by Lower, Becky
“No, we mustn’t. You have to realize that there is another solution. I’ve let you go on thinking that we’re heading to Oregon because I know that’s what you promised your da, and it was a way for you to grieve for him. In your da’s eyes, you could do no wrong. He raised you to be the strong, capable woman you are, and I admire the connection you two had. But it’s time to put that aside, and figure out what’s truly best for this family, at this moment in our lives.”
“I can’t put it aside, Ma. We must leave. Or I must, at least.”
“I can tell you are sad. You have been for months now. Something happened between you and Mr. Fitzpatrick, didn’t it?”
Surprised at her directness, Temperance glanced up at her. “Uh, no, of course not. He was my employer, and we shared some laughs together. That’s all.”
“So why did you give up your position as his cleaning lady and go to work for the laundry? Your hands have suffered so because of it.”
Temperance hid her rough, red hands in the folds of her new green dress. “I wanted a different challenge.”
“Right. Honey, don’t you know you can never fool your ma? Your da and I loved each other very much. So I know what love looks like, and you’ve had it written all over you since we first pulled into town. I don’t know what caused your rift, but whatever it was, you turned to Jake Shelton only after it happened. But Jake’s not the answer to your problems. Mr. Fitzpatrick is.”
Temperance attempted to dispel her mother’s accurate line of reasoning. “You have never been more wrong, Ma. All Basil Fitzpatrick has done since the day I met him is cause problems for me.”
“But he’s done so much to help our family. How can you call that a problem? All I know is that you were happy when you and Mr. Fitzpatrick were talking to each other. I haven’t seen a smile on your face since last December.”
Temperance stood and embraced her mother. She gave her a tremulous smile. “See, I’m smiling right now.”
“Maybe on your lips, but not in your eyes, honey. And that’s where it counts.”
Temperance turned away from her mother’s gaze. “Enough talk about me. What about you? Are you feeling all right? You seem more tired with this baby than with the other children. Or am I just now old enough to see the strain it puts on you?”
“A bit of both, probably. I’m five years older now than the last time I delivered a child. And it’s been a sad time for me, with your da passing, and this child coming into this world without a father. It has been more challenging to keep up with everything. I feel bad, too, when I think that this will be my last baby.”
“You never know, Ma. Maybe, in Oregon, you can find a man who wouldn’t mind taking on our brood. Mr. Walters seemed quite interested until you went into confinement.”
Martha Jones’s cheeks pinked with color at the mention of the postal officer. “He’s a very nice man.”
Temperance stared at her mother’s flaming cheeks. “Have you seen him recently?”
“He’s come out here a time or two with letters from back home.”
“I stop into the post office weekly for the mail. Why would he need to come all the way out here?”
“Maybe he thinks they should be hand-delivered. Maybe he wants to talk to someone. I told you he’s been lonely since his wife passed a few years ago. We have a pleasant time together.”
“Really, Ma? I’m happy that you’ve found someone to be friends with, but it is a bit unseemly for him to come here without any chaperone in sight.”
Martha laughed. “Don’t be getting your back up. Look at me, Temperance. What man would want to take advantage of someone who’s carrying around another person inside them? Believe me, I’m no temptation for Mr. Walters. We merely have nice conversations and he tells me what’s going on in town.”
Temperance took one more look at her mother. “If you say so. But I know your next husband, if there is to be one, does not reside in St. Louis, but rather in Oregon. So we need to start outfitting our wagon for the trip.”
Martha shook her head. “We have so little money as it is. I don’t think that’s the wisest way to spend it. We can’t afford oxen, which is what we need for the journey over those mountains. Our mules will never last. And we’ll need food, wagon parts, medicine, clothing — the list is endless. I’d prefer to wait, at least a year.”
“And I feel if we don’t go now, we’ll never get there. I made a promise to Da, and I intend to keep it.” Temperance began to cry.
“I understand, honey. Really I do. But it’s just us now, not your da. What he wanted was for us to be happy and to live a better life than the one we had in Pennsylvania. And look at us. We have a roof over our heads, food on the table, nice neighbors, friends. Plus your da is buried here. We must be sensible.”
“But we must go.” Hot tears cascaded down her cheeks. “I must go.”
• • •
Not only did she need to convince her doubting mother and siblings that their best move was to head out of town on a wagon train in a few weeks, Temperance also had to make the wagon master see there was no other option. Jake was a delightful man. He was handsome in a traditional way, with his shock of wheat-colored hair, and his bluer than blue eyes. And those dimples, oh my. His frame was large and strong and made her feel small and feminine next to him. He cared for her. He had even given her the lovely bonnet she was wearing today. Basil had never given her anything but a rough time.
So, it was time now to make her intentions towards Jake crystal clear to him. She had seen a glimmer of lust in his eyes when she allowed him to kiss and fondle her, and was aware his thoughts went straight to the bedroom. But lately, he’d been so busy outfitting his train, which was due to pull out in two weeks, that she hadn’t seen the ardor in his eyes for her. His mind seemed elsewhere whenever they were together. They still went out and were seen around town, but they spent little time alone. When they did, Jake’s thoughts were a million miles away and not focused on her.
It was time to remind him again of what he could have every night on the trail, if only he’d take her and her family with him. Yes, she needed to make him see what she had to offer.
She gave herself one last look in the mirror, tucking the stray locks of her hair in place before she set out. Today was her day off, from both the laundry and the restaurant, and she was going to find Jake and press harder to be allowed on the train. She wore the green dress that Ginger had bestowed upon her and that, combined with her new bonnet, complemented her light brown hair and her green eyes.
She’d studied the ladies in town over the winter as they dealt with their men. Even the respectable ladies employed their feminine wiles to make a man see things their way. That type of behavior was not restricted to the dance hall girls only. She’d take her cue from them, and tempt Jake with kisses until he would agree to anything she wanted, if only he could have more of her. She’d whip him into a frenzy of lust. At least she hoped she would.
As she rode into town on her horse, self-doubt began to overtake her. She’d lost Jeremiah to another woman; Basil told her to remove herself from his sight. Could her third time with a man be the charm?
It meant the difference between fulfilling her father’s desire for the family to get safely to Oregon, or being stuck in St. Louis for the rest of their lives. Her family might want to stay here rather than venture further, but she couldn’t stay in this town and watch Basil fall in love with someone else. It would break her heart even more than it already was.
Enough about Basil. She shook her head to empty those errant thoughts from her mind. You need to focus on Jake. He’s your future, just as Basil was your past. She wiped away the stray tear that had cascaded down her cheek and straightened in her saddle. Yes, she was better suited for Jake.
Temperance let herself into the warehouse where Jake had his office and hid in the s
hadows. She was stunned by the array of goods that were crammed into the space with him. Wagon parts, water barrels, leather reins, harnesses, feed for livestock, rifles — a vast assortment of what was needed for safe passage was all around her. Temperance breathed in the comfortable mix of hay and leather as she shrugged away the obvious fact that she had none of this for her crossing. Time enough to worry about that. First, she had to secure her spot on the train.
Jake was in the midst of a discussion with his assistants, the men who would daily be responsible for ten wagons apiece. Temperance stood hidden in a corner. It was obvious to even the casual observer that Jake was the leader of this band of men. Temperance’s respect for him grew while she listened to the group talk, and appreciated the way the others acted towards him. She found their discussion a bit hard to follow, since they were talking about the route they’d take, and she had yet to see any of the territory the wagon train would wind through.
“We didn’t have trouble with the Indians last year, but we still had thirty-four people die during the trek. That’s not a good percentage, especially without an Indian battle, so we have to do better this time … ”
Temperance swallowed hard when she caught that tidbit of their conversation. Thirty-four people out of the 200 or so that made the trip never got to their final destination. Her mind tossed that sobering fact around. Was she doing the right thing, leading her family to Oregon, and possible danger?
“And, from what I’ve been hearing lately, the Indians, especially the Sioux, are becoming more and more hostile. They see the writing on the wall, and know the days when they can roam the country and call the land theirs are numbered. So we need to expect an attack. If we’re spared from one, so much the better, but we have to be on our guard every minute once we get to Sioux territory.”
Indian attacks? Temperance’s mind quickly went to the lovely funeral service for her father, when the Ojibwa traditions and their Christian ways intermingled. Only by mixing, Indian, slave, Irish, German, Chinese, and whatever else, could this nation grow from coast to coast. She understood the loss of a particular way of life was something not to take lightly, but the American spirit was resilient and she was part of that movement. Evidently, not all the Indians in the country were as enlightened as the Lafontaine family.
If an Indian raid did happen while they were on the way west, could she shoot one of them? Could her brothers? Wasn’t the reason for them to trek to Oregon to protect her brothers from being expected to take up arms in a conflict of North versus South? She was good with a gun, but there was a vast difference between shooting a wolf that wanted little Noble for supper, and shooting a human, regardless of the color of his skin.
She sat on a barrel and waited for the discussion to break up while she pondered the very real scenarios these men were creating for her. Maybe she was wrong. Perhaps the family’s quest for a better life stopped here in St. Louis. Could she live in the same town as Basil, and not be a part of his life?
She had been scurrying around town for months now, trying to avoid running into him at all costs, and she was growing weary of it. If she stayed here, it would become her way of life. She dearly loved Ginger, but could she stay on friendly terms with her when Basil eventually did find the woman he wanted to marry? Ginger would then have the sister she wanted, and it wouldn’t be her. She couldn’t bear the heartache. No, it was best for Temperance to leave and do her father’s bidding. If her family didn’t want to make the trek with her, she’d go alone.
The meeting was breaking up as the men stood to leave the building. Temperance stood as well, and moved from the shadows. She pasted a smile on her face as she went forward to greet a surprised Jake. He’d be even more surprised when she declared her love for him. He’d have to take her with him then.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Jake noticed Temperance the moment she stood up. How long had she been there, in the corner of the room? He and his men had not sugar-coated the very real dangers to be found along the trail. How much of their discussion had she caught? It might be for the best if she had been privy to all of it. Then she’d give up this crazy notion of wanting to join the wagon train, and would be content to stay in St. Louis, and to welcome him with open arms each time he returned to town. Surely, the kind of relationship he had planned for them would suffice.
“Hello, little darlin’,” he said as he gathered her in his arms. “What a nice surprise. I’ve missed seeing you, but there are so many little details to wrap up.” He leaned down and kissed her lightly. When he began to pull away, Temperance’s hands came up to the back of his head and ushered him back to her for another long, slow kiss.
“I missed you, too, Jake,” she replied. “But our being apart has given me time to think about us.”
“If your greeting today is any indication of what you’ve been thinking about, we’re in agreement.”
Temperance smiled up at him. “That’s wonderful to hear, since I want us to cement our relationship before you head out to Oregon.”
Jake took a step back. “Cement it how?”
Temperance took a step forward and brushed up against his body. “I want us to marry, Jake, before you take the train out.”
Jake was certain the earth moved under him. He placed his hands on her arms and held her away from him. “Are you serious?”
Temperance sent him a level gaze. “I do have a few conditions.”
“Well, you are a woman, so I should hope so. What are they?”
“I want you to take my family on the train with you. I can drive the wagon. I’m a crack shot with a rifle, and I’m good with the animals. And Justice is almost full-grown, so he can act as the head of the family and lend a strong shoulder, if needed.”
Jake heaved a sigh. “Temperance, we’ve had this discussion already. If we marry, you need to stay in St. Louis. Since this is where I winter over, I want you here. Besides, I don’t want to put you and your family into any of the danger you just overheard me talking about with my men.”
Temperance’s eyes clouded over. She struggled with her emotions before she turned to him.
“I will come back to St. Louis with you after I get my family safely to their destination.”
“You know how I feel about this. You can’t come on my wagon train without a strong man at the helm. That’s one of my hard and fast rules, and it’s served me well so far.”
Temperance stamped her foot in frustration. “What do I have to do to prove to you I’m capable of leading the wagon by myself?”
Jake sighed. “I thought it would come to this. Look, darlin’, much as I’d love to oblige you with the marrying part, I can’t let you and your family jeopardize my entire wagon train. So, I’ve been thinking about a test for you to undertake. Cross the Meramec River with your wagon and your mules. It’s running strong right now, because of the spring thaw. If you can get yourself across without mishap, I’ll let your family come with me.”
“But the Meramec is a big and deep river!” She glanced up at him in dismay.
Jake nodded his head. He didn’t want to put her in a potentially hazardous situation, but he’d never before come up against someone so stubborn. This was the only way, and he’d be on shore to save her should she get into trouble.
“It’s similar to many of the rivers we have to cross to get to Oregon. And a lot of lives are lost by people who think they know what they’re doing. So, you have to prove to me that you are capable. If you end up in the drink, and get a mouthful of water, it’s over. Do you want to come to Oregon or don’t you?”
She swallowed, hard. “When do you want me to do this?”
“Tomorrow afternoon.”
She raised her head in a defiant gesture. “I’ll be there with bells on, Jake. The Jones family is going to Oregon.”
• • •
The hair on the back of Basil
’s neck stood up. Even before he raised his eyes, he could tell Temperance was in the bank, for the first time in several months. Despite the intervening weeks, he was aware of her the moment she stepped inside. The air crackled around them as he stood to greet her.
“Miss Jones, what a delightful surprise.” His mouth went dry as he drank in the sight of the lovely woman in front of him.
“Mr. Fitzpatrick.” She nodded her head to him.
God, she was beautiful. She was wearing a lovely green dress that he hadn’t seen before. It suited her. He suddenly had a vision of Temperance in a formal ball gown, gracing the dance floor at a Cotillion. She would be the most gorgeous woman in the room, and he wanted to be her partner. For more than just a dance. He shook his head to clear the vision.
“Lovely dress you’re wearing. Was it a gift from Jake?” Basil tried, but couldn’t quite, keep the anger from his voice.
Temperance’s gaze never wavered. “I won’t dignify that with a response.”
Basil’s gaze went to the floor before he raised his eyes back up to her. He hadn’t seen Temperance in months, and he wanted to spend the little time she was going to give him today drinking in her presence, not staring at the floor. He feasted himself on her hair, which curled around the corners of her bonnet — a new bonnet, too, if he wasn’t mistaken.
Her mossy green eyes were the same shade as her dress, which hugged her small curves. Her lips were pink and soft as she moistened them with her tongue. He loved the way the corners of her mouth tilted upwards, as if in a perpetual smile, and how the lower lip was so full and lush. He wanted to brush his thumb over that swollen bottom lip, to taste her again. His hands itched to touch her. He put them instead into his pockets.
“Why are you here after all this time?” His mouth was so dry, his voice barely above a whisper.
“We will be leaving at the end of the week, heading out finally, with Jake’s wagon train, for Oregon. I wanted to stop in and thank you, on behalf of my entire family, for your kindness and generosity over the past eight months. We would not have survived without your assistance, and for that, we are eternally grateful.”