“I don’t,” Cassie said, stepping into the woman’s outstretched arms for a warm hug the likes of which she hadn’t received since before her aunt died. “But I can’t stay here any longer,” she said, easing back not because she wanted to, but because she had to. “I can’t keep taking advantage of Noah’s hospitality.”
“He likes having you here.”
Cassie folded her arms, biting her lower lip to keep from crying as she watched Jimmy load her car onto the trailer.
“I’ve known Noah his whole life, Cassie. He’s a good man. Hurting, confused, but at the core, good. All it would take is a nudge from a girl like you to bring him back to life.”
“Seems like he leads a swell life to me. Plenty of action and adventure at work. More dates than he knows what to do with.”
“That isn’t living,” Evelyn said with a firm shake of her head. “Not to a man like Noah. His whole life, that boy’s been searching for a home. Bless her, his mother tried, but I don’t think her heart was ever really into it. She kept pretty much to herself, never opened up to any of us. Even at the occasional school function we’d all meet up at, we knew things weren’t quite right between her and Noah’s daddy.”
“They spent a lot of time arguing?”
“At first. When Noah was little. But then once he grew older, they didn’t talk much at all. Noah was always real friendly. Oh sure, he went through the usual rebellious stage, but with all of our help, he came out strong.”
“I appreciate you telling me all of this, Evelyn, but seeing as I’m leaving, I don’t understand why.”
Evelyn pulled her into another hug. “Because Noah won’t. But mostly, because in order for you to make an informed decision, you need to know.”
“A decision about what? I’m leaving. The babies are all packed save for a few bottles and diapers and wipes.”
“You’re right.” The older woman sighed. “You’re leaving, and I’ve turned into the meddlesome old woman I’ve always hoped I’d never become.” Still holding Cassie tight, she said, “Please don’t be a stranger. Know that if you ever need anything—anything at all, you’ll always find shelter here.”
“Ready, Ms. Tremont?” Jimmy shouted from the curb.
Swiping at a few tears, Cassie nodded, thinking herself silly for getting so emotional over leaving people she hardly knew.
Evelyn unabashedly sniffed, too. “I was thinking maybe Kelsey and I would head to Little Rock soon for a shopping trip. You gave her your phone number, right?”
Cassie nodded.
“All right, then, seeing how I’m just sure she’ll be needing maternity clothes any day now, we’ll probably be visiting you in a couple of weeks.”
“She never told me she was expecting,” Cassie said.
“She’s not.” Evelyn winked. “But a mother can dream, can’t she?”
On that note, with Cassie still grinning, Evelyn left, and while Jimmy finished securing her car to the trailer, Cassie wandered through Noah’s house on a halfhearted search for anything she’d left behind.
A pink bootie rested beside the toaster.
A pink Velcro hair bow beside the bathroom sink.
And there, in Noah’s bed, was her heart.
Squeezing her eyes closed tight, she recalled the laughing, talking, tickling…kissing.
What had it all meant? Why was she so afraid that she’d never again feel even half as alive?
She owed those babies nestled sound asleep in their carriers all of herself. But how could she give them that when just by walking out Noah’s front door, she was so afraid of leaving the best of herself behind?
Yes, she was perfectly capable of raising Noelle and Hope all by herself, but these past few days had been like a menu for her future. Daily Special 1: Go it alone as planned. Daily Special 2: Go it with Noah, and his cozy, wonderful home with its worn carpet and furniture and cabinets stocked full of forbidden food. His wild friends and even wilder work schedule. His smile, and those crinkles at the corners of his warm brown eyes. His laughs and kisses and magical knack for always making her feel safe and secure and…loved.
Loved?
Goose bumps dotted her arms. To compensate for suddenly weak knees, she sat on the edge of the bed.
Was it possible that this absolute refusal for her feet to move from this room was love?
She’d thought she’d been in love with Tom, but look how that had turned out, and she’d known him years before they’d married. Noah, she’d known days, yet felt as if she’d known him lifetimes. And here she was on the verge of leaving him without so much as a formal goodbye.
If nothing else, he deserved thanks for having safely seen her through the delivery of her babies.
“Ms. Tremont?!” Jimmy called, presumably from the front door. “I’m ready whenever you are. Looks like it might storm, so if we want to beat the rain, we should get a move on.”
Her heart pounded.
Sitting here in this room, for the first time in months Cassie felt wanted—maybe even needed. Oh sure, not in any practical sense, but make no mistake, Noah needed her to remind him that no matter what kind of dysfunctional family he’d been raised in, no matter that his first wife had left him, no matter what the members of that wretched support group thought, to Cassie’s way of thinking, he was a wonderful man. Just like she was making a conscious decision to no longer be Tom’s victim, Noah could do the same by deciding he’s no longer the type of man who steered clear of commitments.
They both deserved fresh starts. Together.
But in order to do that, she had to be here, in Riverdale. She had to at least stick around long enough to discover if there was even a chance of him realizing he loved her as much as she now knew she loved him.
“Ms. Tremont?” Jimmy called. “I left the truck running. You ready?”
Shoulders straight, chin high, Cassie swiped what she hoped would be the last of sad or frightened tears. From now on, if Noah would have her, there’d be nothing but happy tears for the rest of her life.
In the living room, overcome with a remarkable sense of calm that in staying, she was making the right decision, Cassie said, “Thanks so much for all of your trouble, Jimmy. But it looks like I’ll be sticking around.”
AS NOAH WALKED slump-shouldered out of the courthouse, his mood went from bad to worse when he was blindsided by a wall of muggy heat the likes of which usually ushered in a storm. No wonder his knee had been bellyaching all damned day. And what a day it’d been.
He’d had to testify in a domestic abuse case, and even though Heather Clement’s husband, Vince, would be having a nice long vacation behind bars to think about what he’d done, no one had really come out a winner.
Not the two scared kids left in the care of their grandmother out in the cold, marble courtroom hall, quietly coloring while inside the courtroom their father was taken into police custody. Not Heather, whom Noah had gone to high school with, and had known as a vivacious, fun-loving science whiz who’d taken her science fair project all the way to nationals in her senior year. Vince’s repeated abuse had reduced her to a hollow shell of her former self.
She deserved so much better than a creep like that. So what’d happened? What happened to turn a guy who’d always seemed like a decent, hardworking man into a wife-beating monster? Or had he always been that way, only Noah had been too blind too see it?
He shook his head, climbing into his city-owned ride.
That question, along with so many others he faced on a daily basis, he figured might never be answered. Just like his question of why he couldn’t shake the feeling that in letting Cass and her babies go, he was making the worst decision of his life.
Yeah, right, he thought, putting the Blazer in gear and pulling onto Cherry Street. It might be the worst decision for him, but not for Cass. Not for her precious twins.
All three of those girls deserved better than him.
Just as fat raindrops splattered his windshield, filling the Blazer wit
h the scent of cool water meeting parched blacktop, he realized that Heather and Vince’s case was just one more shining example proving marriage didn’t work.
And yeah, their case might be extreme, but then maybe that was why fate had decided to make their case coincide with Cass’s leaving. To show him that letting her go was a good thing—the only thing he could possibly do.
He was heading home for some shut-eye before that night’s shift when he got word of a suspected drunk driver out on the highway south of town. With another weary sigh, Noah waited for an oncoming car to pass, then did a U-turn and gunned it, turning on his windshield wipers right after his siren.
WOULD THIS DAY never end?
Sure enough, Noah rode up on the drunk driver ten miles outside of town. He was belligerent and barely able to walk—let alone drive—in the pouring rain. His blood alcohol read .17.
By the time Noah loaded the guy up, got him processed, called one of Moe’s men out to deal with the drunk’s green Ford Ranger, then handled a minor fender bender back in town, Noah was too tired for even the short drive to his house, so he crashed on the lumpy sofa in the station’s break room.
What was the point in going home? It’d only hurt.
Round nine that night, the rain thankfully over, he’d headed out to Zane’s, planning on chatting with the kid before his nightly party. Trouble was, Zane wasn’t home, leaving Noah stuck in an ugly verbal sparring match with his old man who reeked of sweat, stale beer and self-righteousness.
It was 1:00 a.m. by the time Noah and Briggs stumbled across the aftermath of Zane’s latest escapade—a robbery at the town’s only liquor store.
The only good thing about Zane was that he was messy, leaving prints galore and a bonus prize of a surveillance tape. Surprise, you little creep. You’re on Candid Camera. He and his partner had both worn paper bags over their heads, but by the end of the booze fest, Zane’s had fallen off, giving a clear shot of the back of his head.
Just as soon as they found him, Zane was going down. The time for softhearted intervention had passed. With this robbery, he’d gotten himself into serious trouble.
By eight in the morning, when there was still no sign of Zane, or his usual posse, Noah cried uncle—at least to the lethargy taking over his body.
It was time to go home.
Like Zane, he couldn’t hide forever. And he sure couldn’t stay awake forever—no matter how bad climbing into his bed that would most likely still smell of Cass’s perfume was gonna hurt.
But then a curious thing happened. For when Noah finally pulled into his drive, it was to snuggle his big, ugly SUV right up alongside Cass’s sleek yellow convertible.
For a split-second, his spirits soared along with the new day’s brilliant sun, only to stumble upon the realization that if she hadn’t left, something must be wrong with either her or the babies.
Why hadn’t she called him? he thought, heart pounding, instantly awake as he jumped an azalea bush, taking a short cut to the front porch.
Storming inside, he started to shout Cass’s name, but then worried he’d wake the babies. A quick visual inspection told him that far from there being anything wrong in his house, nothing had ever been more right.
“Good morning,” Cass said, her beautiful face still sleepy-eyed from what had presumably been her own rough night. She stood behind the stove, flipping savory-smelling sausage patties. Her long hair down. Wild and sexy from having done nothing to it at all. Her satiny pink flowered nightgown accentuated her every curve—most notably, full breasts he wanted pressed against his chest—now.
“Seeing you…” Noah said, frozen on the kitchen’s threshold, “…smelling that sausage, I’d say what we have here is a damned sight more than a good morning. More like grrreat.”
“Mmm…” Laughing, scooping the meat out of the pan to lay it on a paper-towel-lined plate, she said, “I love it when you go all Tony the Tiger on me.”
And I love—nope. Couldn’t even think it, let alone say it. What he felt for her right now was certainly more than friendship, but it wasn’t the “L” word, either. Every woman in town knew he wasn’t capable of that. “Not that I’m complaining,” he said once his pulse slowed to normal, “but what are you doing here? Everything all right?”
She nodded.
“When Jimmy didn’t show up last night, I thought—”
“I’m sorry,” she said. “We were getting a pretty late start anyway, and he looked so tired, that I told him he should go home and get some rest. I hope you don’t mind.”
Heck yeah, he minded, but then he looked at her. At the sunlight glinting sparks off of her long, gorgeous hair. At her luminous eyes that had this knack for making him forget everything but her. “Nah,” he said. “You were probably right. Jimmy, along with the rest of us all need some serious shut-eye.”
“Guess with my night-owl crew, though,” Cass said, “even if you were here for a full night, you wouldn’t get much rest.” Refusing to meet his gaze, she fiddled with the spatula while the last remaining sausage patty sizzled.
“Cass?” Once again capable of movement, he went to her, easing his hands about her waist, losing himself in the smell of her perfume and expensive shampoo and lotion. Not to mention the sausage she’d broken her every healthy-food rule to prepare just for him. And then there was her satiny gown—the one looking and feeling so damned good with her pressed up against him, that he’d just as soon tug his shirt off, feeling her curves bound in cool, slick satin against nothing but his bare skin. “Why are you still here?”
“I…” Her breath hitched, and she clung to him before pushing away. Staring up at him through tear-filled, jade-green pools, she said, “I’m here because no matter how crazy it sounds, I love you, Noah. I love everything about you from your laugh to your unhealthy foods to the way you take care of me and my babies. Will you please marry me, Noah?” She shyly looked down, then back up. “I mean, will you please marry us?”
Chapter Fifteen
Standing there, waiting for Noah’s answer, Cassie’s heart beat so fast she feared she might be having some kind of attack.
What had she done?
She’d never meant to blurt out all of her feelings like that, let alone just come right out and ask him to marry her. But now that she had, she wasn’t sorry. She’d spoken what was in her mind and heart. The truth.
Reaching for his hands, she gave him an excited squeeze. “I don’t think we’ll want a big wedding. You and the girls are my only family. Just something quiet with a few of our friends. We can have it right here if you’d like. Maybe on the deck, and for the reception you can get one of your friends to barbecue. I’d ask you, but as the groom, you’ll be busy.”
“Cass…”
“Wait—” Releasing him, she spun off to the far end of the counter where there was a notepad and pen beside the wall-mounted phone. “Okay, talk now. I’m so excited, I just know we’ll lose some great ideas if I don’t jot them down.”
He said nothing.
Just stood there.
Staring.
“Noah? Is everything all right? We can talk about all of this later if you want.” Going to him, pressing her palms to his strong chest, she said, “Your heart’s beating a mile a minute. Maybe before we talk anymore about the wedding, you ought to grab a nap.”
“I don’t need a nap,” he said, taking the pad and pencil from her to set them on the counter.
“Then what’s wrong?”
When he still said nothing, just stood there with that muscle in his jaw popping—the same one that popped whenever he was upset or—taking a step back, she covered her mouth with her hands.
Had she just fallen off the turnip truck?
Here she was yammering about their wedding when look at him…Lips pressed tight, normally warm gaze distant and cold. He wasn’t sharing in her excitement, because he wasn’t excited. Oh, he was sick all right, but not physically. He was sick over her impromptu proposal—not to mention the fact
that he evidently couldn’t think of a kind way to turn her down, so instead he was just standing there letting his silence do the talking.
Shaking her head, crying, trembling, wanting to do all of it in blessed private, she dashed down the hall to her room.
“Cass, wait!” Noah shouted.
She hastily shut the door.
Inside, bathed in warm morning sun, Noelle and Hope contentedly snoozed on, blissfully unaware that for the second time in their lives, their daddy had abandoned them.
No. That wasn’t fair to Noah.
As much as his rejection hurt, she’d set herself up for this fall. He’d never been anything but honest with her, telling her right up front practically from their very first kiss that whatever the two of them shared, it would never go further. She’d been the one overcome with this ridiculous notion of love. And now she’d be the one left once again picking up the broken pieces of her heart.
“Cass?” Noah said, his voice muffled outside her door. “Let me in.”
“No.”
“Come on, baby. We have to talk.”
She closed her eyes, hurt all the more by his gentle tone. Wanting to hate him, yet even now, in the face of his rejection, somehow loving him more. And that knowledge left her incensed.
“From where I was standing,” she said with a brittle laugh, “your silence spoke volumes.”
“Please, let me in. Let me explain.”
Yes. And maybe with you here, in my arms, I can show you how good we’d be together. How perfect our lives would be in every detail.
Granted, logistically things might be rough at first with her business back in Little Rock, but they’d—She slid her fingers into the hair at her temples and pulled.
Listen to her. Was she stark, raving mad?
This, too, shall pass.
Across the room, Cassie’s gaze settled on one of the quotes Noah’s mother had needlepointed onto a pillow. Words of wisdom from beyond the grave?
Was the message just that simple? Get over him? Get on with her life?
The man didn’t want her, yet here she was, still spinning fairy tales of the two of them magically ending up together. How many times did she have to be reminded that for her at least, there was no such thing as fairy tales—only cold, hard reality.
Babies And Badges (American Baby) Page 16