At first, Tabitha compartmentalized her life as she had always done. She focused at work and pulled the company out of its slump. Then she went home to Kyle and forgot about work, surrendering more of herself to him. She shared details of some of the physical and sexual abuse she suffered at the hands of her stepfather and his son. She related the memories in a flat tone, however, the lack of affect telling in itself.
One night, after they had been together just over three months, Kyle gave her the tour of the house he had promised. Tabitha was familiar with the house and respected the locked office and basement. She assumed Kyle’s office was his sanctuary, and she actually was no longer interested in work. She traveled with him, hosted his friends, and cooked for them on occasion. She read copiously, and they never lacked for conversation, and when they weren’t simply spending time together, they were having sex.
Kyle keyed in the code of the metal door at the bottom of the stairs. He was wearing tight leather pants, something she had never seen him wear before. Tabitha was wearing a robe and slippers. He told her it might be a bit chilly for her. He turned the lights on and escorted her into the large room. Tabitha was astonished to see what she thought might be a torture chamber and froze, her eyes going to Kyle’s in silent question.
“This is my playroom, Tabitha,” he explained. “I think you are ready for me to explain it to you.”
He took her elbow and led her around, stopping by a large cross with restraints at either end of the X. He explained how a person would be held in such a position to allow any kind of touching to take place without them having to make a choice, amongst other things.
Kyle showed her the restraints in the ceiling and the matching ones attached to the floor. He indicated that a person would be stretched in this position and quite sensitive to a variety of opportunities. He took her to a case that held all manner of sex toys, some she recognized, some that she didn’t. Kyle had her feel the texture of a soft leather flogger and feel the heft of a wooden paddle. He showed her how beautiful pieces of jewellery would clamp her nipples and her clitoris, promising that they would increase her pleasure twofold. Tabitha’s breath quickened, and she wanted to ask him if she could try both. He seemed to read her mind.
“All in good time, my love. Your pleasure is mine to give, and I will know when you are ready to experience them.”
Finally, he led her to another structure.
“This is a spanking bench or a whipping chair, Tabitha,” he said, “and you will be restrained upon it tonight.”
Tabitha fought both fear and arousal. She didn’t believe he would hurt her but didn’t understand the concept. She thought the paddles and floggers were for punishment, for pain.
“I don’t need to be spanked, Kyle,” she managed, “why would you want to hit me?”
Kyle pulled her to him, holding her close. “Tabi-cat, it’s not about hitting you. It’s about bringing you to a place where you can let go of all those painful memories, without censure. You hold memories that will own you until you face them and not attribute how they make you feel to someone else. And then you can trust me with your pleasure.”
Tabitha pushed at his chest and leaned back and stared into his eyes. She saw nothing but compassion and understanding there, and a hint of arousal. She had a sudden thought.
“You do this with women, Kyle, don’t you?”
Kyle nodded his head, never relinquishing his hold on her. “I discipline women, Tabitha. I punish women. I train women, or I did, until I met you. Many people crave real punishment, but I only offer erotic pain, and that makes the pleasure so much better. There is a very fine line between them, and I will help you walk that.”
She shook her head. “I’m confused.”
“I’ll give you books to read on the lifestyle, love. I’m a Dom, and I part own a BDSM club. I am dominant, and my women are submissive. You are my first relationship, but I can’t be anything other than what I am.”
Kyle held her head to his chest and kissed her hair. “Tabi-cat, I want you to trust me. You need to let go of the past, and I can help you with this. You are wrestling with shame and guilt, and neither is yours to own. Tonight, you are going to find that fact to be true. You will surrender, and in your submission, you will come into your own. I promise you. I will take care of you.”
Kyle led her to the bench and slipped her robe off of her shoulders, untying the belt and letting it fall to the floor. Tabitha shivered before him, her nipples tightening. She again looked searchingly into his eyes and submitted. Kyle’s eyes reflected his elation, and her heart soared, knowing that she had pleased him.
“You will position yourself on the bench by yourself in the future, Tabitha,” he murmured as he helped her to lie over it and then secured her wrists and then her ankles.
Tabitha could feel her heart clamoring against her ribs but was also becoming aroused at what Kyle must see with her legs spread wide and her buttocks raised high. She had heard him mention the future and wondered at that.
She felt Kyle behind her, spreading her buttocks and applying something warm and wet to her anus. She shuddered in anticipation. The anal play had become something she liked, for it added to her orgasms, making them last longer, sometimes sparking them. Kyle had told her he would fuck her there when she was ready, and while the thought of his large penis going inside of such a small opening made her anxious, she believed him when he promised it would fit and feel very good for them both. A hard object, probably a plug, although bigger than the ones he had used on her thus far, pressed past the tight muscle at her bottom opening, and Tabitha pushed back against it as much as she was able to do. It went in, and Kyle twisted it until it was fully inserted. Tabitha tried to relax.
“I’m going to spank you now, Tabitha,” said Kyle in a deep voice she hardly recognized. “I know your limits and know what you need, love, but if it gets too much, you must have a safe word. Do you understand? Choose your safe word.”
“Yes, I understand,” she somehow spoke through stiff lips. “Benjamin.” Grannie had a beautiful dog named Benjamin, a golden retriever, old but so loving.
The first blow was not from Kyle’s hand as she had expected but from a flogger, and it stung. The plug shifted inside her, adding to the sensation. Her eyes filled with tears, mostly from the shock. She endured the next several blows as Kyle paused to stroke her buttocks in between each one. The heat and sting morphed into her sex, and she felt her vagina clench and lubricate, her juices coating her widespread thighs.
Everything flowed together as Kyle began to strike her elsewhere, across her back and her buttocks and her thighs. Tabitha was weeping uncontrollably, feeling as though the residual poison in her soul was pouring out of her, freeing her.
Kyle, sweating with arousal, stroked her hair away from her face. He seemed to know that her pain changed into pleasure and wanted to finish it. Kyle pushed two fingers up into Tabitha’s vagina, thrusting hard, and she clamped on him. She could feel the plug in her anus as he twisted it with his other hand. Tabitha moaned and clenched again. He whispered encouragement to her, and she sobbed in release. He quickly unfastened the restraints and pulled her up into his arms, carrying her to a bed set back in the corner. Placing her on her belly, he pulled the plug from her and immediately worked his cock into her open anus.
Tabitha pushed back on him, and he popped through to surge deep. She moaned loudly and begged him. Kyle pulled out and slammed back inside, over and over. It burned. It felt incredible. She craved more. Kyle kept thrusting, his sac slapping against her pussy.
“Touch yourself, Tabi-cat, touch yourself,” he ordered.
Tabitha reached down and strummed her clit.
“Come for me, now!” Kyle ordered.
Her climax hit suddenly, and she screamed against it, clamping down on Kyle.
Kyle ejaculated in streams of heat, and still she could feel him held tightly within her. Finally, he slid free and fell beside her, wrapping her up in his arms, kissing th
e back of her neck.
“You are mine, Tabi-cat,” he stated. “Mine.”
Tabitha heard him and believed him and felt sleep take her.
Kyle let her sleep for a long time before urging her up and drawing a tub for her to soak. She was sore but in a good way.
* * * *
Kyle instructed her to resign her position, and she complied. In truth, she was no longer needed there. The company was back up and running, making money, and Kyle wanted her available at any time, whether it be for pleasure or company. Tabitha felt wanted and needed, cared for and even loved, although she never said the word aloud. Because Kyle did not. He told her how much he desired her and showed her how much. He took exceptional care of her, ensuring all of her needs were met. Tabitha found such a relief in having the burden lifted from her shoulders. She had no cause to question him, for he always had her best interests at heart.
The physical pleasure was incredible, and she was probably as grateful to him for releasing her from her sexual prison as she was for his care. She thought she was actually putting her trust in another. That unsettled her, but she carefully examined it and inched forward, slightly wary as that prize surely came at a very high price. Kyle took her to the playroom once a week, and she came to look forward to that night, counting the days. Once, she thought he was going to invite the guests they had over for dinner that evening to the playroom, but he did not, and she was so grateful for his insight. This was their time, and she found it brought them closer together than anything else. If he included others, let them see what she and Kyle had together, it would betray her. Kyle seemed to understand that. Kyle restrained her, although she willingly placed herself in whatever apparatus he chose for the evening. He flogged her and fucked her with huge dildos or attached a vibrator to her clitoris. She would scream her release, twisting against the erotic bite of the lash or the sting of the paddle, becoming someone else, someone free from the past. Kyle would then take her anally. It became their ritual, although sometimes he would leave the dildo or vibrator inside her vagina, and the extra fullness and stimulation took his control as well as her own that much quicker.
Over that year, Tabitha educated herself on the BDSM lifestyle and came to appreciate how her submission to this dominant man essentially recreated her. While they weren’t living the lifestyle in the purist form, she gave up the burden of control and in turn gave Kyle everything that he ever dreamed of, or so he assured her. While he still did not tell her he loved her, he insisted she was his and placed a beautiful diamond choker around her neck. She never took it off, for it was secured with a tiny padlock and only Kyle had the key. Tabitha believed that she loved Kyle, if the depth of her feelings for him was in any way referenced to the hazy memories of her Grannie. More than that, she totally trusted him, with her pleasure and with her life. On the very few occasions that he felt she required discipline, Tabitha welcomed it, for it reflected his honesty and sense of fairness.
Kyle disciplined her if she spoke with self-deprecation, or if she challenged or negated his praise of her, and it only served to enhance her self-esteem and confidence. She had come to totally trust him.
He had wanted her to find a hobby, something that would enrich her life further, and Tabitha had, without any real reason, decided to try her hand at painting. Such was Kyle’s faith in her that she set aside all her misgivings and set out to enjoy something that wasn’t related to anything but quiet enjoyment. And it turned out that she had more than a little skill. Kyle gave her such encouragement.
Kyle told Tabitha that, while he wouldn’t sell his interest in Unleashed, he would become a silent partner only. His appearances there would be infrequent, only when his partner, Andrew, required him. He explained that Unleashed still used his training films, and his presence would thus be required but probably diminish over time. He asked her to accompany him, and at first she refused. She wondered why he had given her the choice and then came to understand that she needed to deal with his past as well and let go of any niggling insecurity. Tabitha, therefore, agreed to attend the next such event.
Chapter Six
Tabitha sat stiffly on the leather couch in Unleashed’s viewing room and avoided Kyle’s eyes, trying to focus on the screen, willing away her unease. She and Kyle were an established couple, and while he still owned part of the establishment, she knew he was only a silent partner in the club with no active role involving other women. She accepted it, yet she felt uncomfortable. Slowly, she forced herself to relax and felt her lips take on a more natural curve as her cheeks smoothed out. Beside her, Kyle relaxed infinitesimally, as attuned to her as she was to him.
The screen filled with a shadowed playroom setting, showing a woman spotlit from above, her bare back arched over the whipping bench, pale buttocks raised, her inner thighs glistening with moisture from her exposed pussy. A butt plug nestled between the cheeks of her ass. Even as the crowd watched, the flogger came down with great precision over her, and the woman wept and moaned in pleasure. Someone in the small gathering moaned along with her. The onscreen Kyle, dressed in leather pants, his shirtless, muscular torso gleaming with sweat, tenderly pushed her long, black hair away from her face, unveiling her features. Tabitha’s breath stopped in her throat, and her heart pumped against the wall of her chest. Kyle came to his feet, shouting for the damn thing to be turned off, right fucking now.
Tabitha struggled up, pushing Kyle’s outstretched hand away. She couldn’t breathe. She thought she would faint. She had to get out of there. She sidestepped Kyle, inadvertently aided by Kyle’s partner Andrew who rushed toward the computer. Kyle cursed as he moved to miss Andrew, and Tabitha flew out of the room, her heels sounding staccato on the highly polished floors. Kyle pounded after her and caught up to her just as she made it to one of the restroom sinks. She caught a glimpse of her staring, tear-filled eyes, her face drawn in shock, before she bent over the sink and retched.
* * * *
“Tabitha, I’m so sorry,” Kyle breathed as he held her hair back and stroked her back. “I had no idea they were going to show that.”
Kyle’s words trailed off, his brain clicking over, trying to sort out how that scene had even made it into Unleashed’s video files. That was the first video of Tabitha, long before she accepted his collar, and he was sure he had deleted it, along with all the others. Hell, he hadn’t even watched it, but the video had obviously been edited for it did not show the prelude to the whipping bench. He shuddered to think of what having her personal information shared with others would have meant, not to mention if the video had been shown another night when he wasn’t there and included the anal sex when he had claimed her for the first time. Even in her absence, it would have been a worse betrayal.
Tabitha straightened up and accepted the dampened paper towels Kyle handed her. She wiped her mouth then bent to scoop up water to rinse and spit. Kyle reached for her as she stood again, turning toward him. She went rigid and looked through him.
“I want to leave, excuse me,” she said, as if to a stranger. Her voice was wooden, and her body felt cold to his touch.
“That’s fine, love,” Kyle comforted. “I’ll call for the car.”
Tabitha didn’t resist as he led her out of the restroom and toward the front of the club, avoiding the small clusters of people who cast brief glances or pretended not to notice them. There were a couple of openly speculative stares, and a few supercilious ones, but those belonged to people unaware of his changed status. Tabitha looked forward unseeingly, but he felt her body begin to assert its familiar, graceful rhythm. They reached the foyer, and the doorman was ready with Tabitha’s cape and Kyle’s topcoat.
“The car is being brought around, sir,” the well-trained staff member advised, never once allowing his eyes to rest on Tabitha.
“Kyle!” He turned at the shout and observed Andrew bearing down on him.
“We need to talk. I have something to show you,” the big Dom huffed. “It may not be available tomorrow
.”
He handed Tabitha the purse she had left behind in her headlong rush.
Kyle hesitated, torn between getting Tabitha home and making things right yet responding to the depth of concern in Andrew’s voice. Andrew would never interfere in the need for Kyle to take care of Tabitha. Kyle had shared something of what had transpired between him and Tabitha, and his best friend would have an understanding of how tonight would have set the relationship back.
“It will take only a minute,” Andrew urged, “we’re losing the evidence as we speak.”
Kyle turned to Tabitha, taking her chin in his hand and tilting her face to his.
“Wait in the car,” he said, unconsciously commanding her. “I’ll be out in a minute.”
Tabitha kept her eyes down, but the doorman nodded to him and offered his arm. Tabitha took it and went out the door.
* * * *
Seated in the luxurious backseat of the limo, Tabitha tried to pull her thoughts together into some kind of semblance. Her gut roiled and her heart ached, that she knew. But the memory of her, captured on video and played for all to see, repeated itself over and over in her head. How could he have done that to her? Tabitha felt the urge to vomit again. She had been such a private person, unable to open up, to trust others. She had grown up with a cold, distant mother and absent father until her mother met her stepdad. Then her mother saw her as competition and treated her as such. And she had been competition, albeit the unwilling sort. Her stepfather was a deviant and his son followed in his father’s footsteps. Tabitha had never learned to trust because she hadn’t been able to do so. Even her grandmother had died and left her to fend for herself. She had learned how to act any part by the time she became an adult and knew people were comfortable around her, but she had no friends. The two men she had actually dated in college had not been interested in anything other than a physical relationship. Both of those quickly fizzled because as insensitive as those men were, they could tell sex meant nothing to her. She just went away in her head. Kyle knew all that! She thought he understood how her trust was at a premium. How could she have been so stupid?
Young, Allyson - Broken [Running to Love 2] (Siren Publishing Allure) Page 5