at the table, Mr. Sikes.” Nate pulled away to hold Caroline around the waist. “I hope you’ll pardon my enthusiasm in greeting Caroline, Ma’am.”
Gran clucked her tongue. “I know you’re a man of principle, Mr. Sikes, even if you are a Yankee. You have lots more principle than some folks around here.”
Caroline knew Gran referred to Jed. She only hoped the old woman would have enough sense not to mention the ring he had insisted she keep. As soon as she saw Jed again she would find a gentle way to refuse his proposal.
Andrew returned from the barn. “Now?” he questioned Nate eagerly.
Gran shook her head. “You wash up for dinner. Whatever you want of Mr. Sikes can wait until after you eat.”
“You will join us, won’t you?” Caroline looked into Nate’s tender gaze.
“I will. I have brought news that I want to share with all of you.”
Caroline’s heart felt light. “Good news, I hope.”
Nate nodded. “I hope so.”
They held hands at the table for the blessing.
Caroline had nearly forgotten his promise of news by the time they passed the candied yams and salt pork. But as they dug into dinner, Nate said, “I don’t want to bring up a painful subject or raise false hopes, but I checked the lists of Confederate dead. Your brother’s name wasn’t on any list.”
Caroline’s throat constricted until she was barely able to swallow her bite. “What did you say?”
“Your brother James isn’t on the lists.”
“But Jed...” She frowned, trying to make sense of the new information. Nate chewed his food thoughtfully. Caroline bit her lip. “Jed must have seen another list.”
Nate shook his head. “I don’t think so. I checked every list that’s come out, even the news that arrived by telegraph yesterday.”
Her frown deepened. “Then why?”
Nate set down his fork. Everyone’s eyes focused on his face. “Would Jed have anything to gain by telling you a lie?”
The shock turned Caroline’s blood cold. Could he have lied to her? Would he have lied to her for his own purpose? The possibility grew in her mind.
“He wanted me to marry him. He thought I had no choice if James didn’t return.”
As her thoughts cleared she realized, evil as his deed had been, she could hope again for James to return.
As Andrew began to understand the possibility that his brother could be alive, he nearly fell from his chair. “James isn’t dead? He promised he’d come back. I knew he’d keep his promise.”
Caroline laid a hand across his arm. “Hush Andrew. We must not let our hopes run away with us.”
Yet her own spirit soared just as wildly.
Nate pushed back his plate. “If it’s false hope, I hope you’ll all forgive me.”
“There is nothing to forgive for telling the truth,” Gran said.
Caroline’s emotions bubbled to the surface. She excused herself and hurried to the porch to gulp the magnolia scented air. Even this familiar perfumed comfort could not stem the tears of betrayal and relief that mingled to cascade down her cheeks. She sensed Nate’s presence before she heard his voice.
He stroked her hair gently. “Are you all right?”
She nodded, allowing him to press her to his chest. If the two men she loved most were safe, she could ask no more. She felt the beat of his heart, so strong, so reassuring. She longed to stay here in his arms forever, to feel him safe against her where no war could take him the way she’d feared James had been taken.
She thought of Jed, scarred and twisted by the war. He had grown up with James. They had played together since boyhood. He must have known how much grief he had caused her. Yet, he was willing to make her suffer in order to get his way. Had he no conscience?
Her intention to find a gentle way to refuse his proposal died with the discovery of his lie. As she wiped the angry tears from her face, Nate tipped her chin. Her anger melted, absorbed by the love in his eyes as he lowered his lips to hers.
His kiss lingered until Andrew’s voice interrupted.
“I would have been out sooner except Gran made me clear the dishes.”
They pulled apart. Andrew seemed oblivious to what he had interrupted. He bounded down the steps. “Don’t you want to see the cotton?”
Nate grinned. “I want to see the cotton.”
He turned to Caroline. “Will you come with us?”
“Of course. Let me get my bonnet. I must admit, though, I’ve seen more of those fields than I like lately when I’ve taken a turn hoeing.”
He squeezed her shoulders gently. “And learned things about crops you never wanted to know.”
She smiled at his teasing, recognizing the truth of his words. The hardships of war had stretched her in so many ways, forcing her to be self-reliant and resourceful where she had been dependent and weak. Perhaps every difficulty did have some shred of value.
Caroline bit her lip as Nate admired the growth of the cotton. No matter how hard she worked, it seemed more weeds grew up to challenge the tender plants. She knew Nate noticed the delicate balance of the battle.
“I have the day off. I’ll do some hoeing in exchange for my supper.”
“If you’re sure you feel like it.”
“I’m sure.”
Caroline and Andrew stayed to help Nate hoe. It amazed her that no matter how quickly they worked, Nate did two rows for every one they accomplished.
Late in the long afternoon, the three trudged in, hot and weary from the heat. The smell of Gran’s supper greeted them with a promise of relief for the hunger developed by hard work.
After supper, Nate stayed to read the Bible. Caroline found herself eager for the words, absorbing them like food for her hungry soul. The stars had popped out by the time Caroline walked Nate to the porch. They stood together admiring the velvet beauty of the night sky.
As Nate lingered beside her, Caroline knew he was no more eager to part than she was to see him go.
He looked into her eyes. “I don’t have to be back until tomorrow. It wouldn’t be seemly for me to stay in the house, but I could bed down in the barn. It’s going to be a warm night. We could have a Sunday worship service in the morning before I ride back.”
Caroline nodded. “I’d like that.”
Before she went to bed, she stood at her window staring at the barn where Nate had first taken refuge, and she thanked God for bringing him into her life. She crawled into bed safe in the knowledge that he lay sleeping close by.
Fragile Dreams
Fragile Dreams
CHAPTER EIGHT
Nate nestled Caroline against his chest before he departed on Sunday afternoon. Stroking her velvet cheek, he promised, “I’ll come back during my next leave. And I’ll pray for you every day.”
“And I’ll pray for you.” Tilting her head to smile up at him earned her his kiss. She felt as though she were sending her heart away as she watched him ride off. She stayed on the lawn staring after him long after he disappeared—wasting time, she realized.
She shook off the loneliness that brought tears to her eyes. She had plenty to keep her busy and no time to give in to her weakness. The garden awaited its first harvest of tender peas. The carrots needed thinning and two fields still waited to be hoed. Although Gran’s advanced years and the rheumatism that had plagued her all winter made house and field work difficult, she disliked being idle, so she saw to most of the kitchen duties, leaving the more exerting tasks to Caroline and Andrew.
As she swept the parlor, the sound of an approaching rider caught her ear. She wasn’t expecting anyone until Nate’s next visit, and neighborly calls were as much a rarity as leisure. That meant another deserter could be heading toward the house. Her heart pounded as she seized the rifle now stowed on the mantle.
Though her heart led her to hope it might be
James, the memory of the Yankee intruder lived vividly in her mind. She breathed a shaky sigh as Jed appeared beyond the line of trees. She set down the gun as he reined his horse to a walk, and then she frowned as anger replaced her relief.
She glared at him, remembering how he had lied to her about James. He had put her through misery for his own interests. He could forget any chance he’d ever had to win her affection. All she felt now was contempt.
His face was dark as a thundercloud as he dismounted and tied his horse to a post. Instead of a pleasant greeting, he tipped his hat and fixed her with narrowed eyes. She neglected to greet him or ask him to come inside, displaying none of the fine manners she’d been taught. Instead she bit back her swelling fury that he should come here and appear angry with her.
He paused at the bottom of the porch. “I heard rumors in town about you. Came to see if they’re true.”
Caroline blinked, taken aback. She had expected him to chastise her about her reluctance to marry.
“I don’t have a clue as to what you mean.”
“I overheard a Yankee talking about a lieutenant who’d gone to see his little belle. Called her Caroline. You know any Yankees?”
His question shocked her. She had not supposed news of Nate’s visits would have spread around town. Yet here Jed stood, glowering as he awaited her answer. Only a denial could save her from his scorn. Yet, denying Nate was something she would not do.
She pulled herself to the top of her diminutive height and faced him. “I do know a Yankee. I found him lying wounded in my yard and nursed him back to health. Naturally, he was grateful.”
Jed pointed an accusing finger at the house. “You nursed a Yankee back to health in the same house where I came calling? Have you no loyalty to the cause?”
Caroline strove to keep her voice steady. “I have loyalty to the cause. A higher calling commanded me to assist a helpless injured man. I’m not sorry I did it.”
“I know why you’re not sorry. You’ve fallen for that Yankee rabble.” His eyes dared her to deny it. Her jaw clenched in anger.
“I fell for a man with more honor than you possess. He didn’t tell me my brother was dead to try and force me to marry him.”
Jed’s eyes widened, and then narrowed with anger.
“You left me no choice. Women are too foolish to make the right decision.”
“The right decision?” Caroline’s voice rose. “I’m not a child. I’m capable of deciding who I should marry.”
“As I see it won’t be me, I’ll ask you to return the ring.” Relief filled her as she retrieved it from the parlor.
Returning, she said, “I could never marry someone who cared so little for my feelings that he would deliberately cause me pain.”
“You should talk. How do you think James will feel if he does come home? He’d rather be dead than know you’ve fallen for a Yankee.” Jed turned abruptly and strode away, leaving Caroline to her thoughts.
Until now, she had not considered James’s reaction to her relationship with Nate. The James she knew before the war would have cared for her happiness. Had the war changed James the way it had Jed?
She shivered. How would she manage if there were conflict between the men she loved? She shook these thoughts aside, deciding to deal with them later. She had managed to rid herself of Jed. For the moment, she must be content with that success.
Still, as the week drew to a close, an uneasiness that she could not shake grew within her. Nerves, she told herself. And exhaustion from long hours in the fields. She breathed deeply of the fresh spring air. It carried the promise of newness and change. Though she received little information, Nate had told her of Sherman’s march through Georgia. The war could not last forever. Of that, she was grateful.
****
The next week, the Union troops received news that the war had ended. The celebration in the headquarters of the jail complex contrasted sharply with the dismal mood of the town. The faces of the people reflected the pain of giving so much only to face the bitterness of defeat.
Nate sensed the mood as he patrolled the darkened main street. Still, he didn’t expect any trouble. Like folks most places, they resented the presence of the army. Yet, the majority were law abiding and stayed inside after the curfew. Still, he kept a cautious watch.
Lieutenant Weaver, who had the nine o’clock patrol had not returned, leaving Nate the double duty of finding him. He carried a lantern with him, calling Weaver’s name as he passed the shops and saloons. Weaver didn’t answer. Nate continued on toward the livery stable at the end of town. If he didn’t find Weaver there, he would have to retrace his steps.
As far as Nate knew, Weaver didn’t have any friends among the citizens. That being the case, there was still one place a man might turn to for company. Though the saloon was closed and dark, some of the men succumbed to the lure of an occasional saloon girl standing outside.
Nate grimaced. He did not relish the prospect of searching the top floor for an errant officer. He could hardly wait until such military duties would be behind him.
In two weeks he would be discharged. Before he met Caroline, the thought would have given him comfort. He would have headed west with eager anticipation. Now, his heart felt torn between his desire to go west and his love for Caroline. She would not leave the plantation to go to ruin if James did not return. So he made the only decision possible.
He would give up his dream and stay here to marry Caroline if she were willing to bear the disapproval of her neighbors. He would work the fields for her and make the plantation everything it had been before.
His heart throbbed at giving up the dream he had held for so long. He disliked being an unwelcome presence among people who treated him with quiet disdain.
Yet, now that he knew Caroline, he would sooner stop breathing than go on without her. If only James would return. Now that the war had ended, they would know soon if he were coming back. If he did, perhaps Nate might convince Caroline to marry and start off together on a journey west.
He frowned, wondering if she loved him enough to give up her home. As a descendant of generations reared and buried there, Caroline loved the plantation with a fierce devotion. Could she love him more?
He brushed the doubt aside as he drew near the livery. Time to concentrate on business. He shone the lantern along the side of the building and paused, staring hard into the dim alley. A pair of boots, pants, a shirt.... A man lay on the ground.
Nate knew at once the man was Weaver. He held the lantern over the sergeant and saw the bullet wound in his back. He turned him over and examined him, finding he’d been dead for at least an hour. Anger burned in his veins.
Someday soon, a wife and mother would learn of his death, not a death in war, but cold-blooded murder. Was this how it was to be? They could be picked off, shot in the back, the way the coward had shot his men in the woods.
He clenched his fist, determined to find out who had killed these soldiers. He covered Weaver with his jacket and then left the alley to report back to headquarters and fetch a horse for the sergeant’s body.
He kept to the shadows near the buildings, realizing that whoever killed Weaver could be hiding along the way. Nate knew too well that he could be the next target before he ever heard the bullet coming. The hair rose on the back of his neck. He walked faster, more afraid of losing a life with Caroline than he was of death. He reached the heavy jailhouse door and shivered as he stepped inside. News of Weaver’s death drew a crowd of men. Shock held them silent until the Colonel issued orders for a four man patrol to collect the body. As he headed the patrol, Nate scanned the unpitying store fronts that lined the main street.
Occasional lanes led away to houses with white picket fences. Someone surely knew who was responsible for murdering these men. Would their loyalty to the cause and to one another allow them to live with such a secret? His heart felt heavy at the thought of settling where such hatred was tolerated.
Now that the war was ended
, perhaps the hatred would fade. If not, bearing it would be the price he would pay for loving Caroline. Thoughts of her dark eyes and gentle smile cheered him. He would ride out on Saturday and tell her the news of the South’s surrender.
When Saturday came at last, she flew out to meet him, her smile pushing thoughts of the murders to the back of his mind. Anticipation of her happiness at the news filled his veins. He alit from his horse and handed Andrew the reins before embracing them both. “It’s over. We got word of the signing last week in Appomattox. The war’s over.”
Gran stood in the doorway. “Praise the Lord. Now our boys’ll be comin’ home.”
Caroline’s eyes filled with tears. “A year ago, I would have been devastated, bitter for the loss. Now, all I can think about is getting on with our lives.”