by T. S. Joyce
“Not for me! Not for me.” She swallowed hard and repeated, “Not for me.”
“Who are you trying to convince? Me or yourself?” Remi demanded.
“I meant for the world. For the girls. Fans! He is good for country music.”
“Whyyyy?”
“Because he doesn’t do that pop stuff. He likes old-school. I mean, yeah, he had to do the sell-out tracks to push his first album, but at the end of each concert, he would sit at the mic and do a cover of one of the greats. Just him out there with a guitar, slaying Hank Williams, Johnny Cash, or Waylon Jennings. And then after each concert, the sales on those songs would skyrocket. He was bringing attention back to good old, down-to-the-roots country.” Juno shook her head and sighed. “And then he just…ran.”
Remi frowned. “Juno, if he ran, it was for a reason. You can’t out him. He’s here because he wants to be.”
“In a last-chance Crew? That man isn’t that damaged. He’s fine.”
“No, he’s really not. He might have appeared steady on stage, but here?” Remi shook her head. “There are big things wrong with all the males here, my Kamp included. If Rhett doesn’t want to be in the limelight, you have to respect that and let him be.”
“But—”
“Juno! You aren’t here to work. You’re here to just…breathe.”
Juno huffed a breath of frustration. “You sound like your dad.”
“Good,” she muttered, yanking Juno’s suitcase out of the back of the truck. “My dad knows a thing or two about a thing or two. Maybe for once in your life, listen.” She flashed a fiery glance at Juno and brushed past her.
It stung. It hurt, okay? It was hard to watch her best friend since childhood go protective over some guy she’d only known for a few months. He wasn’t even her mate either. Rhett was just her Crewmate.
Confused and a little angry, Juno clutched the strap of her purse and followed after Remi. About three yards up the uneven trail, she gave up on her heels and pulled off her shoes. The snow was freezing against the pads of her feet, but not uncomfortable. She’d always loved cold weather, or more specifically, her bear had. Remi didn’t wait for her, so Juno crunched her way along the winding trail up the mountain, stepping into the boot prints Remi had left behind. Maybe it was a good thing she had to leave tomorrow. Remi was different and didn’t seem to want her around at the moment.
But just as she was making travel plans in her head on how she would get back to the airport, Remi was waiting over the last ridge with a crooked, apologetic smile. “I’m sorry.”
Juno came to a stop, her breath freezing in front of her. Shrugging up one shoulder, she asked, “For what?”
“Griping at you. I get all…protective.”
“I think that’s how it’s supposed to be,” Juno conceded. “They’re your Crew now.”
Remi closed the gap between them and hugged her tight, her cheek squished against Juno’s. “Yeah, but you’ll always be my Crew, too.”
Juno huffed at the ache that caused. “I never found my Crew, girl. After I left the Ashe Crew, you and Ashlynn were as close as I could get.”
“Why do you keep talking in the past tense? Ashlynn and I are still yours. No matter what life changes we all go through, nothing can touch our history.”
“Is this the infamous Juno I’ve heard so much about?” a tall sandy-haired man with about a billion muscles and the biggest smile Juno had ever seen on a man who had shifter eyes. One gold, one green, and both about as bright as the dang sun.
“All good things I hope,” Juno said, laughing as Kamp pulled her in for a hug.
“Oh, hell no, Remi told me all the shit y’all used to get into when you were cubs.”
“Oh, God.”
“I’m Kamp,” he introduced himself, releasing her from his anaconda embrace.
“I figured. I met Rhett already, and Remi told me Grim is a horrible grump.”
“Oh, you met the Crew asshole already, huh?”
Juno snorted. “Rhett wasn’t so baaaad.”
“Liar.”
Giggling, Remi pulled Juno toward a trailer park with four singlewide mobile homes. “I have to show you something so cool. I’ve been keeping secrets, too!”
“What?” Juno croaked, jogging to keep up with Remi’s tugging. “What secrets?”
“Guess who owns these mountains?”
“Uuuuuh, the Alpha? Grim?”
“Nope!! I’ll give you a hint,” Remi said, jerking to a stop in front of the last trailer on the end. “He’s big and breathes fire and his scales are red.”
Juno nearly choked on air. “These are part of Vyr’s Mountains?”
“Yep! He pays the salaries, posts the numbers to hit, keeps on Grim’s ass and everything.”
Good God, what was happening? Juno was just staring at Remi with her mouth hanging open, waiting for her to say “just shittin’ you.” But nope, Remi just grinned back at her.
“But Vyr is a recluse. He said barely two words the whole time we were growing up. He doesn’t even like other people. So…why?”
Remi shrugged. “I don’t know. He talks to me now on the phone when he needs extra help around here. He seems totally different. Still only talks when he has something to say, doesn’t take much shit…and doesn’t really joke around very much, but he’s different. I think finding his mate and keeping his dragon and stepping out from Damon’s shadow have been good for him. And he’s with Torren and Nox. I think they’ve chipped away at him. I think he wanted to help the Crew here. And maybe me, too, I don’t know. I think he talks to my dad.”
“He talks to Beaston?” Juno whispered. “What does that mean?”
“Can I show her the letter?” Remi asked Kamp, who was standing a few feet behind them.
He gave a soft, crooked smile and pulled a folded piece of paper from his back pocket. “I keep it on me,” he said softly.
Frowning, Juno unfolded the piece of spiral notebook paper and read it.
Kamp,
This is hard. You have something of mine, and I don’t know you. All I know is what I see. What I dream. I saw you for Remi long ago, right there in those mountains you ruin. Stop ruining. Make a place for her. Take care of her. You’ve always wanted to make a dad proud. I see it in my dreams. You didn’t have that. I will be that. I will be proud, but not now. Not when you fight everything. Stop fighting. Give her Raider. Give her a cub when the time comes but for now, she needs to breathe. Be. Air.
Beaston
Juno looked up at Kamp, who was scratching his jaw and blinking hard. He handed her another piece of folded paper, and she opened it and read that one, too.
Good Kamp.
Now I am proud.
Beaston
Remi tucked her chin to her chest, and a tear fell to the snow, making a little dark spot right at the toe of her boot.
“Well,” Juno murmured thickly, “now I understand.”
“Understand what?” Remi asked.
“Why you’re so protective of what you’ve found here.”
Remi’s smile trembled, and she pointed to the trailer. “I asked Vyr why he put this trailer up here, and he said one word before he hung up the phone.”
Juno registered the house number where Remi was pointing. 1010. Holy shit. It even looked like the old raggedy trailer that had been passed around Damon’s Mountains when she’d been growing up. “Let me guess. Beaston?”
“Yep,” Remi said. Beaston and Vyr made a sanctuary in these mountains. I don’t understand all of what’s happening yet. All I know is that things keep falling into place here. I’m putting all my broken pieces back together, and I guess I wanted you to come here and see it for yourself.”
“Aww, Remi,” Juno whispered, hugging her up tight. “You were never broken. You just needed to find a place that made your heart happy.”
“Yeah,” she agreed, easing out of the hug to look Juno in the eyes. “And now it’s your turn to breathe.”
“What do you mean?
”
“I got Bash and Ashlynn to hack your airline app. Your flight is cancelled for tomorrow and your account is locked so you can’t book any flights for three days.”
“What?” Juno barked out, yanking her phone from her back pocket. She opened her app, and sure as shit, it told her the account had been compromised and to call customer service. “Mother fuckers!”
“You can stay in ten-ten this week,” Remi said cheerfully, prancing up the stairs with Juno’s suitcase. “We’ll go start making dinner and give you some time to settle in.”
“Remington Novak! What the fuck? I can lose my job!”
“You’re welcome!” The door swung closed behind Remi, and Juno had no one left to glare at but Kamp, who stood there smiling with his arms crossed over his chest.
“Don’t look at me like that,” he said, not even trying to hide his smile. “You know Remi. Once she gets something in her head, she is relentless.” He gave her a bro-punch on the shoulder. “Good to finally meet you.” And then he walked away whistling. Whistling! They’d just made it even harder for her to get to the dang Beateaters concert and sign those hacks for the label. And he was whistling? Who was going to pay her bills when she lost her job? Huh? Who?
Fuck this. Juno stomped toward the trail that led to Kamp’s truck down the mountain. She could hotwire a car, no problem. Another benefit of growing up with the wildling delinquents of the Ashe Crew. Forget her luggage, she had her purse and her phone, and that was enough. She would go to the airport and fix this herself, get back to life after this emotional roller-coaster of a day.
When her legs locked against the snow, she skidded forward and almost lost her balance. Her purse went flying and hit the ground in front of her. What the hell? She hadn’t told her body to stop.
A deep rumbling growl clawed its way up the back of her throat, and when she tried to take a step forward, her body didn’t mind her. She took a forced step back instead, and a wave of pain rocketed through her body.
She was definitely, definitely going to Change. Her bear was pissed off, snarling, and she wanted to maul everything. Her skin began tingling with another sign of an imminent Change.
Her stomach hurt, and she doubled over the ache. She couldn’t Change. Couldn’t! She wasn’t prepared and she was somewhere unfamiliar and—
Wait…it was woods. Mountains. Vyr wouldn’t have put a bunch of last-chance shifters where they could Change and hurt people easily. Juno gritted her teeth and went to her hands and knees.
A pile of girl-stuff had fallen out of her purse she dropped and lay scattered on the ground. She focused on a half-empty tube of cherry-red lip gloss as the bear ripped her apart.
No, no, no! She was Juno Beck. She’d always had great control over her animal, so why couldn’t she stop this now? Fuck!
Pain sizzled through every nerve ending, and a single word blasted through the inside of her throbbing skull. Want.
What? “What do you want?” she gritted through clenched teeth to the bear inside of her.
Home.
And then the animal shredded her skin, and all she could see was that tube of lip gloss broken under her six-inch curved claws in the snow. Red lip gloss, white snow, and a bone deep need for…something more.
And then the world went dark.
Chapter Six
“What do you mean she won’t see me?” Rhett demanded at the front desk.
“She had a bad night last night, and Dr. Monroe said it’s best if she doesn’t have any visitors today.”
“So it’s not her choice but the doctor’s? That’s my sister. I only get to come here three times a week, if that. Any bad day she has, she can lean on me. Not your entirely human staff who doesn’t fuckin’ understand what her animal side needs. She needs a Pride. A Crew. And I’m that for her.”
Sharon pushed her glasses farther up her nose and shrugged. “I’m really sorry, Rhett. I didn’t make the rules.”
“Well, you used to be my favorite evening nurse, Sharon. Now you’re second place.”
He was pretty sure the lady rolled her eyes, but whatever.
“I want to talk to Dr. Monroe.”
“Rhett—”
“Save it,” he gritted out. “It took a lot for me to get to come here today, and I got us dinner,” he said, lifting the bag of Sara’s favorite Barney Burgers in the air. “Plus, she always has a good day after seeing me, and I’m not leaving until you get Dr. Monroe to explain what’s actually happening.”
Sharon sighed and gestured to the waiting area of the rehab clinic. “I’ll page him. I can’t promise anything. He’s busy tonight, but I’ll see what I can do.”
“Thank you,” he muttered, making his way to the waiting room where he would pace like a caged lion like he did every time they made him wait in here.
“I want to be your favorite again for this,” Sharon called.
Rhett snorted and repeated her words, “I’ll see what I can do.”
One of Sara’s favorite nurses waved to him on her way out of the clinic, but he only gave her the head nod as usual. That one tried to flirt from time to time, but he didn’t mess around here. This place was for Sara’s recovery, and that was it.
Ten minutes of pacing later, Dr. Monroe buzzed himself out of the main doors and gestured for Rhett to have a seat. “Look, I know you’re worried, but her bad day had nothing to do with relapse, and she’s minding all the rules still.”
“Then what happened?” Rhett asked.
“Well, you know how her halfway house closed?”
“Mmm hmm.”
“And she did the right thing by her recovery and decided to come back here instead of putting herself on the outside too early?”
“Mmm hmmmmm.”
“We gave her limited phone privileges. I didn’t see anything wrong with it. She already successfully finished three months here and three months in the house, and she’s tough, Rhett. She’s doing the work here. It’s time for her to start getting little lines to the outside world back so it’s not a shock to her when she is released. Or when she checks herself out of here, whatever comes first.”
“Okay. So what happened with the phone?”
“The Saga Pride has her number now.”
“Whaaaat the fuck?” Rhett whispered, leaning back in his chair. He shook his head, staring at a hairline crack in the wall, wishing he could burn his old Pride to the ground. They were the reason she was in here in the first place. “What are they saying?”
“That they’re watching her progress, and your dad wants her to come home and take her place in the ranking.”
“That’s all well and good except they don’t know how to take care of their own.”
“You feel that way, Rhett. Sara doesn’t. She hasn’t been in here working on staying clean just for herself. She’s been earning her place back in your Pride.”
“Not my pride. I left those assholes when they kicked her out. Fuck them.”
“Okay.” Dr. Monroe ran his hands through his thinning gray hair and sighed. “Let’s set up a session for tomorrow, and we can all get to the bottom of this. Because the second she got that message from the Pride, she wanted to check herself out today. I asked her to wait on it, think on it, and she had an unintentional Change in an unsafe situation with other patients here.”
“She’s in the cage?”
“Just until she Changes back. And it’s not like I want her there, Rhett. It’s the only form of containment we have so she doesn’t hurt or Change the other patients here.”
Rhett strangled the bag of burgers and puffed air out of his cheeks, ignoring the growl in his own throat. “Okay. Okay, I understand, and she’ll understand too, when she Changes back. She wouldn’t ever purposefully hurt anyone, but we understand you have to be safe. And you’ve taken a risk letting a shifter in your facility. I know you aren’t prepared for us. I was just…”
“Just what?”
“I miss my sister, and when I don’t get to see her, it
’s hard on my animal.”
“Okay. This is good.”
“That this is hard on my animal? Thanks, asshole.”
Dr. Monroe snorted a laugh. “No, that you’re more open about the process now. Remember the first few weeks she was in here? You were so shut down and fought every step. You were overprotective until you figured out we’re here to help. Until you began to trust me and the staff.”
“Because I started seeing good changes in her.”
“Rhett…” Dr. Monroe opened and closed his mouth like he wanted to say something but couldn’t.
“Just lay it on me,” Rhett said, relaxing back into the seat.
“I know what you sacrificed to protect her. She told me.”
“It’s not a big deal.”
“No, it really is. I can’t name another person in the world who would’ve done that. And Sharon said you were late on your payment this month.”
Rhett ripped the corner of the bag of burgers and rolled it into a ball between his fingers. “My accounts got frozen. I paid the late fees already. I just needed a couple extra days to work so I could cover her stay here.”
“What you’re doing for your sister…” Dr. Monroe nodded. “Well, I wish more of our patients had support like you. Sara is one of the lucky ones.”
“Oh please. She’ll always be a dweeb. Tell her I said as much when she Changes back. Can you put these in the fridge and heat them up for her later?” he asked, handing him the burgers.
Dr. Monroe took the bag from his hands and stood. “Sure. Try back tomorrow. Her Changes don’t last more than twelve hours now. She has so much more control over them. Progress.”
Rhett huffed a breath and stood to leave. “Yeah, progress. Give her to the Saga Pride, and they’ll undo everything she’s worked for here.”