“I forgot something yesterday.”
“You did?”
He nodded, leaned forward and I froze, the bottom falling out of my stomach. He was going to kiss me.
His lips brushed over mine once, and he pulled back a fraction before returning to settle them over mine again. He kept his body exactly where it was, but I was completely enveloped by him. His hand moved to the side of my neck and stopped, but his lips moved over mine softly, again and again. Every part of me hummed and vibrated, and something inside urged me to get closer that this wasn’t enough. Yet, I was so entranced by him I couldn’t move. I don’t know how long we stayed like that, every part of us unmoving except for our lips, but the whole time I prayed that it would never end. Of course, it had to.
He pulled back enough to rest the side of his face against the couch, mirroring my position. The lightning storm of gold in his eyes was beautiful, but deep down a voice wondered if it was natural. I pushed the thought away because I wouldn’t let anything spoil this moment. “Heven,” he rasped, his fingers caressing me once more. “What happened to you?”
“I don’t remember.”
“Nothing?”
“I was attacked walking home one night from the library, and I woke up in the hospital like this.”
“I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault.”
He pulled away. “I should go.”
I grabbed his arm. “Wait. Why did you really come here?” What had I done to make him want to leave?
“I wanted to see you.”
I glanced at the clock. “I have awhile yet before my mom gets home. Can you stay?”
That lonely look flashed through his eyes, but then his lips tilted up. “Yeah.”
He sat back and spread his arms along the back of the couch. I sat up and scooted closer, resting my head against his chest, wondering if the butterflies in my stomach would ever settle. I kind of hoped they wouldn’t.
Chapter Eight
Heven
I stared at the clock as I trudged into seventh period. This crappy Monday was almost over; it seemed like the longest one yet. Sam didn’t stay long enough yesterday. For once Mom finished her work at the church early, and he had to go. I spent the rest of the day doing homework and spending time with Mom. When I went to bed I was haunted with the same nightmare as always, except this time Sam’s creepy roommates were the ones chasing me down the street. When they caught up and tackled me they stared down with flashing gold eyes. I woke up at five drenched in sweat with a pounding heart. I knew that if I closed my eyes again I would once again be haunted by flashing gold eyes and taunting laughter. Instead I lay in bed staring at the ceiling and replayed Sam’s kiss over and over in my mind. The memory was enough to chase away the worst of my nightmare.
I looked at the clock again, wondering if I had enough time to sneak out in the hall and call Grandma to beg her to pick me up after school so I could spend some time with Jasper. But then the bell rang, and I saw Sam slip inside the door and move to his seat. It was the first I had seen of him all day. Yet another reason this day had been so endless. I stared at him, and his eyes flicked up to mine. He didn’t smile or wave, but his eyes flashed gold. Scenes from my nightmare flashed before me, and I hurried to turn away in my seat. My reaction confused me. Sometimes I caught glimpses of a Sam that frightened me, sensed some kind of self-contained violence that made me wonder if I should be afraid. I wondered if I really knew him. But then he was around, that automatic feeling of safety would spread over me, and I would feel silly for ever thinking that I was in danger with him.
Mrs. Cooper hurried in carrying a bag of measuring spoons and a stack of papers. “Today we will break into our cooking groups and attempt to make this recipe.” She held up the stack of papers.
Great. Just what I didn’t want to do. With my luck we’d be cooking chicken.
“We’ll be making mini pizzas on English muffins.”
Eww.
“With a barbeque chicken topping!”
Double Eww.
“Everyone go to your cooking stations, and I’ll pass out the recipe.”
Everyone in my station was absent except for Emily Hall, the biggest gossip in our class. Resolved to get this over with, I began doling out paper plates and plastic silverware so we could get started. Mrs. Cooper came over with a recipe, Sam trailing behind her.
“Girls, since most of your table is absent, Sam will be joining you today.”
A little thrill went through me.
“Since he’s new he doesn’t have a group yet.” She turned to Sam and handed him the recipe. “This is your cooking group for the rest of the year.”
He moved to stand by me.
“I thought you were absent today,” I accused when the teacher moved away.
“Been here all day.”
“Why weren’t you at lunch?” Too late, I realized that I’d just practically told him I was waiting for him.
He cleared his throat and his eyes slid to our audience. Emily was staring straight at us with her mouth open. Great. Who knew what would be all over school by tomorrow.
“Aren’t you dating Kimber?” she asked Sam.
“No!” we both answered quickly.
“Are you dating?” she asked us, a glint in her eyes. Sam shut his mouth and turned to me, lifting his eyebrow.
“No,” I answered quietly.
“She won’t have me,” Sam told Emily.
Emily gasped and turned to me.
“That isn’t true,” I assured her.
“I’ve asked her out three times.”
“You won’t go out with him?” she asked me.
“Of course I would,” I blurted, then blushed furiously.
“So you are going out?”
I grabbed the pack of English muffins and slammed them on the counter. “Let’s do this.”
When Emily went off in search of a missing ingredient I spun toward him. “Do you have any idea who we were just talking to?”
He feigned innocence.
“She’s the biggest gossip in our entire class.”
“I guess it will be all over school tomorrow that we’re together.” He seemed unbothered by this.
“Probably before then,” I muttered, slapping some cheese on the pizza.
“Easy,” he scolded, taking the bag of cheese from me. “Like this.” He sprinkled the cheese on the top.
“You want everyone to think we’re dating.”
“Hand me the chicken will you?”
I practically threw the chicken at him.
He snatched it out of the air with ease and shook it at me. “Maybe I should handle the chicken today. Clearly you treat it the same way your mother does.” His eyes sparkled with mischief, and he stifled a laugh. It was a side of him I didn’t often see, and I liked it. I found myself smiling back even though I think he had just insulted me.
When he turned away I was able to remember that we had been talking. “Why?” I demanded.
“Why, what?” he asked, never turning from the chicken he seemed to be so carefully arranging.
“Why do you want everyone to think we’re dating?” I said, exasperated.
“Because then you’ll have to go out with me. You wouldn’t ruin my reputation by turning me down and humiliating me would you?”
“Like you care,” I muttered as Emily returned.
We finished our pizzas as Mrs. Cooper came around to see our handiwork, and then we put them in the toaster oven to bake. While they baked the three of us stood in the tiny kitchenette awkwardly as I tried to avoid Sam’s gaze, and Emily stared at us with open curiosity. When the little timer beeped I all but sighed in relief. I turned to grab the oven mitts off the counter and when I turned back Sam was already reaching into the oven and grabbing the hot pan.
“Watch out!” I cried as Emily and I both rushed forward.
Sam looked up with a puzzled expression on his face then his eyes rounded and he dropped the pan b
ack on the rack. “Shit, that was stupid!” He exclaimed and shook out his hand.
“Let me see.” I held out my hand for his knowing that he had to be covered in blisters. I was about to call for the teacher when his voice cut me off.
“It’s no big deal, I’m fine.”
“You can’t be fine. The inside of that oven is almost four hundred degrees.” As I spoke I leaned forward to look at his hand.
He brushed it down his pant leg then stuck it inside his pocket. “Really, I’m fine. We should get those out before they burn.”
“I’ll get them,” Emily volunteered when I just stood there staring at him. “They actually look pretty good.” She said, sitting them on the hot pad on the counter.
Sam kept his hand in his pocket and turned away to look at the pizza. Emily hurried off to get the teacher to give us a grade, and I used the opportunity to tug his hand out of his pocket. Sam didn’t protest, but watched me with somber, liquid-honey eyes. I turned his hand palm up and ran my fingers across where a massive blister was sure to be.
There was nothing there. His skin was completely smooth and unmarked.
I was sure that he would be burned. I saw him touch that pan, why weren’t there any marks on his skin? I thought he might say something, but then Emily and the teacher returned and the moment was lost. As soon as we received a grade Sam grabbed up his pizza and ate it in one bite.
“Did you even eat lunch?” I grumped.
“I’m hungry.” He shrugged, avoiding my gaze.
I pushed my untouched pizza toward him. He ate it in one bite too. Emily sat next to him gingerly picking at hers. “What are you doing after school today?” he asked around his chewing.
“I was hoping to go to my grandma’s. I have a horse there.”
“Do you need a ride?” Sam asked and suddenly the pizza lost its interest for Emily, and she stared at us, trying not to make it obvious she was looking.
“Actually, that would be great.” I replied giving up on trying to keep myself out of the gossip mill. What did it matter anyway?
When the final bell rang, Sam caught up with me and walked me to my locker. I couldn’t help but notice the curious glances directed our way. I pulled the hoodie further down over my head and tried to ignore everyone. Kimber came running up to us just as I was entering the combination on my lock.
“You’ll never guess what I heard!”
Emily worked fast. “I can only imagine,” I intoned.
Kimber frowned. “Is something wrong?”
“No, nothing. So what did you hear?”
“They announced the theme for prom today!”
“They did?” I’d forgotten about prom. I’d avoided every dance this year and every other social activity I could. It had never bothered me until now. “What’s the theme?”
“It’s a masquerade ball!” She jumped up and down.
“Like with masks?” This idea intrigued me.
“Exactly! Isn’t it cool?”
“Actually, it is.”
“Does that mean you’re going to come?” she asked me, sliding a look at Sam.
“I don’t know.” I glared at her.
Kimber grinned, and I knew she was up to something. “Well, I am sure everyone will be expecting to see you with the guy who had to practically beg you to be his date.”
“Emily!” I gasped.
Kimber cackled as she walked away.
I slammed my locker shut and turned to Sam. “I’m sorry.”
“For what?”
“Now everyone will think we’re dating.”
“I’m the one who told her that in the first place.”
I sighed. “Seriously – why would you do that?”
We moved off down the hall as I hefted my book bag over my shoulder. “I figured it was the best way to get you to agree.”
“To date you?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Like a girlfriend?” I whispered.
“If you want.” He held the door open and motioned for me to go ahead.
The sun was bright and it would have been warm if it wasn’t for the breeze in the air. “Why would you want that?” I mumbled.
He took my hand and pulled me around to face him. “I do. Want that.” The breeze ruffled his hair playfully, a stark contrast to his jaw, which was set like he was expecting rejection.
Something about that slightly vulnerable look in his eyes melted me. I gave in, if the hottest guy in school wanted to date me – and I know I wanted to date him – then I would stop wondering why he liked me and just go for it. “Me too.”
“Really?” His eyes shone like the summer sun with a hint of surprise.
“Really.”
A grin broke his face, exposing straight, white teeth and suddenly he was lifting me off my feet to plant a quick, firm kiss on my lips. When he put me down, he took my hand, and we began walking across the campus to his truck. I noticed that people were outright staring, and for once, I didn’t care.
“Do you usually go to your grandma’s after school?”
“As often as I can. Tuesdays and Thursdays I have to go to Bible study.” He slid his eyes away from the road to look at me, then back. “My mother is very religious,” I explained and noticed a tightening around his eyes and mouth. Was he against religion then? “She wasn’t always that way, but then my father died.”
“Your father died?”
“Yeah. A few years ago. He was on the police force here. He was shot during a robbery.” That single bullet had changed everything in my entire world.
“That must have been really hard. I’m sure it still is.” He reached across the seat for my hand.
“Sometimes.” I liked that he didn’t automatically apologize. Whenever I told someone about my dad, it was the first thing people said: ‘I’m sorry.’ I knew they meant it, and it was supposed to be comforting; but it really wasn’t, and it wasn’t necessary. It wasn’t their fault that he’d died, so why apologize for something they had nothing to do with?
“Your grandma is your dad’s mother?”
“Yeah. She’s really special to me.”
“I’m glad you have her, then.”
“Who is special to you, Sam?”
“You,” he rasped the word and sent goose bumps across my skin.
“Where are your parents?”
Seconds passed before he answered. “I’m emancipated. I don’t see them.”
“For how long?”
“About a year and a half.”
No wonder he seemed so lonely, and it could even explain his rude roommates. “You’re roommates…?”
“They’re emancipated too.”
“Oh.” It was ironic because ‘I’m sorry’ popped onto my tongue, but I bit it back. “You’re not alone anymore.”
A groan built in his chest and rumbled out of him. The topic was clearly hard for him, so I changed the subject. “What do you do after school?”
“I have a job,” he said it low, like he was ashamed.
“Really? Where?”
“Planet Fitness, at the front desk. They’re coaching me to be a personal trainer.”
“Wow. That’s really cool.” I guess his job explained the muscles I’d seen rippling beneath his clothes.
He seemed embarrassed, but added, “I just got hired for a second job too. Down at the lake renting paddle boats and stuff. It’s just for spring and summer though, mostly on weekends.”
“That’s really responsible,” I said before I could stop myself. He threw me a look, and I giggled. “Sorry.” I laughed again.
He tried not to, but laughed anyway. When we sobered he said, “I can take care of myself.”
That seemed really important to him, and I nodded. I guess he didn’t have a choice. Undoing my seatbelt I slid closer to him. “You’re doing a good job.”
He cleared his throat but said nothing. When we pulled up to my grandma’s house he parked, letting the engine idle. “Thanks for the ride.”
&nb
sp; “How long do you usually stay here?”
“As long as I can.”
“I get off at nine. Want me to pick you up?”
Nine was later than I usually stayed, but I would wait just to see him again. “Sure. Unless you’ll be tired and want to go home.”
“I’d rather see you.”
“See you later then.” I peeked up at him from beneath my lashes.
He moved fast, taking my face between his palms and lowering his head until his lips covered mine. His lips were full and moist, and he knew how to use them. Too soon he moved back, and I gripped his wrists before he could pull completely away. His hazel eyes were an intense burning gold, and I felt my hands begin to shake. Almost as if he knew, he closed his eyes and came back to me, his lips brushing a gentle kiss over my scar. The simple act melted me.
“I’ll be back,” he whispered, reaching around me to open the door.
It took a moment for the fog in my head to clear. “I’ll be waiting.”
I stood in the yard and watched him drive away. It was only after he was gone that I realized I hadn’t given him directions to get here.
Chapter Nine
Heven
I walked around in a dreamy haze for the rest of the week. Sam was my boyfriend. I had a boyfriend. Somehow I found myself smiling a lot more, and when people looked at me in the hall, I looked back. Sometimes, I waved. To my intense surprise everyone was nice. No one whispered about me when they thought I wasn’t looking. Thursday night I found myself standing in front of my closet pondering my wardrobe. While I still knew my scars were ugly and the left side of my face was disfigured, I wondered if maybe people wouldn’t notice it as much if the rest of me looked nice. I rummaged around and tried on a few things, but nothing fit. Everything was just too big. I reached for my cell and punched in Kimber’s number.
“I need to go shopping,” I said when she answered.
She laughed. “I’ll be there in ten minutes.”
“Wait! I can’t go tonight. Bible study.”
“You’re wardrobe needs help ASAP.”
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